A/N: This is just a really short standalone that popped into my head and got written in about 40mins. It's nothing fancy, just a little bit of fun. It takes place in between Fuhgeddaboudit and Hello, Goodbye. Hope you enjoy! ~Mel
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the computer I'm typing this on. Though I think that if my dog was a transgenic, he'd be Joshua.
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Beauty and the Beast.
By
Enigma
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"Hey Big Fella, what're you up to?" Max entered Joshua's house, brandishing a bag of goodies as she always did.
"Hey Lil Fella. Joshua reading." He gave her a short welcoming chuckle. He smelt the air and looked at the bag Max was holding, wide eyed. "Max have treats for Joshua?"
She smiled at him as she crossed the room and placed the bag on the table. "I brought you the necessities. Bread, milk, cream cakes." Her smile grew wider at her last words.
"Ooh!!!" Joshua bounced excitedly, "Cream cakes!"
Max laughed at the dogman, his cuteness always got the better of her. Someone's cuteness or lack there of who didn't get the better of her however was Alec, and his entrance into the room wiped the smile off her face.
"Hey buddy. What are we up to today? Joshua 657?" Alec gave Joshua a wide grin and swung his bag onto one of the chairs. He looked a Max briefly. "Thanks for waiting by the way Max. Real nice."
She gave him a childish squint, all that was missing was her tongue poking out. He returned it with a mocking smile and a shake of his head. Joshua sniffed the air again and started to release uncontrollable bouts of excitement.
"Ooh! Ooh!" Alec bounced up and down, his hands in his pockets and a smile on his dial. Joshua stumbled over to the chair and tried to resist grabbing the bag and ravaging it on the spot. He threw his hands up and down in the air, "Is that…Is that ham hocks?"
Alec slapped him on the shoulder, "Sure is buddy! I know how much you loved the last batch so I rang my supplier. Figure I owe you for…actually I don't, but knew you'd like them all the same."
"Or maybe it's for sending him on your runs and getting him stoned?!" Max crossed her arms and produced that face again. Surely at any moment her tongue would poke out.
"Hey, I didn't give him the whacky dacky! Did I buddy?" Alec quickly picked up the bag of ham hocks and waved them in front of him. He had to stop himself from whistling and calling 'here boy'.
"You might as well have!" Max twisted her hip to the other side and cocked her foot out.
"Oh relax Maxie, everyone has to have a toke of the weed once in their lives. Isn't that right Joshua?"
Joshua growled slightly, "Joshua don't like weed. Or little wings with buffalo's."
"See Max. He learnt a valuable lesson in life." He held a hand out and smiled.
"What? That you're a dick?"
"I resent that Max. Here I was," Alec moved next to Joshua and slung his arm across his back. He softened his face with a large pout and spoke in a soft, sweet voice, "sending our boy out into the real world and giving him the chance to experience the rules of life."
"Safety first!" Joshua chimed up, his eyes still on the bag. Alec handed it over, smiling like a proud father.
"That's right my boy. Safety first." He looked at Max, mocking her. "See how fast he's learning." Alec faked a tear and wiped it away from his face.
"Shut up moron!" Max moved passed him and swiped him across the shoulder. Alec's lip turned and he may have just growled at her. She ignored him and turned her attention to Joshua. "So what were you reading Big Fella?"
"Beast and Beauty." Joshua nodded as he placed the bag on the table with his other goodies and then walked over to retrieve the book. He handed it to Max with a large smile. "See."
Max nodded as she flicked through the pages. "Oooh! Beauty and the Beast. You like it?"
"Yup." Joshua placed his hands in his pockets, suddenly all shy. He inched a little closer to Max and peered into the book. "Joshua, beast…Max, beauty."
"Ha!" Alec felt Max's icy glare and suddenly realised that he laughed outside of his head. "Oh, sorry." He paused for a moment and rubbed his chin. "Actually…eh, no I'm not. My ha still stands!"
"What's the matter pretty boy? You want to be the beauty?" Max smirked teasingly.
"Well, we all know you're the beast Max! The Curvaceous Killer!" Alec rolled his eyes.
Joshua stepped in, preventing his friends from bickering anymore. "Beauty falls in love with Beast. Beast becomes Prince again."
"There you go Max! You finally grow a set of balls." Alec sat in the chair now, his head looking over the arm to the two of them. As he turned his eyes back to the book he had picked up, he spoke under his breath, "That's if you don't already have them."
"Yeah," Max smiled her 'I'm pissed at you but trying to hide it' smile, "And you'll finally become the Princess we all know you are."
"You're just jealous because my ass would look better than yours in a skirt!" Alec flipped the pages of the book loudly.
Joshua took the book from Max's hands, "Max and Alec think story silly."
"No no. Just the Max being the beauty part." Alec waved a hand above his head as he spoke.
"Shut up Alec!" Max spat through her tightly clenched jaw, as she moved next to Joshua who now sat on the edge of the table, the book held firmly in his hands. "We don't think it's a silly story Joshua. At least I don't anyway. I think it's a great story."
Joshua nodded and stared down at the book. He flipped the cover open and trailed his fingers across the illustration of Belle, the beauty. "Think Joshua will ever find his beauty?"
"Of course you will buddy," Alec's voice came from behind the chair again. "I'm sure there's a nice poodle down the road who would love to- Ow!!"
Alec graced them with his face, just in time to see another book being thrown his way. He managed to duck the second attempt. He looked wide eyed at the two and saw anger on Max's face and a raised lip on Joshua's, his teeth started to bear and a growl starting to form. He jumped out of the chair quickly and produced one of his bright smiles. "Did I mention that I have a lifetime supply of ham hocks for you?" His smile turned into one owned by a game show host.
"Hmmm." Was all Joshua could say, well sound.
Alec moved closer to Joshua, a little more serious now. "But honestly Josh, you'll find her some day. We all deserve one fairytale moment in life." A slight shadow moved across Alec's face and the intent stare he was receiving from Max that moment made him feel uncomfortable. "Just don't wish for her to be like Max. She's really the beast."
There, he was comfortable again, because Max was pissed again. A job well done.
"As much as it pains me to say this," Max softened her ice cold stare as she switched eye contact from Alec to Joshua, "Alec's right. Not about me being the Beast part, but about the fairytale moment. We all deserve our Princess, or Knight in Shining Armour."
"Logan Max's Knight?" Joshua asked.
"Yeah, he is." Max smiled as she contemplated the answer.
Alec rolled his eyes as he removed his jacket. "Yeah and they live happily ever after in their 'Not-Like-That' world."
"Shut up!" Max was ready to really kick his ass!
"Then virus bitch will go down and Max and Logan have fairytale moment." Joshua smiled at her and Max hooked her arm inside his and hugged it to her side.
"Yeah," she smiled, "That would be nice."
Alec rolled his eyes again and jumped into the conversation before the sappiness made him heave. "Ok, who's up for pizza?"
THE END!