Hi, I'm Scott Tracy,
god you have no idea how stupid this feels writing that down. I mean it's not like anyone's going to read these anyway. Of all Alan's usual stupid projects this one takes the biscuit.
Don't get me wrong I love the kid, I'm only doing this because I love him, but he has no idea how much these 'writing about your feelings' essays bother me. I mean who ever heard of a college project called 'my family and me.' Gordon summed it up best when he told Alan we adopted him from the circus and he should go speak to his 'real' family. Writing has never been my, what do you say, forte, it's much more John or Virgil's scene. I prefer to take the more hands on approach. That's why Alan asking me to write about my memories and feelings have got me in such a spin.
But kid, I know how important this is to you and I know you well enough to know you'll be hoping there's something about mom in these so that's where I'm going to start.
Oh Alan, our mother was beautiful, long blonde hair and blue eyes that danced when she laughed. I wish you'd known her , she would have loved you. And I know in that year she did know you, she loved you so much. Mom was always the kind of person with love to spare, she loved everyone she knew, from the postman (who cried more than anyone at her funeral) and our neighbour, Mrs Abernathy to Dad.
I remember when we went on holiday to London, it must have been just before she died, she had you and Gordon in the double-buggy and me, John and Virg were with Dad. It was one of those glorious days, sun shining over the Thames, grass greener than you'd ever think it could be and everyone was so happy. We were perfect.
Anyway I remember mum sitting on the grass and us all having a picnic when she heard a shout. All I remember is mum yelling at Dad to watch us and sprinting to the river. John started crying and I remember watching horrified as she jumped into the river, (she was a brilliant swimmer, must be where Gordon gets it from hey?) anyway, she climbed out wet, holding this little girl. The girl ahd fallen in, mom saved her life.
I remember most vividly the girl's mother rushing up to mom. She was spanish and she just kept saying, 'bless you senorita, you are so beautiful'. And mom just smiled back at her, soaking wet with a great big smile on her face and I remember, even then thinking, yes you're right, she really is beautiful.
She died two weeks later. I don't want to dwell on her death, though we don't talk about it much, I know you know the details, but I remember her kissing me goodbye that morning as she dropped me at school and I remember her straightening Virgil's collar and hugging John fiercely, she always was so similar to John, in tempremant, both dreamy and thoughtful (I guess that's why they were so close and why dad found it hard to be around John after she died).
I remember being picked up from school by a sobbing grandma, and the hours at the hospital, with Dad, hoping, praying that you and Gordon would pull through. You were both just so defenceless and little then, though you wouldn't think it now, at 6'1 and 6'2, but you were. I remember even at 9, watching you two fight for your lives in ICU, having a fierce desire to protect you guys, to protect all four of you. But I couldn't protect mom.
Alan, have I ever told you how greatful I am that you and Gordon lived through that crash. I think that some way, some how, mom was looking out for you two. She had to die but she wouldn't give up on her babies. I don't know if I believe in ghosts, but I like to think that mom's looking out for us all. And sometimes like Gordon's hydrofoil accident or your racing car crash, 1st year at the Sans, remember? I know I'm right.
I guess I felt at my most peaceful, other than now, when I got my call up for the air force. Al, you'll never know speed like that, even in the thunder.... er...thunder and lightening storms, you'll never know the feeling of that kind of speed, I know you love 'Top Gun' but I swear kid, we made those guys look slow! I really felt good in the air, I still do, but those jets are really something, and the women, whew! I know it might come as something of a surprise to you, but your big brother, did actually used to have a life! Some of the women we met at the air-bases were beautiful, one in particular. She was perfect, but hey, life doesn't always go the way you plan it to, that's one lessson I've learnt, but my life's good now. When I don't have to get you guys out of trouble anyway.
I guess that's one thing you get when you're the oldest, a feeling of in built responsibility and a talent to always be right. No, Alan don't laugh, I can hear you now, muttering 'yeah right!' as you read this, but I do know my stuff when it comes to my family.
Espescially you baby bro,who else knows you like cherry garcia ice-cream on doritos, or that you have a birth mark on your right shoulder the shape of Italy, or that you keep a picture of you and mom in your second draw down. Only a big brother knows these things. (alright and Gordon, but other than that who?) You've got to give me that!
That reminds me of the time you and Gordon got drunk at that illegal, under- age rave and Virg and I had to go haul your asses out of there. Ha, I bet you didn't think I was going to write about that did ya? I remember you two clowns singing 'he ain't heavy he's my brother' as we hauled your drunken butts to bed. Dad wasn't too pleased with you two over that now was he? But he got his revenge with the satisfaction of seeing the two of you, with hangovers the size of texas the next morning.
I have no-one to blame but myself for the way you've turned out, the endless lectures and advice, I'm proud to say, have turned you into a pretty decent kid, well most of the time anyway. I only wish you knew mom, because then you'd know how proud she'd be of you today. How proud she'd be not just of you but of our little 'company',(i'll say no more) Dad's founded.
I hope that's what you wanted kiddo, if not, well don't think you're getting any more out of me, this is the longest I've sat with a pen and paper since Mrs Anderson's class in High School. Anyway, I guess my overall feelings are, i'm happy with what I've got, my health, my family and my youth (not a word Alan, not a word)!
Love Scott
p.s what,..... you want a motto? Geez what is this, ok, um....... 'Enjoy what you've got because it's true what they say, you don't know what you've got till it's gone!'
god you have no idea how stupid this feels writing that down. I mean it's not like anyone's going to read these anyway. Of all Alan's usual stupid projects this one takes the biscuit.
Don't get me wrong I love the kid, I'm only doing this because I love him, but he has no idea how much these 'writing about your feelings' essays bother me. I mean who ever heard of a college project called 'my family and me.' Gordon summed it up best when he told Alan we adopted him from the circus and he should go speak to his 'real' family. Writing has never been my, what do you say, forte, it's much more John or Virgil's scene. I prefer to take the more hands on approach. That's why Alan asking me to write about my memories and feelings have got me in such a spin.
But kid, I know how important this is to you and I know you well enough to know you'll be hoping there's something about mom in these so that's where I'm going to start.
Oh Alan, our mother was beautiful, long blonde hair and blue eyes that danced when she laughed. I wish you'd known her , she would have loved you. And I know in that year she did know you, she loved you so much. Mom was always the kind of person with love to spare, she loved everyone she knew, from the postman (who cried more than anyone at her funeral) and our neighbour, Mrs Abernathy to Dad.
I remember when we went on holiday to London, it must have been just before she died, she had you and Gordon in the double-buggy and me, John and Virg were with Dad. It was one of those glorious days, sun shining over the Thames, grass greener than you'd ever think it could be and everyone was so happy. We were perfect.
Anyway I remember mum sitting on the grass and us all having a picnic when she heard a shout. All I remember is mum yelling at Dad to watch us and sprinting to the river. John started crying and I remember watching horrified as she jumped into the river, (she was a brilliant swimmer, must be where Gordon gets it from hey?) anyway, she climbed out wet, holding this little girl. The girl ahd fallen in, mom saved her life.
I remember most vividly the girl's mother rushing up to mom. She was spanish and she just kept saying, 'bless you senorita, you are so beautiful'. And mom just smiled back at her, soaking wet with a great big smile on her face and I remember, even then thinking, yes you're right, she really is beautiful.
She died two weeks later. I don't want to dwell on her death, though we don't talk about it much, I know you know the details, but I remember her kissing me goodbye that morning as she dropped me at school and I remember her straightening Virgil's collar and hugging John fiercely, she always was so similar to John, in tempremant, both dreamy and thoughtful (I guess that's why they were so close and why dad found it hard to be around John after she died).
I remember being picked up from school by a sobbing grandma, and the hours at the hospital, with Dad, hoping, praying that you and Gordon would pull through. You were both just so defenceless and little then, though you wouldn't think it now, at 6'1 and 6'2, but you were. I remember even at 9, watching you two fight for your lives in ICU, having a fierce desire to protect you guys, to protect all four of you. But I couldn't protect mom.
Alan, have I ever told you how greatful I am that you and Gordon lived through that crash. I think that some way, some how, mom was looking out for you two. She had to die but she wouldn't give up on her babies. I don't know if I believe in ghosts, but I like to think that mom's looking out for us all. And sometimes like Gordon's hydrofoil accident or your racing car crash, 1st year at the Sans, remember? I know I'm right.
I guess I felt at my most peaceful, other than now, when I got my call up for the air force. Al, you'll never know speed like that, even in the thunder.... er...thunder and lightening storms, you'll never know the feeling of that kind of speed, I know you love 'Top Gun' but I swear kid, we made those guys look slow! I really felt good in the air, I still do, but those jets are really something, and the women, whew! I know it might come as something of a surprise to you, but your big brother, did actually used to have a life! Some of the women we met at the air-bases were beautiful, one in particular. She was perfect, but hey, life doesn't always go the way you plan it to, that's one lessson I've learnt, but my life's good now. When I don't have to get you guys out of trouble anyway.
I guess that's one thing you get when you're the oldest, a feeling of in built responsibility and a talent to always be right. No, Alan don't laugh, I can hear you now, muttering 'yeah right!' as you read this, but I do know my stuff when it comes to my family.
Espescially you baby bro,who else knows you like cherry garcia ice-cream on doritos, or that you have a birth mark on your right shoulder the shape of Italy, or that you keep a picture of you and mom in your second draw down. Only a big brother knows these things. (alright and Gordon, but other than that who?) You've got to give me that!
That reminds me of the time you and Gordon got drunk at that illegal, under- age rave and Virg and I had to go haul your asses out of there. Ha, I bet you didn't think I was going to write about that did ya? I remember you two clowns singing 'he ain't heavy he's my brother' as we hauled your drunken butts to bed. Dad wasn't too pleased with you two over that now was he? But he got his revenge with the satisfaction of seeing the two of you, with hangovers the size of texas the next morning.
I have no-one to blame but myself for the way you've turned out, the endless lectures and advice, I'm proud to say, have turned you into a pretty decent kid, well most of the time anyway. I only wish you knew mom, because then you'd know how proud she'd be of you today. How proud she'd be not just of you but of our little 'company',(i'll say no more) Dad's founded.
I hope that's what you wanted kiddo, if not, well don't think you're getting any more out of me, this is the longest I've sat with a pen and paper since Mrs Anderson's class in High School. Anyway, I guess my overall feelings are, i'm happy with what I've got, my health, my family and my youth (not a word Alan, not a word)!
Love Scott
p.s what,..... you want a motto? Geez what is this, ok, um....... 'Enjoy what you've got because it's true what they say, you don't know what you've got till it's gone!'