Chapter One - Could I push rewind?

Thinking about what I've thrown away

Could I push rewind?

The credits traverse, signifying the end

But I missed the best part

Could we please go back to start?

11:00am by Incubus

*

He was running through the gardens at the Manor.  He was playing 'chasey' with a red-haired girl.  Every time he thought he had got her she would evade him yet again.  He was getting frustrated so he sat down in a huff.  Then he felt a small hand on his shoulder.  He looked up to see her violet eyes smiling mischievously at him…then she drew out what she had been hiding behind her back.  It was a pumpkin pie and she squashed it on his head, making him jump.

*

Draco woke with a start and looked out the window of the Hogwarts express allowing his mind to wander.  With every inch the wheels moved they took him further and further away from his summer holidays and…

Draco sighed and was grateful for the solitude of his train compartment.  He had chosen this one specifically, locked the door and pulled down the blind so he would hopefully not be bothered.

Like most of the students on the train Draco wished he could relive the last few weeks of the summer but his reason was not to put school off for even longer but so he could change something he should not have said…he had hurt someone he cared for and he wasn't sure if she would ever forgive him.

His parents had gone away for the summer and his childhood friend, Gwendolyn, was staying with him as she had done every summer of his life.

Gwendolyn's parents were old family friends of the Malfoys so they had grown up together.  Her father had an odd obsession with Muggle music that he had passed on to his daughter, which she in turn had subjected Draco to every summer.

He smiled as he remembered the way her violet eyes lit up when she would listen to it, and how every single time she would say, "We, in the wizarding world think Muggles are non-magic people.  But I just think they possess a different kind of magic than we do."

Draco let his mind drift to the night before Gwendolyn was to leave, when they were listening to her favourite Muggle band, Led Zeppelin, in his bedroom and a discussion had arisen about school and boyfriends/girlfriends.

    "Come on, Draco!  There has to be someone you fancy at your school," Gwendolyn exclaimed, whilst changing the song.

Draco shook his head in response, "Nope.  Not one…anyway how about you, Gwen?"

Gwendolyn walked back to the bed and sat beside Draco who had propped himself up on one elbow.  "Nah, I don't really go for girls."

    "Bugger!  I wouldn't have minded seeing that."  Draco grinned.  "You know what I mean though, cheeky."

    "Yeah, I know.  In fact boys were my main problem last year…mum and dad reckon I was a 'naughty girl'."

    "A naughty girl?" Draco repeated, raising his eyebrows.

    "That's just their way of calling me a slut…" Gwendolyn lied down facing Draco and propped herself up on one elbow, like he had.

    "So were…I mean, did you…were you?" Draco tried to find the right words but they evaded him.

    "No! Well, I never slept with any of them, anyway," Gwendolyn replied almost indignantly.

    "So, you've never slept with anyone before?"  Draco wanted to be sure he had got the matter straight.

    "No, I haven't.  Have you?"

Gwendolyn's face was serious so Draco knew not to make a joke out of it and just shook his head in response.

"What do you think it's like?" Gwendolyn asked.  Draco was becoming a little uncomfortable with where the conversation was going, but responded to Gwendolyn's question anyway.  "I dunno…I 'spose it's just something you have to experience, you know."

If Gwendolyn was uncomfortable she certainly wasn't showing it.  Draco suddenly became very interested in his bed spread.  It was quite beautiful really; black with green dragon's embroidered painstakingly on it.

Gwendolyn reached over and lifted Draco's chin with her hand, so she could look into his eyes.  She moved herself closer to him so she could lean in to kiss him.  Draco wasn't surprised, he had kissed Gwendolyn before, and so he didn't find it strange when she pulled him even closer to herself.

Draco shifted in his train seat.  He didn't really want to think about the rest of that night, as much as it would have pleased him to do so, but he needed to think about the next day.

Draco had woken up before Gwendolyn; he got dressed and went to look out the window.  It was something he liked to do to clear his mind, sometimes.  He heard Gwendolyn stir and turned his attention back to the naked girl sleeping in his bed.  He wasn't sure if what had happened last night was a mistake or not but it certainly made him question his feelings about his best friend.

The problem was, whenever Draco's feelings were in question he generally had a hard time dealing with the situation.  He could deal with hate, contempt, smugness and many other not-so-desirable attributes…but when it came to something like love…well, that wasn't anything he had learnt growing up and was certainly not something a Malfoy openly displayed.

Draco was in the midst of contemplating his battling feelings when Gwendolyn woke up.

She sat up and covered herself with the sheet. "Hey you…how long have you been awake?"

    "Not long," Draco lied.

    "Last night…what does it mean?  I mean for you and me, that is," Gwendolyn asked, her voice groggy from sleep.

    "In what way?" Draco asked, knowing exactly what Gwendolyn meant, wanting to put off this moment.

    "You know.  I just thought that because of what happened…you know…things would be different between us."

    "I don't see how.  You got what you wanted!  You had your fun.  You found out what sex was like and that's it, right?" Draco could have hit himself right then but the hurt look on Gwendolyn's beautiful face made him feel even worse.

She tried to say something but she was utterly speechless and fought back the tears that threatened to spill over.

Draco looked away from her and hurriedly walked out of his room.

That was the last time they had spoken and that was three days ago.  She avoided him for the rest of the day and when Draco's and Gwendolyn's parents returned she told her mother and father she wasn't feeling well and asked if they could leave straight away.  

Draco sighed.  He really wished he could just go back and change everything.  He knew, of course, there were magical ways to 'push rewind but he wouldn't do that.  That would be immoral not to mention the consequences of changing the past.  He would just have to fix things himself.  He decided on sending Gwendolyn an owl when he got to school; it was easier for him to write things down.  He didn't realise then, of course, that sending her an owl wouldn't be necessary after all.

Disclaimer: I don't own the Hogwarts express or Draco but I do own Gwen.  She's totally mine.  I also don't own Incubus or the song they wrote but I think they're nifty anyway.