Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, the honorable JK Rowling does, but I wish I did own it.
Warnings: Nothing yet. Although it is meant to be funny, so expect my usual insanity.
Summary: In which Severeus Snape washes his hair, for a good reason.
A/N: This is more of a 'what if' story than anything else. Expect evil Snape and Weasley twin Mayhem.
~*Snape's POV*~
There was an itch. It was on my head. I couldn't scratch it. Or maybe I could. Should I bother? The itch was becoming more and more insistent. A part of me wondered vaguely if it was worth the effort of getting up to teach, and then I realized it being a week-end I didn't have to get up to teach at all. No demolished cauldrons compliments of that irritatingly incompetent Longbottom. Good.
Damn itch! Now it was very insistent. So I scratched it, contemplating why my hair, or rather my head should itch so badly. Lice? Other parasitic beings? Disgusting beasties crawling around in my beloved hair? I loved my hair, and contrary to the student's popular belief I washed it frequently. Not that it seemed to help it much. I immediately summoned mirrors over and examined my hair in depth. Well, I was going to do that, but I dropped the mirrors when I saw my hair. It was purple, and the fiddly spell seemed to be the source of the itching. Of course I knew right then and there washing it would do squat, and ordinary spells wouldn't work either. Nevertheless I had to try.
I crossed over to the bathroom and began washing it furiously. My entire head hurt like crazy and no changes at all. I positively refused to walk about like this! my stomach lt out a growl. Okay, I could deal with missing breakfast. More growling. Okay, No I couldn't. When I find the person who did this they will feverantly wish they had never been born. I have 5 goals in life. 1) Aquire the DADA position. 2) Wipe that smirk permanently off of Lucius Malfoy's face. 3) Terroize students to the point of insanity. 4) Stop having to teach incompetents. 5) Seriously diss the Dark Lord and get away with it.
Of course all of these goals require voldemort to be gone, well not gone before I can insult him, but at least defeated and safetly under control. Of course when i explained to Dumbledore he pretended he didn't hear and made it like I was just being courageous and noble (more like stupid and arrogant, think Gryffindors). My main goal was to take over the world but then I realized it would be tiresome. My other goals were 1) Get rid of the Weasley twis 2) Get rid of Potter. I gave up on ever getting that awful Potter to go away, and the Twins are gone so that is over at least.
Purple hair. Still not over ths shock, I force myself to walk out into the Dungeons. if it wasn't an awful bright vivid purple of a poor shade I would not mind so much. No one around, good. I walk towards the Great hall, aware of the fact that I willeventually reach the part where I will not be able to hide. Whoever was responsible was going to die slowly and painfully. I would gouge their heart out with a spoon. (A/N: Reference to Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves with the popular Sheriff played by Alan Rickman, aka Snape. Or Maybe he should gouge it out wiiiiiith a . . . herring!)
It was like those blasted Weasley twins were back. I mean, they are talented, but how much better is it to have them selling highly inventive very clever joke items by the ton? Granted, it came in handy against that awful Umbridge woman. As I walked out into the crowded room full of students eatting I felt their eyes on me and ehard their laughter. I did not bother to glare at them, but the amused look on Dumbledore'd face was more than I could possibly bear.
My eyes fell to the table where there sat a few guests. Two guests I recognized immediately. My worst nightmare. THEM. They were suppossed to be gone. I felt myself grow angrier and angrier. Accompied by their balding muggle-lover of a father with the distinctive fiery hair they looked almost smug. I could guess why.
Warnings: Nothing yet. Although it is meant to be funny, so expect my usual insanity.
Summary: In which Severeus Snape washes his hair, for a good reason.
A/N: This is more of a 'what if' story than anything else. Expect evil Snape and Weasley twin Mayhem.
~*Snape's POV*~
There was an itch. It was on my head. I couldn't scratch it. Or maybe I could. Should I bother? The itch was becoming more and more insistent. A part of me wondered vaguely if it was worth the effort of getting up to teach, and then I realized it being a week-end I didn't have to get up to teach at all. No demolished cauldrons compliments of that irritatingly incompetent Longbottom. Good.
Damn itch! Now it was very insistent. So I scratched it, contemplating why my hair, or rather my head should itch so badly. Lice? Other parasitic beings? Disgusting beasties crawling around in my beloved hair? I loved my hair, and contrary to the student's popular belief I washed it frequently. Not that it seemed to help it much. I immediately summoned mirrors over and examined my hair in depth. Well, I was going to do that, but I dropped the mirrors when I saw my hair. It was purple, and the fiddly spell seemed to be the source of the itching. Of course I knew right then and there washing it would do squat, and ordinary spells wouldn't work either. Nevertheless I had to try.
I crossed over to the bathroom and began washing it furiously. My entire head hurt like crazy and no changes at all. I positively refused to walk about like this! my stomach lt out a growl. Okay, I could deal with missing breakfast. More growling. Okay, No I couldn't. When I find the person who did this they will feverantly wish they had never been born. I have 5 goals in life. 1) Aquire the DADA position. 2) Wipe that smirk permanently off of Lucius Malfoy's face. 3) Terroize students to the point of insanity. 4) Stop having to teach incompetents. 5) Seriously diss the Dark Lord and get away with it.
Of course all of these goals require voldemort to be gone, well not gone before I can insult him, but at least defeated and safetly under control. Of course when i explained to Dumbledore he pretended he didn't hear and made it like I was just being courageous and noble (more like stupid and arrogant, think Gryffindors). My main goal was to take over the world but then I realized it would be tiresome. My other goals were 1) Get rid of the Weasley twis 2) Get rid of Potter. I gave up on ever getting that awful Potter to go away, and the Twins are gone so that is over at least.
Purple hair. Still not over ths shock, I force myself to walk out into the Dungeons. if it wasn't an awful bright vivid purple of a poor shade I would not mind so much. No one around, good. I walk towards the Great hall, aware of the fact that I willeventually reach the part where I will not be able to hide. Whoever was responsible was going to die slowly and painfully. I would gouge their heart out with a spoon. (A/N: Reference to Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves with the popular Sheriff played by Alan Rickman, aka Snape. Or Maybe he should gouge it out wiiiiiith a . . . herring!)
It was like those blasted Weasley twins were back. I mean, they are talented, but how much better is it to have them selling highly inventive very clever joke items by the ton? Granted, it came in handy against that awful Umbridge woman. As I walked out into the crowded room full of students eatting I felt their eyes on me and ehard their laughter. I did not bother to glare at them, but the amused look on Dumbledore'd face was more than I could possibly bear.
My eyes fell to the table where there sat a few guests. Two guests I recognized immediately. My worst nightmare. THEM. They were suppossed to be gone. I felt myself grow angrier and angrier. Accompied by their balding muggle-lover of a father with the distinctive fiery hair they looked almost smug. I could guess why.