Author's Notes:
Icy: Howdy howdy howdy! Another chapter is UP! Up, I says! *Munches on cheese*
Kim: That's...nice...Well, Icy and I tied up the other muses and threw them in the basement. So WE get to host this chapter!
Icy: Howdy howdy howdy...*Belches* LISTEN UP! Nobody reviewed last chapter! *Demon glare* No reviews for us muses to feed on make a rather noticeable lack of updates...
Kim: And Icy's obsessed with saying howdy howdy howdy. Anyway, onto the chapter!
Icy: Howdy howdy howdy, we don't own Zelda.
*John appears at age 17*
John: WOW, I look awesome!!!!! ^_^ Now let's see...I have to go get my horsee. *Walks out of temple*
*A few moments later, Kristin, Samuel, Charity, Danielle, and Cherri appear*
Kristin: WOW, I look awesome!!!!! ^_^
Samuel: Kristin, you look like a walking stick.
Kristin: *Looks in pocket mirror* Well...I look like a seventeen-year old walking stick. Gimme THAT much credit!
Samuel: No.
Danielle: What do I look like?! *Runs over and grabs mirror* Nifty! I'm six feet tall!
All: *Look down at Danielle* Really...?
Danielle: BE QUIET!
Charity: I look the same...only taller...how rude...
Samuel: Charity? How'd you get here?
Charity: Compliments of Kokkan. ^_~
Cherri: This is nice and all...But...where's John?
Kristin: *Looks around* Where?! He's GONE! *Sits on floor and begins wailing*
Samuel: Well...gotta keep up John's reputation...*Kicks Kristin through wall*
Charity: Gotta keep up Cherri's reputation...*Bashes Samuel*
Cherri: I'm perfectly capable of keeping up my reputation...*Bashes Samuel and Charity*
Samuel: KNOCK IT OFF! John's gone, so no fairies!
Danielle: Guys, shouldn't we get going?
Kristin: *Walks back through wall* That would be too easy.
Danielle: Let's just get going...
All: *Walk out into courtyard*
One Hundered ReDeads: AAAAOOOOOWWWWW!!!
Danielle: *Looks around at one hundered dead ReDeads (Compliments of John) and one hundered live ReDeads* Oh help. [1]
Samuel: Well, John gave this to me...*Pulls out Din's Fire and uses it*
*Dramatic music plays and the ReDeads burn away*
Charity: *Black and burnt to a crisp* Samuel...you roasted us, too...
Danielle: *Coughs*
Samuel: Oops...
Cherri: Let's just get going...But, where should we head?
Kristin: *Singing to the tune of 'Follow the Yellow Brick Road'* Follow the
dead bodies, follow the dead bodies, follow, follow, fol-
*Arrow whizzes out of nowhere, missing Kristin by one millimeter and
effectively silencing her*
Samuel: Well, John's not too far away...
Charity: That singing sounded worse than a cat dying while nails slide on a
chalkboard.
Danielle: I'm scarred for life.
Kristin: HEY!
John: *Comes up riding on Epona* Wazzup?
Kristin: You beat Ingo?
John: Of course! I killed him! ^_^
Cherri: MURDERER!
Kristin: Cherri, the guy wears pink overalls.
Cherri: Oh, in THAT case, kudos to you! ^_^
Danielle: John, WHY are you wearing Link's clothes?
John: Eh, they're okay. Much better'n the skirt little Link wore.
Samuel: ...But now you've got tights...
John: *Pulls out Master Sword menacingly*
Samuel: Then again, never mind.
Charity: Hey, do you hear something?
Kristin: I hear London, I hear France, I hear-
Cherri: Don't even go there.
Kristin: Hmph.
Danielle: I hear something too. Horses...?
John: Oh yes, there's approximately 100 Gerudos are coming after us at the moment, all on horseback. In the front line, five Gerudos are ahead of the others. Three of which have red hair in ponytails, the other two have their hair down. In the very front are two Gerudos who appear to be a blonde woman, and an older woman.
All: *Blink*
Samuel: And HOW do you know that?
John: I have elven eyes. ^_^
Samuel: Oh. Right. But we do too...
John: Shut up.
Cherri: And HOW, may I ask, are we going to beat them? Not that they'd kill me, anyway, considering they think I'm Nabooru, but...
John: I have a secret weapon...Ahaha...*Leaps off Epona, runs off*
Rest: HEY! *Follow John*
All: *Approach a black pick-up truck*
Kristin: You have a PICKUP TRUCK?! *Facefaults*
John: Yes, this is our key to freedom! *Reaches into toolbox, pulls out shotgun and pistol* Okay, now where is...*Reaches into toolbox* BEEP! *Pulls out six shotgun bullets and nine pistol bullets* My, what a rather unpleasant experience this has become. Rather a pity that I did not forsee this difficult situation and place extra ammunition for our self defense weapons in this vehicle.
(Note: John did not say the last two sentences, but we did have to do some censoring...Carry on!)
Charity: Whoa, what a vocabulary you've got. O_o
John: *Glares* We have take this fight very seriously. 'Cause if Charity or Cherri dies, we'll be in trouble 'cause they're essential characters. We'd get a Game Over.
Danielle: *Nearly passes out* We're gonna die.
John: Cherri, you're driving. Charity, you're passenger.
Danielle: We're REALLY gonna die.
Charity: *Faints*
John: *Bashes Charity on the head* WAKE UP!
Charity: I'm up! I'm up!
John: *Hands pistol to Charity, gives Cherri Master Sword and Mirror Shield, gives Danielle bow and arrows, loads shotgun, and looks at Samuel and Kristin* You've already got weapons, so forget you. Okay, let's kick some Gerudo butt. ^_^
Cherri: *Hops in truck, followed by Charity, turns on the truck*
*Country music blares out at maximum volume*
John: Okay, everyone else in the truck bed.
Kristin: Country...music...evil...demonic...*Shoots radio with dart gun*
*Radio still blares*
John: *Levels shotgun at Kristin*
Kristin: Meepers! *Dives into truck bed*
*Everyone else dives into truck bed as Gerudos come into view*
John: *Fires shotgun, dropping six Gerudos* Cherri, start driving already!
Cherri: You have a stick shift?!
John: Live with it! Now drive! And don't mess up the transmission!
Cherri: Okaaaay...*Truck starts moving at 1 mph*
John: Put the petal to the metal already!
Cherri: Okay, if you say so...*Slams gas pedal*
*Car jerks forward, sending everyone flying through the air and slamming up against the tailgate*
*Repeated shots come out of truck bed, more Gerudos fall over*
Gerudos: *Make big circle around speeding truck*
Charity: *Praying* We're gonna die, we're gonna die, CHERRI, YOU'RE GONNA KILL US! *Rolls down window and fires gun*
*More Gerudos die...this is getting old...*
Kristin: *Fires dart gun* AHAHAHA! You stooooopid Gerudos are no match for CHEESE!
*Beat*
John: Kristin, you're not even using cheese.
Kristin: Shut up! CHEESE IS UNBEATABLE!
Random Gerudo: *Slices at Kristin*
Kristin: IYEEE!!! JOHN, HELP!
*Last bullet in John's gun shoots Gerudo's head off*
John: *Tosses shotgun into toolbox and pulls out Biggoron's sword* Outta bullets already.
Samuel: Where'd you get that sword?
John: Let's just say Goron City is missing some of it's key items.I stole 'em. *Grins evilly*
15 minutes later.
*All but one Gerudo are dead*
Kristin: AHAHA! One more Gerudo! We will beat her! Ahaha! Oh, dangit, I'm outta darts. *Sniffles*
Samuel: I'm outta arrows. O.o
Danielle: Me too.
Cherri: Charity and I are outta bullets. Better keep driving.*Drives right over big rock, knocking John from truck* Oops.*Slams on brakes*
John: *Groans and rubs head*
Gerudo: Now I'll get you for killing me back seven years AGO!
Kristin: Ack! It's Mrs. Carter! O_O
Gerudo: *Impales John with glaive*
John: *Swings sword and cuts her head off, falls over, and disapears*
Samuel: He's dead. O_O
Charity: Iee.
Danielle: HURRAY! *Waves pom poms*
Cherri: Uh.*Stares blankly*
Kristin: HE'S GONE! WAAAA-*Passes gas* [2]
*Beat*
Samuel: That right there, that was messed up. *Tosses Kristin out of truck* Ick, the smell.
Kristin: Ack! *Lands on ground*
Cherri: *Waves from truck* We'll pick you back up once the smell wears out.
*At Temple of Time*
John: *Suddenly appears* Whoa, that was cool. I'll have to die more often. *Grins wickedly and leaves*
Back in Hyrule Field.
Charity: *Sticks on gas mask and walks over to Kristin* Is the smell gone yet?
Kristin: Oh, stop it! *Knocks off gas mask*
Charity: *Eyes bulge out* The SMELL! AH! *Runs back to the truck*
Kristin: *Sniffles and looks at nearby hill* Ooh.a stranger. I'll kill him with my stench, then STEAL STUFFLES FROM HIM! It's brilliant, brilliant, BRILLIANT I TELL YOU! AHAHA! *Knocks over tree and scuttles over to stranger*
John: Alright, there's my truck. *Looks at figure wildly scuttling towards him* Hm.?
Kristin: HUMDIGGER! *Pounces on John*
John: Humdigger? Wacko.*Slices Kristin in half with Biggoron's Sword* Huh? Kristin? Oops.*Grins evilly and tosses fairy on remains*
Kristin: *Comes alive and blinks* The smell must've worn off.Sorry, mister.Huh? AIYEE! TIS JOHN! IT'S ALIVE! AAAAAAHH!!! *Runs back to the truck, screaming*
Danielle: SHE'S COMING BACK! She must be trying to kamikaze! RUN!
Cherri: *Hits the gas pedal*
Kristin & John: *Watch as truck speeds off towards Kokiri Forest*
Kristin: Aw.Great, now I'm stuck out here with an un-dead John. Beautiful. *Sighs*
John: *Walks up* Y'know, I CAN just play one of those warp songs and get us there quickly.
Kristin: Well.Okay. Better to warp quickly with an un-dead John then walk across the field by meeself.
John: *Smirks* Or maybe I'll just go myself. *Whips out Ocarina and starts disapearing in a flash of cheesy green light*
Kristin: HEY! *Grabs onto John's arm at the last millisecond*
Domino: *Pops in* Now that we managed to escape and are now murdering Icy and Kim repeatedly, we're stopping this chapter RIGHT HERE! So live with it! Watch for the new chapter soon.
[1] John thought that was funny - DEAD ReDEADS and ReDEADS that are alive. Get it?
[2] Natural gas factory, heh heh! ^_^
Icy: Howdy howdy howdy! Another chapter is UP! Up, I says! *Munches on cheese*
Kim: That's...nice...Well, Icy and I tied up the other muses and threw them in the basement. So WE get to host this chapter!
Icy: Howdy howdy howdy...*Belches* LISTEN UP! Nobody reviewed last chapter! *Demon glare* No reviews for us muses to feed on make a rather noticeable lack of updates...
Kim: And Icy's obsessed with saying howdy howdy howdy. Anyway, onto the chapter!
Icy: Howdy howdy howdy, we don't own Zelda.
*John appears at age 17*
John: WOW, I look awesome!!!!! ^_^ Now let's see...I have to go get my horsee. *Walks out of temple*
*A few moments later, Kristin, Samuel, Charity, Danielle, and Cherri appear*
Kristin: WOW, I look awesome!!!!! ^_^
Samuel: Kristin, you look like a walking stick.
Kristin: *Looks in pocket mirror* Well...I look like a seventeen-year old walking stick. Gimme THAT much credit!
Samuel: No.
Danielle: What do I look like?! *Runs over and grabs mirror* Nifty! I'm six feet tall!
All: *Look down at Danielle* Really...?
Danielle: BE QUIET!
Charity: I look the same...only taller...how rude...
Samuel: Charity? How'd you get here?
Charity: Compliments of Kokkan. ^_~
Cherri: This is nice and all...But...where's John?
Kristin: *Looks around* Where?! He's GONE! *Sits on floor and begins wailing*
Samuel: Well...gotta keep up John's reputation...*Kicks Kristin through wall*
Charity: Gotta keep up Cherri's reputation...*Bashes Samuel*
Cherri: I'm perfectly capable of keeping up my reputation...*Bashes Samuel and Charity*
Samuel: KNOCK IT OFF! John's gone, so no fairies!
Danielle: Guys, shouldn't we get going?
Kristin: *Walks back through wall* That would be too easy.
Danielle: Let's just get going...
All: *Walk out into courtyard*
One Hundered ReDeads: AAAAOOOOOWWWWW!!!
Danielle: *Looks around at one hundered dead ReDeads (Compliments of John) and one hundered live ReDeads* Oh help. [1]
Samuel: Well, John gave this to me...*Pulls out Din's Fire and uses it*
*Dramatic music plays and the ReDeads burn away*
Charity: *Black and burnt to a crisp* Samuel...you roasted us, too...
Danielle: *Coughs*
Samuel: Oops...
Cherri: Let's just get going...But, where should we head?
Kristin: *Singing to the tune of 'Follow the Yellow Brick Road'* Follow the
dead bodies, follow the dead bodies, follow, follow, fol-
*Arrow whizzes out of nowhere, missing Kristin by one millimeter and
effectively silencing her*
Samuel: Well, John's not too far away...
Charity: That singing sounded worse than a cat dying while nails slide on a
chalkboard.
Danielle: I'm scarred for life.
Kristin: HEY!
John: *Comes up riding on Epona* Wazzup?
Kristin: You beat Ingo?
John: Of course! I killed him! ^_^
Cherri: MURDERER!
Kristin: Cherri, the guy wears pink overalls.
Cherri: Oh, in THAT case, kudos to you! ^_^
Danielle: John, WHY are you wearing Link's clothes?
John: Eh, they're okay. Much better'n the skirt little Link wore.
Samuel: ...But now you've got tights...
John: *Pulls out Master Sword menacingly*
Samuel: Then again, never mind.
Charity: Hey, do you hear something?
Kristin: I hear London, I hear France, I hear-
Cherri: Don't even go there.
Kristin: Hmph.
Danielle: I hear something too. Horses...?
John: Oh yes, there's approximately 100 Gerudos are coming after us at the moment, all on horseback. In the front line, five Gerudos are ahead of the others. Three of which have red hair in ponytails, the other two have their hair down. In the very front are two Gerudos who appear to be a blonde woman, and an older woman.
All: *Blink*
Samuel: And HOW do you know that?
John: I have elven eyes. ^_^
Samuel: Oh. Right. But we do too...
John: Shut up.
Cherri: And HOW, may I ask, are we going to beat them? Not that they'd kill me, anyway, considering they think I'm Nabooru, but...
John: I have a secret weapon...Ahaha...*Leaps off Epona, runs off*
Rest: HEY! *Follow John*
All: *Approach a black pick-up truck*
Kristin: You have a PICKUP TRUCK?! *Facefaults*
John: Yes, this is our key to freedom! *Reaches into toolbox, pulls out shotgun and pistol* Okay, now where is...*Reaches into toolbox* BEEP! *Pulls out six shotgun bullets and nine pistol bullets* My, what a rather unpleasant experience this has become. Rather a pity that I did not forsee this difficult situation and place extra ammunition for our self defense weapons in this vehicle.
(Note: John did not say the last two sentences, but we did have to do some censoring...Carry on!)
Charity: Whoa, what a vocabulary you've got. O_o
John: *Glares* We have take this fight very seriously. 'Cause if Charity or Cherri dies, we'll be in trouble 'cause they're essential characters. We'd get a Game Over.
Danielle: *Nearly passes out* We're gonna die.
John: Cherri, you're driving. Charity, you're passenger.
Danielle: We're REALLY gonna die.
Charity: *Faints*
John: *Bashes Charity on the head* WAKE UP!
Charity: I'm up! I'm up!
John: *Hands pistol to Charity, gives Cherri Master Sword and Mirror Shield, gives Danielle bow and arrows, loads shotgun, and looks at Samuel and Kristin* You've already got weapons, so forget you. Okay, let's kick some Gerudo butt. ^_^
Cherri: *Hops in truck, followed by Charity, turns on the truck*
*Country music blares out at maximum volume*
John: Okay, everyone else in the truck bed.
Kristin: Country...music...evil...demonic...*Shoots radio with dart gun*
*Radio still blares*
John: *Levels shotgun at Kristin*
Kristin: Meepers! *Dives into truck bed*
*Everyone else dives into truck bed as Gerudos come into view*
John: *Fires shotgun, dropping six Gerudos* Cherri, start driving already!
Cherri: You have a stick shift?!
John: Live with it! Now drive! And don't mess up the transmission!
Cherri: Okaaaay...*Truck starts moving at 1 mph*
John: Put the petal to the metal already!
Cherri: Okay, if you say so...*Slams gas pedal*
*Car jerks forward, sending everyone flying through the air and slamming up against the tailgate*
*Repeated shots come out of truck bed, more Gerudos fall over*
Gerudos: *Make big circle around speeding truck*
Charity: *Praying* We're gonna die, we're gonna die, CHERRI, YOU'RE GONNA KILL US! *Rolls down window and fires gun*
*More Gerudos die...this is getting old...*
Kristin: *Fires dart gun* AHAHAHA! You stooooopid Gerudos are no match for CHEESE!
*Beat*
John: Kristin, you're not even using cheese.
Kristin: Shut up! CHEESE IS UNBEATABLE!
Random Gerudo: *Slices at Kristin*
Kristin: IYEEE!!! JOHN, HELP!
*Last bullet in John's gun shoots Gerudo's head off*
John: *Tosses shotgun into toolbox and pulls out Biggoron's sword* Outta bullets already.
Samuel: Where'd you get that sword?
John: Let's just say Goron City is missing some of it's key items.I stole 'em. *Grins evilly*
15 minutes later.
*All but one Gerudo are dead*
Kristin: AHAHA! One more Gerudo! We will beat her! Ahaha! Oh, dangit, I'm outta darts. *Sniffles*
Samuel: I'm outta arrows. O.o
Danielle: Me too.
Cherri: Charity and I are outta bullets. Better keep driving.*Drives right over big rock, knocking John from truck* Oops.*Slams on brakes*
John: *Groans and rubs head*
Gerudo: Now I'll get you for killing me back seven years AGO!
Kristin: Ack! It's Mrs. Carter! O_O
Gerudo: *Impales John with glaive*
John: *Swings sword and cuts her head off, falls over, and disapears*
Samuel: He's dead. O_O
Charity: Iee.
Danielle: HURRAY! *Waves pom poms*
Cherri: Uh.*Stares blankly*
Kristin: HE'S GONE! WAAAA-*Passes gas* [2]
*Beat*
Samuel: That right there, that was messed up. *Tosses Kristin out of truck* Ick, the smell.
Kristin: Ack! *Lands on ground*
Cherri: *Waves from truck* We'll pick you back up once the smell wears out.
*At Temple of Time*
John: *Suddenly appears* Whoa, that was cool. I'll have to die more often. *Grins wickedly and leaves*
Back in Hyrule Field.
Charity: *Sticks on gas mask and walks over to Kristin* Is the smell gone yet?
Kristin: Oh, stop it! *Knocks off gas mask*
Charity: *Eyes bulge out* The SMELL! AH! *Runs back to the truck*
Kristin: *Sniffles and looks at nearby hill* Ooh.a stranger. I'll kill him with my stench, then STEAL STUFFLES FROM HIM! It's brilliant, brilliant, BRILLIANT I TELL YOU! AHAHA! *Knocks over tree and scuttles over to stranger*
John: Alright, there's my truck. *Looks at figure wildly scuttling towards him* Hm.?
Kristin: HUMDIGGER! *Pounces on John*
John: Humdigger? Wacko.*Slices Kristin in half with Biggoron's Sword* Huh? Kristin? Oops.*Grins evilly and tosses fairy on remains*
Kristin: *Comes alive and blinks* The smell must've worn off.Sorry, mister.Huh? AIYEE! TIS JOHN! IT'S ALIVE! AAAAAAHH!!! *Runs back to the truck, screaming*
Danielle: SHE'S COMING BACK! She must be trying to kamikaze! RUN!
Cherri: *Hits the gas pedal*
Kristin & John: *Watch as truck speeds off towards Kokiri Forest*
Kristin: Aw.Great, now I'm stuck out here with an un-dead John. Beautiful. *Sighs*
John: *Walks up* Y'know, I CAN just play one of those warp songs and get us there quickly.
Kristin: Well.Okay. Better to warp quickly with an un-dead John then walk across the field by meeself.
John: *Smirks* Or maybe I'll just go myself. *Whips out Ocarina and starts disapearing in a flash of cheesy green light*
Kristin: HEY! *Grabs onto John's arm at the last millisecond*
Domino: *Pops in* Now that we managed to escape and are now murdering Icy and Kim repeatedly, we're stopping this chapter RIGHT HERE! So live with it! Watch for the new chapter soon.
[1] John thought that was funny - DEAD ReDEADS and ReDEADS that are alive. Get it?
[2] Natural gas factory, heh heh! ^_^