AUTHOR'S NOTE: Spoiler alert for book five. If you haven't read it, then I'd advise you not to continue. I wrote this along with my friend Tamashii when I heard how Order of the Phoenix ended.

I hear them above me living their own happy little lives, in their happy little world while I continue on in this darkness. Once I was revered like some mad god of sorts because I lived while other merely died. But now I am the boy who lived but does not survive.

Aunt Petunia is flittering around the house while Uncle Vernon is reading his morning newspaper as my cousin Dudley eats his breakfast of ham, eggs, with a side of hash browns and toast and a glass of orange juice. I continue to sit in the darkness that has become my life, misery and loneliness my only companions.

I recall the days that led up to this unlife. Actually to be more correct, I know how everything came to be as they are to be. It began with a single name and thus ended with that horrible name. Voldemort. He who must not be name.

First he murdered my parents and tried to kill me. Image his surprise when his horrible spell was defeated by a mere boy. I, the boy who lived. Then with a great deal of patience and careful plotting, that took years to come to fruition, he came back!

But again, I won and thus began a harrowing journey leading to ultimate destruction…but not by Voldemort's hand.

Then the past began to haunt me, the one who survived. A past that I had not known I became involved in just by existing. How dangerous and deadly the pen became then! And yet again I won against the Dark Lord. I came close to destruction then. Sometimes as I sit here in my little cupboard underneath the steps wishing I had died. Thinking maybe if I had, the deaths that followed wouldn't have happened.

First there was good, pure Cedric Diggory. Then there was my beloved godfather, the only true link I had to my parents. But that wasn't the end of my pain.

By the time I returned to my sixth year in Hogwarts, many of the people I knew were gone. Colin Creevey, the boy who once followed me around with a camera forever snapping pictures of me. Oliver Wood, the young man who led Griffendor to victory in Quidditch for two years straight. Even a few of my rivals vanished. Crabbe, Goyle, even Draco Malfoy was gone.

My final year was the worse when it was to be my best. I finally won the love of my crush, Cho. For the entire year, her and I could not be parted. It was always Hermione, Krum, Ron, her and me. Then Voldemort had his final revenge.

At night, I can still hear the screams. I can see their empty eyes staring back at me. Hermione, gone where her knowledge could not help her. Ron dead, with tears for our fallen friend still sliding down his face. And Cho! My love! The Dark Lord gave her the worse fate, the fate that met Cedric and my parents.

I don't regret taking my wand and thrusting it as hard as I ever could into his heart. I don't regret causing the end of a life. But I can still see the last expression in his eyes, the last words on his lips. "And so you live". His last chuckle of humour faded into nothing as his breath died in his throat. Dead.

Now I sit here listening to them talking about me outside the door. Waiting, praying for an end to my torment.

"Odd young man. Not a friend in the world. So sad but so very dangerous. Did you hear what he did to some old man? Why he killed him, used some funny stick with a feather inside to stab him to death."

"You don't say, well off to the funny farm with the loony."

Poor Harry. The boy who lived.

I wish I hadn't.

Ok time to review and join Tai's Harry Potter RP at groups.yahoo.com/group/Harry_Potter_Lives_RPG/ J