Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, the honorable JK Rowling does, but I wish I did own it.
Warnings: Nothing yet. Although it is meant to be funny, so expect my usual insanity.
Summary: Draco is next, and Snape gets his revenge, sort of.
A/N: Watch out for seriously messed-up Snape. This conclusion is really, really crazy . . .
~*Dumbledore's POV*~
This was the second time just this morning I have had to see Snape. First it was the purple hair that nothing could get rid of. Flitwick said it was a very good charm, it would take a month to wear off, but he couldn't help Snape. I do suspect Flitwick was simply supporting the Weasley Twins (their new official title) in encouraging jokes.
As I watched Snape stand in front of my desk, a girl wrapped firmly around his waist nuzzling him, I felt pity. He was stuck with this, whatever it was.
"Sit down please." I told him. He sat down, glad to no longer be dragged down by the girl affixed to him. She promptly clambered onto his lap and began to try to plant kisses on his cheeks, while he sat fending her off. She was oblivious to him and merely shifted herself.
This was something I felt confident about. I could deal with this absolute terror. I was well liked, but being old and not appealing in this way was a definite blessing,
"She's hampering my wand use." Severeus hissed. "And all the other teachers are far too amused to aid me in any way." I chuckled while he glared back at me.
I took out my wand and yelled "DECONFUZZLIFY!" Okay, no reaction. She was acting of her own free will, which was both good and bad. Good because that meant students were not responsible for this, but bad because it made things harder to deal with.
Once again I pointed my want. This time I yelled out "VARNISHIFY!"
Immediately the room smelled of shoe-polish and Snape stood there shaking, covered from head to toe in magical varnish.
"Whoops." I said happily. "It was my mistake."
I redid the spell. "VANISHIFY!"
Immediately both Snape and the girl vanished.
"Oh dear, oh dear." I said to myself.
"Filch?" I yelled. "I did you know what again!"
Filch dashed into my office looking smug,
"I accidentally vanished Snape, he should be somewhere in the school with a blond-haired girl." I told him.
~*Harry's POV*~
"OY!" shouted Ron. "Harry!"
"What." I said.
"They found Snape."
"Huh . . ?" What about finding Snape. Was I supposed to care? I mean . . .
"Stuffed inside a broom closet." He sniggers. "Got rid of the fangirl, but he's covered in dust."
Fred and George dashed by. 'Worked better than we thought!" they both said. "And Snape's memory has been wiped by Dumbledore so he doesn't remember anything, Dumbledore 'accidentally' wiped too much." Fred told me and Ron.
"Can't figure out why he has purple hair" said George. "Really confused."
"Malfoy is next." Said Fred.
"When that nasty little git enters the classroom both he and Snape are going to be covered in buckets of algae from . . ."
At that moment Snape walked down the corridor. Fred looked up. 'What is up with him?" he asked. Snape was laughing.
"Hello." He said to George. "Like my new hair?" He danced a bit.
"Are you okay sir?" I asked.
"Oh yes fine, Mr. Pottit."
"Memory wipe." Hissed Fred. "Obviously affected more than Dumbledore realized . . ."
"Let's see how much." George said to me, obviously thinking of something to irritate Snape with.
"OY SNAPEYBOY!" shouted George. "DRACO MALFOY IS AN UGLY GIT!"
Snape nodded to George in an agreeable manner. He then looked at George like he and George were long lost cousins. He gave him a big hug, while we all stared at Snape, all of us in total shock.
"I know he is, his father's a big rich spoiled pig too." He bounced up and down uncharacteristically. "I stuffed Draco into the girl's toilet, the one where Moaning Myrtle haunts. Last I saw him he was trying to get himself out while she screamed at him."
I had nothing to say to this, and not even one of the twins could speak. Snape gave a victorious laugh, giggled suddenly and informed us in a very secretive voice "I told Voldemort he could go boil his ugly head, I wasn't working for him anymore."
Warnings: Nothing yet. Although it is meant to be funny, so expect my usual insanity.
Summary: Draco is next, and Snape gets his revenge, sort of.
A/N: Watch out for seriously messed-up Snape. This conclusion is really, really crazy . . .
~*Dumbledore's POV*~
This was the second time just this morning I have had to see Snape. First it was the purple hair that nothing could get rid of. Flitwick said it was a very good charm, it would take a month to wear off, but he couldn't help Snape. I do suspect Flitwick was simply supporting the Weasley Twins (their new official title) in encouraging jokes.
As I watched Snape stand in front of my desk, a girl wrapped firmly around his waist nuzzling him, I felt pity. He was stuck with this, whatever it was.
"Sit down please." I told him. He sat down, glad to no longer be dragged down by the girl affixed to him. She promptly clambered onto his lap and began to try to plant kisses on his cheeks, while he sat fending her off. She was oblivious to him and merely shifted herself.
This was something I felt confident about. I could deal with this absolute terror. I was well liked, but being old and not appealing in this way was a definite blessing,
"She's hampering my wand use." Severeus hissed. "And all the other teachers are far too amused to aid me in any way." I chuckled while he glared back at me.
I took out my wand and yelled "DECONFUZZLIFY!" Okay, no reaction. She was acting of her own free will, which was both good and bad. Good because that meant students were not responsible for this, but bad because it made things harder to deal with.
Once again I pointed my want. This time I yelled out "VARNISHIFY!"
Immediately the room smelled of shoe-polish and Snape stood there shaking, covered from head to toe in magical varnish.
"Whoops." I said happily. "It was my mistake."
I redid the spell. "VANISHIFY!"
Immediately both Snape and the girl vanished.
"Oh dear, oh dear." I said to myself.
"Filch?" I yelled. "I did you know what again!"
Filch dashed into my office looking smug,
"I accidentally vanished Snape, he should be somewhere in the school with a blond-haired girl." I told him.
~*Harry's POV*~
"OY!" shouted Ron. "Harry!"
"What." I said.
"They found Snape."
"Huh . . ?" What about finding Snape. Was I supposed to care? I mean . . .
"Stuffed inside a broom closet." He sniggers. "Got rid of the fangirl, but he's covered in dust."
Fred and George dashed by. 'Worked better than we thought!" they both said. "And Snape's memory has been wiped by Dumbledore so he doesn't remember anything, Dumbledore 'accidentally' wiped too much." Fred told me and Ron.
"Can't figure out why he has purple hair" said George. "Really confused."
"Malfoy is next." Said Fred.
"When that nasty little git enters the classroom both he and Snape are going to be covered in buckets of algae from . . ."
At that moment Snape walked down the corridor. Fred looked up. 'What is up with him?" he asked. Snape was laughing.
"Hello." He said to George. "Like my new hair?" He danced a bit.
"Are you okay sir?" I asked.
"Oh yes fine, Mr. Pottit."
"Memory wipe." Hissed Fred. "Obviously affected more than Dumbledore realized . . ."
"Let's see how much." George said to me, obviously thinking of something to irritate Snape with.
"OY SNAPEYBOY!" shouted George. "DRACO MALFOY IS AN UGLY GIT!"
Snape nodded to George in an agreeable manner. He then looked at George like he and George were long lost cousins. He gave him a big hug, while we all stared at Snape, all of us in total shock.
"I know he is, his father's a big rich spoiled pig too." He bounced up and down uncharacteristically. "I stuffed Draco into the girl's toilet, the one where Moaning Myrtle haunts. Last I saw him he was trying to get himself out while she screamed at him."
I had nothing to say to this, and not even one of the twins could speak. Snape gave a victorious laugh, giggled suddenly and informed us in a very secretive voice "I told Voldemort he could go boil his ugly head, I wasn't working for him anymore."