===DISCAIMERS===
(1) The characters in this story are based on J.R.R. Tolkein's Lord of the Rings and Nickelodeon's Spongebob Squarepants. They are being used for the purposes of fan fiction and we are in no way making a profit off of them. We are making a profit off of the illegal hidden camera movies, however.
(2) If you feel that you must send us an e-mail in response to the following story, we will print out your message and lick it, because we love inkjet ink.
(3) Would you like an eggplant smoothie?
(4) This story was written by two demented idiots. One of the idiots would like to make it known that this story in no way is a show of disrespect of J.R.R. Tolkein or the fine writers in this fanfic community. The other doesn't care.
(5) Special thanks to somebody else for coming up with the first line of the theme song. You know who you are!
===END DISCLAIMERS===
Author's note:
We are adding this new chapter a few months after our original tale of humor, misery and woe debuted on Fanfiction.net. We expected that the online J.R.R. Tolkein fan base would embrace this story and call it their own. However, we were apparently mistaken. We received only one review, and it did not contain any constructive criticism whatsoever.
We would just like to warn you all that J.R.R. Tolkein is, indeed, an anagram for "SATAN, THE DEVIL." Okay, it doesn't work out perfectly, but LEGOLAS backwards is SALOGEL, and you just KNOW that that doesn't not sound evil.*
And so, without further nonsense, we post the next chapter of this story, in the hopes that perhaps some of you will learn to appreciate the effort that went into creating this masterwork of fan fiction.
*One of the two people involved with this (the one who's ID is being used to post this fic) would like to mention that she had nothing to do with this author's note. When she does get around to posting serious fics, she would appreciate it if you disregarded all negative tendencies she has displayed toward Tolkein, as these did not originate from her but from her co-conspirator.
CHAPTER TWO: SQUIDRON IS TAKEN DOWN BY SALOGEL
In the last installment, it was suggested that Squidron had corrupted all of Hobbiton-Bottom with his clarinet music. This is only half true, or perhaps two-thirds true, well, okay, it is about nine-tenths true. But there was one section of Hobbiton-Bottom which his music could not reach: the realm of the shelf-fish, Murkreef, where Salogel, the most handsome and manly shelf-fish lived.
Salogel had a huge fan base due to the fact that he was so handsome and manly, and therefore, had a rather large army of screaming teenage girl- fish to back him up in any fight he chose to engage himself in. With this in mind, when he received the news that Hobbiton-Bottom had been corrupted and that Frodo and Sam had failed their mission, he had no other choice but to take drastic action.
He logged onto the Aquanet and created a website which would send his female fans nude photos of himself in exchange for them backing him up in the "Quest to save Hobbiton-Bottom" army. He soon had a backing of thousands, each girl-fish armed with a hair dryer and an autographed photo with which to induce paper cuts.
And so, the battle of Shellanor Fields began. Squidron, even with his clarinet, was powerless to stop the teenage girl-fish. Their screaming drowned out the music, and Salogal was victorious, inheriting all of Hobbiton-Bottom and its suburbs.
The end.
(1) The characters in this story are based on J.R.R. Tolkein's Lord of the Rings and Nickelodeon's Spongebob Squarepants. They are being used for the purposes of fan fiction and we are in no way making a profit off of them. We are making a profit off of the illegal hidden camera movies, however.
(2) If you feel that you must send us an e-mail in response to the following story, we will print out your message and lick it, because we love inkjet ink.
(3) Would you like an eggplant smoothie?
(4) This story was written by two demented idiots. One of the idiots would like to make it known that this story in no way is a show of disrespect of J.R.R. Tolkein or the fine writers in this fanfic community. The other doesn't care.
(5) Special thanks to somebody else for coming up with the first line of the theme song. You know who you are!
===END DISCLAIMERS===
Author's note:
We are adding this new chapter a few months after our original tale of humor, misery and woe debuted on Fanfiction.net. We expected that the online J.R.R. Tolkein fan base would embrace this story and call it their own. However, we were apparently mistaken. We received only one review, and it did not contain any constructive criticism whatsoever.
We would just like to warn you all that J.R.R. Tolkein is, indeed, an anagram for "SATAN, THE DEVIL." Okay, it doesn't work out perfectly, but LEGOLAS backwards is SALOGEL, and you just KNOW that that doesn't not sound evil.*
And so, without further nonsense, we post the next chapter of this story, in the hopes that perhaps some of you will learn to appreciate the effort that went into creating this masterwork of fan fiction.
*One of the two people involved with this (the one who's ID is being used to post this fic) would like to mention that she had nothing to do with this author's note. When she does get around to posting serious fics, she would appreciate it if you disregarded all negative tendencies she has displayed toward Tolkein, as these did not originate from her but from her co-conspirator.
CHAPTER TWO: SQUIDRON IS TAKEN DOWN BY SALOGEL
In the last installment, it was suggested that Squidron had corrupted all of Hobbiton-Bottom with his clarinet music. This is only half true, or perhaps two-thirds true, well, okay, it is about nine-tenths true. But there was one section of Hobbiton-Bottom which his music could not reach: the realm of the shelf-fish, Murkreef, where Salogel, the most handsome and manly shelf-fish lived.
Salogel had a huge fan base due to the fact that he was so handsome and manly, and therefore, had a rather large army of screaming teenage girl- fish to back him up in any fight he chose to engage himself in. With this in mind, when he received the news that Hobbiton-Bottom had been corrupted and that Frodo and Sam had failed their mission, he had no other choice but to take drastic action.
He logged onto the Aquanet and created a website which would send his female fans nude photos of himself in exchange for them backing him up in the "Quest to save Hobbiton-Bottom" army. He soon had a backing of thousands, each girl-fish armed with a hair dryer and an autographed photo with which to induce paper cuts.
And so, the battle of Shellanor Fields began. Squidron, even with his clarinet, was powerless to stop the teenage girl-fish. Their screaming drowned out the music, and Salogal was victorious, inheriting all of Hobbiton-Bottom and its suburbs.
The end.