Chapter 2
The Professor's mind was obviously not on the discussion at the dinner table, and Ororo finally called him on it. He sighed as he felt Scott's troubled and grieving mind slip further and further away from his home. He wished he could have done more for Scott while he was here, but Xavier also knew that this vacation was very important for Scott's healing. Finally turning to face Storm, Logan and Kurt, he spoke to them at the same time he spoke to the students in their minds.
Children, I have an announcement to make.
The dining hall instantly fell silent as various conversations screeched to a halt.
I know this last week has been hard for all of us. I appreciate the strength you have all shown. I also appreciate the help you have given to me, Scott and the other teachers, and I hope that you all feel comfortable coming to talk to us with your troubles.
I'm sure you all know that this time has been exceptionally hard for Scott. As such, he and I have discussed it, and we feel that it would be best if he took some time off. He has left just now, and I do not know when he will be returning.
The other teachers and I have not yet determined what we will do about Scott's classes, but I trust all of you will be patient until we have done so. I also trust you will help the teacher assigned to fill in for him to fit in and catch up to his lesson plan.
I am taking the time to tell all of you this now because I do not want there to be any whispers, gossip or speculation on any of this. Thank you for your attention; please feel free to finish your meals.
The students sat in stunned silence for a few seconds before cautiously returning to their food and conversations. But dinner was more subdued, as all of the students did not know how to deal with the idea that Scott - the leader of the X-men, their teacher and, most importantly, the one person everyone would agree was the most stable, constant and comforting presence at Westchester- was gone. Possibly for weeks. Possibly even longer than that. This, on top of Jean's death, was too much for many of the students to handle.
After the Professor's announcement, Ororo turned to him with a shocked expression on her face.
"Scott...left?"
"Yes, Ororo. He and I both felt that some time off was appropriate."
"Oh, I agree. But I just wish he didn't have to leave for that. I feel like I owe it to Jean to keep an eye on him - make sure he's alright."
"He'll be fine, Ro. He's a strong boy; it'll just take some time."
* * *
The first night away from the school, Scott spent in New York. He hadn't wanted to drive too far from Westchester on the first day. Primarily because he still wasn't sure where he wanted to go. The only problem was that everywhere he looked were reminders of Jean. He didn't know if there was anywhere he could travel that was far enough away that it didn't have physical reminders of her. Finally giving up, he returned to his hotel and went to bed. It was 7:00.
After yet another sleepless night of tossing himself around the bed, Scott woke up determined to escape from his endless nightmare. He checked out of the hall, climbed into the BMW and drove toward the Interstate. He picked a random direction and just drove, letting the road take him where it wanted to.
As cities turned to suburbs, and as suburbs turned to open countryside and farms, the sun slowly made its way across the sky. Night fell, but Scott couldn't handle thinking about another sleepless night of pain. He kept driving and driving. Minutes turned to hours, and soon the sun rose again for another trek across the blue sky. And still Scott kept driving. Obviously, he had to stop for gas a few times, and even remembered to eat once. If he had been thinking clearly, he could've felt the lack of sleep and nourishment catching up with him. He would have noticed his head starting to droop, and his eyes getting heavier. But he didn't notice. The only thing he could still feel was the pain in his heart.
As the second night fell around him, the lights of the oncoming cars started to blur together, and they began to bother his sensitive eyes. He closed them for what he thought was a second, only to open them to the sound of horns blaring. This time, when he saw the headlights, they were directly in front of him. It was too late to do anything. He slammed on his brakes; the tires squealed. Clenching his eyes tight right before the impact, he felt the BMW slam into the large SUV. The last thought that went through his head was one of relief. He would soon be with Jean.
* * *
Dr. Dave Starr, well into his tenth hour on call, looked up from the file he was looking at as two ambulances screamed to a stop right outside the emergency room doors. Dropping the file, he grabbed his stethoscope and ran to the doors, right behind several of his co-workers.
The paramedics were hopping out of the vehicle by the time the doctors and nurses reached them. The lead paramedic started to shout out vitals, while her partner quickly told Dave what happened.
"BMW meets SUV. Not a pretty sight, I can assure you. This is Mr. BMW. Major trauma to the head, two broken ribs and internal bleeding. The SUV is in Jim's unit." Dave glanced over to the second ambulance to see three other doctors over there. That settled it - he'd stay with Mr. BMW.
Belting out orders to the nurses running on the other side of the gurney, Dave quickly thought about different procedures, and just as quickly discarded them.
"Jack!" The nurse next to him perked up, waiting for his next orders. "There's too much blood around the forehead - take these damn sunglasses off. What the hell was he doing wearing sunglasses at this time of day. Maybe that's what caused the accident."
Jack quickly did as asked. Once the glasses were off, he wiped down the patient's forehead and nose area, where most of the blood was. And Dave went back to work.
* * *
The door of the exam room that Dave was desperately trying to sleep in muffled the sounds of a busy emergency room. But it was no use – Dave knew he wouldn't be able to get any sleep, which is why it was no surprise when Jack opened the door and poked his head into the room. He was met with a growl from the bed, as Dave didn't even bother to lift his head up to look at the intruder.
"What?"
"Mr. BMW is coming around. I thought you'd like to be there for that."
Dave didn't respond right away, and for a second, Jack was concerned that he had fallen back asleep.
"Dave?"
Dave bolted up into a sitting position.
"Yep, yep. I'm coming." He furiously rubbed his eyes, swung his legs over the side of the bed and went back to work.
Dave and Jack entered the room where Mr. BMW was at the same time. The patient tossed his head back and forth, made several moaning sounds, and, finally, opened his eyes. He was obviously confused and looked at the two hospital staff members with apprehension.
"What happened?" Mr. BMW's voice was scratchy and pain-filled. Jack winced, feeling sorry for their patient.
Dave stepped to the right side of the bed and looked down at the patient. On the way, he grabbed his chart to have something to hold onto. Even after a few years of this kind of stuff, Dave was still uncertain of his bedside manner, and he liked having something to putz with.
"Hello, sir. You were in a car accident. Can you remember anything?" A look of terror washed over Mr. BMW's face, as his hands unconsciously clutched at the bed sheet.
"No. I can't remember anything."
"Are you serious?" Mr. BMW nodded his head, tears of fear filling his eyes. Jack and Dave looked at each other.
"I'll call Psych," Jack said, quickly leaving the room. Anger filled Dave at the nurse's hasty reaction, especially when the patient looked at him, pleading him with his eyes and fear in his voice.
"I'm not crazy."
"Of course not, sir. Psych assists us with cases like this, as well. They will consult with our neurology experts to determine the best way to help you regain your memory." The patient sighed, relaxing slightly. Dave went over to the counter and started to look at the possessions that were brought in with the patient.
"I'm going to see if you had any identification on you. Unfortunately, your car started on fire shortly after the accident, so the rescue workers could not salvage all of you belongings." As the doctor had no luck with pocket after pocket, he started to feel discouraged that he would find anything to help the poor man. When the search was over, he found a wallet full of money, but no ID, a receipt from a McDonalds and some change.
Dave turned to face the patient, holding out his few possessions helplessly. "Sorry. No luck." The patient deflated, and he obviously started racking his brain for memories again. A knock at the door announced Jack's return. The lead psychologist and his current student followed the nurse into the room.
"Dr. Starr." Dr. Thimmons reached out to shake his hand, then turned to introduce his student. "This is Eve Crawford. I believe she'll be on her E.R. rotation next month." He looked to the younger girl for confirmation, which she provided with a slight nod of her head and a smile at Dave. All three doctors turned to the patient, who was watching them interact.
"Dr. Thimmons... Eve. This young man was in a car accident last night. His primary injuries were to his head, which may be the cause of his current state."
Dr. Thimmons spent a few seconds looking at the patient's chart to familiarize himself with the patient and to develop a plan for the best way to interview him. Finally, he pulled one of the chairs over to the bedside, sat down and smiled at the patient. Eve whipped out a pad of paper and pen, poised to take notes.
"Hi, there."
The patient just stared at the doctor, not knowing how to act, what to say.
"So, Dr. Starr here says that you don't remember anything. Even your name?"
"No. Nothing."
"Hmmm. What about facts? Can you tell me what month it is? Who the President is?"
"May. Bush, Jr."
Dr. Thimmons leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs, obviously pleased at his answers.
"Good. Good. You know some things, just not the important things. Do you know how old you are? What you do? You drove a BMW. How did you afford that?"
His eyes scrunched up, fighting back tears of frustration, as he roughly shook his head.
"I don't know."
"Okay. Let's move on for now. Now, you can stay in the hospital while you heal. Dr. Starr, is there any family we can call to care for him and expose him to familiar places and people - hopefully, that will jumpstart his memory."
Dave pursed his lips, shaking his head no.
"Hmm. Don't worry about it right now. Can you do something for me? I want to be able to call you something. Can you just clear your mind and tell me the first name that comes to mind. Now that might be your real name and it might not be. But I'm going to let you determine that, ok?"
The patient took a deep breath, closed his eyes and leaned back against his pillow. He continued to breath deeply as he tried to push all of his worry over to one side of his mind.
Jean.
No! That can't be my name. That's a girl's name. I may not know who I am, but I'm definitely not a girl!
Another deep breath.
Cyclops.
CYCLOPS!! Those are mythical creatures. If I told them that I wanted to be called Cyclops, they really would think I'm crazy! My God.
A slight shake of the head and two more breaths.
"Come on now. The first name that pops into your head."
Logan? I feel hatred toward that name. But a lot of people hate their names. Logan. Logan. Hmm. It's better than my first two."
"Logan."
"Okay, Logan. Open your eyes again. I want to talk about how we're going to handle this. With amnesia cases, it's not an exact science. We can't say for sure what's causing you to not remember anything. It could be the trauma to your head, but we don't know if your memory will return once you heal. For many people, it's a long, hard healing process. There may be some memories that you never get back. And some that you wished you didn't regain. Do you think you can handle that?"
Logan nodded, trying not to show his fear in his eyes.
"I'm sad that we don't have any information to remind you with, or people or a home for that matter. But don't let that discourage you. As for right now, Eve and I will find a place for you to stay by the time the hospital decides to release you. I think now you should rest. You still have a bit of healing to do."
Logan watched as Dr. Thimmons, Dr. Starr and Jack left the room. Eve was the last to leave. When she reached the door, she turned back to him and smile.
"Don't worry, Logan. We'll help you."
His heart fluttered as she left, and he smiled as well. Well, if Thimmons asks me what I look for in a girl, I'll at least be able to answer that.
The lights, now dim, faded even more as his eyes closed. The pain killers going through his system were lulling him into that place between sleep and dreaming. Images of people fighting, of a woman controlling the lightning, of a flood boring down on him - they all filled his mind, and he wondered again if he really was crazy. Then he couldn't remember anymore; sleep took him.
* * *
Logan's injuries caused him to sleep most of the next few days, as his body desperately tried to recover from its ordeal. When he wasn't sleeping, Eve and Dr. Thimmons took turns helping him to try and remember his past. The police recovered a New York license plate, and he remembered he was from Westchester. But there were no Logans reported missing, and he didn't match the description of anyone who had been reported. He also had no explanation for why he was so far from home.
One flash in his brain made him think that maybe he was a schoolteacher. That possible memory seemed so real - and so more realistic than the other memories going through his head...the ones he could never tell the doctors about. However, there was no evidence for this memory either. And that certainly didn't explain how he could afford to drive a BMW.
All in all, Logan was getting very frustrated. And the endless questions from Eve's mouth during the current session were certainly not helping. Not being able to take it anymore, he released all of his fear and tension out on her.
"Will you just SHUT UP already? I don't know. I don't know anything. Just leave me ALONE!" Eve recoiled as if she had been slapped, and Logan immediately felt sorry. He liked Eve, and not just because she was so pretty. She treated him differently than Thimmons. The older doctor acted as if he was a problem to be solved, whereas Eve cared more for how he felt about everything.
He sighed, and looked away. She started to gather up her notes.
"I think we should maybe be done for today."
"Look. I'm sorry. I just don't know what I'm going to do."
"It's okay." She stood and headed to the door. Her hand was on the knob when Logan spoke again.
"Eve?" His voice was so quiet and scared that she thought she imagined it at first. Turning around, she was struck by how young he looked. He raised his eyes to meet hers, and she could see the fear of rejection in them.
"Could you maybe tell me a little bit about you. I would like to know you, and it might make me feel better to have a conversation with someone who knows their past."
Eve smiled and headed back to the chair she had been sitting in. She put her notes down on the floor next to him and scooted her chair closer to him than she usually sat.
"What would you like to know?" He smiled at her, and it reminded her of the popular, pretty boys of her high school. Like back then, she didn't know how to respond and blushed instead. She cast her eyes down, ashamed of her reaction. She berated herself in her mind. He's a patient, Eve. Moreover, he might not even be available!
"Everything."
"Well...uh, I grew up in a small town about twenty minutes from here. I have two brothers, one older and one younger. Billy acts like he's older than me, too, and they take great pride in being overprotective." Logan laughed at that, which relaxed Eve. She leaned forward in her chair and continued.
"My mom is a lawyer, and Dad's an accountant. They are both very supportive of me, which helps with all the work I've had to do lately. Ummm. I can't say that I'm one of those people who 'always knew they wanted to be a doctor'. But I don't regret my choice.
I'll be done with this rotation soon, then the E.R. rotation, and then I'm done with my schooling. I don't know where I'll be going after that. I'd like to stay here. The people are wonderful and so knowledgeable. And plus, it's close to my family. We're a very tight bunch. We have dinner together once a week, and Billy still lives there - he's a senior in high school. There was a big gap between us.
Ummm. I only have a few really close friends. My friend Lisa is my best friend. She's also studying medicine. We don't go out a lot. And...uh. The last boyfriend I had was about a year and a half ago. My life isn't really conducive to that kind of thing." Her face flamed in embarrassment talking about her love life. Or lack thereof. She didn't want him to see how completely smitten she was with him. It was already making it difficult to work with him, but she couldn't ask Thimmons to take her off the case without a good reason, and there was no way she'd tell him the truth. It was just so unprofessional.
She was afraid to look up and meet his eyes until she gained control of herself again. When she finally did, she found him staring at her with an unreadable expression on his face. His eyes held hers for a few seconds with a deep intensity that was almost a little frightening, yet also set her heart racing. Shame filled her again, and she was the first to look away.
"Sorry, Logan. It's time for me to go. Rest well; I'll see you tomorrow night."
She was already out the door and almost had it closed by the time he said good night.