Chapter 9
Scott slept soundly in the hospital bed, while Eve tried to get comfortable in the chair. She could have just gone home, but she would rather be with Scott then at an apartment full of Logan's things. Seeing reminders of their life together would be too much for her to handle. So she stayed here, with him, torn between wanting to hear him say it was over already and hoping that he never did.
So she sat in the chair, sleep eluding her as she thought of all the information Scott had told her. The revelation that he was a mutant did not come as that big of a shock after the cafeteria incident. Listening to him tell stories about the mutant children he taught made her smile; he was such a good, devoted teacher. He told her a little bit about the X-Men, but he also made it clear that it was not his story alone to tell. The one topic they didn't touch was Dr.Grey, but Eve had a feeling that Scott knew she knew about his girlfriend.
However, after listening to the stories about the life of Scott Summers, Eve didn't know if that really mattered anymore. Scott wouldn't be leaving her for another woman; he would be leaving his temporary life to go back to the one that brought him so much joy. Listening to him talk about teaching, about being a part of an integral team and about being around so many amazing people, Eve could tell that that was a life he would never willingly abandon for anything - not even a girl. Eve now knew it would be horrendously unfair to make him do so, and now, in the privacy of the night, she let the tears come. She cried for the death of a relationship, but thanked God that she had the opportunity to have it.
Unfortunately, the sobs, although she tried to keep them quiet, were loud enough to wake the light sleeper in the bed next to her. She should have remembered he woke up at the tiniest sound.
"Eve?" His whisper sounded so tired, and she berated herself for waking him up when she knew he needed the rest.
"I'm sorry. Don't worry about me; just go back to sleep."
"Don't be silly." Scott pulled himself up to a sitting position and ran a hand through his hair. "What's wrong?"
Eve couldn't bring herself to say anything. The last thing she wanted to do was make him feel guilty. But as she racked her brain for something else to say, he answered his own question.
"It's about me remembering, isn't it? You're crying because you think I'm going to go home."
Home. Meaning Westchester... Well, I guess that takes care of any dreams I might have had about him choosing to stay here, no matter how ridiculous those dreams were.
When Eve didn't answer, Scott sighed, knowing he had guessed correctly. He scooted over on the bed and patted the empty spot he had made. Reluctantly, she crawled up onto the bed next to him. She couldn't bring herself to stop him when he pulled her into his arms. She was afraid that this was the last time he'd ever hold her, and she wanted to enjoy it, even if she knew the memory would only bring her pain later.
"Eve." He whispered into her ear, the breath falling on her neck a comforting, warm caress. "I'm so sorry that this all had to happen. In a way, I almost wish I had never remembered. It would have made things so much easier."
"How are they hard? You can go back to your old life now. Your team and your students."
"It's hard because I don't know if that's what I want anymore. My life here...with you...is amazing. I was happy doing things I never got the chance to do at home. I lived a normal life with a wonderful girlfriend. In Westchester, I don't have the luxury to be me. I'm either Cyclops - leader of the X-Men, risking my life to bring peace to the area and acceptance to mutants everywhere. Or I'm Scott Summers - teacher at Xavier's, guy with stick-up my ass making sure all the students learn not only how to do algebra, but also how to use their powers and to make sure that those powers don't define who they are. I won't lie; I love that life. But I love this life, too."
"So what does that mean?" Scott sighed again, and Eve could almost feel the concern racking his body.
"It means...that the Professor gave me a choice. He said it was up to me which life I wanted to lead, and I don't know which one I want." Joy soared through Eve's heart just at the mere thought that the choice wasn't so easy for him to make. Her fears that he would drop her, and their life together, faster than humanly possible were unfounded. And even though she knew that didn't mean that he'd ultimately choose her, it was a possibility.
But she needed to know. They beat around the bush for too long.
"And wh-what about Jean?" Scott's body tensed underneath hers, and for a moment she thought he wouldn't answer. "Ah..." Scott cleared his throat nervously. "Jean and I dated in my old life. We were pretty much well on our way to marriage. I don't know where we stand now. A lot can happen in five months." Eve's heart constricted painfully despite the hope inherent in his last statement. But she soldiered on, desperate to know everything about this man she, in many ways, just met. And that included his experiences with and feelings for his almost fiancée.
"Will you tell me about her?" Scott cleared his throat again and started to talk in a very monotone voice. Eve was unsure whose benefit it was for that he tried to keep all emotion out of his story, but she ignored that for now and concentrated on his words.
"Jean and I were two of the Professor's first students..."
* * *
Scott had fallen asleep again after his story was finished. The shock of remembering his past as well as the sedative still in his system were too much for his body to handle. Eve remained in his arms throughout the story, and lay there now watching him sleep and thinking about everything he had told her. She had cried for him when he spoke of Jean's death, was angry for him about Logan and Jean's obvious attraction to him and felt his fear when he talked about his inability to stop himself from attacking her with his gift at Alkali Lake.
She laid in his arms now, trying to figure out why she was so empathetic toward his relationship with Jean, when she had expected to be jealous and upset and scared and sad. Finally, an explanation came to her. She cared about Jean, and about their relationship, because she loved Scott. She had loved Logan, and that had transferred over to Scott, especially after she had learned about the kind of man he was. She saw how much that relationship meant to Scott, and, therefore, it meant just as much to her - even if it turned out that Jean meant more to Scott than Eve did.
When this realization dawned on her, she smiled. Now, knowing that she could live with whatever decision Scott made, she decided to stop worrying about it so much. Snuggling into his embrace and wrapping her arms around his stomach, she settled down, hoping to get a few hours of sleep before she had to get back to work.
But that, like so many other things, didn't happen as planned. Hearing the door open, Eve jumped, turning to face the intruder.
"Jean!" The other woman didn't say anything; she was apparently too shocked to do so. Almost dropping the bag of things she was holding, she took an involuntary step backward. Eve, realizing the position she was in, tried to get off the bed, but Scott's arms tightened around her and he groaned, waking up.
"What's wrong?'
"Let me up!" He released her from his embrace and turned toward the door. The bandages around his eyes didn't allow him to see Jean's shocked and hurt expression, and Eve was thoroughly grateful for that. Unfortunately, Jean finally composed herself.
"Hello, Scott."
"J-Jean!" He sat bolt upright in bed, fear entering his voice.
Eve didn't know what to do, looking back and forth between her boyfriend and his girlfriend. "Uh- uh. I'll leave you two alone." With one last look at Scott, she skirted around Jean and out the door, her heart beating a mile a minute.
* * *
Jean stood stock still as Eve walked past her. She felt that if she moved even a little bit, she would end up running out of the room. Taking a deep breath, she tried to remember what the Professor told her this morning.
Jean, Scott loves you. He's always loved you. But the most special thing about your relationship is the way you care for each other's happiness.
Today, when you see him, remember how much his happiness means to you. Don't make this choice harder for him. Just be there for him, no matter what. Show him once again how much you love him, even if that means your love might not be enough for him anymore.
Fighting back the tears, Jean walked over to his bed, prepared to do whatever he asked of her. Sitting down, she reached out to briefly squeeze his hand. A small vindictive part of her felt happy at his obvious discomfiture, but she quickly repressed that.
"Hi, Scott. I brought your visor, if you want to take the bandages off."
"Uh. Thanks, Jean." She could tell that his heart was racing, and she knew he would be glad that the bandages covered how red his face was. She finally took pity on him.
"Scott. The Professor told me about Eve. You don't have to worry about it. I'm not mad." Just scared that you're going to leave me.
"I-I'm sorry."
"It's okay. You didn't know who you were. And you thought I was dead." Jean stopped, trying to muster the courage to tell him about Logan. She figured he should know about it. He deserved to know about it, even if that affected his decision.
"Scott, while you were gone. I was devastated. I thought you were dead, and I felt dead inside, too. Eventually...I started to heal, mainly because I talked a lot...with Logan." Her heart broke as she saw him tense up. She felt horrible that it bothered him, but she didn't regret it. Logan helped her through a terrible time, and she would not apologize for her feelings. But that didn't mean she wouldn't cry every day if he left her because of her relationship with a man he hated.
"We weren't together." He visibly relaxed at her assurance. "But we were close. W-we only kissed. But...I did have some feelings for him."
He sighed. "I had- have- feelings for Eve. And we did a lot more than kiss." Jealousy raged through Jean. "You thought I was dead. Don't worry about it. I'm glad that Logan could help you through it, and truth be told...he's...not...that bad of a guy. He helped me a lot that first week before I left Westchester."
"Logan is a good guy. But he doesn't hold a candle to you." She leaned forward for a kiss, which he gave readily, their mouths instinctively finding each other. "I love you so much, Scott. I just want you to be happy."
"So the Professor told you he was giving me a choice."
"It's not something the Professor can give you, Scott. It's what you deserve. But, yes, he told me. And we're leaving for home today, to give you time to make that choice." Standing up, she placed Scott's glasses and one of the extra communicators in his hands. She walked to the door. A war raged in her heart. She promised the Professor she wouldn't try to persuade him at all, but she didn't want to leave without saying it - especially since she might never be able to say it again.
"I love you, Scott." She walked out, unable to wait to see if he would answer.
* * *
As Ororo lifted the plane off the ground, Jean finally broke. Tears streamed down her face, and sobs shook her body as she tried to repress them. She realized that it was ridiculous, but she felt like the farther away she traveled from Scott, the more her heart stretched. It was like it was trying to stay with Scott, but the rest of her body wouldn't let it. For the first time since she decided to accept his death, she truly felt alone. She cried a little harder when she felt Logan sit next to her and rub her back.
"I'm so sorry, Logan." Her voice hitched over her tears, and she knew she sounded like a wreck.
"Shh. Shh. I know. I don't care about that. I just want you to be happy." Logan looked up to see if any of the others were listening to their conversation. When he saw that they weren't, he lifted her chin with a finger and looked into her eyes. "Just tell me what you want me to do. Do you want me to leave?"
"No...no... Don't leave because of this. I mean, we don't even know what Scott's going to do." Logan clenched his jaw and looked away.
"I don't want to be anyone's second choice."
"How can you say that? I care about you; I do!" Jean sighed. "But that doesn't matter anymore. I...I'm sorry, Logan. I won't be with you even if Scott doesn't choose me. I chose him a long time ago, and it would be unfair to you, unfair to my love for him and unfair to my heart to deny that. I will love him forever, no matter what he chooses. But that doesn't mean that you should go. Westchester is your home now. You should only leave when and if you want to."
Logan cleared his throat, obviously trying to stop from crying. "Thank you for telling me the truth. And it doesn't come as that big of a surprise to me. I've always known that you loved the kid. I was just kidding myself that you would ever really be with me if you actually had the choice. You deserve what you need to be happy, and if Scott doesn't choose to give that to you, then he's a bigger jackass than I accuse him of being."
Logan sighed and stood up to head back to the front of the plane. He looked back at Jean's tear-streaked face and mustered the strength to give her a smile. "I won't leave Westchester. I'll always be here if you ever need a shoulder to cry on. Or whatever."