Chapter 12
Scott was awake, out of bed and halfway dressed into his battle gear until he realized that he wasn't sure why. Shaking the sleep out of his head, he realized the Professor must have called out to him and the rest of the X-Men. Reassured that he wasn't reacting to a nightmare, Scott finished dressing, made sure his visor was ready to go and quickly made his way to the hangar. He saw that he was the first one there and felt proud that he was still in top condition.
Hearing footsteps quickly making their way toward him, he turned to greet Jean, Ororo and Logan. The Professor was just a few feet behind them.
"I'm sorry to wake all of you up. I recently got a feeling that something was happening. I decided to check it out with Cerebo before alerting you. Apparently, Magneto and the rest of the Brotherhood have attacked in New York. I have already put the exact coordinates into the Blackbird's computer. Please go and try and stop whomever is still there, as well as clean things up."
"Of course, Professor."
On the plane, Scott took his seat at the controls with a great sense of homecoming. He had missed this ever since he remembered that he should be missing it. Being on a mission with his friends, flying this beauty, protecting innocent mutants and non-mutants from the Brotherhood. The joy in his heart at being on a mission only reaffirmed that he had made the right decision to return to Westchester. This was his home. This was his life.
But he still didn't know what to do about Eve. She was his life, too...
Shaking his head, he pushed those confusing thoughts away. It wouldn't do any of them any good if his mind wasn't on the mission at hand. Almost on autopilot, as if he hadn't been away from this for so long, he moved the basketball court covering the hangar, felt the plane shaking underneath him as its amazing power fought to be in the air where it belonged. Finally, they were in the night sky, slipping through clouds high above everyone else still asleep.
The flight did not take too long. Following the coordinates the Professor had given them, he and Ororo landed the plane down in an area just outside the main city. A large building that looked like an abandoned factory loomed in front of them, and Scott was almost sure that is where the members of the Brotherhood were holed up.
The X-Men quickly secured the plane and disembarked. Fanning out, they silently entered the building, instantly alert for any signs of life. When none were immediately apparent, Scott turned and indicated to his teammates that they should split up to consider searching. When he made sure they understood and had started on their way, Scott proceeded on his original path, a hand ready at the visor.
Although the building was large, Scott quickly determined that no one was in the section he searched. He made his way back toward where they had split up and saw Ororo waiting for him.
"Anything?"
"No one."
Scott sighed, worrying his lip with his teeth as he thought about what to do next. It hadn't been the first time they were too late to a location to find any of the Brotherhood, but Scott felt like he hadn't done enough for his first mission back. He wanted to fight - wanted to play the hero, be active, feel the adrenaline racing through his body. Lost in his impatience with the mission, he almost missed Logan's return and started when the other man spoke behind him.
"You guys find nothin' too?"
Scott was about to respond when the explosion and Jean's subsequent scream rang in both his ear and in his brain. He broke out in a dead run down the hallway she had taken, the others close on his heels. The cool-under-pressure Cyclops inside of him kept telling him to be cautious - whatever caused Jean to scream could hurt him as well if he ran blindly into it. But scared Scott overruled Cyclops, and all he could do was try to get to Jean as fast as he possibly could.
He finally turned the last corner and slid to a stop at the destruction that met him. The ceiling and walls at the end of the hall had collapsed - it looked like someone had placed bombs strategically along the hallway. A trap? Maybe...but Scott didn't care about that at the moment. He only cared about moving the rubble out of the way. With the three remaining X-men working together, it didn't take long at all to clear the debris away from Jean's battered, unconscious body.
He almost cried at the sight of her, and he was grateful for Ororo's presence. She immediately began to administer First Aid.
"I don't know. She needs more medical attention than I can give, but I think she's okay to move."
Scott and Logan carefully lifted her and walked slowly out to the plane. Once on board, they laid her down near the medical equipment they keep on board for disastrous missions like this one. Ororo continued to care for her, while Scott and Logan flew as fast as possible toward the mansion. The flight home seemed so much longer, and Scott ached to see the familiar lands and building - knowing that deep underground lay the equipment they needed to make Jean better. Finally they made it home, and Scott landed the plane in its hidden hangar faster than he ever had in his life.
He wasn't surprised to see the Professor waiting for them when the doors opened; he knew the Professor would have known that Jean was hurt. He was slightly surprised to see Eve, but soon realized that she was the only doctor here...at least the only one who was currently conscious. When they reached the hospital area, Eve ordered everyone away. Scott wanted to fight her on it, but he didn't have the strength. Ororo had to practically drag him away, as he kept looking back with a stricken expression on his face.
His heart ached so much thinking of Jean laying there hurt - possibly dying. Ever since he saw the wreckage in New York and knew that Jean was under it, he felt dead inside. He knew now that she was the one. He loved her so much, and now he might really lose her. It somehow seemed so much worse than when he thought she had died at Alkali Lake. At least then, he knew that she knew how he felt about her. Now, she could be dying without ever knowing that the love he had for her was stronger than death or amnesia. It was deeper than the love he felt for Eve, deeper than the love he felt for the students, for the rest of his teammates. She could die not knowing that, and he would never forgive himself.
* * *
It took Eve almost three hours to stabilize Jean. She wasn't out of the woods yet, but Scott had been allowed to come in and visit her. Now he was sitting at her bedside, oddly reminded of when she had been sitting by him in the hospital so recently. He had never felt so useless and afraid as he did right now, looking at the tubes connected to her and keeping her alive. The soft sounds of her breathing and the beep of the heart monitor were the only things comforting him enough that he didn't feel the need to start screaming and throwing things.
Sighing, he felt the ever present tears well up in his eyes, and he reached out to grab her hand, which was lying limp at her side. He turned it over and started running his fingers slowly over her palm. Clearing his throat, he finally started talking to her. And when he started, the words just kept coming.
"I'm sorry, Jean. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't be there to save you from this. I'm sorry you're in pain. I'm sorry I had to put you through the months when I was gone. I'm sorry I had to put you through everything that's happened since I got my memory back. I'm sorry about my love for Eve."
He sighed, feeling slightly guilty about the pain he knew he would be inflicting on Eve soon. He hated the thought of doing that to her, especially since he did love her and since she had helped him realize so many things about who he was. But he had finally realized that his love for her paled in comparison to what he had with Jean. He was meant to be with her, and he hoped this realization hadn't come too late.
"I love you so much, Jean. I don't tell you that as often as I should. I don't do a lot of things for you as often as I should. You deserve so much, and I thank God every day that you don't realize that you deserve more than I could ever give you."
The tears had started flowing, and he leaned forward to rest his forehead against her mattress. He clung hard to her hand as his other hand grabbed her bed sheets and balled them up in his fist. He no longer had the strength to speak, and now his pleas came out no louder than a whisper.
"Please come back to me, Jean. I can't do this without you. You are my life, my whole world. I love you, I love you, I love you..."
Sobbing now, he wasn't sure how long he stayed at her side. All he knew was that he woke up still lying face down on her mattress and feeling drained from the crying he had done. He sat up and rubbed furiously at his face. He slowly stood, feeling older than he ever felt in his life. He leaned forward to kiss her lightly on the forehead, released her hand and half-walked, half-stumbled upstairs to his room. Our room. Please...let it be our room again...
He flung himself onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling as if it had all the answers. Time seemed to stand still as he lay there, not noticing as the sun moved across the sky, forcing the shadows to move eerily across his room. He had no idea how long it had been since he had last seen anyone else besides Jean, or how long it had been since he had eaten. None of that really seemed to matter anymore. The only thing that mattered was lying downstairs, fighting for her life...which meant she was fighting for Scott's life, too.
A knock interrupted his brooding. He slowly turned to face the door, but didn't have the strength to shout out to the person waiting outside. He didn't know if he even wanted to see whoever it was. But they seemed to not care that he hadn't invited them in, as the doorknob turned and the door creaked open.
Eve stuck her head in the doorway, caught his eye and smiled. Scott didn't say anything, but she still came in, closed the door and sat at his side.
"How are you doing?"
Scott sighed. "Not good."
"I figured. But she's going to be fine. And so are you." She reached out to squeeze his hand, smiling brightly to hide the tears in her eyes. "And so are the both of you."
Scott pushed himself to his elbows, confused at her last statement.
"As soon as Jean wakes up, I'm going to go home." Scott's eyes met hers, and she could see the guilt and pain tearing him up inside. The tears threatened to overflow. She hated herself for being so weak, but couldn't stop herself from leaning forward and giving him one last kiss.
"I can see how much you love her, and how much she loves you. And I'm happy for the both of you. You are both amazing and deserve to be with each other. I knew it all along, but I came with you here because I didn't have the strength to give you up yet."
She sniffed, and Scott pulled her forward into his arms, offering her comfort for the last time.
"I knew you would choose her. You never stopped choosing her - even when you didn't remember her. And I don't blame you for it. You would have to be insane not to love her."
"I love you too, you know." Eve smiled and snuggled up closer to him, trying to burn the feel of his body and the sounds of those beautiful words coming out of his mouth into her memory. She would never love anyone like she loved him, but she knew he would never love anyone like he loved Jean. In a way, she had always known that their relationship would never last, but that didn't mean it wasn't killing her inside.
"A part of me wishes I could hate the both of you. But I can't. You are my best friend. And a person can't help but love Jean."
"A part of me wishes I could have remained Logan forever. He had a great future ahead of him."
"You know it."
They laughed, and both knew that they would get past this pain.
"I owe you so much, Eve. You gave me a life when I needed one."
"I could say the same to you."
* * *
The next day, Jean woke up. Eve, who had already packed her bags, watched from the door as Scott went in to talk to her. Seeing the smiles on both of their faces was the glue that bound the first two pieces of her broken heart back together. She bent down to pick up her suitcase, and quickly walked out of the mansion and toward the cab waiting for her.
She didn't bother to say goodbye, but she didn't think Scott would mind. They had said their goodbyes. They had been saying their goodbyes ever since Logan had left and Scott had returned. Eve was sick of goodbyes.
And, besides...part of her thought that this was just the beginning of her relationship with Scott and Jean.
* * *
Jean looked up and saw Scott entering her room. A smile flitted across her face, quickly chased away by the pain racking her body.
"Hi, Scott."
"Hi, Jean. How are you feeling?"
"Like a building fell on me."
He smiled, but Jean could tell that his mind was on something else.
"What is it?"
Scott took a deep breath and started talking. "I'm sorry it took me so long...and that it took for you to be hurt for me to realize this, but I love you. You're the only person I'm ever meant to love. I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. Can you ever forgive me?" He met her eyes, and she could see the fear of rejection in them. It brought her back to when they were first dating and he obviously was scared every day that she would end it. "Can you ever take me back?"
She smiled.
"You had to ask?"
The End
A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I had a lot of fun writing this, and I hope you all enjoyed reading it!!