*Ah! I'm so sorry I neglected this fic! It's been so long. X_x I'm so sorry, I got hooked on Fruits Basket for a while… but I'm working on this now! Hopefully this will be the last chapter! I'm not sure, yet… I write these chapters on a whim so it all depends on how the end of this chapter turns out. ^_^; Please bare with me! I'm so sorry to everyone who reads this fic and was hoping for an update sooner! My poor fic. ;-; I still don't own Gravitation - so don't sue me! Oh and beware, this is a short chapter.. Er, come to think of it.. They're all pretty short, aren't they?*
Always - Chapter 6 - My Dreams…
"Why are they taking so long?!" Yuki asked, worried about the boy that had been rushed to the emergency room. Golden eyes half-lidded as he leaned against the wall, he slowly began to slip down to the floor as he covered his face with his hands, crystal-clear tears streaming rather freely from those eyes of his as he tried to assure himself that he'd be fine.
Hiroshi glanced at the clock, worried eyes focusing on the arms of the round object, past the reflection of himself in the glass case. 12:30am. …They'd been waiting for information regarding Shuichi for six hours now and so far all attempts to get them out of the hospital had been futile -- Yuki refused to leave… and Hiro was bent on staying by his side. Hiroshi was thinking… that maybe it was time to go home. "Yuki…" he started, averting his gaze to the man as he motioned for him to get up. But…even so, it was hard to keep himself from breaking down the way Yuki was. "…It's time to go home."
Yuki staggered to his feet, hands falling as his arms came to rest at his sides. Golden eyes fell shut as he slid towards the exit, Hiroshi following closely behind as he pushed through the double doors and stepped… for what seemed like the first time in his life… into a world that offered to rid himself of the pain of what he'd been through. And so he came to a dead stop, hanging his head as he cast his gaze to the ground before taking sudden interest in the necklace that hung about his neck.
Hiroshi stopped beside him, evergreen hues sparkling with the slight burden of tears as he placed a reassuring hand on the older mans shoulder. "Daijoubu… we all… knew this was going to happen… sooner or later, Yuki… At least he's not suffering…" He was taking this extremely well for someone who'd just technically lost his best friend… He seemed to be, anyway… deep inside his heart had smashed into billions of tiny pieces and set aflame.
"I can't… do this, Hiroshi… without him… I can't…"
"…I'll help you… He wouldn't want you upset, Yuki. He loved you more than anyone else, he wouldn't want you like this…"
"But I can't. Without him… I can't…"
. . . . .
Weeks had passed… since that day… and Yuki had barely gotten any sleep and he had barely eaten enough to get by. Plagued each night with dreams of his past lover, only to wake up… hoping to find the boy in his arms and see instead nothing. …Nothing but the boys scent. And he'd come to know Shuichi as the lover in his dreams, the one that made him forget the things of the past. The lover that haunted his fantasies but strayed from anything more.. Deserting him in the mornings only to join him once again as he closed his eyes.
"He hasn't even written anything since that day… don't you think it's time he's moved on?"
"He was too attached to that boy… He shouldn't have gotten involved with him."
"He should just forget about him… I hear the boy's best friend is trying to help him get through this."
"Yes, but it's been months now… I've heard they're doing a little more than crying on each other's shoulders!"
"They wouldn't!"
"I bet they would! You know how many lovers that Eiri man had even when he was with that boy! And that Nakano… he's the type to do something like that. Besides, there's no Bad Luck anymore… Unless they find a new vocalist… Why shouldn't the two play around?"
He'd pretended to ignore the rumors floating about the cities… everywhere he went, everywhere he dared to show his face… there were rumors. And those eyes that had only once been deadly had become murderous as they shimmered in the sunlight or the lights from the streetlamps, reflecting the hate he had for everyone around him. Everyone talking about him… and his Shuichi.
Hiroshi, who hadn't left his side for the first few weeks after Shuichi's death had slowly decided to back away, not wanting to witness the worst of Yuki's attitudes. But Yuki had enjoyed his company, the both of them had been able to help with the wounds in their hearts made by the passing of the bubble-gum pink haired youth. The both of them had grown close, even Tohma hadn't been able to pry them apart for a month or so. Of course, their relationship had gotten any stronger than one of brothers, despite what others may have thought.
Shuffling down the street, he shoved both hands in his pant pockets as he pushed through the bustling crowds. Why the hell were there so many people out now anyway? It was late… He didn't even know why he was out… Just to pass the time, perhaps. Or maybe just to wander around in hopes to find something he'd lost… though he couldn't remember anymore what it was.
Golden eyes downcast, he finally passed the crowd and slipped silently into the building, slowly making his way over to the elevator before a single digit was placed on one of the various buttons. A sigh escaped partially parted tiers as he ran the fingers of his right hand through his hair before he entered the small room as the door opened… only to wait rather impatiently for it to close. Why was it that when he wanted to go to bed that everything took longer? …He could already smell Shuichi.. He could already see him when he closed his eyes.
Leaning against the hard wall, his hand found it's way back to it's pocket before he exited the elevator, looking behind his shoulder once as if expecting to see something no one else saw. As if to hear something no one else could hear. Shuichi's laughter engulfed the elevator and the replay of their first kiss… The way the boy looked at him with those gorgeous violet eyes, the way he spoke… the way he smelled…
Yuki couldn't take it anymore. Sneering, he shuffled over to the door of his apartment, resting his forehead against the surface of his door as he fumbled with the door knob… A slight turn and push and the door was opened… Hadn't he locked it? Shrugging the thought off, having not wanting to think of such things, he slipped into his apartment.
"Ore no shigusa manete waratta kimi no koe mo omoi dasu… kimi to aruku yoru no shiin wa orenji iro fotogurafu…"
Yuki blinked, raising a brow at the sound of the familiar voice that ran throughout his apartment, golden eyes going wide as he slowly began to remember the song… Why was it playing? He didn't turn it on… and he hadn't been able to listen to Shuichi sing since… that day…
"Kage ni otoshita uso to… ore no wagamama o yurushita… kimi no namida ga ima demo…"
Why was it playing…? Yuki stood dumbfounded as he pushed the door shut, memories of the boy flooding his mind as he listened, unable to move the slightest bit.
"Nani mo iwazuni toki wa nagereru… yagate kuru asa no hisashi ni tokeru youni sora ni kieru saigo no yoru wa doko ni mo nakute… Okizari no ore no kokoro o tsuki dake ga ima mo miteru…"
'…Why? …Is this some cheap trick? …I can't… even…'
"…Kimi ni aitai yukitai ikareteru bureikii wa tomaranai mou dare ga tometemo… Jyoushiki no fensu ni buchi ataru tabi ni tsuyokunaru kara… kabe o nori koete kasoku suru…"
That wasn't right… that didn't belong in that song… that was from another… It finally struck him -- there was no music… just the words. The steady flow of the voice of his lover… singing… No music. Just words. He took a few steps forward, j-curving to shuffle over to his CD player… It wasn't on… and the singing had dissolved into a soft hum… It wasn't… a CD…
Golden eyes shot wide open as he broke into a run, barely missing walls as he headed for his room only to throw the door open after a quick turn to the knob was given. He stepped in to the room, gaze cast to the floor as slender digits wrapped about the necklace he wore. "...This is silly… Things like this just don't happen… People don't come back from the dead…"
"…Yuki…"
His gaze rose, scanning slowly over the area before rising to meet wide violet eyes. His jaw dropped, arms falling limp at his sides as he stared at the boy… the boy he'd lost… His Shuichi…
"…I can't stop lovin' you."
He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes as he stared in disbelief, golden eyes as wide as they could get without looking overly ridiculous. He took a cautious step …followed by another and another until he'd slowly made his way over to the boy, a hand raising to place itself on Shuichi's cheek before slender digits traced the boys features. "…Sh-Shuichi…"
"I'm home." Small hands rose, the pads of thumbs carefully brushing the tears away from the golden eyes that belonged to his lover before he found himself pulled into a hug and he was forced to wrap his arms around the neck of Yuki as he buried his face in the older mans chest.
"God, I love you so much, Shuichi… You have no idea…"
The silhouetted figure of the two stood outlined by the light of the moon that filtered in through the partially shaded window before collapsing on to the bed …And for the first time in the past few months Yuki woke to find the ghost from his dreams asleep in his arms and for once… he decided he wouldn't allow himself to take his happiness for granted. He wouldn't loose him again… he wanted Shuichi with him. He needed Shuichi with him.
Slender digits brushed pink filaments from the younger boys sleeping face as he watched him, his gaze straying every now and then from Shuichi's face to the necklace the boy wore around his neck. "..Always, Shuichi… until the end of time… Until the stars stop burning, until the waters stop flowing… until everything ceases to live… I'll love you…"
~Owari~
*For REAL, this time. ^_^ This fic is COMPLETED. Thank all of you guys who read this! I love you all and thanks to the reviewers. ^_^ I appreciated all of your comments! Translations for both In the Moonlight and Break Through (I used parts of those songs for this fic, incase you didn't know) can be found on animelyrics.com. ^_^; I'll post the translations for the parts of the songs I used…*
In the Moonlight
My behavior made a mimicry of laughter, even when I remember your voice. The scene of the night when we walked around together is now an orange-colored photograph.
You forgave the lies that fell from the darkness and my selfishness, but your tears, even now…
Without saying a word, time flows on; the sky is extinguished by the light of the morning that's coming soon, like it melts away. On that last night, no matter where it is, only the moon looks at my deserted heart even now.
Break Through
I want to go falling in love with you; even a furious break wont stop this, no matter who tries to stop me now. Since it gets stronger every time I hit and am hit by the borders of common sense, I'll climb over the wall and speed up…
I can't stop lovin' you.
Always - Chapter 6 - My Dreams…
"Why are they taking so long?!" Yuki asked, worried about the boy that had been rushed to the emergency room. Golden eyes half-lidded as he leaned against the wall, he slowly began to slip down to the floor as he covered his face with his hands, crystal-clear tears streaming rather freely from those eyes of his as he tried to assure himself that he'd be fine.
Hiroshi glanced at the clock, worried eyes focusing on the arms of the round object, past the reflection of himself in the glass case. 12:30am. …They'd been waiting for information regarding Shuichi for six hours now and so far all attempts to get them out of the hospital had been futile -- Yuki refused to leave… and Hiro was bent on staying by his side. Hiroshi was thinking… that maybe it was time to go home. "Yuki…" he started, averting his gaze to the man as he motioned for him to get up. But…even so, it was hard to keep himself from breaking down the way Yuki was. "…It's time to go home."
Yuki staggered to his feet, hands falling as his arms came to rest at his sides. Golden eyes fell shut as he slid towards the exit, Hiroshi following closely behind as he pushed through the double doors and stepped… for what seemed like the first time in his life… into a world that offered to rid himself of the pain of what he'd been through. And so he came to a dead stop, hanging his head as he cast his gaze to the ground before taking sudden interest in the necklace that hung about his neck.
Hiroshi stopped beside him, evergreen hues sparkling with the slight burden of tears as he placed a reassuring hand on the older mans shoulder. "Daijoubu… we all… knew this was going to happen… sooner or later, Yuki… At least he's not suffering…" He was taking this extremely well for someone who'd just technically lost his best friend… He seemed to be, anyway… deep inside his heart had smashed into billions of tiny pieces and set aflame.
"I can't… do this, Hiroshi… without him… I can't…"
"…I'll help you… He wouldn't want you upset, Yuki. He loved you more than anyone else, he wouldn't want you like this…"
"But I can't. Without him… I can't…"
. . . . .
Weeks had passed… since that day… and Yuki had barely gotten any sleep and he had barely eaten enough to get by. Plagued each night with dreams of his past lover, only to wake up… hoping to find the boy in his arms and see instead nothing. …Nothing but the boys scent. And he'd come to know Shuichi as the lover in his dreams, the one that made him forget the things of the past. The lover that haunted his fantasies but strayed from anything more.. Deserting him in the mornings only to join him once again as he closed his eyes.
"He hasn't even written anything since that day… don't you think it's time he's moved on?"
"He was too attached to that boy… He shouldn't have gotten involved with him."
"He should just forget about him… I hear the boy's best friend is trying to help him get through this."
"Yes, but it's been months now… I've heard they're doing a little more than crying on each other's shoulders!"
"They wouldn't!"
"I bet they would! You know how many lovers that Eiri man had even when he was with that boy! And that Nakano… he's the type to do something like that. Besides, there's no Bad Luck anymore… Unless they find a new vocalist… Why shouldn't the two play around?"
He'd pretended to ignore the rumors floating about the cities… everywhere he went, everywhere he dared to show his face… there were rumors. And those eyes that had only once been deadly had become murderous as they shimmered in the sunlight or the lights from the streetlamps, reflecting the hate he had for everyone around him. Everyone talking about him… and his Shuichi.
Hiroshi, who hadn't left his side for the first few weeks after Shuichi's death had slowly decided to back away, not wanting to witness the worst of Yuki's attitudes. But Yuki had enjoyed his company, the both of them had been able to help with the wounds in their hearts made by the passing of the bubble-gum pink haired youth. The both of them had grown close, even Tohma hadn't been able to pry them apart for a month or so. Of course, their relationship had gotten any stronger than one of brothers, despite what others may have thought.
Shuffling down the street, he shoved both hands in his pant pockets as he pushed through the bustling crowds. Why the hell were there so many people out now anyway? It was late… He didn't even know why he was out… Just to pass the time, perhaps. Or maybe just to wander around in hopes to find something he'd lost… though he couldn't remember anymore what it was.
Golden eyes downcast, he finally passed the crowd and slipped silently into the building, slowly making his way over to the elevator before a single digit was placed on one of the various buttons. A sigh escaped partially parted tiers as he ran the fingers of his right hand through his hair before he entered the small room as the door opened… only to wait rather impatiently for it to close. Why was it that when he wanted to go to bed that everything took longer? …He could already smell Shuichi.. He could already see him when he closed his eyes.
Leaning against the hard wall, his hand found it's way back to it's pocket before he exited the elevator, looking behind his shoulder once as if expecting to see something no one else saw. As if to hear something no one else could hear. Shuichi's laughter engulfed the elevator and the replay of their first kiss… The way the boy looked at him with those gorgeous violet eyes, the way he spoke… the way he smelled…
Yuki couldn't take it anymore. Sneering, he shuffled over to the door of his apartment, resting his forehead against the surface of his door as he fumbled with the door knob… A slight turn and push and the door was opened… Hadn't he locked it? Shrugging the thought off, having not wanting to think of such things, he slipped into his apartment.
"Ore no shigusa manete waratta kimi no koe mo omoi dasu… kimi to aruku yoru no shiin wa orenji iro fotogurafu…"
Yuki blinked, raising a brow at the sound of the familiar voice that ran throughout his apartment, golden eyes going wide as he slowly began to remember the song… Why was it playing? He didn't turn it on… and he hadn't been able to listen to Shuichi sing since… that day…
"Kage ni otoshita uso to… ore no wagamama o yurushita… kimi no namida ga ima demo…"
Why was it playing…? Yuki stood dumbfounded as he pushed the door shut, memories of the boy flooding his mind as he listened, unable to move the slightest bit.
"Nani mo iwazuni toki wa nagereru… yagate kuru asa no hisashi ni tokeru youni sora ni kieru saigo no yoru wa doko ni mo nakute… Okizari no ore no kokoro o tsuki dake ga ima mo miteru…"
'…Why? …Is this some cheap trick? …I can't… even…'
"…Kimi ni aitai yukitai ikareteru bureikii wa tomaranai mou dare ga tometemo… Jyoushiki no fensu ni buchi ataru tabi ni tsuyokunaru kara… kabe o nori koete kasoku suru…"
That wasn't right… that didn't belong in that song… that was from another… It finally struck him -- there was no music… just the words. The steady flow of the voice of his lover… singing… No music. Just words. He took a few steps forward, j-curving to shuffle over to his CD player… It wasn't on… and the singing had dissolved into a soft hum… It wasn't… a CD…
Golden eyes shot wide open as he broke into a run, barely missing walls as he headed for his room only to throw the door open after a quick turn to the knob was given. He stepped in to the room, gaze cast to the floor as slender digits wrapped about the necklace he wore. "...This is silly… Things like this just don't happen… People don't come back from the dead…"
"…Yuki…"
His gaze rose, scanning slowly over the area before rising to meet wide violet eyes. His jaw dropped, arms falling limp at his sides as he stared at the boy… the boy he'd lost… His Shuichi…
"…I can't stop lovin' you."
He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes as he stared in disbelief, golden eyes as wide as they could get without looking overly ridiculous. He took a cautious step …followed by another and another until he'd slowly made his way over to the boy, a hand raising to place itself on Shuichi's cheek before slender digits traced the boys features. "…Sh-Shuichi…"
"I'm home." Small hands rose, the pads of thumbs carefully brushing the tears away from the golden eyes that belonged to his lover before he found himself pulled into a hug and he was forced to wrap his arms around the neck of Yuki as he buried his face in the older mans chest.
"God, I love you so much, Shuichi… You have no idea…"
The silhouetted figure of the two stood outlined by the light of the moon that filtered in through the partially shaded window before collapsing on to the bed …And for the first time in the past few months Yuki woke to find the ghost from his dreams asleep in his arms and for once… he decided he wouldn't allow himself to take his happiness for granted. He wouldn't loose him again… he wanted Shuichi with him. He needed Shuichi with him.
Slender digits brushed pink filaments from the younger boys sleeping face as he watched him, his gaze straying every now and then from Shuichi's face to the necklace the boy wore around his neck. "..Always, Shuichi… until the end of time… Until the stars stop burning, until the waters stop flowing… until everything ceases to live… I'll love you…"
~Owari~
*For REAL, this time. ^_^ This fic is COMPLETED. Thank all of you guys who read this! I love you all and thanks to the reviewers. ^_^ I appreciated all of your comments! Translations for both In the Moonlight and Break Through (I used parts of those songs for this fic, incase you didn't know) can be found on animelyrics.com. ^_^; I'll post the translations for the parts of the songs I used…*
In the Moonlight
My behavior made a mimicry of laughter, even when I remember your voice. The scene of the night when we walked around together is now an orange-colored photograph.
You forgave the lies that fell from the darkness and my selfishness, but your tears, even now…
Without saying a word, time flows on; the sky is extinguished by the light of the morning that's coming soon, like it melts away. On that last night, no matter where it is, only the moon looks at my deserted heart even now.
Break Through
I want to go falling in love with you; even a furious break wont stop this, no matter who tries to stop me now. Since it gets stronger every time I hit and am hit by the borders of common sense, I'll climb over the wall and speed up…
I can't stop lovin' you.