*Title: As We Are
*Author: Jania Jitsu
*Disclaimer: The characters still aren't mine. Are you as surprised as I am?
*Feedback: jania_jitsu@yahoo.com
*Summary: In an alternate universe, Dumbledore does not become headmaster in time for Remus to go to Hogwarts.
***
"Never deny what your heart truly feels." --the Mask of Zorro
** Part Two ** Angel in an Apron **
"They should be coming tonight. They've been doing this for about three years now. I don't tell Headmaster Dumbledore because he already knows about it, I think. So don't worry about that. Just treat them like normal customers. They'll *look* just like normal customers.
"There's two with black hair and one with blondish-brown. One of the black-haired ones has glasses and impossibly messy hair, and the brunet is short. The other black-haired boy is tall, and he'll be wearing a black leather jacket. He looks like trouble in Muggles' clothing.
"They tip well and generally aren't rowdy, but I thought I'd warn you, because we're not supposed to know they're Hogwarts students. It's an issue, you see, because they're sneaking off school grounds and all. So we just feign ignorance. Got it?"
Remus nodded and Rosmerta sent him back off to work.
***
"ARRRGH! Why, why, WHY?" he demanded, pulling on his hair. There was plenty to pull on, as it was almost shoulder-length.
"'Scuse me?" the second asked, looking up from the trunk he was digging through and pushing the spectacles up his nose.
"You *know* we can't all fit under that invisibility cloak, James Potter! And you *know* who's going to get elected to sneak out!"
"You have to admit, Siri, you're the best of us at sneaking about. Peter would die-- or worse!-- get caught. We don't want to be rude and make Lily go unprotected, and since she's my--"
"I know, I know." Sirius Black waved his hand; a gesture of defeat. "Your girlfriend."
"You know you'll enjoy the challenge."
Sirius tried, but he couldn't keep from grinning.
"Yeeeeah," the two friends agreed.
***
They managed to get to the Three Broomsticks
easily enough, and they sat down at their usual table. Lily (James's new
girlfriend) was looking around a little apprehensively.
"Well," she said, "I'm impressed you got us this far, but what if someone recognizes us? Madam Rosmerta knows us, for one."
"We have a little arrangement with Madam Rosmerta," James said with a mysterious grin.
Lily raised an eyebrow, but didn't ask.
Sirius looked around at the other customers with a grin. He loved this place. Or, not necessarily *this place*, but rather this feeling of freedom that he got every time he, James, and Peter snuck out of Hogwarts to come here.
He felt powerful. He felt invincible. He felt young. He felt like anything was possible: freedom, happiness, fun... love...
All the way across the room, Sirius saw something. It was a flash of something golden, then another, then the gold stood still long enough for Sirius to see.
He was thin and graceful, and smiled with an ease that made Sirius feel a little faint. The gold that Sirius had seen was hair. It was shorter than Sirius's, though it could not be called *short*, and it curled up a little at the ends. Sirius's first impression was that this must be an angel. A golden-haired angel in an apron.
Sirius would have reveled in this phenomenon that was the angel for an eternity had Peter not elbowed him.
"Hunh?"
Peter, James, and even Lily were giving him identical looks. Sirius Black *was* trouble, and he knew a mischievous look when he saw one.
"What?" he demanded.
"You were checking someone out!" Peter accused slyly.
"Was not!" Sirius denied with ill-hidden uneasiness. He had been! He was smitten with the angel-- the waiter, that is. But he was a *guy*! Sirius didn't fancy guys... did he?
Lily was looking at him like she knew something, but she said nothing; instead directing her gaze up to Sirius's right.
"Hello," a voice like honey, and chocolate, and first kisses, and rain greeted them. "May I take your order?"
***
As Remus went to wait on table two, he realized that it was the people Madam Rosmerta had warned him about and a grin spread across his face. They had an extra with them-- a girl-- but he recognized them from Madam Rosmerta's descriptions. Especially the one with long black hair. With his slightly catlike features, smoldering dark eyes, and the leather jacket he really did look like "trouble in Muggles' clothing".
"Hello," he said as pleasantly as he could. "May I take your order?"
Trouble turned to face him, and there was an odd look on his face. Remus shifted a little nervously. They didn't know anything about him, did they? Remus knew that they might have seen him before, especially when he was living in London just after his parents died, but no one ever paid any attention to sidewalk beggars, so Trouble *couldn't* recognize him!
The little red-haired girl gave her order, and the others followed suit, so Remus didn't have time to think of Trouble any more.
***
"So," James asked after the angel left with their orders, "who were you checking out, Siri?"
"What? Oh. Oh, no one. I just thought I saw something back there."
"Suuuuuuure..." James and Peter gave Sirius winks and Lily laughed.
"What?" Sirius demanded cockily, "You don't believe me?"
This prompted another laugh from all of them except Sirius, who tried to act affronted.
"What great friends I have! Hmph."
But Sirius was secretly following a golden trail of hair out of the corner of his eye and the next time the angel came to the table he was prepared enough to remain relatively nonchalant.
When they went home that night, Sirius claimed to be tired and went directly to bed. He didn't sleep at all that night; but he did lay and stare at the ceiling, pondering his sexuality.
He came to no conclusions by the next day. Or the one after that. Or the one after that.
By this time, almost the whole school had noticed that something was wrong with the slightly infamous Sirius Black. Lily told James and Peter to leave Sirius alone about it. Her advice was usually good, so they did.
Lily, however, had no intention of following her own advice. After lunch one day when Sirius was going to the Gryffindor Common Room she nabbed him and began dragging.
"Umm, Lily? Where are you taking me?"
"Somewhere we can be alone."
"No! Wait! I don't like you that way, Lil! What about James?!"
Lily rolled her eyes. "It's not like that, you prat. I need to talk to you."
"Cripes, Lils, you couldn't have just *asked*?"
"You would never have agreed if you knew what I want to talk about."
"And what is that?" Sirius said with mocking suspense in his voice.
Lily looked in both directions, but no one was coming. "I know who you were gawking at. That night in Hogsmeade," she clarified.
Sirius lost all his mocking immediately. "Wh-what? I--No, Lil, you're wrong."
"No I'm not," she said with that unique brand of Lily confidence that made Sirius want to hang his head in defeat.
"And what of it?" he asked, now adopting an almost sulky defiant tone.
"I think you should talk to him is what." While Sirius was still absorbing that one sentence into his head, Lily was already moving on. "My friends have talked to him before on Hogsmeade weekends and they say he's very sweet. If he doesn't give you a shot he'll let you down easy."
"Oh, that's really comforting," Sirius replied, his sarcasm having returned.
"Well, I see it like this:" Lily said with irritation, "you can either go talk to him and find out if he likes you or you can keep walking around in your little daze, bumping into everything and accidentally blowing things up in Potions."
Sirius didn't answer, and eventually Lily left him to stare at the stone wall and ponder.
***
End Part Two.
***
End Notes: I'm just going to note here that Remus's appearance was based directly off of Ewan McGregor and that Sirius was based pretty much off of Christopher Ralph (I don't expect anyone to know who he is) on the assumption that he'll grow older and have a bit of Johnny Depp in him. (You'll have to forgive me for that one- I've never been quite sure on what I think Sirius looks like, and I just saw "From Hell" so I'm in a state of Johnny Depp adoration.)