Nadesico: New Recruit Joe
by DoomaWriter
Author's notes: Well, the newest chapter is here. Believe it or not this is still a continuation of the last story. I mean fighting Jovians doesn't seem like much of a day off now does it? So no recap, no catch phrase yelling, just more story. Read and enjoy.
Chapter 5: Joe's Day Off: Part 3
Joe found himself inside the Nadesico's cafeteria with a big grin. Yurika might have been a hard nut to crack, but here he would have another chance. The paper said Megumi Reinard. Suddenly his grin disappeared and he scratched the back of his head. He looked back and forth between all the crewmembers. "Um.... which one's Megumi Reinard?"
He placed his fist to his chin and thought of how he could call her out. That was it! "Hey! Megumi! It's me, Joe!" His yell wasn't actually directed to anyone. Joe just hoped that Megumi was in the room and that she'd reply. If not, then he'd look really stupid right about now.
A purple-haired woman looked over towards his direction. "Joe?"
The suave man's eyes glinted. He raced over to her table and sat in a seat across from her. "There you are Megumi! I would've come sooner but I couldn't find you in such a crowd!"
"You're that new pilot...We haven't really met before. How did you know my name?"
Joe's face went blank. Beads of sweet appeared on his forehead. Then another idea came to him. "Why, I might not of known you physically, but our spirits are linked together! You see, the power of love drew us to one another!"
Megumi began to blush and ducked her head down. Joe on the other hand had a devilish smile and was wiping a small bit of drool from his mouth. It was the face a conman shows when seeing an obvious sucker.
Joe felt Megumi's hands touch his cheeks and slowly move down to his mouth. Then her fingers grasped the edges and pulled outward, sending out a large amount of pain. "Love, huh?" she said suspiciously. "I could have sworn you were tripping over yourself to get to the captain thirteen minutes ago!" She yanked harder and forced Joe's head to the table. " 'And you can make it up to me by excepting my offer of going out!' Sound familiar!?" Megumi let go to hear Joe's end of the story.
"You...uh...misunderstood," Joe said while rubbing his cheeks. "What I meant was that I...." Joe looked around the cafeteria and the food on the tables turned on another light bulb in his head. "...I...wanted her to buy my lunch. It seemed like a decent thing to do to someone who saved your ship. But maybe I was wrong." He now sported a fake disappointed look. "Its obvious no one around here gives a damn about what I do. Oh no, you already have three perfect pilots, who needs stupid, worthless Joe?"
"We in no way meant to offend- Wait a second, we have four pilots. Hikaru, Ryoko, Aki- Oh my! I forgot! I wanted to meet Akito for lunch! Excuse me." Megumi got up and ran from the table, forgetting all about her lunch companion.
Joe stared quietly before letting artificial gravity drop his head upon the table. "Agi-o? Why would she be in such a hurry to meet him? Hmm...Must owe her money." He began to laugh. "She won't be getting much out of him today."
Out of his pocket, the list appeared once again. Joe began to skim the lines. Before he could see the third name, the paper was snatched from his hand. "Hey! You nosey bastard!" He began as he lifted his head up. "That's my list of-" He stopped as he saw a woman reading the list he surely hadn't attended for women to see. "Uh...that's my list of...birthday invites."
"Birthday invites?" Ines said while skimming the page. "Odd how it says 'Joe's List of Lovely Ladies' on top."
"Uh well, that's a typo." He grabbed the page and quickly stuffed it into his back pocket. "Now on a note totally irrelevant to the previous list, tell me your name. I must know the title such a goddess goes by!"
"Its Ines. It's odd how now I'm a goddess and yet a minute ago I thought I was a 'nosey bastard'."
With a nervous grin, Joe chuckled and waved his hands. "No, no! You must've heard me wrong! I didn't say 'nosey bastard' I said...um.... rosy.....flastard."
"Flastard? I'm pretty sure that's not a word."
"Sure it is! It means..... goddess. So tell me, what's a beautiful woman like you doing later on?"
"Don't bother." She placed a hand on the table and pushed herself to her feet. "Judging by your talk with Megumi, you're much too negative to interest me. Work on that self-esteem." Those were her last words before she was gone.
"I'm.... not good enough...for her!?" The concept was new to Joe. Usually it had been the other way around. Without hesitation, he pulled out the list and crossed the name 'Ines Fresenjue' off. "Stuck up bitch."
He skimmed down the list but merely sighed and crumpled the paper before throwing it into the nearest wastebasket. "This ship is full of freaks." A thud sounded as his fist hit the tabletop. "I'm sick of begging! I am Great Pilot Joe! They should all be swooning over me."
Meanwhile, behind Joe, out of his sight, the Howmei girls were all distracted from their cooking and staring at Joe. (Howmei herself was constantly checking her watch and wondering where the hell Akito was).
"That's it!" Joe said confidently. "I'll try one more! And no matter what SHE shall be mine!" Joe turned around and pointed to a random person. His finger and luck had picked out Minato. "Hmm, not bad. Not bad at all."
"Ahem."
Something bumped into the back of Joe's head and he turned around. He saw the large build and not too happy face of Goat Hory. Joe looked at his finger then back at the man, then swallowed in a dry throat. He quickly moved his finger to the side and pointed to the woman next to her. The giant made a confused look then walked off peacefully.
"Damn, what the hell was that about?" Joe asked himself. "Now, who did I pick?"
"That would be," the Prospector said, suddenly appearing behind Joe out of nowhere. "None other than Ms. Izumi Maki." After an awkward moment of silence between the two, Prospector corrected his glasses then left as well.
"Geez, am I being that obvious?" Joe wondered. "Well, I'm sure this Izumi chick can't be all that bad."
---
Three hours later, as planned, Joe walked to the bridge with his laptop under his arm. Well, not so much as walked as run while saying, "I think I finally lost her." The laptop had the logo of an ancient anime series, which no one else could figure out the meaning of. It read NERV. "Hey, Ruri! Today's a great day to start being alive!"
"Baka," Ruri said, while still staring at her screen of advanced Japanese Kanji symbols.
Joe turned on his laptop and plugged a cord into the back. He took the other end of the crowd in his hand. "Alright, now where does this go in?"
"Mr. Joe, I still have a question I must ask you." Ruri said, trying to change the topic.
"It's not one of those philosophical questions like 'Can androids have souls' or something is it?" All the while, Joe was glancing around Ruri's head and neck for some sort of outlet.
"No. When you destroyed those retreating enemy targets, you actually confused Omoikane for a minute. He might not of been able to tell, but I believe I know the reason."
"Well that's not much of a question." Joe had moved to searching Ruri's arms.
"Omoikane's reaction and your unbelievable aiming, they are connected. Mr. Joe, did you-" Her words were stopped instantly as Joe had peered down the front of Ruri's shirt.
---
"W-what happened..."
"Akito! You're awake! I knew the power of our love would bring you back!"
Finding himself on the bed, Akito looked around and wondered why was his head throbbing. Little did he know, his face was covered in black marker scribbling. Akito now had fake a black eye, swirls upon his cheeks, lines coming down from his nose and the word 'DRUNK' on his forehead.
In the room, Megumi was sitting on the bed next to him while Seiya and Jun were putting away their markers and whistling innocently.
"You were here for so long," Seiya told Megumi. "Why did your love take three hours to bring him back?"
"Love takes time!" Megumi yelled.
"If you ask me, the stuff must've just worn off."
"Stuff?....The drink!" Akito yelled as his face became more and more red with anger.
"Yes, you seemed to of overdone it." Jun said, ashamed for Akito.
In a blind rage, Akito picked up the largest knife he could find in his kitchen. Then, realizing he didn't want to commit murder, he replaced it with the largest spoon. "WHERE'S JOE!?!?"
"Hmm," Jun said. "I heard a loud scream moments ago. He's now in the infirmary."
---
With his right arm and left leg in casts, Joe sat back staring at the ceiling. "Why me?"
Beside him, he was being treated to the horrible strumming of Izumi's ukulele.
--- More to come. ---
Author's notes: In case anyone's wondering, Joe is a big fan of 20th century anime. Don't worry, I'm not going to change this into a crossover. Now I must go because Ruri is currently holding me in a very painful headlock.
Ruri: One cannot write without their arms.
Author: Aww nuts. Help!
Author's notes: Well, the newest chapter is here. Believe it or not this is still a continuation of the last story. I mean fighting Jovians doesn't seem like much of a day off now does it? So no recap, no catch phrase yelling, just more story. Read and enjoy.
Chapter 5: Joe's Day Off: Part 3
Joe found himself inside the Nadesico's cafeteria with a big grin. Yurika might have been a hard nut to crack, but here he would have another chance. The paper said Megumi Reinard. Suddenly his grin disappeared and he scratched the back of his head. He looked back and forth between all the crewmembers. "Um.... which one's Megumi Reinard?"
He placed his fist to his chin and thought of how he could call her out. That was it! "Hey! Megumi! It's me, Joe!" His yell wasn't actually directed to anyone. Joe just hoped that Megumi was in the room and that she'd reply. If not, then he'd look really stupid right about now.
A purple-haired woman looked over towards his direction. "Joe?"
The suave man's eyes glinted. He raced over to her table and sat in a seat across from her. "There you are Megumi! I would've come sooner but I couldn't find you in such a crowd!"
"You're that new pilot...We haven't really met before. How did you know my name?"
Joe's face went blank. Beads of sweet appeared on his forehead. Then another idea came to him. "Why, I might not of known you physically, but our spirits are linked together! You see, the power of love drew us to one another!"
Megumi began to blush and ducked her head down. Joe on the other hand had a devilish smile and was wiping a small bit of drool from his mouth. It was the face a conman shows when seeing an obvious sucker.
Joe felt Megumi's hands touch his cheeks and slowly move down to his mouth. Then her fingers grasped the edges and pulled outward, sending out a large amount of pain. "Love, huh?" she said suspiciously. "I could have sworn you were tripping over yourself to get to the captain thirteen minutes ago!" She yanked harder and forced Joe's head to the table. " 'And you can make it up to me by excepting my offer of going out!' Sound familiar!?" Megumi let go to hear Joe's end of the story.
"You...uh...misunderstood," Joe said while rubbing his cheeks. "What I meant was that I...." Joe looked around the cafeteria and the food on the tables turned on another light bulb in his head. "...I...wanted her to buy my lunch. It seemed like a decent thing to do to someone who saved your ship. But maybe I was wrong." He now sported a fake disappointed look. "Its obvious no one around here gives a damn about what I do. Oh no, you already have three perfect pilots, who needs stupid, worthless Joe?"
"We in no way meant to offend- Wait a second, we have four pilots. Hikaru, Ryoko, Aki- Oh my! I forgot! I wanted to meet Akito for lunch! Excuse me." Megumi got up and ran from the table, forgetting all about her lunch companion.
Joe stared quietly before letting artificial gravity drop his head upon the table. "Agi-o? Why would she be in such a hurry to meet him? Hmm...Must owe her money." He began to laugh. "She won't be getting much out of him today."
Out of his pocket, the list appeared once again. Joe began to skim the lines. Before he could see the third name, the paper was snatched from his hand. "Hey! You nosey bastard!" He began as he lifted his head up. "That's my list of-" He stopped as he saw a woman reading the list he surely hadn't attended for women to see. "Uh...that's my list of...birthday invites."
"Birthday invites?" Ines said while skimming the page. "Odd how it says 'Joe's List of Lovely Ladies' on top."
"Uh well, that's a typo." He grabbed the page and quickly stuffed it into his back pocket. "Now on a note totally irrelevant to the previous list, tell me your name. I must know the title such a goddess goes by!"
"Its Ines. It's odd how now I'm a goddess and yet a minute ago I thought I was a 'nosey bastard'."
With a nervous grin, Joe chuckled and waved his hands. "No, no! You must've heard me wrong! I didn't say 'nosey bastard' I said...um.... rosy.....flastard."
"Flastard? I'm pretty sure that's not a word."
"Sure it is! It means..... goddess. So tell me, what's a beautiful woman like you doing later on?"
"Don't bother." She placed a hand on the table and pushed herself to her feet. "Judging by your talk with Megumi, you're much too negative to interest me. Work on that self-esteem." Those were her last words before she was gone.
"I'm.... not good enough...for her!?" The concept was new to Joe. Usually it had been the other way around. Without hesitation, he pulled out the list and crossed the name 'Ines Fresenjue' off. "Stuck up bitch."
He skimmed down the list but merely sighed and crumpled the paper before throwing it into the nearest wastebasket. "This ship is full of freaks." A thud sounded as his fist hit the tabletop. "I'm sick of begging! I am Great Pilot Joe! They should all be swooning over me."
Meanwhile, behind Joe, out of his sight, the Howmei girls were all distracted from their cooking and staring at Joe. (Howmei herself was constantly checking her watch and wondering where the hell Akito was).
"That's it!" Joe said confidently. "I'll try one more! And no matter what SHE shall be mine!" Joe turned around and pointed to a random person. His finger and luck had picked out Minato. "Hmm, not bad. Not bad at all."
"Ahem."
Something bumped into the back of Joe's head and he turned around. He saw the large build and not too happy face of Goat Hory. Joe looked at his finger then back at the man, then swallowed in a dry throat. He quickly moved his finger to the side and pointed to the woman next to her. The giant made a confused look then walked off peacefully.
"Damn, what the hell was that about?" Joe asked himself. "Now, who did I pick?"
"That would be," the Prospector said, suddenly appearing behind Joe out of nowhere. "None other than Ms. Izumi Maki." After an awkward moment of silence between the two, Prospector corrected his glasses then left as well.
"Geez, am I being that obvious?" Joe wondered. "Well, I'm sure this Izumi chick can't be all that bad."
---
Three hours later, as planned, Joe walked to the bridge with his laptop under his arm. Well, not so much as walked as run while saying, "I think I finally lost her." The laptop had the logo of an ancient anime series, which no one else could figure out the meaning of. It read NERV. "Hey, Ruri! Today's a great day to start being alive!"
"Baka," Ruri said, while still staring at her screen of advanced Japanese Kanji symbols.
Joe turned on his laptop and plugged a cord into the back. He took the other end of the crowd in his hand. "Alright, now where does this go in?"
"Mr. Joe, I still have a question I must ask you." Ruri said, trying to change the topic.
"It's not one of those philosophical questions like 'Can androids have souls' or something is it?" All the while, Joe was glancing around Ruri's head and neck for some sort of outlet.
"No. When you destroyed those retreating enemy targets, you actually confused Omoikane for a minute. He might not of been able to tell, but I believe I know the reason."
"Well that's not much of a question." Joe had moved to searching Ruri's arms.
"Omoikane's reaction and your unbelievable aiming, they are connected. Mr. Joe, did you-" Her words were stopped instantly as Joe had peered down the front of Ruri's shirt.
---
"W-what happened..."
"Akito! You're awake! I knew the power of our love would bring you back!"
Finding himself on the bed, Akito looked around and wondered why was his head throbbing. Little did he know, his face was covered in black marker scribbling. Akito now had fake a black eye, swirls upon his cheeks, lines coming down from his nose and the word 'DRUNK' on his forehead.
In the room, Megumi was sitting on the bed next to him while Seiya and Jun were putting away their markers and whistling innocently.
"You were here for so long," Seiya told Megumi. "Why did your love take three hours to bring him back?"
"Love takes time!" Megumi yelled.
"If you ask me, the stuff must've just worn off."
"Stuff?....The drink!" Akito yelled as his face became more and more red with anger.
"Yes, you seemed to of overdone it." Jun said, ashamed for Akito.
In a blind rage, Akito picked up the largest knife he could find in his kitchen. Then, realizing he didn't want to commit murder, he replaced it with the largest spoon. "WHERE'S JOE!?!?"
"Hmm," Jun said. "I heard a loud scream moments ago. He's now in the infirmary."
---
With his right arm and left leg in casts, Joe sat back staring at the ceiling. "Why me?"
Beside him, he was being treated to the horrible strumming of Izumi's ukulele.
--- More to come. ---
Author's notes: In case anyone's wondering, Joe is a big fan of 20th century anime. Don't worry, I'm not going to change this into a crossover. Now I must go because Ruri is currently holding me in a very painful headlock.
Ruri: One cannot write without their arms.
Author: Aww nuts. Help!