Utter Nonsense
By: chop chop master onion
Chapter one
That Smoldering Pile of Ash Used to be my Brain
Master noodles, the pretty blonde!
Vash, the man whore!
Link, the homosexual!
Ed, the….ed
Ein, the dog!
Gary Newman's song "cars" playing in backround….a pretty blonde girl driving a silver convertible corvette (mah dream car baby!!!), hair blowing in the wind. Of course, she is moi, chop chop master onion. Her name….Master Noodles. Which is funny because that's my name. Anyhoo….
Voice 1: hey, girl, wake up!
Voice 2: I think she's dead
Voice 3:I hope she's dead
Voice 2: your just mad 'cuse your gay
Voice 3: shutup!
Voice 1: ed thinks she's pretty!
Dog: bark!
Later……….
Master Noodles: *eyes open slowly*
Voice 1: *very close and loud* Hi! I'm Ed!
Master Noodles: *jumps* …
Ed: and this is Ein!
Ein: bark!
Voice 2: *runs over* hey, hey! How dare you not introduce me to this pretty girl?? *drools* I'm Vash….. *takes hand suddenly serious* it is an honor to meet a woman of such fine….*looks a little lower*
Ein: bark!
Ed: and this is link, he hates women!
MN: uhhh….nice to meet you all…
Vash: *serious, eyes sparking* I saved you from an inevitable fate, and destiny brought us together…..
Link: cut the crap! She was sleeping and you kidnapped her.
Vash: but-but-but-but that's not how it happened!! It all started when…
Link; oh no, I sense a flashback….
Ein: bark!
Black and white flashback: Master Noodles sleeping in her bed. Her alarms going off but she doesn't seem to hear it. Her old house steps are creaking as if someone was walking up them slowly, dragging something heavy. At the top of the stars now, it slowly creeps down the hall towards her room, still sounding like its dragging something of great mass (inside joke, my friend told me not to use the word "heavy" again) it stops at her doorway, a shadow, and not the sound of gunfire but the smell of gunpowder makes her slowly start to come to. The figure at the door stops suddenly, the sound of thick liquid oozing to the floor, the shadow falls.
Link: wait, wait…. Are you telling me YOU killed someone????
Vash: actually, I didn't do a thing! I was simply hanging from her window ledge when this happened.
Link: and what were you doing there????
Vash: uhhhh….. cleaning it?
Ein: Bark!
Vash: anyways, I didn't want to leave her there anymore than I wanted to touch that thing in her doorway…..
MN: well, thanks. I guess….
(the other chapters will be longer I swear….it looked a lot longer on paper….heh…)