Chapter 6
Wednesday, July 16th, 1986
Hill Valley
5: 03 P. M.
Marty sat by the campfire alone, roasting marshmallows as "comfort food." He was still really pissed at his mother and he hoped sugar would get his mind off her. He didn't know where his family was, and frankly, he didn't care. He just wanted to be alone.
In another part of the woods, Dennis Clark, known to his closest friends as 3-D, was looking for firewood. His campsite was running low, and he really needed to find some. Passing by a bush, he spotted the remains of a black jacket hanging off it. He sighed -- it had to be Match's. His friend had been recently transformed into the soulless by Biff's order. He and Skinhead visited 3-D at night occasionally. He didn't mind too much about how they looked now; after all he'd be joining them in a month or two. What really bothered him was when they brought their friends. He hated being looked at like he was a piece of steak. He left the shreds on the bush and pressed on.
After a little plodding, he came upon the McFly camp. His first thought was just to snitch some firewood and head back.
Then he spotted Marty.
A wicked smile curled his lips. If he could get his hands on Marty and bring him to the soulless vampires. . . . How proud Biff would be of him! And it would be one less thing to worry about when they made their bid for world supremacy. Slowly, carefully, he picked up a log and crept up on the teen. With one quick swing, Marty was out for the count. 3-D stopped him from falling into the fire and started dragging him away. He got as far as the edge of the camp before temptation overcame him. He left Marty against a tree and went back to steal the rest of Marty's marshmallows.
That was his mistake. Before he knew it, he was suspended off the ground by an angry Doc. "Well, well. Look what the cat dragged in."
"Put me down," 3-D rasped, none too impressively.
"Why should I? You seem to forget that whatever happens to Marty concerns me." He glanced over at his unconscious friend, eyes glowing maliciously. "I'd say it's my duty to prevent his kidnaping." His grip tightened a notch. "I'm sure I know a ranger or two who would love to get to know you better."
Desperate, 3-D began to kick. It must have been his lucky day, because one of his blows connected in just the right spot. Doc yelled out in pain, dropped him, and curled up into a ball. The unconscious Marty flinched too, but did not revive. 3-D ran to him, picked him up, and beat it out of there.
After a few minutes of running, he had to stop and catch his breath. For a short and skinny teen, Marty seemed to weigh a ton when you carried him. 3-D sat down on a rock and dumped Marty at his feet. To have my youth back, he thought, panting. I was a track star back in the 50s.
He smiled as he remembered his younger days. When he only had to wear glasses for fun, not for his eyesight. When he and his buddies hand inspired terror in all the younger kids. When he had been on of the unofficial "rulers" of high school.
Then it had all ended in one night of embarrassment. He glowered at nothing in particular. Why the hell had George McFly shown up that night? He wasn't even Lorraine's date! Calvin Klein had been, that bastard, and they had--
All the color abruptly drained from 3-D's face. He looked down at Marty's face, memories long-dimmed coming back to startling vividness. Now he understood why Biff's hatred for the McFly clan had grown after his trip with VAMPIS. Marty was the spitting image of Calvin Klein.
Or, more accurately, Marty was Calvin Klein.
Questions raced through 3-D's mind at the speed of light. How had Marty ended up in the 50's? Did Doc Brown have a time machine, like Biff had suggested? What had Marty been doing on a date with his own mother? And what of his sudden reappearance three days after his left? And his subsequent vanishing, never to be seen again? When had all this happened, anyway?
Then, mercifully, the questions stopped, and his mind went blank. Mostly because he had just been hit in the head with a rock, courtesy of a very pissed Mysteria Jones.
Wednesday, July 16th
6: 09 P. M.
Marty came awake with a groan. "Ouch. . . ." He spotted a female figure by his side. "Mom? Is that you? Or is it Mystie?"
"Wrong on both," Jennifer said, kissing him. "How ya feeling?"
"My head hurts like hell." And a more sensitive part of me hurts too. . . . "What happened to me?"
"Doc told us 3-D was trying to kidnap you, baby," Lorraine said, coming in to put some ice on his head. "Mystie rescued you."
"Thanks, Mystie," he mumbled. "But how come Doc didn't?"
"A very lucky kick on 3-D's part, that's why," Doc moaned, his voice higher than normal. Marty looked over to see a bag of ice resting on Doc's "privates." "I thought you would have guessed that already."
Marty winced. "Ouch. That must suck."
"You don't need some ice down there, do you?" Lorraine asked, trying to sound causal.
Marty was saved from answering by Linda poking her head into the camper. "Ma, Dad went off to beat up 3-D."
"Not again! I know he's angry, but we should really be telling the authorities about this!" She excused herself to go retrieve him.
Jennifer stroked Marty's hair, going lightly over his bruise. "You look so cute when you're hurt."
"I don't think I'll make looking cute a habit then."
Mystie came in, yawning. "How's my sweetie?"
"In agony. You?"
"Awwww, my poor sweetie." She kissed Doc gently. "How about you, Marty? That was a nasty bruise."
"Killer headache. Could you help me out with that? Jennifer's helping, but I think I need to got to sleep for a little while."
"I intend to, but I have to do Emmett first. Just a sec." She looked into Doc's eyes. "Any requests?"
"Can you make me feel like you dumped the ice in my pants? Better yet, actually dump the ice in my pants."
"You want to walk around in wet pants?"
"You want to go a week without--"
"Hey, we're still here," Jennifer noted, wrinkling her nose.
"Sorry. I'm not going to dump ice down your pants, Emmett, no matter what. But if you really want to feel that way, I will oblige." She tilted his head upwards. "Now, Emmett, you're relaxing, relaxing totally. . . ."
After the she-vampire had given both Doc and Marty her treatment, she heard what sounded like an argument outside. "'Scuse me." She went outside to see George and Lorraine looking kinda pissed at each other. Oh, man, not again with the fighting! "What's the problem, guys?"
"3-D brought up a sensitive subject between us," Lorraine said, sounding catty.
"Calvin Klein," George elaborated a little. "He had to bring up the fact Marty bears a striking resemblance to him."
"George," Lorraine said warningly.
"The way he was going on about it was ridiculous, though," George pressed on. "He was saying Marty was Calvin Klein. Stupid, huh? Come on, Lorraine, let me smash him."
"George. . . ."
Mystie was very glad she had naturally pale skin. It hid her stunned fear better. "Yeah," she managed to agree, although with George or Lorraine she had no idea, before fleeing for the camper. "We've got a problem" she whispered.
"What is it?" Doc asked, puzzled.
Mystie motioned for him to keep his voice down. "It seems that Biff's been blabbing about his experiences with VAMPIS. 3-D just figured out Marty was CK back in 1955."
"Shit!" Marty swore quietly. "This is bad."
"I'll say. It's also got your parents in a tizzy. I caught some thoughts while I was talking to them. Seems George suspects Lorraine of cheating on him because of your 'striking resemblance' to Calvin Klein."
"Shit shit shit!"
"We gotta do something," said Jennifer unnecessarily. "Mystie, you can take care of 3-D, right?"
"Yeah, but we have to get George and Lorraine's minds off it too."
"Well, hopefully this will pass and they will just forget about it," Doc said, resisting the urge to rub his crotch. "They've asked me about Calvin once or twice. I said I've lost touch with him, and that was that."
"And they've never questioned it?" asked Mystie.
"They don't like to talk about him much, as you've seen. Remember how flustered Lorraine got when Linda mentioned how Lorraine and George fell in love?" He shrugged. "We'll monitor the situation and step in if it gets out of hand."
"Fingers crossed," Jennifer muttered, fully aware of the McFly's "vacation luck."
"Yeah, really. I'll go take care of 3-D." Mysteria planted a final kiss on Doc's lips and left.
Lorraine quickly filled the space she had left, looking annoyed. "Do I look like the type who would cheat on George?" she demanded of everyone.
"Of course not. You seem like one of the happiest married couples in Hill Valley."
"Well, I know George thinks that I have sometimes. He's so insecure. I don't know why Marty looks so much like Calvin now," she added, like she had forgotten Marty was in the room. Her son glared and blushed. "But I swear to God I didn't cheat on George."
"I'd offer my services as a lie detector, but I doubt you'd take them," Doc said.
"Sorry, but the way you hypnotize people scares me. Too bad you lost contact with Calvin, he--"
Suddenly, Lorraine frowned. "Hold on a second. You've got one sister, right?" Doc nodded. "When was her baby born?"
"1940. Why?"
"And it was a girl, right?"
Oh, no! "Umm. . . ."
"I don't believe it! You lied to us for 30 years! And I can't believe I only figured it out just now! So who is Calvin Klein, Dr. Brown?"
"A friend's kid," Doc said quickly, trying to circumvent Lorraine's wrath. "He was sort of my unofficial nephew."
"Lorraine?" George poked his head in. "What's happened? I heard you yelling. . . ."
"Turns out Calvin Klein never was Doc's nephew. He only has a niece."
"So why'd he say Calvin was his nephew all these years?"
"Guys, they're both hurt. Can't it wait?" Jennifer pleaded, knowing the boys would need time to formulate a plan.
"Yes, but we will discuss this later," Lorraine said firmly. Doc got the feeling that she had been sort of waiting for an opportunity like this for a while. He looked over at Marty nervously. He looked back, just as nervous. This wasn't going to be pretty.
Wednesday, July 16th
8: 37 P. M.
The family all sat around a picnic table, Doc and Marty trying to keep from wincing. George and Lorraine had perfect ice-people looks on their faces, directly their cold gazes on anyone who tried to speak. Dave was nervously twisting a stick he had found. Linda had grabbed Marty's marshmallows and was eating them rapidly. Mystie looked around for escape routes. All in all, it was the tensest scene in McFly history.
Lorraine spoke first. "So, who is this friend, Dr. Brown? The one you think of as a relative?"
"Jane Klein," Doc blurted, seizing on the first name that came to mind. "She's like another sister to me."
"Can we meet her?"
"She lives on the East Coast."
"We'll chip in for the plane ticket. I want to meet her."
"Honestly, Lorraine, we don't have to take things this far over--"
"You be quiet," Lorraine snapped. George's eyes narrowed.
"You know, I had a hand in making our children," he growled. Hearing a guy like George McFly growl was an interesting experience. For some reason, it reminded Marty of an old horror movie, Willard. He could just picture his father using that voice to command a legion in rats.
"According to you, you don't think so with your youngest. I'm trying to find out the truth. And if the truth means--"
"Lorraine, I don't care. Marty is and will always be my son. 3-D was just being an asshole. Let's just drop this."
"No. I want the truth."
Doc couldn't stand this tense atmosphere a second longer. He slammed his hands on the table and stood up. "I'm sick of this. Completely sick of it. This 'vacation' has been nothing but one long nightmare. We're all acting like children. I want to go home."
"I second that motion," Dave said, snapping his stick in two. "All in favor?"
Everyone except Lorraine and George raised their hands high. "Motion passes by majority. Let's go home, guys. You can argue in the comfort of the living room."
"Yeah! We can argue in the living room with the TV going," Linda said enthusiastically.
Neither parent gave any indication that they had heard. They remained sitting there, glaring at each other. Neither blinked, or even breathed, from the looks of it. The rest of the family exchanged uneasy looks. Dave stood up, having had enough. "I'm going home and taking the camper."
"Sit down, David." Lorraine's tone was almost friendly, making it hold even more anger than usual. Dave sat down, groping for his sticks. Linda started stuffing in the marshmallows faster, barely bothering to chew. Mystie drummed her fingers on the tabletop, chewing on the knuckles on the other hand. Doc sank down onto the bench too, although his temper was going straight up in the other direction. He knew that, soon, he'd say something he'd regret, unless George and Lorraine shut up right then. And in his heart, he knew that wasn't going to happen.
He glanced over at Marty, who was staring at the wood. Damn it, it's gonna be all my fault if my family's torn apart. I can't believe this. Doc reached over and patted his back, then glared up at George and Lorraine, silently daring them to make him lose it.
They took the dare. "Lorraine, I swear I don't give a damn if you cheated on me. These are our kids, and you are my wife."
"Of course you care. If you're making me out to be a 'loose woman,' that means Marty is a--"
Out it came. "If you must know, it was Marty who was in 1955! 3-D was telling the truth! Are you happy now?!"
"Dr. Brown, we -- huh?"
All eyes turned to Doc, who was stunned at himself. He had expected just to yell at Lorraine and George for being so fricking annoying. Instead he had gone and shot his mouth off about the DeLorean! Mystie and Marty were gaping at him, obviously not believing they had just heard him give up their secret. And you call yourself a genius, he thought to himself reproachfully.
Lorraine and George were staring at him like he had completely lost his mind. "Doc, are you feeling all right?" Lorraine asked, her anger momentarily forgotten.
"Not really, but continue on," Doc mumbled.
"What on earth was that about?" George said, not hearing him. He turned his attention to his youngest for a moment. "Is this some sort of prank, Marty?"
Dave laughed, glad to have the tension broken, even briefly. "Marty in the 50s. Hey, bro, what were they like back then? You knew them."
"Dave, that's gross," Linda said, wrinkling her nose. "That would mean Mom -- well, eww."
"What prompted you to say that, Doc?" Lorraine urged, getting curious. "Did you just want us to stop fighting, or was--"
"Look, can we drop it?! I want to go home," Doc snapped, sounding like a five-year-old.
George began to chuckle. "Marty in 1955. I doubt he'd last a day back when we were teens."
"Hey, I bet I could last a week," Marty said, slightly offended. If Doc's gonna throw caution to the wind, I will too.
"Yeah, right. Go ahead, try talking to me like a teenager. I dare you. Call me George."
Marty glanced from George to Doc. Doc shrugged. Don't ask me; I shot my mouth off with no good reason. Just use your best judgement.
Marty looked at his father again. "I dunno. It would feel really weird."
"Come on, I dare ya. To keep us from yelling at each other." Lorraine shot him a look.
"Fine, George."
A weird look appeared on George's face. "Say something else."
"Like what? My name is Darth Vader, I am an extraterrestrial--" Marty began jokingly.
"From the planet Vulcan?" George squeaked out, eyes wide with shock.
"Oh, shit."
Mystie sighed and looked at her husband to be. "Looks like the secret's out, Emmett. If I may, you do the silliest things when you're mad."
"I fully acknowledge this was all my fault. I have no sense of moderation when it comes to issues like this."
"Okay, what the hell is going on?" Lorraine demanded. "It's obvious you've upset your father."
"It's like this, Lorraine. . . ."
Slowly, reluctantly, the three Time Trippers told the McFlys about the time machine. Lorraine fainted after being convinced Marty was indeed Calvin Klein and had to be revived. "Oh my God, that explains why you couldn't look me in the face for the rest of the day. . . ." She buried her face in her hands. "I'm so sorry!"
"It's okay, Mom," Marty said, feeling awkward. "It all turned out for the best. You should have seen yourselves before I time traveled." He described his own faded memories of the "Geeky McFlys," as he called them. Linda nearly choked on her marshmallows as he described the previous version of her. "Christ," she gasped, "was I really that bad?"
"You're saying you're better now?"
Linda threw a marshmallow at him. "You know what I mean!"
"Yeah, I guess. When you're not throwing shit at me."
George was extremely shaken. "So that explains 'Darth Vader.' It was you all along. What did you use for that 'heat ray?'"
"Doc packed a blow dryer. And he lent me some chloroform too, that's how we knocked you out."
"It worked very well," George told him sarcastically. "I woke up with a cramp in my back from sleeping with my head against the wall and my legs in the air."
"Hey, at least you got sleep. I was completely zoned out at school the next day."
"I wondered why you weren't -- er -- reacting," Lorraine said with a very deep blush. "I'm so very, very sorry."
George frowned. "Marty, at the dance, was Biff--?"
"NO."
"Thanks. I've been wondering that for 30 years. Nice to know it wasn't intentional." Then he got confused again. "But wait a minute, you just said you left 1955 the night of the dance. How come we saw you at Lou's three days later?"
"Biff got a time machine and decided to play with history," Mystie said. Dave, Linda, Lorraine, and George all grew very pale. "Don't worry, we trashed it. Emmett's modifying a few of the pieces we saved so we'll have replacement parts for our DeLorean."
"It was Biff, wasn't it!" George suddenly exploded. "Taking pot shots at me that day! Christ, he nearly killed me!"
"That was the whole point," Mysteria explained. "He's got terrible aim with a gun, lucky for you."
Linda suddenly laughed. "Hey, didn't Biff get that scar on his arm from someone shooting at him?"
Marty nodded. "Yup, the a-hole shot himself by accident."
George chuckled with the rest of the family, then stood up. "As much as I'd like to hear more about this time machine, I want to get out of here before 3-D comes back."
"He won't remember anything," Mystie assured him. "I took care of that."
"Even still, I don't want to risk running into him again. He might call reinforcements in on us. Besides, I want to end this vacation before you offer me up on a sacrificial altar." Everyone chuckled, but a few people seemed ready to consider that idea. "We leave at daybreak!"
"What is it with you and daybreak?" Linda complained.
"All right then, everybody pack! We're leaving now!"
There was a loud cheer, and everyone scattered to get their stuff. George and Lorraine kissed. "I'm sorry, honey," they apologized in unison. George, smiling, added, "But I meant what I said. I would never hold an affair against you. It was the thought of you with the person who helped us get together that--"
George's eyes went wide again. "THAT'S IT! That's my scene for my book! Where's paper; I need paper!!" He bolted in search of paper, leaving Lorraine laughing and shaking her head.
Soon everyone was packed and raring to go. Marty was the last to board the camper. "I had to say goodbye to Jennifer. She told me that we should use the DeLorean to prevent ourselves from going on this vacation."
"Trust me, if it didn't carry potentially severe risks, I would do so in a heartbeat."
"Come on, Dad, start this thing up and get us out of here!" Dave urged. "And where's my pen?"
"With all possible speed," Doc added. "It should be in your bag, right Dave?"
"We need a vacation from the vacation," Linda quipped.
"Yeah, I think so. What say tomorrow we all go to Super Splash Water World?" Everyone nodded enthusiastically. George visibly relaxed and started up the camper.
As the pulled out of the campground, Doc fell back against the wall, sighing deeply. "I can feel the bad vibrations dispersing already."
"Hey, this isn't my bag. I -- what the -- Mom, what are you doing with my order forms in -- DOC!!"
Doc looked at Marty miserably. "Maybe we need to get out on the highway to get rid of them."
The End