Hagrid- See Harry, I can magically appear anyplace I want.

Harry- I cannot overemphasise how much I need the fashion police.

Hagrid- Here it is, my favorite place, the bar.

Bartender- Hey look everyone, it's Harry Potter!

(All creepy looking extras put on a huge, shocked face)

Quirrel- My stuttering sounds forced.

Hagrid- Watch the amazing moving bricks

Harry- I can do that with Lego's!

Diagon Alley People- Toyland, Toyland, Little girl and boy land...

Harry- Too bad I'm broke.

Hagrid- Hehe, surprise!

Harry- Hey, how'd you get my key?

Hagrid- .... Um, yes, well here's an IOU. Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Harry- You spent 500 galleons on strippers?

Hagrid-... Anyway, ven conmigo! You can put your tuppence in the bank, Harry!

Harry- But I want to spend my tuppence!

Goblin- I am evil.

Harry- Woah, a mutated Furby!

Goblin- Grrr

Hagrid- See this little package Harry? I'm going to act as mysterious as possible about it.

Audience- Hey, how'd he get all that stuff? We saw no shopping!

Chris Columbus- Hello! I have to make time for my daughter, of course!

Harry- This store is creepy.

Ollivander- So am I!

Harry- Ben Parker?

Ollivander- Try this one!

( Exploding)

Harry- How about no?

Ollivander- Or this?

Harry- Nope.

Harry- Wow, this one makes me feel all tingly inside, or is that your Lizzie McGuire poster?

Ollivander (in a high pitched voice) I can't wait for the world to spin, I can't wait to be happenin'

(He slides around on his ladder)

Harry- Someone, kill me now.

Harry- Please, can I just have my wand?

Ollivander- Okely dokely. Stop by anytime, and we can play Convert the Heathens!

Harry- .....

Hagrid- Look what I got you Harry! Aren't I a nice friend?

Harry- An owl. I shall call him.....Mini-Me.