Worthless Love.
PG- because of negative view of love.
I am such a foolish man. I had believed that love was a beautiful thing.
Not something that hurts and breaks the heart. Proves how smart I am.
Why am I depressing over something that I can't feel anymore? It's a waste
of my time. Right? They all tell me to love again. Why? To be hurt again?
To be proven that love doesn't exist? I am told that I'm like cold snow. How
can you turn snow into flowers? You can't grow flowers in snow. Shigure
other day told me that I could love again. Just let the sun shine on my heart
again and a flower will bloom again. Just like the little flower at his house.
That little flower blossomed in his house and brought peace to his household.
That won't work with me. As much as that little flower might try, she can't
make me feel love again.
Well, that's what I wanted my heart to think. But it thought otherwise. The
second I first saw her, I thought ' she reminds me of her.' Tohru Honda.
She's going to be the downfall of the life I had created. As much as I want to
dislike her, I can't. My heart tells me to love the girl. I don't want to be hurt,
and I don't want her to be hurt. If I love her, Akito will find a way to destroy
me, her and the love.
I am positivily insane. I don't want to love her, but yet I still want to love
her. I'm arguing with something that I have tried to hide for a couple of
years. How stupid can I get. Yesterday, Ayame came up to me and
commented on my slowly melting heart. Teased me about loving Tohru.
Her soft hair, her baby soft skin, small full lips and that small petite body,
Oh God, I'm fantisizing over her. She's probably taken by Yuki or Kyo.
Should Shigure find out about this fantisizing, he'll tease me for life. Along
with Ayame. I'm a doctor, and my mind is slightly unstable. My choices are
being changed all because of my heart. I'm supposed to be ruled by the mind.
I feel bad about still being upset about Kana and at the same time, fantisizing
about another younger girl. Akito noticed my strange behavior today and
commented on it. "Hatori, you are thinking about something. It's making
you look unsure of what you are doing." then he asked, "Hatori, are you in
love with a girl again? Don't lie to me. I can feel it in your touch. Tell me
Hatori, are you? Is it Kisa? Kagura? Rin?" when I don't answer, he says,
"Or is it Tohru Honda?" I didn't answer but just walked out and saying to
get rest and eat everything that he gets on his lunch tray.
How could Akito know what I'm feeling? But even worse, how could he
think that I'm in love with Kisa like that? Or with Kagura or Rin? They are
my cousins and Kagura loves Kyo. Why hasn't Akito tried to break apart
Kagura and Kyo? Why must he pick on me? Is it a crime to love?
Apparently for me, it is. I can't love, can't show cry and can't express my
emotions. I'm a machine. Why must my life be like this? All this stress is
the reason to why I smoke. Everyone has asked me why I smoke and aren't I
a doctor? When someone is stresed they do things that are bad for their
health.
"Lossen up Hatori." they tell me, but how am I supposed to? I've been told
to be indifferent to the world. When I'm told to do something, I usually do it,
unless it's something stupid that Shigure or Ayame wants me to do.
Oh God, why must Love be so painful and confusing? Why cann't it be
sweet and simple? When I look at Hiro and Kisa, I think ' what a innocent
love they share. They don't know what pains others have to go through in
to get or have love.
Now that I think about it, I realize, who needs love? There are many people
who are living happily without loving any one. But then, do they have the
memories that I have? No. I'll forget about the worthless thing they call love
and live my life quietly. I won't hurt myself. And I won't hurt anyone else. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ************************************************************** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So how was it? It's kind of out of order, but I jusst put down whatever came into mind. That's how all my stories are. Review and tell me how this story was. If this seemed real weird, let me know, so then I'll neverr try to do an angst again. with love for the readers of this story, frozen tears
PG- because of negative view of love.
I am such a foolish man. I had believed that love was a beautiful thing.
Not something that hurts and breaks the heart. Proves how smart I am.
Why am I depressing over something that I can't feel anymore? It's a waste
of my time. Right? They all tell me to love again. Why? To be hurt again?
To be proven that love doesn't exist? I am told that I'm like cold snow. How
can you turn snow into flowers? You can't grow flowers in snow. Shigure
other day told me that I could love again. Just let the sun shine on my heart
again and a flower will bloom again. Just like the little flower at his house.
That little flower blossomed in his house and brought peace to his household.
That won't work with me. As much as that little flower might try, she can't
make me feel love again.
Well, that's what I wanted my heart to think. But it thought otherwise. The
second I first saw her, I thought ' she reminds me of her.' Tohru Honda.
She's going to be the downfall of the life I had created. As much as I want to
dislike her, I can't. My heart tells me to love the girl. I don't want to be hurt,
and I don't want her to be hurt. If I love her, Akito will find a way to destroy
me, her and the love.
I am positivily insane. I don't want to love her, but yet I still want to love
her. I'm arguing with something that I have tried to hide for a couple of
years. How stupid can I get. Yesterday, Ayame came up to me and
commented on my slowly melting heart. Teased me about loving Tohru.
Her soft hair, her baby soft skin, small full lips and that small petite body,
Oh God, I'm fantisizing over her. She's probably taken by Yuki or Kyo.
Should Shigure find out about this fantisizing, he'll tease me for life. Along
with Ayame. I'm a doctor, and my mind is slightly unstable. My choices are
being changed all because of my heart. I'm supposed to be ruled by the mind.
I feel bad about still being upset about Kana and at the same time, fantisizing
about another younger girl. Akito noticed my strange behavior today and
commented on it. "Hatori, you are thinking about something. It's making
you look unsure of what you are doing." then he asked, "Hatori, are you in
love with a girl again? Don't lie to me. I can feel it in your touch. Tell me
Hatori, are you? Is it Kisa? Kagura? Rin?" when I don't answer, he says,
"Or is it Tohru Honda?" I didn't answer but just walked out and saying to
get rest and eat everything that he gets on his lunch tray.
How could Akito know what I'm feeling? But even worse, how could he
think that I'm in love with Kisa like that? Or with Kagura or Rin? They are
my cousins and Kagura loves Kyo. Why hasn't Akito tried to break apart
Kagura and Kyo? Why must he pick on me? Is it a crime to love?
Apparently for me, it is. I can't love, can't show cry and can't express my
emotions. I'm a machine. Why must my life be like this? All this stress is
the reason to why I smoke. Everyone has asked me why I smoke and aren't I
a doctor? When someone is stresed they do things that are bad for their
health.
"Lossen up Hatori." they tell me, but how am I supposed to? I've been told
to be indifferent to the world. When I'm told to do something, I usually do it,
unless it's something stupid that Shigure or Ayame wants me to do.
Oh God, why must Love be so painful and confusing? Why cann't it be
sweet and simple? When I look at Hiro and Kisa, I think ' what a innocent
love they share. They don't know what pains others have to go through in
to get or have love.
Now that I think about it, I realize, who needs love? There are many people
who are living happily without loving any one. But then, do they have the
memories that I have? No. I'll forget about the worthless thing they call love
and live my life quietly. I won't hurt myself. And I won't hurt anyone else. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ************************************************************** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ So how was it? It's kind of out of order, but I jusst put down whatever came into mind. That's how all my stories are. Review and tell me how this story was. If this seemed real weird, let me know, so then I'll neverr try to do an angst again. with love for the readers of this story, frozen tears