Everything Important
Chapter Ten: Rude Awakenings
Abair sat calmly at the desk in the guesthouse. He finished speaking to the video camera and keyed the remote to stop recording. He pulled the tape out of the camera and placed it with the other he had recorded earlier for Rogue.
He put the camera back, in to it's case and closed it. Then he set it off to the side of the table.
All his clothes were in his suitcase. The room was very much as he first found it with the one exception being the plastic tarp he had laid over the bed.
The room was lit now only by the small desk lamp. He opened a prescription pill bottle.
Reciting the words of Trent Reznor (of Nine Inch Nails fame) – he lined the pills up – along the desk – one pill, per word.
"Bow … Down …" He said slowly and deliberately in his own time.
"Be … fore … the … one … you … serve …"
He cast his eyes over to the water pitcher and glass that sat on the tray to his right.
"You're … going … "
He smiled warmly, honestly, and felt immersed in love for the world and for every moment he ever walked it.
"To … get … what …"
His voice broke.
"You …"
He smiled sadly, and wanly – thinking of Rogue – but knowing he said all he could.
"De … serve …" He said, laying the last two pills in the line.
Then, absently, as though from habit or hypnotism, he reached for the water.
Forty minutes later – The Professor and Jean each woke simultaneously, on opposite sides of the mansion, each with a terrible gasp.
When Rogue woke up the next morning, Kitty was already gone.
Why didn't she wake me? Rogue wondered.
So Abair's gone. She told herself. But it was wonderful while it lasted. She smiled, genuinely. And he would have stayed – if he could – Ah know it.
Rogue opened the hallway door and found Professor Xavier sitting just outside her room. "Good morning Rogue." He said quickly. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news."
Rogue took three steps back and let herself drop backward to sit on her bed. It would have to be bad for the Professor to want to tell me himself …
Xavier wheeled in to her room and closed the door behind him. Rogue briefly wondered if something had happened to Kitty.
"There are a few things you don't know about Abair." He said plainly. "He was very sick. And getting sicker." He explained. "He was supposed to enter a cryogenic preservation chamber late last night." He shook his head. "But instead, he took a large dose of sleeping pills."
"What?" Rogue began to tremble.
"He recorded some video tapes – one for you and one for me." He had to steady himself. "I took the precaution of previewing yours – I'm sorry if you feel this was intrusive." He took a deep breath and handed her the tape.
"But, " She said. "He's alright, or going to be alright, isn't he?"
She searched his face for an answer other than the obvious one.
"No." Charles said at last. "He's gone. He passed away last night."
And the news hit Rogue like a ton of bricks from above. Her knees gave out and she slid off the bed to the floor, kneeling before Xavier's chair.
For a moment he was afraid that she was slipping away mentally – as she had in her coma – which had been triggered by an inherited memory of such a close death.
"Rogue." He whispered, reaching out and taking her by the arm. It was only then that she realized he was wearing leather gloves.
He pulled her towards him and she leaned in, still in shock.
A moment later she realized that she was crying, collapsed on Xavier's lap while he held her, softly speaking small words of comfort.
"Ah'm sorry, Professor."
""Don't be." He shook his head. "Your feelings show your merit." He told her. "But I think you should hear the rest of this directly from Abair."
She cast her eyes back to the tape. "Ah don't know." She was shaking.
"I think it was very important to him that you know the whole story." He told her. "And, having already seen the tape, I can attest to its truthfulness."
She swallowed, hesitantly. "Can I, Can I watch it alone?" She asked.
"Of course." He told her. "Just … I am concerned for you Rogue." He shook his head. "And I feel very responsible for your contact with Abair." He finished.
"Then thank you." She said in a controlled tone. "Because I wouldn't have it any other way. No matter what stupid thing he's done …" She set her teeth in anger as she finished the sentence.
How I can forgive him for hurting you like this? Xavier thought. Ever?
"Are you alright Professor?" She asked, seeing an unfamiliar expression on his face.
"Fine." He lied. "And please call me … when you're done … or when you need to …"
"S-sure." She said softly, wanting to scream.
He lifted his chin and smiled warmly with a look of deep regret and sadness. Then he left the room, quietly.
Rogue didn't come out until the next day.