Crowd: Baldy! Baldy! Baldy!
*The camera skims through the crowd, showing the same old trailer trash people, cheering*
Crowd: Baldy! Baldy! Baldy!
Steve: Wow! Thank you! Thank you all! Welcome to "THE EX-GUARD NOW TALKSHOW HOST STEVE SHOW"! Today is a special "THE EX-GUARD NOW TALKSHOW HOST STEVE SHOW". I will be bringing back our most unforgettable guest from the Late Jerry Springer Show to see how they are doing. As you all may know, Jerry, God bless his soul, has recently passed away.
Crowd: Boo-whoooo-whoooo!
Steve: *sniffle* I know! He was my buddy! *sniffle*
Women #1: Yeah! I got his underwear! I'll never forget him!
Women #2: YOU?! You were the one that got them?! Why I oughta!
Women #1: Do it then!
*Miroku runs out from back stage*
Miroku: Ladies, ladies. Please. Why don't we go to the backroom and talk about this?
*A fat lady, weighing in at about 400lbs, stands and winks at the monk*
Women #3: I got something we can talk about, bucko, we can share a 6 pack and chat, if ya know what I mean-hehe.
Miroku: Ya know? On second thought, I'm kinda busy, you know, hehe, and um, well, they're about to call us out. Heh, bye!
* Cameras follow Miroku as he runs backstage, looking like he was bout ready to puke. Sango and Kagome step up to him and start rubbing him on the back*
Sango: There, there.
Kagome: That should teach you not to hit on every girl you see. You might get more than you bargain for.
Inu-yasha: Feh. About 300lbs more than you bargain for.
*Miroku, with his demon possessed hand, seizes the moment to grope the girls* Kagome: EEEEE!
Sango: MONK!
*Inu-yasha hits him on the head*
Inu-yasha: That was dumb, monk.
Miroku: It was worth the pain.
Inu-yasha: Yeah, well, next time ya do it, you won't be able to figure if it was worth the pain or not.
Miroku: ouch.
*Camera's now shows Steve standing in between the two girls, still fighting over the underwear, trying to referee the fight.
Steve: Ladies! To solve the problem, I'll give one of you MY underwear! How's that?
Women #1 & 2: REALLY?
Steve: Yeah.
Women #1: Here. You can have Jerry's, I want Steve's.
Women #2: No! I want Steve's!
Steve: Aw! Forget them. Let's welcome our first set of guest! Inu-yasha and Kagome!
*Inu-yasha and Kagome can be seen walking out, holding hands, smiling.*
Crowd: Awwwww!
Steve: Welcome back.
Kagome: Thanks Steve!
Steve: Wow. You sound happy. Looking at you two, every thing seems to be well. How's life?
Kagome: GREAT!
Inu-yasha: Feh.
Steve: Oh? You don't agree, Inu-yasha? Inu-yasha: Of course not.
Kagome: What? What's the matter?
Inu-yasha: It's not you. It's that dumb monk. Now that we are going-out, or, um, I think we are.
Kagome: *Giggle* He's so cute.
Women #4: That he is!
Kagome: What? What did you say? Don't look at him. Eye's off! Taken property!
Inu-yasha: Kagome, it's ok.
Women #4: He'd take me over you any day, honey.
Kagome: Wanna bet?!
Women #4: What if I do?!
*Women #4 walks down out of the crowd onto the stage*
Kagome: You better sit down if you know what's good for you.
Women #4: Hey there, hottie. How's it going?
Inu-yasha: Um, uh, um.
Women #4: How about smashing this joint, and you and I go watch Fear Factor?
Inu-yasha: Um.
*The Women bends down, right in front of Inu-yasha
Women #4: Please?
Kagome: I said! You better sit down if you know what's good for you.
Women #4: I don't know what's good for me. Why don't you tell me shortcake?
*Kagome runs full speed into the woman*
Kagome: YOU ASKED FOR IT, YOU WENCH!
*They crash into the chairs and fly over the back of them. Miroku and Sango walk out.*
Miroku: Wow. Where did Kagome learn those moves?
Inu-yasha: Don't ask me.
*Sango blows on her nails, then rubs them on her blouse*
Sango: Heh. She's been training.
*Kagome picks the woman up and slams her into the wall. The set falls over.*
Inu-yasha: I'd say.
Steve: HEY! Where's my guard? Who's going to separate those two?! They're going to tear the whole place up!
Inu-yasha: Thata girl, Kagome! Right hook! Left-upper-cut! Go girl!
Miroku: Should I break them up?
Inu-yasha: What for? As long as Kagome's not getting hurt, all's well. She's just getting a little excersise.
*Kagome throws the woman down on the ground. She sits on her stomach and starts banging the back of the woman's head onto the concrete floor.*
Kagome: EEEEE! Don't ever say anything like that to me ever again. He's Mine! MINE! MINE!!!!!!!!!!
*Inu-yasha runs over to her and pulls her off of the woman*
Inu-yasha: Okay. Okay. I think she understands that you don't want her looking at me.
Miroku: I don't think she's heard anything Kagome's said since they flew over the back of the chairs.
Kagome: huff, huff, huff.
Steve: Okay. Well. Time for a commercial I guess. Be right back.
*Screen fades to a Pikachu, eating a piece of Juicy Fruit Gum*
Pikachu: Pika?
Ash: Hey there Pikachu! Can I have a piece of Juicy Fruit Gum?
Pikachu: Pika!
Ash: No?! Come on, Pikachu. Please?!
Pikachu: PIKA!
Ash: Give me a piece!
Pikachu: PI-KA-CHU!!!!!!!
*A flash of lightning is seen flying out of the small creature, zapping the boy*
Ash: owwwww.
Pikachu: Chuuuuu.
*Pikachu skips away, happily humming the Pokemon theme song.*
Juicy Fruit Man: Pick up a pack of Juicy Fruit Gum, and stop Moochers from stealing YOUR gum. Pikachu not included.
Pikachu: Chu?
*Screen fades back to Steve, now standing over his new and fully destroyed set.*
Steve: Look at my beautiful set! It's ruined! RUINED!
Miroku: I think we better leave now.
Inu-yasha: Coward.
Steve: GET THEM! DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY! THEY RUINED MY SET! MY BEAUTIFUL SET!
*The crowd starts running towards our heros*
Inu-yasha: On second thought-
*Inu-yasha grabs Kagome and takes off towards the doors. Miroku reaches for Sango, but she slaps him and starts running for the door*
Sango: Notice, Inu-yasha grabbed her hand, not her rear.
Miroku: Right. *A day after the show on the set*
Steve: MY STAGE. OH MY WONDERFUL STAGE!
*Kikyo steps out of the darkness*
Kikyo: Have you seen Inu-yasha? I know I can't be far behind! I can feel him.
Steve: AHHHHH! PHSYCO WOMAN! RUN! RUN! RUN!!!!!!!!
Kikyo: Hmmm. Why is everyone in this building running from me?
*The camera skims through the crowd, showing the same old trailer trash people, cheering*
Crowd: Baldy! Baldy! Baldy!
Steve: Wow! Thank you! Thank you all! Welcome to "THE EX-GUARD NOW TALKSHOW HOST STEVE SHOW"! Today is a special "THE EX-GUARD NOW TALKSHOW HOST STEVE SHOW". I will be bringing back our most unforgettable guest from the Late Jerry Springer Show to see how they are doing. As you all may know, Jerry, God bless his soul, has recently passed away.
Crowd: Boo-whoooo-whoooo!
Steve: *sniffle* I know! He was my buddy! *sniffle*
Women #1: Yeah! I got his underwear! I'll never forget him!
Women #2: YOU?! You were the one that got them?! Why I oughta!
Women #1: Do it then!
*Miroku runs out from back stage*
Miroku: Ladies, ladies. Please. Why don't we go to the backroom and talk about this?
*A fat lady, weighing in at about 400lbs, stands and winks at the monk*
Women #3: I got something we can talk about, bucko, we can share a 6 pack and chat, if ya know what I mean-hehe.
Miroku: Ya know? On second thought, I'm kinda busy, you know, hehe, and um, well, they're about to call us out. Heh, bye!
* Cameras follow Miroku as he runs backstage, looking like he was bout ready to puke. Sango and Kagome step up to him and start rubbing him on the back*
Sango: There, there.
Kagome: That should teach you not to hit on every girl you see. You might get more than you bargain for.
Inu-yasha: Feh. About 300lbs more than you bargain for.
*Miroku, with his demon possessed hand, seizes the moment to grope the girls* Kagome: EEEEE!
Sango: MONK!
*Inu-yasha hits him on the head*
Inu-yasha: That was dumb, monk.
Miroku: It was worth the pain.
Inu-yasha: Yeah, well, next time ya do it, you won't be able to figure if it was worth the pain or not.
Miroku: ouch.
*Camera's now shows Steve standing in between the two girls, still fighting over the underwear, trying to referee the fight.
Steve: Ladies! To solve the problem, I'll give one of you MY underwear! How's that?
Women #1 & 2: REALLY?
Steve: Yeah.
Women #1: Here. You can have Jerry's, I want Steve's.
Women #2: No! I want Steve's!
Steve: Aw! Forget them. Let's welcome our first set of guest! Inu-yasha and Kagome!
*Inu-yasha and Kagome can be seen walking out, holding hands, smiling.*
Crowd: Awwwww!
Steve: Welcome back.
Kagome: Thanks Steve!
Steve: Wow. You sound happy. Looking at you two, every thing seems to be well. How's life?
Kagome: GREAT!
Inu-yasha: Feh.
Steve: Oh? You don't agree, Inu-yasha? Inu-yasha: Of course not.
Kagome: What? What's the matter?
Inu-yasha: It's not you. It's that dumb monk. Now that we are going-out, or, um, I think we are.
Kagome: *Giggle* He's so cute.
Women #4: That he is!
Kagome: What? What did you say? Don't look at him. Eye's off! Taken property!
Inu-yasha: Kagome, it's ok.
Women #4: He'd take me over you any day, honey.
Kagome: Wanna bet?!
Women #4: What if I do?!
*Women #4 walks down out of the crowd onto the stage*
Kagome: You better sit down if you know what's good for you.
Women #4: Hey there, hottie. How's it going?
Inu-yasha: Um, uh, um.
Women #4: How about smashing this joint, and you and I go watch Fear Factor?
Inu-yasha: Um.
*The Women bends down, right in front of Inu-yasha
Women #4: Please?
Kagome: I said! You better sit down if you know what's good for you.
Women #4: I don't know what's good for me. Why don't you tell me shortcake?
*Kagome runs full speed into the woman*
Kagome: YOU ASKED FOR IT, YOU WENCH!
*They crash into the chairs and fly over the back of them. Miroku and Sango walk out.*
Miroku: Wow. Where did Kagome learn those moves?
Inu-yasha: Don't ask me.
*Sango blows on her nails, then rubs them on her blouse*
Sango: Heh. She's been training.
*Kagome picks the woman up and slams her into the wall. The set falls over.*
Inu-yasha: I'd say.
Steve: HEY! Where's my guard? Who's going to separate those two?! They're going to tear the whole place up!
Inu-yasha: Thata girl, Kagome! Right hook! Left-upper-cut! Go girl!
Miroku: Should I break them up?
Inu-yasha: What for? As long as Kagome's not getting hurt, all's well. She's just getting a little excersise.
*Kagome throws the woman down on the ground. She sits on her stomach and starts banging the back of the woman's head onto the concrete floor.*
Kagome: EEEEE! Don't ever say anything like that to me ever again. He's Mine! MINE! MINE!!!!!!!!!!
*Inu-yasha runs over to her and pulls her off of the woman*
Inu-yasha: Okay. Okay. I think she understands that you don't want her looking at me.
Miroku: I don't think she's heard anything Kagome's said since they flew over the back of the chairs.
Kagome: huff, huff, huff.
Steve: Okay. Well. Time for a commercial I guess. Be right back.
*Screen fades to a Pikachu, eating a piece of Juicy Fruit Gum*
Pikachu: Pika?
Ash: Hey there Pikachu! Can I have a piece of Juicy Fruit Gum?
Pikachu: Pika!
Ash: No?! Come on, Pikachu. Please?!
Pikachu: PIKA!
Ash: Give me a piece!
Pikachu: PI-KA-CHU!!!!!!!
*A flash of lightning is seen flying out of the small creature, zapping the boy*
Ash: owwwww.
Pikachu: Chuuuuu.
*Pikachu skips away, happily humming the Pokemon theme song.*
Juicy Fruit Man: Pick up a pack of Juicy Fruit Gum, and stop Moochers from stealing YOUR gum. Pikachu not included.
Pikachu: Chu?
*Screen fades back to Steve, now standing over his new and fully destroyed set.*
Steve: Look at my beautiful set! It's ruined! RUINED!
Miroku: I think we better leave now.
Inu-yasha: Coward.
Steve: GET THEM! DON'T LET THEM GET AWAY! THEY RUINED MY SET! MY BEAUTIFUL SET!
*The crowd starts running towards our heros*
Inu-yasha: On second thought-
*Inu-yasha grabs Kagome and takes off towards the doors. Miroku reaches for Sango, but she slaps him and starts running for the door*
Sango: Notice, Inu-yasha grabbed her hand, not her rear.
Miroku: Right. *A day after the show on the set*
Steve: MY STAGE. OH MY WONDERFUL STAGE!
*Kikyo steps out of the darkness*
Kikyo: Have you seen Inu-yasha? I know I can't be far behind! I can feel him.
Steve: AHHHHH! PHSYCO WOMAN! RUN! RUN! RUN!!!!!!!!
Kikyo: Hmmm. Why is everyone in this building running from me?