Chapter 14: Substitution Anxiety
Luke stared at the girl for a long moment, trying to reconcile the impossible with the obvious. After a moment, something about the girl's eyes struck him as different. This was quickly followed by several other subtle differences, then finally the realization that the person in front of him looked about five years younger than the last time he saw Rachel.
Luke finally began to fit the pieces into place. He pointed a finger at the girl in front of him and said, "You're, Virginia, right? Rachel's sister?"
The girl smiled at him and said, "It's Regina and yes, Rachel was my older sister. It's nice that you remember me, Luke."
"Of course, I remember you," Luke smiled. "You used to visit Rachel all the time, and I came with her when you graduated from Northwestern."
Regina smiled shyly and with a shrug asked, "So then can I get a hug?"
Luke paused a second then smiled nervously and said, "Oh, well sure." He self-consciously stepped up and they embraced, for a long moment. Luke couldn't help notice that it was almost like he had his arms around Rachel again. He closed his eyes, letting himself get caught up in the moment, and then suddenly a massive wave of guilt hit him. His eyes popped open and he was unsure if he was cheating on Lorelai, Rachel, or both. He suddenly realized just how many things he had to get sorted out.
Luke released Regina, stepped back and asked, "So, how are you doing?"
The question hung between them for a long second before Luke said, "Oh, jeez. What a stupid question. I am so sorry."
Regina smiled and said, "No, it's not a stupid question. I'm doing fine. I live in Chicago now. How are you?
"I'm good."
"Last time I spoke with Rachel, you still owned that diner. How's that going?"
"The diner's fine, keeps me busy."
"That's great. You know, I've never had pancakes as good as yours. You'll have to teach me how you do it."
"Sure, I can do that." Silence hung between them for a moment, till Luke asked, "So, how are your parents doing?"
Regina rolled her eyes and said, "They're fighting as usual. They've been divorced for fifteen years, you'd think they could get along for a little while."
Luke shrugged and said, "Well, different people have different ways of dealing with the pain and grief."
Regina nodded and replied, "I guess they do. How do you deal with it, Luke?"
Luke looked at his shoes and remembering the incident last night in Lorelai's kitchen, said, "Peanut butter."
"Peanut butter?" Regina responded, confused. "You eat peanut butter?"
Luke shook his head and said, "No, not exactly. Can we not talk about this right now?"
"Sure." Regina stepped up to Luke and took his arm. "Ready to go in?"
Luke took a deep breath and then said, "Yeah."
Regina led Luke into the room. At the far end of the room, Luke could see the casket, partially obscured by other mourners. Luke noted that the casket appeared to be a highly polished dark wood. Luke nodded, thinking that Rachel would approve. Standing next to the casket he recognized Rachel's parents, Gene and Alice. Feeling numb, Luke allowed Regina to guide him towards the front of the room.
As they neared the front some of the milling people moved out of the way allowing Luke to view the entire casket. Behind the casket was a large picture of a smiling Rachel. But something else he saw caused Luke to stop in his tracks.
"What's the matter, Luke?" Regina asked.
"I… I didn't realize that it would be closed casket. I…"
"Oh, I'm sorry," Regina apologized. "I thought you knew."
"That's okay, I should have realized."
Regina nodded then asked, "Are you okay?"
Luke took a deep breath then said, "Yeah, I'm fine."
Still holding Luke's arm, Regina started walking again, forcing Luke to follow along. She smiled at him and said, "Come on. I think my parents will be pleased to see you."
Luke stared at the girl for a long moment, trying to reconcile the impossible with the obvious. After a moment, something about the girl's eyes struck him as different. This was quickly followed by several other subtle differences, then finally the realization that the person in front of him looked about five years younger than the last time he saw Rachel.
Luke finally began to fit the pieces into place. He pointed a finger at the girl in front of him and said, "You're, Virginia, right? Rachel's sister?"
The girl smiled at him and said, "It's Regina and yes, Rachel was my older sister. It's nice that you remember me, Luke."
"Of course, I remember you," Luke smiled. "You used to visit Rachel all the time, and I came with her when you graduated from Northwestern."
Regina smiled shyly and with a shrug asked, "So then can I get a hug?"
Luke paused a second then smiled nervously and said, "Oh, well sure." He self-consciously stepped up and they embraced, for a long moment. Luke couldn't help notice that it was almost like he had his arms around Rachel again. He closed his eyes, letting himself get caught up in the moment, and then suddenly a massive wave of guilt hit him. His eyes popped open and he was unsure if he was cheating on Lorelai, Rachel, or both. He suddenly realized just how many things he had to get sorted out.
Luke released Regina, stepped back and asked, "So, how are you doing?"
The question hung between them for a long second before Luke said, "Oh, jeez. What a stupid question. I am so sorry."
Regina smiled and said, "No, it's not a stupid question. I'm doing fine. I live in Chicago now. How are you?
"I'm good."
"Last time I spoke with Rachel, you still owned that diner. How's that going?"
"The diner's fine, keeps me busy."
"That's great. You know, I've never had pancakes as good as yours. You'll have to teach me how you do it."
"Sure, I can do that." Silence hung between them for a moment, till Luke asked, "So, how are your parents doing?"
Regina rolled her eyes and said, "They're fighting as usual. They've been divorced for fifteen years, you'd think they could get along for a little while."
Luke shrugged and said, "Well, different people have different ways of dealing with the pain and grief."
Regina nodded and replied, "I guess they do. How do you deal with it, Luke?"
Luke looked at his shoes and remembering the incident last night in Lorelai's kitchen, said, "Peanut butter."
"Peanut butter?" Regina responded, confused. "You eat peanut butter?"
Luke shook his head and said, "No, not exactly. Can we not talk about this right now?"
"Sure." Regina stepped up to Luke and took his arm. "Ready to go in?"
Luke took a deep breath and then said, "Yeah."
Regina led Luke into the room. At the far end of the room, Luke could see the casket, partially obscured by other mourners. Luke noted that the casket appeared to be a highly polished dark wood. Luke nodded, thinking that Rachel would approve. Standing next to the casket he recognized Rachel's parents, Gene and Alice. Feeling numb, Luke allowed Regina to guide him towards the front of the room.
As they neared the front some of the milling people moved out of the way allowing Luke to view the entire casket. Behind the casket was a large picture of a smiling Rachel. But something else he saw caused Luke to stop in his tracks.
"What's the matter, Luke?" Regina asked.
"I… I didn't realize that it would be closed casket. I…"
"Oh, I'm sorry," Regina apologized. "I thought you knew."
"That's okay, I should have realized."
Regina nodded then asked, "Are you okay?"
Luke took a deep breath then said, "Yeah, I'm fine."
Still holding Luke's arm, Regina started walking again, forcing Luke to follow along. She smiled at him and said, "Come on. I think my parents will be pleased to see you."