Chapter 16: The Shirt Off My Back
From the driver's seat of her mother's SUV, Rory listened as her mother softly cried. She had to force herself to remain calm when she thought about the way her grandmother had verbally abused her mom. Emily had been in rare form tonight, calling Lorelai incredibly stupid for allowing Luke to go traipsing off to see some old girlfriend. It didn't matter if Rachel was dead or not, it was practically cheating to do so.
What had really bothered Rory is that her mother had allowed it to happen. Rory had always admired the way her mother could go toe to toe with Emily in their verbal sparring matches. Lorelai almost always gave at least as good as she got. That had not been the case tonight. For nearly an hour, Lorelai had just sat on the couch, taking the abuse from Emily, while wiping away an occasional tear.
Finally, Rory had to intervene and get her mother out of that house. Then five minutes after they left, Lorelai pulled to the side of the road, and asked Rory to drive because she was crying so hard she couldn't see. They had spent the next half hour holding hands in near silence, except for Lorelai's occasional sniffles.
When she parked the SUV in front of her mother's house, Rory asked, "Are you going to be alright?"
Lorelai sniffed and used a tissue to try and wipe her eyes. She nodded and said, "Yeah, I'll be fine."
After they had gotten out of the vehicle and started towards the house, Rory said, "I just can't believe how mean Grandma was tonight."
"Yeah, she was in rare form." Lorelai smiled at Rory and said, "But so were you. You really let her have it."
Rory grimaced and asked, "Was it that bad?"
"You told her she was being mean and insensitive," Lorelai started. "Then you asked her if she even had a clue what the word compassion meant?"
Rory sighed and said, "It was bad."
"You left her speechless, and believe me when I say that is quite an accomplishment."
They arrived at the door as Rory said, "She'll probably hate me now."
"No, you'll be fine. By tomorrow, she'll have figured out a way to make everything my fault."
Once inside, Lorelai looked at the answering machine and noted a flashing message light. She pushed the play button and heard Luke's voice, "Ah, hi. It's me. I just thought you might be home, but I guess not. Anyway, if you feel like it give me a call on the cell. Love ya. Bye."
Rory looked at the mother and asked, "Are you gonna call him?"
"Yeah, I'll give him a call after I get into some comfy clothes."
"Well," Rory started, "I'm sure you'll feel better when you talk to Luke." Rory pointed towards her room, and said, "I'm going to get changed and do some school work."
Lorelai nodded, and Rory turned towards her room, but Lorelai stopped her, "Oh, Rory."
Rory turned back towards her mother and asked, "Yeah?"
Lorelai's lower lip quivered as she said, "I'm really glad you're here. Thanks."
Rory watched as the tears started to flow down Lorelai's cheeks. She wrapped her arms around her mother. Lorelai rested her head on Rory's shoulder and sobbed once, while Rory stroked her head.
After a moment, Lorelai stepped back wiped at the tears with her hand and said, "I'm sorry, I just can't seem to stop that tonight."
"That's alright, Mom, this must be really hard for you."
Lorelai nodded in response.
Rory placed a hand on Lorelai's shoulder and said, "We'll get through this." Lorelai shrugged in response so Rory continued, "Okay, go upstairs and put on some sweats, then call Luke. Then after you get off the phone, we can fill up on ice cream, okay?
Fifteen minutes later, Lorelai now dressed in sweats and a t-shirt picked up the phone and sat down on the couch. She propped her feet on the coffee table as she dialed Luke's cell number. While she listened to the phone ring, she grabbed the afghan, and put it over her feet.
After four rings, the phone had not been picked up and switched over to voicemail. Luke had never recorded a greeting, so she got the canned request to leave a message. Surprised that Luke had not picked up, she said, "Hi, sweetie. It's me, Lorelai, but you better know that cause no one else should be calling you sweetie. Anyway, I'm home, and if you get this and feel like talking, I'll be up for a while. So, bye. Love you."
As Lorelai started to turn off the cordless, she was wondering why Luke didn't answer the phone. Her pondering was cut short when the phone rang in her hand. She turned on the phone, held it to her ear and said, "Hello?"
"Hi, did you just call?" Lorelai heard Luke say over the phone.
"Yeah, I did. I left you a voicemail."
"I'm sorry," Luke said. "I fell asleep, and by the time I got to the phone you were gone."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."
"No, I'm glad you did," Luke replied. "I fell asleep at a weird angle watching TV. You just saved me from a massive stiff neck."
"Well, glad to be of service."
"I saw the flowers you sent. They were real nice," Luke acknowledged.
"No problem."
"I'm glad you thought of sending some, cause I sure didn't"
"Well, you've had other stuff on your mind."
"So, can I ask why you didn't sign both of our names, instead of just mine?" Luke asked.
"I don't know it just seemed like they should be from just you. You're not mad, are you?" Lorelai asked.
"No, either way is fine. I just wanted to thank you," Luke replied.
"You're welcome."
"So, how was dinner at your folks?" Luke asked.
"Awful, horrible, and terrible."
"So, just about the usual."
"Oh no, this was ten times worse," Lorelai said. "This was a hundred times worse. This was…"
"Okay, I think I get the picture. What happened?"
Lorelai rested her forehead in her hand and sighed," Oh, Luke, it was terrible. My mother started on me almost as soon as we walked in the door, and it didn't stop for over two and a half hours."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"And the worst part of it is I just sat there and let her do it. Rory had to save me."
"Rory?" asked Luke.
"Yes, she stood up and told my mother to shut up."
"Really?"
"Yep. And she threw in quite a few colorful words in for good measure."
"Really? I've never heard Rory use aaa… colorful language."
"Well, she did," Lorelai declared. "And I think she picked it up from you, cause I sure as hell… I mean, heck, don't talk like that."
"No, your language is always rated G."
"Damn straight."
"So, was Rory really using colorful language?"
"Yeah, right," Lorelai replied. "Come on, this is Rory we're talking about."
"So, what was your mom angry about?" Luke asked.
Lorelai paused before she sighed and said, "You."
"Me?" Luke asked. "What did I do?"
Lorelai explained as well as she could Emily's rants. Once she finished, Luke sighed and said, "Lorelai, I am so sorry. I feel responsible."
"No, Luke," Lorelai replied, "It's not you. It's just my mother being… Well, my mother."
They were silent for a moment, before Lorelai said, "But I at least got a new dress."
"You did?"
"Yeah, I figured that since I had to go to my mother's, I deserved something nice."
"That's good, you deserve it."
"I'm glad you think so," Lorelai started, "because I needed new shoes to go with the dress, and I saw this great bag. And they were on sale so I bought three pairs of pantyhose."
"You bought all that stuff?"
"No, not really," Lorelai replied.
"Good," Luke said sounding relieved.
"Yeah, I only got two pairs of hose."
"Ah, well, I'm glad you restrained yourself," Luke said.
"So, how was your evening?" Lorelai asked.
Luke sighed then said, "Believe it or not, it may have been less fun than yours."
"Really?" Lorelai asked. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Well," Luke started. "First I thought I saw Rachel, alive."
"What!?"
"It turned out to be her younger sister Regina. But I swear that at first glance, she looked just like Rachel."
"Wow, that must have been spooky."
"Yeah, but that was just the start."
"Really? What else?"
"Well, I hadn't expected a closed casket."
"Oh, my God. I hadn't even considered that."
"Yeah, me neither, but it stands to reason."
"How do you feel about that?" Lorelai asked.
Luke paused for a second before he answered, "I don't know. One part of me thinks that if I see her there it will help me with, what did you call it? Oh, yeah, closure."
"Uh-huh."
"But on the other hand, I think if I saw her like… like that, I don't think I could bear it."
Tears started down Lorelai's cheeks again. She reached for a tissue as she said, "Uh-huh."
"Then I spoke with her parents, they were like oh it's so good to see you, and they start introducing me as Rachel's boyfriend. I tried to explain to them that Rachel and I weren't together and that you and I are getting married in June, but…"
"But, what, honey?"
"It's like they heard me but wouldn't acknowledge it. I've never met anyone that much in denial."
Lorelai chuckled, and managing to hide the sarcasm, said, "Yeah, me, neither."
"And now they are insisting that I come meet them in the morning and ride in the family limo to the service."
"That's real nice of them, Luke."
"I don't know, it feels wrong, I'm not family." Luke paused for a moment then continued, "I don't know, maybe I should…"
"Should what?"
"Maybe I should just say forget it all, and get on a plane in the morning back to Hartford."
Lorelai wanted to shout agreement into the phone, but instead she said, "Oh, Luke, you don't want to do that. If you do that, you'll regret it later."
"I don't know."
"Luke, it's just one more day. You'll be sorry if you don't stay."
Luke was quiet for a long moment before. Eventually he replied, "Yeah, I suppose you're right."
"Hey. Aren't I always right?"
"It happens from time to time, but not too often."
They spent the next ten minutes exchanging their own unique brand of banter. Finally, Lorelai said, "I better let you get back to sleep. You got a rough day ahead of you tomorrow."
"I don't know, are you sure I can't just come home?"
"Good night, Luke. I love you."
"I love you too, Lorelai."
"I love you more," Lorelai taunted.
"Good night, Lorelai. I'll talk to you tomorrow," Luke said and then he was gone.
Lorelai turned off the cordless and reached for another tissue. As she sat the phone on the coffee table, she noticed the small pile of tissues sitting beside her. She finished wiping her eyes, then stood up and walked into the kitchen.
Once she threw away the tissues, she stood in thought. After a moment, she walked into Rory's room and sat on the bed. "Hey, kiddo."
Rory smiled at her and said, "Hey back at ya. How's Luke?"
Lorelai fluffed her hair and sounding very aloof said, "He's fine but he misses me terribly."
"Of course, who wouldn't?" Rory closed her book and asked, "So you want to watch a movie or something?"
Lorelai reached out and rubbed Rory's knee and said, "No, I think I'm kinda tired. I'm just going to go to bed."
"Are you sure?"
Lorelai stood up and said, "Yeah, I just want to go to sleep."
"Okay, just as long as you're not planning on going to you room and cry alone. That's not healthy."
"Nope. I'm just going to go to sleep.
"Alright. See you in the morning."
"Night, sweetie," Lorelai said as she left Rory's room.
A minute later, Lorelai sat quietly on the end of her bed, staring at the floor. After a couple more minutes, she sighed and looked around the room. She stood and walked to a basket of clean laundry. She reached into the basket and pulled out one of Luke's shirts. She smelt the shirt, recognizing Luke's scent.
With the shirt in hand, she turned off the light. She climbed into bed, and lay on her side. Holding Luke's shirt close to her chest, she quietly cried herself to sleep.
From the driver's seat of her mother's SUV, Rory listened as her mother softly cried. She had to force herself to remain calm when she thought about the way her grandmother had verbally abused her mom. Emily had been in rare form tonight, calling Lorelai incredibly stupid for allowing Luke to go traipsing off to see some old girlfriend. It didn't matter if Rachel was dead or not, it was practically cheating to do so.
What had really bothered Rory is that her mother had allowed it to happen. Rory had always admired the way her mother could go toe to toe with Emily in their verbal sparring matches. Lorelai almost always gave at least as good as she got. That had not been the case tonight. For nearly an hour, Lorelai had just sat on the couch, taking the abuse from Emily, while wiping away an occasional tear.
Finally, Rory had to intervene and get her mother out of that house. Then five minutes after they left, Lorelai pulled to the side of the road, and asked Rory to drive because she was crying so hard she couldn't see. They had spent the next half hour holding hands in near silence, except for Lorelai's occasional sniffles.
When she parked the SUV in front of her mother's house, Rory asked, "Are you going to be alright?"
Lorelai sniffed and used a tissue to try and wipe her eyes. She nodded and said, "Yeah, I'll be fine."
After they had gotten out of the vehicle and started towards the house, Rory said, "I just can't believe how mean Grandma was tonight."
"Yeah, she was in rare form." Lorelai smiled at Rory and said, "But so were you. You really let her have it."
Rory grimaced and asked, "Was it that bad?"
"You told her she was being mean and insensitive," Lorelai started. "Then you asked her if she even had a clue what the word compassion meant?"
Rory sighed and said, "It was bad."
"You left her speechless, and believe me when I say that is quite an accomplishment."
They arrived at the door as Rory said, "She'll probably hate me now."
"No, you'll be fine. By tomorrow, she'll have figured out a way to make everything my fault."
Once inside, Lorelai looked at the answering machine and noted a flashing message light. She pushed the play button and heard Luke's voice, "Ah, hi. It's me. I just thought you might be home, but I guess not. Anyway, if you feel like it give me a call on the cell. Love ya. Bye."
Rory looked at the mother and asked, "Are you gonna call him?"
"Yeah, I'll give him a call after I get into some comfy clothes."
"Well," Rory started, "I'm sure you'll feel better when you talk to Luke." Rory pointed towards her room, and said, "I'm going to get changed and do some school work."
Lorelai nodded, and Rory turned towards her room, but Lorelai stopped her, "Oh, Rory."
Rory turned back towards her mother and asked, "Yeah?"
Lorelai's lower lip quivered as she said, "I'm really glad you're here. Thanks."
Rory watched as the tears started to flow down Lorelai's cheeks. She wrapped her arms around her mother. Lorelai rested her head on Rory's shoulder and sobbed once, while Rory stroked her head.
After a moment, Lorelai stepped back wiped at the tears with her hand and said, "I'm sorry, I just can't seem to stop that tonight."
"That's alright, Mom, this must be really hard for you."
Lorelai nodded in response.
Rory placed a hand on Lorelai's shoulder and said, "We'll get through this." Lorelai shrugged in response so Rory continued, "Okay, go upstairs and put on some sweats, then call Luke. Then after you get off the phone, we can fill up on ice cream, okay?
Fifteen minutes later, Lorelai now dressed in sweats and a t-shirt picked up the phone and sat down on the couch. She propped her feet on the coffee table as she dialed Luke's cell number. While she listened to the phone ring, she grabbed the afghan, and put it over her feet.
After four rings, the phone had not been picked up and switched over to voicemail. Luke had never recorded a greeting, so she got the canned request to leave a message. Surprised that Luke had not picked up, she said, "Hi, sweetie. It's me, Lorelai, but you better know that cause no one else should be calling you sweetie. Anyway, I'm home, and if you get this and feel like talking, I'll be up for a while. So, bye. Love you."
As Lorelai started to turn off the cordless, she was wondering why Luke didn't answer the phone. Her pondering was cut short when the phone rang in her hand. She turned on the phone, held it to her ear and said, "Hello?"
"Hi, did you just call?" Lorelai heard Luke say over the phone.
"Yeah, I did. I left you a voicemail."
"I'm sorry," Luke said. "I fell asleep, and by the time I got to the phone you were gone."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."
"No, I'm glad you did," Luke replied. "I fell asleep at a weird angle watching TV. You just saved me from a massive stiff neck."
"Well, glad to be of service."
"I saw the flowers you sent. They were real nice," Luke acknowledged.
"No problem."
"I'm glad you thought of sending some, cause I sure didn't"
"Well, you've had other stuff on your mind."
"So, can I ask why you didn't sign both of our names, instead of just mine?" Luke asked.
"I don't know it just seemed like they should be from just you. You're not mad, are you?" Lorelai asked.
"No, either way is fine. I just wanted to thank you," Luke replied.
"You're welcome."
"So, how was dinner at your folks?" Luke asked.
"Awful, horrible, and terrible."
"So, just about the usual."
"Oh no, this was ten times worse," Lorelai said. "This was a hundred times worse. This was…"
"Okay, I think I get the picture. What happened?"
Lorelai rested her forehead in her hand and sighed," Oh, Luke, it was terrible. My mother started on me almost as soon as we walked in the door, and it didn't stop for over two and a half hours."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"And the worst part of it is I just sat there and let her do it. Rory had to save me."
"Rory?" asked Luke.
"Yes, she stood up and told my mother to shut up."
"Really?"
"Yep. And she threw in quite a few colorful words in for good measure."
"Really? I've never heard Rory use aaa… colorful language."
"Well, she did," Lorelai declared. "And I think she picked it up from you, cause I sure as hell… I mean, heck, don't talk like that."
"No, your language is always rated G."
"Damn straight."
"So, was Rory really using colorful language?"
"Yeah, right," Lorelai replied. "Come on, this is Rory we're talking about."
"So, what was your mom angry about?" Luke asked.
Lorelai paused before she sighed and said, "You."
"Me?" Luke asked. "What did I do?"
Lorelai explained as well as she could Emily's rants. Once she finished, Luke sighed and said, "Lorelai, I am so sorry. I feel responsible."
"No, Luke," Lorelai replied, "It's not you. It's just my mother being… Well, my mother."
They were silent for a moment, before Lorelai said, "But I at least got a new dress."
"You did?"
"Yeah, I figured that since I had to go to my mother's, I deserved something nice."
"That's good, you deserve it."
"I'm glad you think so," Lorelai started, "because I needed new shoes to go with the dress, and I saw this great bag. And they were on sale so I bought three pairs of pantyhose."
"You bought all that stuff?"
"No, not really," Lorelai replied.
"Good," Luke said sounding relieved.
"Yeah, I only got two pairs of hose."
"Ah, well, I'm glad you restrained yourself," Luke said.
"So, how was your evening?" Lorelai asked.
Luke sighed then said, "Believe it or not, it may have been less fun than yours."
"Really?" Lorelai asked. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Well," Luke started. "First I thought I saw Rachel, alive."
"What!?"
"It turned out to be her younger sister Regina. But I swear that at first glance, she looked just like Rachel."
"Wow, that must have been spooky."
"Yeah, but that was just the start."
"Really? What else?"
"Well, I hadn't expected a closed casket."
"Oh, my God. I hadn't even considered that."
"Yeah, me neither, but it stands to reason."
"How do you feel about that?" Lorelai asked.
Luke paused for a second before he answered, "I don't know. One part of me thinks that if I see her there it will help me with, what did you call it? Oh, yeah, closure."
"Uh-huh."
"But on the other hand, I think if I saw her like… like that, I don't think I could bear it."
Tears started down Lorelai's cheeks again. She reached for a tissue as she said, "Uh-huh."
"Then I spoke with her parents, they were like oh it's so good to see you, and they start introducing me as Rachel's boyfriend. I tried to explain to them that Rachel and I weren't together and that you and I are getting married in June, but…"
"But, what, honey?"
"It's like they heard me but wouldn't acknowledge it. I've never met anyone that much in denial."
Lorelai chuckled, and managing to hide the sarcasm, said, "Yeah, me, neither."
"And now they are insisting that I come meet them in the morning and ride in the family limo to the service."
"That's real nice of them, Luke."
"I don't know, it feels wrong, I'm not family." Luke paused for a moment then continued, "I don't know, maybe I should…"
"Should what?"
"Maybe I should just say forget it all, and get on a plane in the morning back to Hartford."
Lorelai wanted to shout agreement into the phone, but instead she said, "Oh, Luke, you don't want to do that. If you do that, you'll regret it later."
"I don't know."
"Luke, it's just one more day. You'll be sorry if you don't stay."
Luke was quiet for a long moment before. Eventually he replied, "Yeah, I suppose you're right."
"Hey. Aren't I always right?"
"It happens from time to time, but not too often."
They spent the next ten minutes exchanging their own unique brand of banter. Finally, Lorelai said, "I better let you get back to sleep. You got a rough day ahead of you tomorrow."
"I don't know, are you sure I can't just come home?"
"Good night, Luke. I love you."
"I love you too, Lorelai."
"I love you more," Lorelai taunted.
"Good night, Lorelai. I'll talk to you tomorrow," Luke said and then he was gone.
Lorelai turned off the cordless and reached for another tissue. As she sat the phone on the coffee table, she noticed the small pile of tissues sitting beside her. She finished wiping her eyes, then stood up and walked into the kitchen.
Once she threw away the tissues, she stood in thought. After a moment, she walked into Rory's room and sat on the bed. "Hey, kiddo."
Rory smiled at her and said, "Hey back at ya. How's Luke?"
Lorelai fluffed her hair and sounding very aloof said, "He's fine but he misses me terribly."
"Of course, who wouldn't?" Rory closed her book and asked, "So you want to watch a movie or something?"
Lorelai reached out and rubbed Rory's knee and said, "No, I think I'm kinda tired. I'm just going to go to bed."
"Are you sure?"
Lorelai stood up and said, "Yeah, I just want to go to sleep."
"Okay, just as long as you're not planning on going to you room and cry alone. That's not healthy."
"Nope. I'm just going to go to sleep.
"Alright. See you in the morning."
"Night, sweetie," Lorelai said as she left Rory's room.
A minute later, Lorelai sat quietly on the end of her bed, staring at the floor. After a couple more minutes, she sighed and looked around the room. She stood and walked to a basket of clean laundry. She reached into the basket and pulled out one of Luke's shirts. She smelt the shirt, recognizing Luke's scent.
With the shirt in hand, she turned off the light. She climbed into bed, and lay on her side. Holding Luke's shirt close to her chest, she quietly cried herself to sleep.