Cruel Beauty
Chapter Seven
Only God Knows Why
Its been so long since I've been home
I've been gone, I've been gone way too long
Maybe I've forgotten all the things I miss
Oh, somehow I know there is more to life than this—Kid Rock
Life at Hogwarts was extremely repetitive. Everyday I had the same classes with the same professors droning on about the same mind-numbing lessons. After a while the only person that I would even talk to anymore would be Draco. He was the only one at Hogwarts who could carry on anything that resembled an intelligent conversation.
The monotonous days turned into weeks, the weeks turned into months, and soon it was December. I was sitting in the Great Hall when the mail arrived; I spotted my aunt's distinguished white owl flying towards the Slytherin table. It dropped a letter in front of me and quickly left, not wishing to be in the presence of the other animals any longer—even our owls were snobby.
I sighed and turned the letter over a few times nervously, Velena never sent me mail. I was always expected to owl her once a week with reports of classes, people, and that sort of thing—but she never sent replies. The only time that she felt the need to speak with me was when I was in trouble, she never would have sent mail that contained something of importance—mail can be too easily intercepted. I got up from the table and headed back to the Slytherin common room where I could have some privacy.
The common room was empty so I took a seat at a nearby table. I opened the envelope, pulled out the letter, and began to read.
Ginevra,
I encourage a relationship with Draco Malfoy. The Malfoys are powerful allies to have; my suggestion to you is to earn the boy's trust. You never know when you might find yourself in a situation where it will become useful to you. But remember, this boy is a conquest, not a friend. You do not need friends; they will only prove to be a weakness that can be exploited. I expect you home for Christmas break.
Velena Evansole
I put the letter down on the table and began to rub my temples, trying to will away the headache that was coming. She wanted me to make Draco an ally; she wanted me to "conquer" him. I certainly hoped that she did not expect me to make connections by conquering people the same way that she did.
The next few days I became a nightmare to deal with. I reversed my normal attitude, refusing to talk to Draco, and constantly speaking up in class. Although, to be fair, I did not say the things that most professors wished to hear. I would point out the errors in each teacher's lesson and find ways to make whatever facts they were trying to provide wrong. I served a lot of detentions that week.
When I returned from one of my many punishments it was very late and the common room was cleared, except for one person sitting by the fire. I walked over to Draco and sat in the chair beside him. We sat in silence for a while, as I said I wasn't really speaking to him that much anymore, when Draco turned to me.
"What's been your problem this week? You refuse to speak with me, and you're constantly getting in trouble."
"I don't have a problem, maybe your conversation has gotten dull. As for my classes, I was tired of hearing the professors try to teach things in such a condescending manner. If you treat all of your students as they are unintelligent, then that is all they will ever be."
Draco smirked and looked away, "You of all people should know that I'm more observant than that. Whether you like it or not, I know you, and I know that there is something going on."
I scowled and counted to ten in my head, trying to suppress my anger. "Fine, if you must know, I have to go home for Christmas and since you know me so well, then I guess that you should understand why it is putting me in such a foul mood."
"Yes, I can sympathize with that; I have to go to Malfoy Manner for the holidays. Last year when I had to go home for Christmas my father spent the entire time quizzing me over things a seventh year wouldn't know, let alone a first year such as myself. Then he ranted on for hours about how they weren't teaching properly at the school and an old fool like Dumbledore should have never been put in charge."
I let out a small laugh, "Velena gave me this huge list of books that I was to read while here, I have no doubt that her Christmas gift to me will be an endless test to make sure that I have not disobeyed her orders."
"You know, since we will both be suffering, perhaps we can meet somewhere for a day so that we can have a short break. Since you are an Evansole, father will have no qualms in giving me permission to meet with you."
I had to think about this. Meeting with Draco would probably technically make us some sort of friends—and I couldn't have that. However, the opportunity to get away from Velena for a day proved to be too tempting…"Agreed, owl me with the date, time, and place that you wish to get together." He probably didn't want a friend either, I decided, just a bit of freedom.
In no time at all it was time for the break and I was forced to go back to my aunt. She didn't pick me up at the station, but she had sent another limousine. It was a rather long ride back to the Evansole residence, so I took the liberty of drinking some of the champagne that was sitting beside me in an ice bucket. I knew that I was too young to indulge in alcohol, but the champagne made me feel all bubbly and the prospect of meeting my aunt became less daunting with each glass I had.
When I arrived at my house I found my aunt waiting for me. She gave me a short hello before instructing me that dinner would be served in an hour. I went to my room, trying very desperately to walk straight. I took a rest before dinner and discovered that by the time I got up the pleasant feeling the champagne had provided was gone, and dread once more took its proper place.
Dinner, to no real surprise, had not changed at all. It was the same two hour long event. Although, I had to admit, it was nice to dine without looking at Crabbe and Goyle. I mentioned to Velena that I had plans to meet with Draco over the break and she seemed pleased that I was following her instructions.
After dinner my aunt allowed me to have the rest of the evening to myself as some sort of reward for earning Draco's trust. I returned to my room and began to think about what was so different about this house; it just had a strange vibe to it. I thought about Velena, and how she would react if I talked back to her one of these days. It was then that I realized what was so different; I didn't care how she reacted to things that I said! She no longer frightened me; her attempts to get me to dispose of all feelings had also vanquished my fear of her. I then did something rare, I smiled. She could kick me out, and I wouldn't care. In fact, I rather hoped that she would.
Draco decided to meet three days before Christmas at the Three Broomsticks at three o' clock. I think it was his idea of a joke.
I flooed over to the Three Broomsticks five minutes before our scheduled time. Since Draco had not arrived yet I found an empty booth to sit down and wait for him. I heard the bell ring, signaling that customers had entered the restaurant. I looked up and saw seven males, six with red hair, and one with black. I quickly picked up the menu that had been left on my table and attempted to hide behind it.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw one of them pointing toward me and they all fell silent. My master plan had failed. I set down the menu and tried to compose myself, I couldn't let them have the upper hand in this situation.
The two eldest calmed the rest of the herd before walking over to my booth. Bill and Charlie. I may not have been too fond of my other brothers, but I remembered these two. I remembered Bill cradling me while he cried and making empty promises that everything would be alright, I remembered standing next to Charlie when Velena arrived and the distressing look he had on his face when she led me away with tears in my eyes. I remembered both of them protecting me from the twins constant pranks, but most of all I remembered them telling me that they loved me.
My breathing quickened and my cool demeanor was fading, why did my repressed memories have to surface now? They sat across from me and I hid my shaking hands under the table.
"I…I can't believe that it's really you." Bill croaked out. He reached out to touch my hair to make sure that I wasn't an illusion; I quickly pulled myself out of his reach.
Charlie finally found his voice, "you have no idea how long we've waited to see you again, and now you're here." Stay calm, Ginevra, I told myself, these people left you with Velena. They don't care about you, and you don't care about them. They are Weasleys, you are not. Separate yourself from them, you are above them. But my aunt's voice in my head was fading and all her lessons were quickly slipping out of my grasp, all I could think of was how Bill and Charlie would swing me between them and call me their little Ginnybean.
"Ginevra, are you ok?" I couldn't even distinguish which one had asked. Why did they have to look so concerned? I had to say something; they were about ready to call someone for help.
"You left me." Yeah, maybe I should have just passed out or something. I wanted to bang my head against the unclean table, what was happening to me? First I completely lose my self-discipline and now I was making myself vulnerable.
The sad looks returned to their faces as Charlie spoke, "We thought that by letting Velena have you that we were giving you a good opportunity in life. She could provide you with things that we simply could not offer. But we tried so hard to visit you, we sent letters everyday."
I felt a slight tap on my shoulder. "What are you doing? Do not speak to her. Come, Ginevra." Draco had arrived. I allowed him to pull me out of the booth and lead me outside. But as we reached the door I heard Charlie call out to me again, I didn't turn around but I listened.
"I'm sorry Ginnybean; I should have fought harder to keep you with us."
Once we were out the door my legs gave out and I collapsed on Draco. He held me awkwardly as I did something that I thought that I had long since lost the ability to do—I cried.