Cruel Beauty
Rating: PG-13
Summery: Alternate Universe. When Ginny was six years old her parents died and she was left in the care of her mother's beautiful yet cruel sister. She raises Ginny with misguided views on love, will Ginny be able to love or is she too late to save?
Disclaimer: Anything that you recognize is not mine
Chapter Twelve
Gone
I remember what you said to me
You were acting so strange
and maybe I was too blind to see
That you needed a change Nsync
I didn't know what to think after that. I wasn't beautiful, I looked like my brothers. I couldn't say anything to him so I just left him standing in the common room; I didn't know how to deal with the situation.
The next day there were many rumors floating around the school about why I looked the way that I did now. I heard everything from I lost a bet to an owl attacked my head; nothing was even close to the truth. Draco kept his distance and I was left alone.
At lunch I saw the fingers pointing to me and heard the whispers all around, but I didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore. Pansy came up to me and openly laughed in my face, she began to taunt me and called me ugly. I was getting ready to start throwing curses at her when Draco came up behind me.
"You really shouldn't laugh Pansy, even with the hair and the freckles she is still ten times more beautiful than you can ever even hope to be. Besides, she knows some pretty nasty spells so I suggest you leave her alone." Pansy started to sputter and looked as though she was foaming at the mouth before turning around and storming out of the Great Hall.
I turned to Draco, "why did you do that?"
"I had a couple of reasons, the first being that I didn't think it was worth you getting expelled over using some illegal curses on Pansy and the second being that it was the truth."
"Draco, you can't just keep doing stuff like this and saying these things to me. Why are you sacrificing what we have together over this?"
Draco pulled me out of the Great Hall and into an empty classroom where we could talk. "I am not sacrificing anything, I can't help the way that I feel about you. I can't pretend that we are just two people that talk to each other late at night; haven't you noticed how I keep bringing up other girls? I was trying to make you jealous, hoping that you felt the same but you stayed the same unfeeling person that you've always been. So I took a risk and let you know, but you just shoved it in my face and decided to chop off your hair and give yourself freckles in hopes of getting me to take back my feelings."
"Draco," I tried to interrupt before he said something that he regretted.
He shook his head, "no, let me say this. I am not the shallow person that you seem to think that I am. Yes, I told you that you were beautiful, but I didn't mean just on the outside. I think that you're beautiful because of the person that I know you are. I don't know how to love and I'm not sure what it feels like, but I do know that for you, I'm willing to try."
I searched his gray eyes and knew that he was telling the truth. When Draco lied he tended to blink twice in a row; it was a subtle thing but I had picked up on it. I sighed and looked away; Draco never put his feelings on the line and I had no idea what was possessing him to do so right now. A Malfoy never gave anyone the upper hand in a situation and yet he was handing it to me, he was giving me the opportunity to completely devastate him.
My normally nonexistent emotions were now in overload. I wasn't Velena, I couldn't just crush him like that; I knew this boy. Ever since I was six years old I have yearned for love from anyone, I have simply learned to suppress it. I received love from Maria and now Draco was offering it to me. "Love is a temperamental sickness and those who say it lasts forever are fools." Velena's words ran through my head; I may have craved love but I did not know how to give it in return.
"I can't give you what you want. It's just more than I am able to offer." I couldn't do it. I could not commit myself to something that I wasn't sure of. I never made myself vulnerable and a relationship would do that. I was not prepared to shatter the walls that I had built around myself because Draco was suddenly feeling actual emotions. He would have to learn to deal; God knows that I did.
Instead of looking upset though, Draco just looked angry. "I really don't get you."
"If you are putting me in this situation then I suppose that you don't. Damn it Draco, I am fourteen and I can't even remember ever telling someone that I loved them. You want to learn how to love? Why would you come to me for that? If you want someone to teach you the joys of feeling and how to be nice then I suggest that you go hook up with a Hufflepuff. I barely know how to care for you as a friend, don't ask me for more."
His eyes softened a little, "I don't want a Hufflepuff. I don't want to learn to be nice and loving and I am well aware of the fact that I will never know the "joys" of feeling. You of all people should know that I will never be the kind person that redeems themselves for all of their evil deeds. I just thought that you could understand; even villains need a companion."
I close my eyes and tried to wish it all away. As I open them again I see Draco still standing in front of me patiently waiting for my response, why can't anything go my way? "I do understand Draco. I understand all too well; and from my knowledge allow me to impart something on to you. Whatever you are feeling now is temporary, it will come to pass. People like us don't change; you say you want a companion, someone who will be there for you? You don't want me; you want the idea of me. Maria was the mother figure that I had longed for since I had lost my own; I clung to her and her affections because the very idea that she could view me as a daughter caused me to throw all of my values out the window."
I see Draco ready to argue so I continued before he could. "Love is empty and the longing for it is only the cause of loneliness. You have never felt love and you think that you want it, but you don't. It will only prove to be a weakness. What you think that you feel for me is not permanent, nothing is. You once told me to come find you when I had come to my senses about Maria; I am now telling you the same. You're intelligent Draco, you'll figure it out eventually." It was cruel, but necessary. I believed most of what I had said to him, I was sorry that he had to learn the hard way but it was better me doing it to him than someone with ill intentions. I would be there to pick up the pieces and guide him to the route that he is expected to be on.
I let the words sink into him before turning and preparing to leave him yet again. I turned to walk away when I heard a quiet yet determined voice, "I believe that it is you that will figure it out eventually, Virginia dear. No one can live alone forever and it is I who will be there when you figure that out." Damn, that boy was harder to break than I thought.
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Draco and I are both stubborn and we avoided each other for weeks, each waiting for the other to come to their senses. I had no intentions of budging, as far as I was concerned loneliness only made you stronger, so I took it in strife.
On one of my lonely nights I was in the library working on a paper when three people came uninvited to my table. Harry, Hermione, and Ron; the three musketeers, just what I needed to complete my night.
"What do you want?" I asked coldly. Hermione looked at my hair in shock, her fingers looked as though they were itching to touch it, to see if I had really cut it all off.
"Nice freckles, Virginia." Ron stressed my name as if to remind me that he would rather call me something else.
"Well I had always admired yours so I thought, why not get some of my very own?" Harry tried not to laugh while Ron turned pink at the ears.
Hermione butted in, she always did have to make up the intelligent comebacks for her friends. "You do realize that you look like a Weasley now. What bet did you lose?"
"I don't believe in making bets, they are for the lowly. And I don't really care what I look like, it's still better than you." Harry and Ron got out their wands and pointed them at me; that was always their solution whenever someone insulted their precious Hermione. "Please, you wouldn't know a good curse if it came up and bit you on the nose." I gave them one last superior look before gathering my things and leaving.
I fumed on the way back to the Slytherin dungeons; the dim-witted Gryffindors had managed to chase me out of the library. I went up the stairs to my room and laid down on the bed, this was not turning out to be a good year.
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A/N Don't get mad, the Draco Ginny hook up is coming!! I don't want it to suck and I need to get some things out of the way before it happens. Sorry that this took a few days and it isn't very long, I have a killer school load this week and I have like no time to do anything but that! I had four tests today!!! Okay now that I've ranted on to other things, since I do have limited time for the next few weeks I'm going to stop on my shout outs for a little while. I love soooooooo much that I have so many reviews that I don't have time to respond to them all but it also makes me sad because I like to do it. Anyway I'll try to get back in the habit of it, but if you want updates then I'll just have to put that off for a while. Please review still, I'll answer any questions that you guys ask and know that I will still be reading them!!! Thanks for taking the time to read!
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