Author's note:Yeah, I know what you are thinking by now. "How did this turn
into a sappy, angsty, love thing? You suck!" And you're right....wait---er--
What I MEANT to say is that it may seem weird that Severus is in love with
Remus momentarily, but I have plans for everyone's favorite Wolf! ^_^ he
he! Hope those of you who are hating me for it still read on!!!
Dear Diary,
The potion works incredibly well...dispite it's loathable taste. Last night I was quite able to keep control, just curling up in my office as a harmless wolf, waiting for the moon to wane. But it seems like things didn't go well for my classes while I was gone. The third years, in specific.
I came back the next day, looking more terrible than usual, but I felt fine. (ever have that sort of thing? It's strange. Very strange!) I sat down, grading a few more papers as the students came in. I smiled up at them as they took their seats and burst into a chorus of complaints. "It's not fair! He was only filling in, why should he give us homework?" Seamus Finnigam shouted out. "We don't know anything about werewolves--" Lavender Brown excalimed. "--Two rolls of parchment!" an anonymous kid shouted. I shrank back, hearing Lavender's comment. I frowned. How could Severus actually...I mean, if he just gave me some time to explain my feelings for him, he wouldn't be so angry...and now he....I had to talk with Severus.
"Did you tell Professor Snape we haven't covered them yet?" I asked, trying to not let my thoughts come through.
"Yes but he said we were really behind--" Hermione began. "--he wouldn't listen--" Ron said, making a sour face. "--two rolls of parchment!!!!" the anonymous child shouted yet again, making me smile.
"Don't worry, I'll speak to Professor Snape. You don't have to do the essay- -"
"Oh no! I've already finished it," said Hermione, all her hard work for nothing. The lesson continued, not another word of Snape was spoken, they all seemed as angry with him as I. Bringing out the glass container with the hinkypunk caught their eyes, the one legged whispy demon with the lantern-clad head. They took notes, seeming happy to have Severus gone, and then tried their luck on the hinkypunk, suceeding as they always do!
After class I called Harry back, asking if I could talk with him. Quite recently Harry was in a Quidditch match, one that took place in the rain against Hufflepuff. While he was trying to find the Snitch he was interrupted by a parade of Dementors. His broom flew into the Whomping Willow and he fell off...
"I heard about the match," I said, packing my books into my briefcase...I need a new one, I think," and I am sorry about your broomstick. Is there any chance of fixing it?"
"No...The tree smashed it to bits..." Harry said heavily.
"Hmm...They planted the Whomping Willow the same year that I arrived at Hogwarts. People used to play a game, trying to get near enough to touch the trunk. In the end, a boy called Davey Gudgeon nearly lost an eye, and we were forbidden to go near it. No broomstick would have a chance..."
"Did you hear about the dementors, too?" Harry said with some difficulty.
That suddenly caught my attention. "Yes, I did. I don't think any of us have seen Professor Dumbledore that angry. They have been growing restless for some time...furious at his refusal to let them insaide the grounds...I suppose they were the reason you fell?" I replied, looking at him concernedly.
"Yes.." Harry sat there for a while. He then looked as if he were to jump out of his seat, but he sat still, suddenly speaking. "Why!? Why the affect me like that? Am I just---"
"It has nothing to do with weakness Harry," I interrupted, knowing what he would ask. "The dementors affect you worse than others because there are horrors in your past that the others don't have. Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They indest the darkest, flithiest places, they glor in decay and dispair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them. Even Muggles feel their presence, though they can't see them. Get too near a dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the dementor will feed upon you long enough to reduce you to something like itself...soul- less and evil. You'll be left with nothing but the worst experiances of your life. And the worst that happenned to you, Harry, is enough to make anyone fall off their broom. You have nothing to be ashamed of," I said, trying to smile reassuringly.
"When they get near me..." Harry was staring down, he sounded on the edge of tears. "I can hear Voldemort murdering my mum." My hand reached out to grip his shoulder, but I recoiled, biting my lip. We sat in silence for a bit.
"Why did they have to come to the match?" Harry said, breaking the silence bitterly.
"They're getting hungry," I responded, a bit quietly but still calmly as I shut my briefcase. "Dumbledore won't let them into the school, so their supply of human prey has dried up...I don't think they could resist a large crowd around the Quidditch field. All that excitement...emotions running high...it was their idea of a feast..."
"Azkaban must be terrible," Harry mumbled. I nodded.
"The fortress is set on a tiny island, way out to sea, but they don't need walls and water to keep the prisoners in, not when they're all trapped inside their own heads, incapable of a single cheerful thought. Most of them go mad within weeks..." I looked out the window, resting my elbow on my briefcase, and then looked at him.
"But Sirius Black escaped from them," Harry said slowly," he got away..."
My elbow slipped, causing the briefcase to fall from the desk. I quickly chrouched and caught it before it reached the ground and straightened up nervously. "Yes," I replied, my voice cracking here and there," Siri--Black much have found a way to fight them. I wouldn't have believed it possible...Dementors are supposed to drain a wizard of his powers if he is left with them too long.."
"You made that dementor on the train back off."
"There are--certain defenses one can uses. But there was only one dementor on the train. The more there are, the more difficult it becomes to resist."
"What defenses? Can you teach me!?" Harry said, making me cringe a bit.
"I don't pretend to be an expert at fighting dementors, Harry...quite the contrary..." I said slowly, trying to get him off the idea.
"But if the dementors come to another Quidditch mach, I need to be able to fight them!!"
I looked at Harry for a moment, trying to weigh the idea with everything else. I hesitated and then said,"Well....All right...I'll try and help. But it'll have to wait until next term, I'm afraid. I have a lot to do before the holidays. I chose a very inconvenient time to fall ill."
Harry left, leaving me to my thoughts. Oh! I forgot completely!
I have to go find Severus!!
Remus
Dear Diary
Found 'em.
And confronted him...
And things went....let me explain.
I walked across the grounds on another one of the Hogsmeade days. I sat by the lake and stared at it when I saw a black figure reflected in the icy water. I stood up and turned around to see Severus. I sighed and looked at him.
"Severus--"
"Hello, Remus," he said, simple yet effective. I closed my eyes and shook my head. You're upset with him, Remus. Remember? He could have very well told everyone what you were!! He almost did it once!
"Severus, we need to talk. Listen, I suppose when you decided to fill in for me you were a bit..angry, but you didn't even wait for me to explain myself! And now--they don't EXPECT anything, I hope, but--"Severus looked at me. He just sat there, emotionless, surveying. No sneer played on his face, no smile was offered, no frown of repent. He just sat there. I cleared my throat. "But, afterall, I guess it brought no harm...so...I..." He kept looking at me. He stood, silent and composed. Hmm...he washed his hair.
"So, what do you want to explain, Remus?" he asked, once again so simply. I swallowed and shuffled my feet, I must have looked like a small child holding a dog behind his back, asking for the parents to let him have it. I looked pitiful, and I think he noticed.
"Well..Severus...you explained yourself to me and I..." I looked at him and bit my lip. I took a step forward, attempting to just walk away; I couldn't find the words for how I felt. Before I got the chance to walk around him I was stopped by his arms bringing me forward into another...kiss.
I remembered this. I had wanted this again. And it came. I closed my eyes, feeling the long lost emotion of love/hate/fury/joy/fright/comfort that only he could give. I felt dizzy after he pulled away and I didn't dare open my eyes. I could hear him sigh and I pushed back into the kiss, surprising even myself.
Oh gods, I hope nobody saw...
I suppose it was a bit abrupt, but...Diary? Did I really do the right thing?
Remus...
Dear Diary,
The potion works incredibly well...dispite it's loathable taste. Last night I was quite able to keep control, just curling up in my office as a harmless wolf, waiting for the moon to wane. But it seems like things didn't go well for my classes while I was gone. The third years, in specific.
I came back the next day, looking more terrible than usual, but I felt fine. (ever have that sort of thing? It's strange. Very strange!) I sat down, grading a few more papers as the students came in. I smiled up at them as they took their seats and burst into a chorus of complaints. "It's not fair! He was only filling in, why should he give us homework?" Seamus Finnigam shouted out. "We don't know anything about werewolves--" Lavender Brown excalimed. "--Two rolls of parchment!" an anonymous kid shouted. I shrank back, hearing Lavender's comment. I frowned. How could Severus actually...I mean, if he just gave me some time to explain my feelings for him, he wouldn't be so angry...and now he....I had to talk with Severus.
"Did you tell Professor Snape we haven't covered them yet?" I asked, trying to not let my thoughts come through.
"Yes but he said we were really behind--" Hermione began. "--he wouldn't listen--" Ron said, making a sour face. "--two rolls of parchment!!!!" the anonymous child shouted yet again, making me smile.
"Don't worry, I'll speak to Professor Snape. You don't have to do the essay- -"
"Oh no! I've already finished it," said Hermione, all her hard work for nothing. The lesson continued, not another word of Snape was spoken, they all seemed as angry with him as I. Bringing out the glass container with the hinkypunk caught their eyes, the one legged whispy demon with the lantern-clad head. They took notes, seeming happy to have Severus gone, and then tried their luck on the hinkypunk, suceeding as they always do!
After class I called Harry back, asking if I could talk with him. Quite recently Harry was in a Quidditch match, one that took place in the rain against Hufflepuff. While he was trying to find the Snitch he was interrupted by a parade of Dementors. His broom flew into the Whomping Willow and he fell off...
"I heard about the match," I said, packing my books into my briefcase...I need a new one, I think," and I am sorry about your broomstick. Is there any chance of fixing it?"
"No...The tree smashed it to bits..." Harry said heavily.
"Hmm...They planted the Whomping Willow the same year that I arrived at Hogwarts. People used to play a game, trying to get near enough to touch the trunk. In the end, a boy called Davey Gudgeon nearly lost an eye, and we were forbidden to go near it. No broomstick would have a chance..."
"Did you hear about the dementors, too?" Harry said with some difficulty.
That suddenly caught my attention. "Yes, I did. I don't think any of us have seen Professor Dumbledore that angry. They have been growing restless for some time...furious at his refusal to let them insaide the grounds...I suppose they were the reason you fell?" I replied, looking at him concernedly.
"Yes.." Harry sat there for a while. He then looked as if he were to jump out of his seat, but he sat still, suddenly speaking. "Why!? Why the affect me like that? Am I just---"
"It has nothing to do with weakness Harry," I interrupted, knowing what he would ask. "The dementors affect you worse than others because there are horrors in your past that the others don't have. Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth. They indest the darkest, flithiest places, they glor in decay and dispair, they drain peace, hope, and happiness out of the air around them. Even Muggles feel their presence, though they can't see them. Get too near a dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the dementor will feed upon you long enough to reduce you to something like itself...soul- less and evil. You'll be left with nothing but the worst experiances of your life. And the worst that happenned to you, Harry, is enough to make anyone fall off their broom. You have nothing to be ashamed of," I said, trying to smile reassuringly.
"When they get near me..." Harry was staring down, he sounded on the edge of tears. "I can hear Voldemort murdering my mum." My hand reached out to grip his shoulder, but I recoiled, biting my lip. We sat in silence for a bit.
"Why did they have to come to the match?" Harry said, breaking the silence bitterly.
"They're getting hungry," I responded, a bit quietly but still calmly as I shut my briefcase. "Dumbledore won't let them into the school, so their supply of human prey has dried up...I don't think they could resist a large crowd around the Quidditch field. All that excitement...emotions running high...it was their idea of a feast..."
"Azkaban must be terrible," Harry mumbled. I nodded.
"The fortress is set on a tiny island, way out to sea, but they don't need walls and water to keep the prisoners in, not when they're all trapped inside their own heads, incapable of a single cheerful thought. Most of them go mad within weeks..." I looked out the window, resting my elbow on my briefcase, and then looked at him.
"But Sirius Black escaped from them," Harry said slowly," he got away..."
My elbow slipped, causing the briefcase to fall from the desk. I quickly chrouched and caught it before it reached the ground and straightened up nervously. "Yes," I replied, my voice cracking here and there," Siri--Black much have found a way to fight them. I wouldn't have believed it possible...Dementors are supposed to drain a wizard of his powers if he is left with them too long.."
"You made that dementor on the train back off."
"There are--certain defenses one can uses. But there was only one dementor on the train. The more there are, the more difficult it becomes to resist."
"What defenses? Can you teach me!?" Harry said, making me cringe a bit.
"I don't pretend to be an expert at fighting dementors, Harry...quite the contrary..." I said slowly, trying to get him off the idea.
"But if the dementors come to another Quidditch mach, I need to be able to fight them!!"
I looked at Harry for a moment, trying to weigh the idea with everything else. I hesitated and then said,"Well....All right...I'll try and help. But it'll have to wait until next term, I'm afraid. I have a lot to do before the holidays. I chose a very inconvenient time to fall ill."
Harry left, leaving me to my thoughts. Oh! I forgot completely!
I have to go find Severus!!
Remus
Dear Diary
Found 'em.
And confronted him...
And things went....let me explain.
I walked across the grounds on another one of the Hogsmeade days. I sat by the lake and stared at it when I saw a black figure reflected in the icy water. I stood up and turned around to see Severus. I sighed and looked at him.
"Severus--"
"Hello, Remus," he said, simple yet effective. I closed my eyes and shook my head. You're upset with him, Remus. Remember? He could have very well told everyone what you were!! He almost did it once!
"Severus, we need to talk. Listen, I suppose when you decided to fill in for me you were a bit..angry, but you didn't even wait for me to explain myself! And now--they don't EXPECT anything, I hope, but--"Severus looked at me. He just sat there, emotionless, surveying. No sneer played on his face, no smile was offered, no frown of repent. He just sat there. I cleared my throat. "But, afterall, I guess it brought no harm...so...I..." He kept looking at me. He stood, silent and composed. Hmm...he washed his hair.
"So, what do you want to explain, Remus?" he asked, once again so simply. I swallowed and shuffled my feet, I must have looked like a small child holding a dog behind his back, asking for the parents to let him have it. I looked pitiful, and I think he noticed.
"Well..Severus...you explained yourself to me and I..." I looked at him and bit my lip. I took a step forward, attempting to just walk away; I couldn't find the words for how I felt. Before I got the chance to walk around him I was stopped by his arms bringing me forward into another...kiss.
I remembered this. I had wanted this again. And it came. I closed my eyes, feeling the long lost emotion of love/hate/fury/joy/fright/comfort that only he could give. I felt dizzy after he pulled away and I didn't dare open my eyes. I could hear him sigh and I pushed back into the kiss, surprising even myself.
Oh gods, I hope nobody saw...
I suppose it was a bit abrupt, but...Diary? Did I really do the right thing?
Remus...