Chapter 4:
It was right next door to Vince's house and a block down from Teddy's. It was a one story white house. There was a white picket fence, and matching window shutters. I ran up to the porch and into the house. I ran, screaming through the house. The kitchen was small and cute. The dinning room was beautiful. There were four bedrooms and one bathroom, and a small, cute living room. To others it might've looked quaint. But to me, it was paradise! My very own house! I danced and twirled throughout the house until Gordie came in with Melanie.
"Can you believe Gordo? My very own house!" I jumped up and down and gave him a big huge. He laughed at me.
"A little excited there Jess?"
"Just a tad."
I couldn't have been happier! A house to call my home! Just Mel and me! The two of us. Alone. Without Eyeball. Suddenly everything didn't seem so great anymore. I missed Eyeball, and it wasn't fair of me to just dump this all on him.
"Hey Gordie." I called to him.
"Yeah?"
"Can you drive me to Eyeball's house?"
"Of course."
"Thank you."
Wow, do I ever feel like shit. We drove to Gordie's first to drop off Melanie who was fast asleep. Eyeball sat on the stoop of Gordie's house. Gordie took Melanie inside for me while I stayed and talked with Eyeball.
"Jess." He started.
"I'm sorry."
"What?" He seemed shocked to hear me apologize.
"You were right. I shouldn't have dumped this on you, and you should marry that skank, I mean Cherry," I pretended to cough, and he laughed. "If you really want to. And I'm not going to stop you if you love her."
"Marry me."
"What?"
"I don't know how I could've thought I could be with anyone but you."
"Eyeball, are you sure? You don't have to, I'd completely understand."
"Just say that you'll marry me, before I change my mind." He smiled and we kissed.
"And I've already got a house for us!"
"You're wonderful. Now, lets go." He said, running down the steps.
"Go? Go where?"
"Lets get married right now."
"Elope? We can't."
"Why not? I want to start my life with you as soon as possible."
"Eyeball. I can't get married without Gordie and Chris and everyone there."
"So take them with us."
"Are you serious?"
"Sure. I'll get the guys, and I'll bring the little dip-shit Chris, while you get all dressed up, and get Lachance and whoever."
"I love you." I gave him a kiss and ran inside. I watched him pull away in his new car. Then I ran upstairs screaming.
"Gordie! Let's go! I'm getting married!"
Gordie called Teddy, Ali, and Elisa, to come over quick. Ali explained that Ace couldn't make it because he was 'busy'. Whatever. Anyway, Elisa let me borrow a wedding dress Cheryl had used to marry her ex- husband, Dave. It was beautiful! It had off the shoulder sleeves, and a belled bottom. And of course, the dress wouldn't have been Cheryl's if the dress didn't push your cleavage to the fucking stars! I put my hair in a bun, and pulled on Cheryl's wedding shoes. Ali brought over a white veil and it was pinned in the middle of the bun and draped behind. I put on my signature red lipstick, and grabbed a bouquet of flowers from the dinning room. Eyeball beeped the horn, and I rushed out of the door with everyone. Eyeball picked up some booze to celebrate. And by the time we got to the Chapel, we were all drunks.
I stood at the by the Elvis priest or marrying guy or whatever you call those guys, and waited for Eyeball to traipse down the isle. It wasn't until halfway through the ceremony that we realized that we did it backwards. We stopped the guy and I ran back, and we started over. Then came the 'I do's'.
"Richard, do you take Jessika to be your wife?" The guy dressed as Elvis said. Eyeball stood there staring at him, and I started hysterical laughing.
"Shh, Jess! I'm trying to get married up here!" Eyeball said, trying to concentrate on standing up and yelling at me at the same time. We were so drunk.
"Richard! Do you take Jessika to be your wife?" He repeated, and Eyeball stood there blankly.
"Eyeball!" I whispered.
"Yes?" He said back.
"That's you!" I whispered again laughing.
"Who?"
"Richard." I explained as best I could with the room spinning.
"Who's Richard?!?" He said sternly.
"You are."
"I am what?"
"Richard."
"Richard who?"
"EYEBALL!" Chris yelled.
"Yes?" He said politely.
"I'm sorry, these two don't know their own fucking names. Just call them Eyeball and Jess." Chris explained to the Elvis guy, and he nodded.
"Eyeball." He said.
"Yes?"
"Do you take, Jess to be your wife?" He said slowly.
"What took you so long? I was waiting for this part."
"Do you take Jess to be your wife?"
"Sure, since we're already here and everything." "Finally." He gave a sigh of relief. "Now, Jess, do you take, Eyeball to be your husband?"
"Okie dokie artichokie! Yes sir ree bob! Sure! Yes! Yeah! I do! I don't! I like! I can't! I can! Cone! Cup! Cute! Cookie! Cool! Cold! Call! Cake!" I gasped, and paused from naming words that started with the letter C. "Eyeball! We need cake! I want cake! Can we have cake?"
"Okay. Well, by the power vested in my by the state of Oregon, I pronounce you to husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." I closed my eyes tight, and pursed my lips even tighter for a drunken kiss.
"I need a cake!" Eyeball said, and left the Chapel. I opened my eyes just to see Eyeball fall down. I laughed and ran to where he was, with Vince, Charlie, Billy, Ace, Gordie, Chris, Teddy, Ali, and Elisa, following me. I stopped at where Eyeball laid and looked down at him.
"Mmm, I need some cake." I said, stepped over him and went into a car.
"Jess. Jess. Where are you going?" Eyeball said.
"Cake store." I called back, and found the car keys left in the ignition. I turned on the car and drove away with everyone at the door of the Chapel.
"She is so trashed." Gordie said.
"That's not one of our cars." Vince said. Gordie and Chris looked at each other, worried.
"JESS!" Gordie and Chris said together, running after me in the stolen car.
It was right next door to Vince's house and a block down from Teddy's. It was a one story white house. There was a white picket fence, and matching window shutters. I ran up to the porch and into the house. I ran, screaming through the house. The kitchen was small and cute. The dinning room was beautiful. There were four bedrooms and one bathroom, and a small, cute living room. To others it might've looked quaint. But to me, it was paradise! My very own house! I danced and twirled throughout the house until Gordie came in with Melanie.
"Can you believe Gordo? My very own house!" I jumped up and down and gave him a big huge. He laughed at me.
"A little excited there Jess?"
"Just a tad."
I couldn't have been happier! A house to call my home! Just Mel and me! The two of us. Alone. Without Eyeball. Suddenly everything didn't seem so great anymore. I missed Eyeball, and it wasn't fair of me to just dump this all on him.
"Hey Gordie." I called to him.
"Yeah?"
"Can you drive me to Eyeball's house?"
"Of course."
"Thank you."
Wow, do I ever feel like shit. We drove to Gordie's first to drop off Melanie who was fast asleep. Eyeball sat on the stoop of Gordie's house. Gordie took Melanie inside for me while I stayed and talked with Eyeball.
"Jess." He started.
"I'm sorry."
"What?" He seemed shocked to hear me apologize.
"You were right. I shouldn't have dumped this on you, and you should marry that skank, I mean Cherry," I pretended to cough, and he laughed. "If you really want to. And I'm not going to stop you if you love her."
"Marry me."
"What?"
"I don't know how I could've thought I could be with anyone but you."
"Eyeball, are you sure? You don't have to, I'd completely understand."
"Just say that you'll marry me, before I change my mind." He smiled and we kissed.
"And I've already got a house for us!"
"You're wonderful. Now, lets go." He said, running down the steps.
"Go? Go where?"
"Lets get married right now."
"Elope? We can't."
"Why not? I want to start my life with you as soon as possible."
"Eyeball. I can't get married without Gordie and Chris and everyone there."
"So take them with us."
"Are you serious?"
"Sure. I'll get the guys, and I'll bring the little dip-shit Chris, while you get all dressed up, and get Lachance and whoever."
"I love you." I gave him a kiss and ran inside. I watched him pull away in his new car. Then I ran upstairs screaming.
"Gordie! Let's go! I'm getting married!"
Gordie called Teddy, Ali, and Elisa, to come over quick. Ali explained that Ace couldn't make it because he was 'busy'. Whatever. Anyway, Elisa let me borrow a wedding dress Cheryl had used to marry her ex- husband, Dave. It was beautiful! It had off the shoulder sleeves, and a belled bottom. And of course, the dress wouldn't have been Cheryl's if the dress didn't push your cleavage to the fucking stars! I put my hair in a bun, and pulled on Cheryl's wedding shoes. Ali brought over a white veil and it was pinned in the middle of the bun and draped behind. I put on my signature red lipstick, and grabbed a bouquet of flowers from the dinning room. Eyeball beeped the horn, and I rushed out of the door with everyone. Eyeball picked up some booze to celebrate. And by the time we got to the Chapel, we were all drunks.
I stood at the by the Elvis priest or marrying guy or whatever you call those guys, and waited for Eyeball to traipse down the isle. It wasn't until halfway through the ceremony that we realized that we did it backwards. We stopped the guy and I ran back, and we started over. Then came the 'I do's'.
"Richard, do you take Jessika to be your wife?" The guy dressed as Elvis said. Eyeball stood there staring at him, and I started hysterical laughing.
"Shh, Jess! I'm trying to get married up here!" Eyeball said, trying to concentrate on standing up and yelling at me at the same time. We were so drunk.
"Richard! Do you take Jessika to be your wife?" He repeated, and Eyeball stood there blankly.
"Eyeball!" I whispered.
"Yes?" He said back.
"That's you!" I whispered again laughing.
"Who?"
"Richard." I explained as best I could with the room spinning.
"Who's Richard?!?" He said sternly.
"You are."
"I am what?"
"Richard."
"Richard who?"
"EYEBALL!" Chris yelled.
"Yes?" He said politely.
"I'm sorry, these two don't know their own fucking names. Just call them Eyeball and Jess." Chris explained to the Elvis guy, and he nodded.
"Eyeball." He said.
"Yes?"
"Do you take, Jess to be your wife?" He said slowly.
"What took you so long? I was waiting for this part."
"Do you take Jess to be your wife?"
"Sure, since we're already here and everything." "Finally." He gave a sigh of relief. "Now, Jess, do you take, Eyeball to be your husband?"
"Okie dokie artichokie! Yes sir ree bob! Sure! Yes! Yeah! I do! I don't! I like! I can't! I can! Cone! Cup! Cute! Cookie! Cool! Cold! Call! Cake!" I gasped, and paused from naming words that started with the letter C. "Eyeball! We need cake! I want cake! Can we have cake?"
"Okay. Well, by the power vested in my by the state of Oregon, I pronounce you to husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." I closed my eyes tight, and pursed my lips even tighter for a drunken kiss.
"I need a cake!" Eyeball said, and left the Chapel. I opened my eyes just to see Eyeball fall down. I laughed and ran to where he was, with Vince, Charlie, Billy, Ace, Gordie, Chris, Teddy, Ali, and Elisa, following me. I stopped at where Eyeball laid and looked down at him.
"Mmm, I need some cake." I said, stepped over him and went into a car.
"Jess. Jess. Where are you going?" Eyeball said.
"Cake store." I called back, and found the car keys left in the ignition. I turned on the car and drove away with everyone at the door of the Chapel.
"She is so trashed." Gordie said.
"That's not one of our cars." Vince said. Gordie and Chris looked at each other, worried.
"JESS!" Gordie and Chris said together, running after me in the stolen car.