Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, so don't sue me. Believe me, you can't get rich offa me. Wakkata? Wakarimasu ka? Don't sue me ¬ ¬;;..

Warnings: Swearing, attempted suicide (again!), shounen-ai (for those of you who wandered into this fic without a clue to what it is..shounen-ai means boy love, as in boy/boy relationships. to be put simply.. GAYNESS! XD)

Rating: PG - 13

Notes: Below! D

Ahahaaaa, people, I'mma back!!! ..

*sees that it's deserted*

Okay. I'm so loved. *stalks off*

..

*rushes back*

OKAY!!! I don't care if no one's reading this!!! Anyway, yea yea, I finally typed out the 2nd stinkin' chapter for this gay ass series. Haha. Hey, did anyone notice that I spelt Nym-Oni's name wrong???? LOL I'm so STUPID!! XD Also, did anyone notice when I typed:

Thinking about Heero, and what he would think.. I'm... Shit!

LOL Looks like Duo said, I'm shit! O_o;; I didn't notice until after I posted it up and printed it out. (Yea, I never catch my mistakes until after when I read it over on paper for about 2 - 3 times. Funny how I catch other ppl's mistakes easily though... ¬ ¬;;... I guess it's because the person who writes the story and then reads it already knows how the story will go, so they kind of not really read it, but more of a ....skim? I dunno! x.x;;)

Another thing! You know how Duo heard his alarm go off in the first chapter? Remember? And then Quatre was calling him. I guess I never thought about it until yesterday. Here's the deal, Duo's bathroom is in his room, but he could hear Quatre and folks talking from outside his room. Then Heero, being the insensitive person he is, just waltzed into Duo's room, thus he being able to open the door, since Quatre and folks actually have manners and didn't barge in. ¬ ¬;;...

Aaaah.. Okay.. This chapter sucks...


How You Gonna Handle?
written by Sakura Maxwell



Chapter 2

Liar

Slowly, my eyes open and I blink, surrounded by darkness. Like I'm not used to that. Haha.

I push myself up and instantly regret it. The pressure put on my wrist is too much for me to handle at the moment. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. This could have been worse. I could have been sent to the hospital, and God knows I hate hospitals. They have this weird aura in them. Besides, it stinks there, and I hate needles.

I turn to look at the clock. 6 : 25 PM. So everyone is still awake.. Great. What luck. I wonder what they'll say if I go down there. Hmm.. Let's see.. Quatre would fuss, Trowa would try to calm Quatre down and give me somewhat of a blank stare / glare, Wufei would snort and / or glare at me in disgust (or ignore me. I prefer that.), and Heero would...

I cringe.

No, Duo, stop right there. Don't even think about that evil, emotionless, cold, jack-assy bastard. Don't think, don't think, don't think, don't think--

Quatre calls from somewhere outside this dark room. Dinner's ready.

I gulp. Quatre sounds normal (normal means him sounding like a wife?). So.. He's trying to sound like nothing even happened. ... Stupid asshole..

Oh, are you okay? he asks. Heero said you felt pretty sick and fainted, so..

Eh? What? Heero said WHAT?! But.. But that's a lie.. He lied. Acha, but why would he lie to Quatre? ..Damn, this is confusing...

I.. I still don't feel so well.. I respond, trying to sound sick and feeble. I cough (haha) and say, I think I'll skip dinner.



I smile. Quatre's so caring.. Unlike Mr. I-don't-give-a-crap-about-anyone. (And we know who that is, don't we, little kids?)

It's alright, Quatre. I'm not that hungry. My stomach isn't really cooperating with me at the moment. Haha. Lie. I haven't eaten since yesterday, and my stomach is screaming out for food.

Are you sure..? He sounds worried.



Well.. Okay.. But come down when you are, alright? I'll have everything in the fridge, so just microwave it or something.

Mm hm. Cough.

`Kay then..

...Whoo. He's gone. I think. Aaah.. He cares too much. Sigh. I have to go when everyone's definitely asleep, which could be really early or really late. (One extreme or another, jeez. Make it easier for a pathetic soul, would you?) Please let them go to sleep early.. Please, please, please...

Grabbing the sheets, I throw them over my body and attempt to sleep.

-

Click

BAM! LIGHTS! LIGHTS! BRIGHTNESS!

Ch.. DAMNIT! TURN OFF THE FUCKING LIGHT!! I yell angrily, trying to pull the sheets over my head, but end up grabbing plain air. The sheets.. They're gone. Oh, yay. I put my arms over my eyes to shield the evil brightness. Ah.. This is better.. But I'd like that light to go off, PLEASE!! And of course, two firm hands with a frickin' STRONG grip grabs my arms and I hiss in pain. The freakin' bastard is grabbing my wrists!!

LET ME GO, YOU ASSHOLE!! I scream, tearing my arms away and lifting my leg, sending a quick kick to the guy's face. Good. I hope I did some good damage. I gather my breath, still pretty blinded from the light, and demand, enraged, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?! Whoever the hell was screwing around here would definitely not live to see another day after facing the wrath of a very psycho, mentally challenged, mentally unstable, crazy, suicidal freak. AKA me.

Nice greeting, he states flatly.

Bing!

My eyes snap open, then promptly narrow to slits from the luminous room. I sputter in hatred and bewilderment. What the fuck are YOU doing here?! OI! I yell as he turns his back and starts walking away. You shit head! Answer me--

he asks, flicking the light switch down. I'm drowning in darkness again. Aaah.. Feels good. I slowly open my eyes and scowl at his amused features.

Go away. And, I say, noticing the sheets in his hand, give me back my sheets.

Asshole man smirks and holds them up tauntingly. Come and get them, he says. I growl. Bastard. Give them to me NOW!

Make me.

I blink, stunned. Since when did Heero gain this kind of attitude?! Oh, he must love degrading me.. The mother fucker... I am gonna make him pay for this.. Surely.. He will die for what he's doing..

Then something else clicks inside of me. He knows I'm weak, and that because of me slicing my legs, I can't fully stand without leaning onto something. Eyelids lower, and I look at my hands, tears brimming my eyes. So what if he sees? So what if he teases, taunts, acts like the asshole he is? I should be used to this already.. But I guess for all those years I bottled up my feelings I'm now gonna burst. I'm reaching the point of insanity, where I'll just lose myself to the past and end up killing myself. But .. That's what I want anyway..

A smile tugs at the corners of my lips. This is just too ironic. Mr. Cheerful, Mr. Happy, Mr. Sarcastic, Mr. Always-bring-up-your-hopes-in-the-shittiest-of-times.. is cracking. Those masks are cracking. I laugh. This is just too funny..

Suddenly, I feel weight add onto the bed and his hands on my shoulders, gripping me firmly. Ah crap... Just go away.. Leave me alone...

Duo. Duo! What's wrong? Mr. Unsociable asks. Do I hear a tinge of worry in his voice? That would be a hoot if it were true. But it's not. I am really delusional right now--Agh.. Damn bastard is shaking me now. Jeez, what the hell is he trying to do to me? Put me through even more pain? ...I didn't know he had a sick side like that in him... Ooo.. I hate him even more.

Duo, Duo! Answer me! What's wrong?!

It's not real, it's not real, it's not real.. I'm just being delusional.. Aie.. Shaking, shaking becoming more violent.. Ouch. That hurts.. Throbbing pain in my head. Oh, great, thanks a lot, Perfect Soldier Man. You really know how to torture injured victims. Ach.. Eh? Shaking. Stopped. His hands. Gone. Yippie! Oh, I'm free--Nevermind. Now those stupid hands are grasping my cheeks and making me look straight at him. I feel like spitting in his face. But I don't want more pain to come, which I know will happen if I spit. Oh boy.. Respect the injured--..

he says with a sterner voice than before. What's. Wrong? Tell me.. His eyes look...angry and concerned at the same time... Eh.. Concerned? ...Delusional..

Duo. Tell me. Now.

Oooooooh... The Mr. Stony-idiot-who-is-extremely-evil-in-a-cold-way attitude is kicking in. Fine. Want me to tell you what's wrong? Really? Ha. You wouldn't really care anyway, would you?

Duo, answer me now. What's wrong--



Weee... I said it!!! And let's watch his reaction....

His hands leave my face and slump down. Ah? Interesting. He's off the bed now. Thank you! And my sheets...

...are silently draped over my body. Hah? I look up and see his back turned to me. You know, that kind of hurts me in a small ity bity way because it seems as if that's his way of rejecting me. ..But then again, he's rejected me ever since I met him..

..S..Sorry to bother..you..

PFFT! BIG EYES; WHAT?! His--His voice!!! It.. It sounded so UNLIKE Heero!!~! Oh..my..gosh.. I better go back to sleep before I start to see pigs flying. Aigh..

Slam!

Ara.. Oh joy, he's gone! I'm enveloped in darkness again. ..Hell, what am I saying? I've always been in darkness... The..

..darkness of my own heart..

I've always been alone..

My eyes widen. No, I wasn't alone. Not with them. Not with Father Maxwell and Sister Helen. No.. I was happy when I was with them, and I wasn't alone. I wasn't alone when I was with Solo either. He helped to take care of me after finding me.. But.. But he died of a virus..and I wasn't there to save him. Damnit! ..And I wasn't there to save Father Maxwell and Sister Helen when they destroyed the Maxwell Church. Those bastards! I was going to get them their stupid mobile suit, but they had to go and kill everyone?! ARGGGGHHH!!!! That's so not fair!! I.. I..

I am is Duo Maxwell. Together, Solo and I, we were a duo. Thus my first name. And Maxwell. For Father Maxwell and Sister Helen and the Maxwell Church. I'm the only one that survived. But could you really call it surviving? I wasn't exactly there. After that bloody incident, I wish I did die with everyone else. That way, I wouldn't be here right now, tormented by all the emotions and angst that I buried inside for too long. Oh, Solo, Father Maxwell, Sister Helen, why didn't you guys take me with you? Why did you have to go and leave me here in this rotten world? I didn't want to live, I didn't want to survive! What did I gain by surviving?! Pain! Pain, pain, pain! There's absolutely no point in me living anymore!!

..That's right. There's no point in me living anymore.

Steadily, I push myself up with my elbows and throw off the sheets infected with Heero's touch. Yea, they seem to feel cold all of a sudden. I shove myself off the bed and grasp the small nightstand to keep my balance. Remember, no pressure to the injured legs and wrists. From there, I slowly, slowly walk towards the bathroom door. Okay.. Good.. Almost there..

Alright. I shakily grab hold of the door knob and twist it open. I carefully step inside, since I can't really support myself with my weak legs. Blood-loss! ..Ah..now where is..my..razor?

Argh! I bet that idiot Heero went and took it away! No! Jackass! I fling the cabinet open. Ah ha! So the idiot didn't take it away! Wow, how stupid. Maybe he wants me to kill myself. Yea, mostly likely. But then why did he lie to Quatre? Hum. Interesting. That thing is confusing.

I take the razor out and slide down onto the cold tile floor. Huh. Looks like I didn't stain the floor after all. But doesn't blood stain? ...Like I said before, thinking just becomes a pain. Hmph. Let's just push that aside until after we're dead, Duo. Then I can ask almighty God before I go to hell.

I stare at my wounded wrist. It's so easy to just end it. Just one slice. Why did God make it so easy? I wonder. Okay.. Getting away from the reason why I scooted my ass here..

One slice. That's all. I bring the razor to my wrist. Soon.. It'll all be over soon..



Eck.

..Where.. DUO!

Tch. I really need to learn to lock the damn door.. And here comes the demon knight.. Barging in!



He grabs my shoulders--Agh, not the shaking! Noo!--and..shakes me. Sheeze. Notice how the person who you hate and confuses you always does things you don't want them to right on the spot. Wait..that's why you hate them.. Nevermind.. I don't think I'm thinking straight. My poor head..Aie..

What the hell are you doing, Duo?! he demands, glancing at the fallen razor, then back at me. Are you going to try again?!

Why wouldn't I? I respond carelessly, and see his expression become one of shock.

There are people who care for you, Duo.

Reeaaally? Name `em.

Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, Sally, Relena,--(Eh?)--..and--

If they really cared about me, I spit with venom, suddenly filled with anger, they would have noticed that what they saw wasn't true! Hmph. Now what are you going to say, oh powerful one? Heero? Think of something? What, that I'm too good at concealing it, too good at keeping secrets?

My name is Duo Maxwell. I may run and hide, but I never tell a lie.' ... What happened to that? he asks softly.

I stare at him, stunned. How.. How..does he know that..? I've..never said that in front of him in my entire life! ..How?!

It was a lie.. I mumble with a smile, head lowered. I can't see his expression, but from what I'm guessing, with my delusional mind and all, that it's both angry and dismayed. Isn't that funny?

..Duo.. I..

You! You what?! Hate me with everything within you?! Despise me for all I'm worth?! Scorn me for my weakness?! What, Heero?! WHAT?! Spit it out already! It's not like it's exactly a secret, you fucking bastard--Mmph

My eyes widen. Wha.. What the.. What the fuck is he doing?! He--He--He's..

KISSING ME?!

..Thi.. This can't be happening... N--No fucking way.. Heero.. The Perfect Soldier, the emotionless gundam pilot..trained to ignore everything and concentrate on the mission.. kissing me? ...I used to always fantasize about this moment, when the person I believed I loved most would drop his cold mask and kiss me.. But.. But..that..was..before I realized what an asshole he could be. I think..I.. I..

Shaking, I shove him away from me with all my strength. I can see him in a sort of kneeling position, looking at the bathroom floor, not at me. I stare, eyes wide as saucers. Confusion, anger, hate are flooding my mind, my body. I feel powerless. My.. My emotions are taking control.. I think I.. I..

I hate you, Heero Yuy!









-




Woo hoo! Finally! Yes? It sucks? Yea, I know. I tried to make it as long as the first chapter. I think it's longer. O_o;; ..Err.. Anyway.. Like the ending? HEHEHEHEE!!! MWA HAHAHA--! *buried in rotten garbage(of course garbage is rotten!)*

Heero: ...
Duo: ...Damn bastard kissed me..
Heero: O_O;; EH?! But--But--But..
Duo: I hate you.

--DING!--

--START LET'S LEARN JAPANESE!--

Today, you'll learn how to say I hate you in two ways! The basic form that is mostly used is:

Anata / kimi / omae / anta / kisama / person's name ga kirai (desu.)

means . So does , , and . is , but I think it's if you despise the person. (ie. Motoko from Love Hina refers to Keitaro as Urashima and kisama and she doesn't like him.)

If you want to be specific, like you're talking to a person that you don't hate, then you can put the person's name who you hate. Like if Duo was talking to Deathscythe:

Duo: Heero ga kirai (desu!)

Next is the particle . Similar to but you don't use for this. You can say I hate you without the particle . Example:

Anata / kimi / omae / anta / kisama / person's name kirai (desu.)

means . For a more dramatic effect (or if you simply REALLY REALLY hate the person), just add to (). Example:

Anata / kimi / omae / anta / kisama / person's name ga daikirai (desu.)

Now, you see how is in parentheses? It's optional.

Yay! You just learned some Japanese today! (Even if it's negative..) BUT! ...Hehe.. O_o;; Wasn't that easy? Next time, you'll be learning some adjectives and maybe a sentence (if, IF I remember. o.o;;)

--END LET'S LEARN JAPANESE!--

--DING!--

Heero: O_o;;
Sakura M.: Hehe. It was a one time thing. I was bored. Uh... Getting back to the...conversation..
Duo: Kisama ga daikirai desu. *referring to Heero*
Heero: *does the dramatic my-world-is-shattered mirror effect* *passes out*
Duo: ...
Sakura M.: ..o.O; I didn't think that was possible.
Duo: ....
Sakura M.: *stares at the dots* Didn't think that was possible, either. o.o;; Anyway! Please Review!

Sakura M.: PS(M! no o.O;;) ..O.o;; Meaningless babble--
Wufei: *out of nowhere* Isn't this whole thing meaningless?
Sakura M.: *vein pops out* Shut up! *kicks Wufei into a pond of piranhas*
Wufei: AIIGH! To be defeated by a wo--*gurgle gurgle*
Sakura M.: Anyway.. *ignores Wufei's pain-streaked cries* .. Aherm. I WATCHED TWELVE (12) EPISODES OF YU-GI-OH! (Japanese) Woo-hoo! I love anime's that have cards! (I mean, uses cards like CCS) It's awesome! The opening song is kewl! Woo! Okay, I'm done. *looks at the pond and sees bones floating up* o.o *scoots away slowly*