Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, do not sue me. This is only for entertainment.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Swearing, alcohol, drunkenness

- 1x2
- Angst
- Cutting
- Rating may change to R.


How You Gonna Handle?
written by Sakura Maxwell



Chapter 3

Aftermath





..Duo.. I..

You! You what?! Hate me with everything within you?! Despise me for all I'm worth?! Scorn me for my weakness?! What, Heero?! WHAT?! Spit it out already! It's not like it's exactly a secret, you fucking bastard--Mmph

My eyes widen. Wha.. What the.. What the fuck is he doing?! He--He--He's..

KISSING ME?!

Shaking, I shove him away from me with all my strength. I can see him in a sort of kneeling position, looking at the bathroom floor, not at me. I stare, eyes wide as saucers. Confusion, anger, hate are flooding my mind, my body. I feel powerless. My.. My emotions are taking control.. I think I.. I..

I hate you, Heero Yuy!

I inhale slowly, taking in deep breaths. Okay, I've just said what sums up about everything in my mind right now.. And I'm so confused! What the hell is going on..?! I look at Heero warily, and surprise myself to see his hands already in fists, shaking.

..His..

His whole body is shaking..

The hell?!

What the fuck is going on?! I demand aloud.

Silence.

I narrow my eyes at him, then push myself from the bathroom tiled floor. I need to get out of here, I need something that'll get my mind off of this stupid, insane, crazy, confusing topic!

Bling bling!

Right.. I need a drink...

I spin around and walk out of the bathroom, though my weight (weight? thinness...) is really killing my legs. My God. Ergh.. Well, alcohol will most definitely help with all of this shit.

I grab my robe from the closet and, as I'm draping it over me, the door bursts open, Quatre standing at the opening breathing hard.

Duo, I heard screaming! What happened?! he asks, voice filled with worry.

I stare, and Quatre gives me a funny look.

Duo, are you okay? he asks.

I.. I'm fine! I quickly blurt. I.. I just had a nightmare. Really shitty one, too. But, ah, I'm fine now... What if he doesn't believe me? .. My God! What if he sees Heero?! I'm in deep shit! Oh, damn, damn, damn!

But Quatre's expression lightens. (Whew..) That's good, he replies, smiling. (Very good, very good.) Is there anything you need? Are you still feeling sick?

I blink, weighing my choices. I could tell him I'm still sick and say I was gonna get something to eat downstairs, but I don't think my stomach knows what food is anymore, and I'm pretty sure he'll follow me and try to shove all kinds of things into me. (Eck.)

Or I could tell him the truth. (Oooooh, fuck.)



Q-man, I need a drink, I answer coolly, grinning as best I can.

Quatre's eyebrows raise slightly, expression skeptical. A drink? he asks hesitantly. But, Duo, is that really good for you? I mean, I'm not trying to intrude or anything but drinking when you don't feel so well isn't exactly such a good idea.

Eh, it's okay! I exclaim, walking up to him. I'm kinda shaken and all from that nightmare, so I think a drink will do nicely. Help me to relax, you know?

Quatre still looks doubtful.

I put a hand on his shoulder reassuringly. It's okay! I laugh. I won't get carried away, and I won't get drunk. I promise! Alright?

He looks down, and I feel a pang of guilt. Damnit, Quatre shouldn't have to put with me. He's just trying to do what's best for me and all I'm doing is lying to him. God, I'm scum.

It's okay.. You can. If it'll make you feel better.. he says.

I say, pretending to sound happy. Damnit.. I'm such a jerk. I follow him out of my room and shut the door. Well, at least Heero didn't come out. Stupid bastard. He better get out quickly, though. Erg..

Well, I hope you forget whatever was bothering you, and that nightmare, he says, smiling again. Good night, Duo.

I blink. I really don't deserve him as a friend.

Smiling, I say, G`night, Q-man!, waving as he walks down the hall to his room. I slowly lower my hand when his door closes, smile fading.

What would happen if he knew? Just what would be his reaction, exactly? I shudder, not wanting to even do that far. He'll never know, just like everyone else. It will always be my horrible, disgusting, shameful secret.

--Well, except for that idiot who BETTER be outta my room, but for some reason I highly doubt he's gonna tell anyone. Not so soon, anyway. And if he does, I should be dead by then.

I shake my head and go up two floors until I find the palour. I can see the small wet bar. Aaaah, sanctuary.

I make my way in back of the counter and grab some bottles. Right now, I need something strong, something that'll make me just forget. I start pouring anything into a glass, mixing in some coke. Coke, yum.

Tilting my head back, I down the contents. Aaaaahh, burns down my throat.. Damn..what the hell did I put in this thing... I shrug. It doesn't really matter, as long as it'll make me forget. I soon find myself making more and more drinks, until I just can't keep my hands from spilling the drinks. In no time flat I can feel the effects of them; my head is pounding and everything is blurry.

Exactly the effect I was looking for.

I place my glass down..well..more like drop it, but whatever, and turn around to grab another bottle when blackness takes over and I drop to the floor, unconscious.

-

Well, why the hell did you let him get drunk that late at night?!

I--I'm sorry.. He said he was having nightmares...

Nightmares?! So just because he's having nightmares you--

Wufei, calm down.

No, I cannot calm down, Trowa! I mean, look at him! This is the worst I've ever seen him!

The worst he's ever seen me? I muse as their voices wake me from my slumber. Slumber...haha, not even close..

I push myself up slowly, only to find that I'm on a couch. So they moved me... I realize with dread what has just happened. Oh my God, did they see anything?! Oh shit, they better not have or my life is so over... Oh shit, shit, shit! And this goddamned headache sure isn't making anything better. And I can't exactly turn down to look or that might make me seem to conspicuous...

Ah, Duo! You're awake! I hear Quatre exclaim. I turn towards him ever so slowly and manage to grin.

`Ey, Quatre, what's up? I ask casually.

Quatre blinks at me like I'm a freak (well maybe I am...) and I can see Wufei glaring daggers at me from behind. I wince slightly and turn my sight back to Quatre. So... Why're you guys all in here arguin'? You know, you woke me up with those loud voices. That's not polite...

Who cares about polite, Maxwell! Wufei snaps angrily. You came here at God knows what time and got yourself drunk?! What the hell were you thinking?!

I was thinking that I could get drunk?

You're so dead--

Wufei, calm down.

Trowa, shut the hell up! That idiot's gonna get a taste of my katana if he doesn't start answering my questions real soon--

I did answer them, I answer calmly, grinning. And can you stop yelling like that? You're not making me feel any better.



I wince again at his voice and watch as Trowa and Quatre have to restrain him from killing me. I smile in amusement and wonder if they should let him go. It'd finish my job a lot quicker, that's for sure. I don't know how painful it'd be though... Maybe I'll just do it...

Um, Heero, could you help take Wufei away for a bit so he can, err, calm down? Quatre asks a bit uncomfortably, looking towards the left.

At the sound of that name, my gaze follows his and it soon lands on the Japanese male standing to the side, leaning against the wall. My gaze narrows at him, and he avoids my glare.

Without a word, he walks towards the pissed Chinese man and drags him out of the palour. I have to hide a snicker and a glare, both reserved for two different people, and glance at the two remaining figures in the room.

It wasn't smart of you to taunt Wufei like that, Duo, Trowa states in his usual calm voice, but through my fuzzy brain I can detect that something is different about it. I cock my head, inviting him to continue.

You had us all worried, even Wufei was beginning to wonder where you were and if you were okay, he said, a faint smile playing on his lips. I have to return it and shake my head in disbelief, then promptly regret it. I grasp it in my hands to steady the pounding.

Oh, Duo... Maybe we should get you back to your room with some ice... Quatre says with concern, walking over and touching my head. I flinch back a little and shrug my shoulders.

You don't need to, I say quietly. It'll go away soon. But hey, look at the bright side. I forgot what my nightmare was!

Quatre and Trowa blinked, then the blonde smiled a big one. I'm glad you did, he says, removing his hand from my head. Well, I guess we'll leave you in here for awhile so you can recover. Oh, and don't worry, we won't let Wufei come in here, he added with a quick wink.

I have to push back a laugh and grin. Thanks a lot, Quatre. You too, Trowa, I say, glancing at the silent boy. He only nods and follows Quatre out of the room. Quatre waves and closes the door, leaving me alone to brood.

No, I didn't forget my . In fact, I think it just got worse.

-

Hahahaaa...Okay..this one REALLY sucked! X_x;; Sorry, people. Sorrrryyy..._x;; But I just typed 2-3 pages for the next chapter, so I hope I'm almost done with it. I think I just stopped cuz I'm stuck. Nuuu!!! Well, I'll see if I can do anymore. I hope you like this even a little!

Oh yea, please go to http://www.wingless.nu/letters/ to read anything else!! Everything will probably be posted there from now on, but I might continue putting it here also. Oh well, whichever the case, I'll still email you!! ^____^

10.28.02