Chapter 16:
The rain fell heavily, and I felt so alone in the house. Safe, but alone. The whole house was dark. I was in the kitchen washing the dishes, thinking about everything. Finishing up, I cleaned off the table, then sat down with my head in my hands. Oh man, what was I getting into? Things were already so complicated with the Cobras, but now Vince? It's bad enough I'm married to Eyeball, and that thing with Ace, but now Vince? I wish I knew what to do. I wish this would just all go away. Its too much crap.
I couldn't help feeling like this is what Jean must've felt like. As if I was living her life. I bet Eyeball never hit her though. I got up and started picking up Melanie and Jason's toys by the living room. I stood up and caught my breath. Vince was at the screen door, soaking wet in the pouring rain. His hands were placed on the screen and he was just looking at me. I carefully placed the doll and the bottle on the table, not taking my eyes off of Vince.
I slowly walked over to the door, unsure of everything. Now the screen-door separated us. We looked at each other in silence. I opened the door and went right into the rain and Vince's arms. We kissed slowly with the cold rain drenching us. A lot of thoughts rushed through my mind at that moment, but that didn't stop me. When we released I looked at him intently.
"Vince, I don't know what I'm doing." I told him softly.
"Don't think about it so much," He whispered and kissed me again. We backed into the house, still kissing, and sat on the couch. We stopped, and he just looked at me.
"I-I'm sorry, I can't." I said getting up, and walking back to the front door, looking at the rain, wanting to cry. He walked over to me, put his arms around my waist, and his lips by my ear.
"Jess, the last thing I want to do, is make you do something you don't want to." He whispered and let go of my waist. I turned to face him and looked at Vince, unsure of what he was going to do. Then, to my surprise he left, and went into the freezing rain. Looking back at me, then going into his house. I could feel my stomach fluttering. I was anxious and scared and confused.
I cried in my bed for an hour, as the rain pressed on. Then it hit me. I dried my tears and ran outside, letting droplets fall down my face. I ran to Vince's front door, and stood there for a minute. Without thinking, I just walked in. Quietly moving about the house, I found Vince's room. He was lying in his bed, back to the door. I quietly knocked on the opened door and he glanced my way. Surprised and shocked he got up. I walked over to him, not saying anything, and kissed him. Then in the middle of everything, he stopped me.
"Jess, we can't. I thought we could, but it just wouldn't be right." He said, and he was right. I couldn't do this. It's not like I was fifteen and could hop from one guy to the next. Although sometimes that would be easier.
I walked out of Vince's room, and house, and plunged into the rain. Sometimes I wish things were different. I got into the house, and went straight into my room, and started to cry. Why does everything have to be so hard? And why is it that nothing ever works out the way I wanted? And Eyeball would be home any minute to beat the shit out of me. Man, this sucks. Footsteps came from the bedroom door and stopped at the bed.
"Jess," The voice whispered and I turned around, not to see Eyeball but to see Vince, standing before me with droplets hanging on to his hair. I stood up, catching my breath. He wrapped his arms around my waist as my hung around his neck. We looked into each other's eyes intently. Thoughts raced through my mind, but they were all such a blur. We kissed slowly. Vince placed me on the bed, and laid atop me and kissed me. Something was wrong. How could this feel so right? The kisses grew sweeter and more breathtaking as the rain continued to fall.
I awoke to the sound of singing birds and the smell of fresh flowers after a good rainfall. The rain had stopped and everything was drying off, as a few droplets were determined to stay put. I turned and looked next to me, where Vince laid. He was still sleeping as I expected him to be. His bare chest against my skin was so warm. I stared at him through my curious blue eyes, I began to re-think everything.
Now what was I going to do? Stay with Eyeball or get together with Vince? What about the kids? And I seriously doubt Eyeball would let me off the hook this easily. Eyeball. Wait, where's Eyeball? I checked Vince's watch that was placed on the nightstand. It was seven-thirty. Eyeball should've been home hours ago. I got up and got dressed, putting on a black tube-top, tight, dark blue jeans, and black boots. I must've made too much noise because Vince started rustling about.
"Hey," He said, waking up. Somehow I was hoping he'd sleep forever. "Come here," He said, and I sat down, back to him, on my side of the bed. With the tube-top I had on, some of my bad bruises were visible. He hugged my stomach and kissed my bruises.
"Good morning." He said.
"You should get dressed,"
"Hey, you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." I turned my head to face him.
"Okay," He said and gave me a kiss. Vince put on his jeans and a navy blue t-shirt. He put on his shoes and we walked into the living room. I gasped as I saw Eyeball on the floor of the living room. I hate it when he does that. It really creeps me out.
"Oh man," I said looking at Eyeball.
"Is he okay?" Vince said, walking over to Eyeball and kneeling down. I did the same.
"He's fine. Just passed out. He always does this. A few of his drinkin' buddies just toss him inside." I went into the bedroom and quickly made the bed. I went back in the living room where Vince was.
"Help me get him into the room," I said and we both picked up Eyeball and put him into the bed.
"Thanks Vince," I turned and smiled at him. He put his hands on my hips and kissed me slowly. This time, I wasn't so into it.
"I, I really got to take care of him." I said stopping the kiss.
"Jess,"
"Vince, I think you should go."
"I think I'm falling in love with you," I closed my eyes, wishing he hadn't said that.
"Well, you better fall out of it." I looked over my shoulder at Eyeball. " I'm married to Eyeball. I-I love Eyeball." I looked back at him.
"Jess, last night,"
"Last night was a mistake. I wish it hadn't happened. I'm sorry, but this is just how it has to be. You understand, don't you?"
"I,"
"Vince, you understand right?" He looked down solemnly.
"Yeah," He said, and walked out of the room quickly. I wanted to call out to him, but nothing came out. I sat on the bed with my face in my hands wanting to cry. What did I just do? Man, I am such a moron. Eyeball woke up and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"Jess," He said.
"Yeah?" I said, rubbing his hand. I turned around and gave him a kiss.
The rain fell heavily, and I felt so alone in the house. Safe, but alone. The whole house was dark. I was in the kitchen washing the dishes, thinking about everything. Finishing up, I cleaned off the table, then sat down with my head in my hands. Oh man, what was I getting into? Things were already so complicated with the Cobras, but now Vince? It's bad enough I'm married to Eyeball, and that thing with Ace, but now Vince? I wish I knew what to do. I wish this would just all go away. Its too much crap.
I couldn't help feeling like this is what Jean must've felt like. As if I was living her life. I bet Eyeball never hit her though. I got up and started picking up Melanie and Jason's toys by the living room. I stood up and caught my breath. Vince was at the screen door, soaking wet in the pouring rain. His hands were placed on the screen and he was just looking at me. I carefully placed the doll and the bottle on the table, not taking my eyes off of Vince.
I slowly walked over to the door, unsure of everything. Now the screen-door separated us. We looked at each other in silence. I opened the door and went right into the rain and Vince's arms. We kissed slowly with the cold rain drenching us. A lot of thoughts rushed through my mind at that moment, but that didn't stop me. When we released I looked at him intently.
"Vince, I don't know what I'm doing." I told him softly.
"Don't think about it so much," He whispered and kissed me again. We backed into the house, still kissing, and sat on the couch. We stopped, and he just looked at me.
"I-I'm sorry, I can't." I said getting up, and walking back to the front door, looking at the rain, wanting to cry. He walked over to me, put his arms around my waist, and his lips by my ear.
"Jess, the last thing I want to do, is make you do something you don't want to." He whispered and let go of my waist. I turned to face him and looked at Vince, unsure of what he was going to do. Then, to my surprise he left, and went into the freezing rain. Looking back at me, then going into his house. I could feel my stomach fluttering. I was anxious and scared and confused.
I cried in my bed for an hour, as the rain pressed on. Then it hit me. I dried my tears and ran outside, letting droplets fall down my face. I ran to Vince's front door, and stood there for a minute. Without thinking, I just walked in. Quietly moving about the house, I found Vince's room. He was lying in his bed, back to the door. I quietly knocked on the opened door and he glanced my way. Surprised and shocked he got up. I walked over to him, not saying anything, and kissed him. Then in the middle of everything, he stopped me.
"Jess, we can't. I thought we could, but it just wouldn't be right." He said, and he was right. I couldn't do this. It's not like I was fifteen and could hop from one guy to the next. Although sometimes that would be easier.
I walked out of Vince's room, and house, and plunged into the rain. Sometimes I wish things were different. I got into the house, and went straight into my room, and started to cry. Why does everything have to be so hard? And why is it that nothing ever works out the way I wanted? And Eyeball would be home any minute to beat the shit out of me. Man, this sucks. Footsteps came from the bedroom door and stopped at the bed.
"Jess," The voice whispered and I turned around, not to see Eyeball but to see Vince, standing before me with droplets hanging on to his hair. I stood up, catching my breath. He wrapped his arms around my waist as my hung around his neck. We looked into each other's eyes intently. Thoughts raced through my mind, but they were all such a blur. We kissed slowly. Vince placed me on the bed, and laid atop me and kissed me. Something was wrong. How could this feel so right? The kisses grew sweeter and more breathtaking as the rain continued to fall.
I awoke to the sound of singing birds and the smell of fresh flowers after a good rainfall. The rain had stopped and everything was drying off, as a few droplets were determined to stay put. I turned and looked next to me, where Vince laid. He was still sleeping as I expected him to be. His bare chest against my skin was so warm. I stared at him through my curious blue eyes, I began to re-think everything.
Now what was I going to do? Stay with Eyeball or get together with Vince? What about the kids? And I seriously doubt Eyeball would let me off the hook this easily. Eyeball. Wait, where's Eyeball? I checked Vince's watch that was placed on the nightstand. It was seven-thirty. Eyeball should've been home hours ago. I got up and got dressed, putting on a black tube-top, tight, dark blue jeans, and black boots. I must've made too much noise because Vince started rustling about.
"Hey," He said, waking up. Somehow I was hoping he'd sleep forever. "Come here," He said, and I sat down, back to him, on my side of the bed. With the tube-top I had on, some of my bad bruises were visible. He hugged my stomach and kissed my bruises.
"Good morning." He said.
"You should get dressed,"
"Hey, you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." I turned my head to face him.
"Okay," He said and gave me a kiss. Vince put on his jeans and a navy blue t-shirt. He put on his shoes and we walked into the living room. I gasped as I saw Eyeball on the floor of the living room. I hate it when he does that. It really creeps me out.
"Oh man," I said looking at Eyeball.
"Is he okay?" Vince said, walking over to Eyeball and kneeling down. I did the same.
"He's fine. Just passed out. He always does this. A few of his drinkin' buddies just toss him inside." I went into the bedroom and quickly made the bed. I went back in the living room where Vince was.
"Help me get him into the room," I said and we both picked up Eyeball and put him into the bed.
"Thanks Vince," I turned and smiled at him. He put his hands on my hips and kissed me slowly. This time, I wasn't so into it.
"I, I really got to take care of him." I said stopping the kiss.
"Jess,"
"Vince, I think you should go."
"I think I'm falling in love with you," I closed my eyes, wishing he hadn't said that.
"Well, you better fall out of it." I looked over my shoulder at Eyeball. " I'm married to Eyeball. I-I love Eyeball." I looked back at him.
"Jess, last night,"
"Last night was a mistake. I wish it hadn't happened. I'm sorry, but this is just how it has to be. You understand, don't you?"
"I,"
"Vince, you understand right?" He looked down solemnly.
"Yeah," He said, and walked out of the room quickly. I wanted to call out to him, but nothing came out. I sat on the bed with my face in my hands wanting to cry. What did I just do? Man, I am such a moron. Eyeball woke up and wrapped his arms around my waist.
"Jess," He said.
"Yeah?" I said, rubbing his hand. I turned around and gave him a kiss.