Facts, Hats, and Fish Paste with a General
A Parody
Disclaimer: LALALALALA. Can't hear you Joss, so I guess the characters are mine; mine; mine! All mine! Hey! Who turned off my music? No Joss, you can't have them. Aww, go ahead, I have no room.
A/N: Now, remember it's a PARODY, and I will step on a lot of TOES in this story, and probably make some readers GAG, but don't worry, it's a PARODY.
________________
Ok, so like, you all didn't give me my 500 reviews, but I'm still going to update (see how nice I am to all of you? ^_^). I worked REALLY REALLY RIDICULOUSLY hard on this chappy so NO FLAMEZ. If you flame, I don't care, because *I* like it, who cares if you don't. I uploaded it because I WANT to, and I'm doing this just. For. Fun. For fun. Only.
(A/N: I got tired of Lara, so here is a new character! Enjoy!)
38742983740982741098743012928734839201928347328910
*Ding Dong* went the doorbell outside the Summer's residence. *Ding dong ding dong ding dong*
"Get it, Xand," Willow ordered her friend with authority.
"Okay, whatever you want Wills, anything. The door will be opened as of now. I am opening the door. The door is opening, said Xander".
Xander did as he was told and whoop! there it is! A pretty round faced and astoundingly GORGEOUS female with the bluest of black hair that cascaded in smooth waves down her flawless black. Her lips were red and...decadent. She looked a lot like Droodzilla.
"Hello, is my precioussss here?" She asked in an astoundingly sultry voice that was the sultriest of the sultriest.
"Your what?" Buffy asked with an "I am feeling blank" look on her face, (A/N: Which meant her face was blank, by the way. So blank. Blankity blank blank.)
"My Whilliam," she said, blowing the "wh" through her decadent lips, like this. :o (A/N: That's what my character looks like when she goes "wh").
"Oh right. I'll call him for you. For some reason he's living in my house. SPIKE. *SPIKE* SPIIIIICCCCKKKKKEEEEEE!!!!!!!!" Buffy screamed to the stairs.
The stairs didn't answer.
Spike came tumbling down the aforementioned stairs (A/N: The one Buffy spoke too *gigglez* I thought that joke up myself).
"Gasp! Is that really really you? Seanala? Seanala St. Petersburg?" Spike gasped, followed by "is that really really you? Seanala? Seanala St. Petersburg?" Spike gaspe--never mind.
Spike did a little jig with Seanala. Dance they did. Spike was heaving and out of breath. Heave heave heave he did.
Then he lit a cigarrete up because that's what Spike does.
"My Jame--er...Spike! You've come back!" She looked at him up and down before sniffing wildly into the air.
"What is that horrible smell? It smells like...like..."
"It's vanilla," Buffy finished. She thought sadly. Why can't anybody guess it's vanilla?
Suddenly for no reason, Dawn came down! Down came Dawn. The Dawn settled on the couch.
"Hey Spike," she said nonchalantly, all the meanwhile puckering her over- glossed lips. (A/N: This is what Dawn looked like puckering up: :o.)
"Hey Nibbles Nubbin," Spike returned.
Suddenly out of the blue, Buffy came out of the bathroom. No one SAW Buffy going into the restroom, so how did she go in there???...????
She was very grief-strickened. Her face looked jackety. Then she humdrummed some excabibbles and franted around the room.
"What is it, bollocks?" Spike asked, very very worried.
"It's...I'm...PREGGERS WITH YOUR CHILD!" She wailed.
"How'd you know it was mine, Niblet?"
Dawn glared at him with her teenagery pout. "Niblet's...mine..." she managed through gritted teeth.
"Well...who else could it be?"
Spike started counting off his fingers, "We've got the Poofy Peach, Captain Fishface, the whelp--" (A/N: I came up with all those names *gigglez* ^_^).
"Hey!!!" Xander said. Yup, just said. Even with all those exclamation points. !!!
"Not you, whelp." Truth was, *I* think it's just because Spike forgot Xander's name and so now all Spike can do is call Xander "whelp" because he forgot Xander's name. Did I also tell you about the time when Harmony called Drusilla "Droodzilla"? Oh yeah, that's because Harmony forgot Drusilla's name. Hahaha. Wasn't that funny?
"Not you, whelp. I mean that Parker fellow."
For no reason, Seanala popped up again because this is *her* story. "You're not pregnant with Spike's child anymore. I am." And she did a magic thing. You know, she poofed and then bam.
"But then it won't be half slayer!!!" Buffy said.
"Yes it will, because *I'm* a slayer."
198273094871092837481709823748712983740127983470912
Ooh a cliff hanger. Are you excited to see what happens? Oh yeah, I promised a rated R chappy (I'll sneak it under a G rating *gigglez*). Next one. Promise. That is if I get 7,383,000 reviews by...the next hour. R/R, C/C, S/B, F/I, L/M, all that good stuff.
Disclaimer: LALALALALA. Can't hear you Joss, so I guess the characters are mine; mine; mine! All mine! Hey! Who turned off my music? No Joss, you can't have them. Aww, go ahead, I have no room.
A/N: Now, remember it's a PARODY, and I will step on a lot of TOES in this story, and probably make some readers GAG, but don't worry, it's a PARODY.
________________
Ok, so like, you all didn't give me my 500 reviews, but I'm still going to update (see how nice I am to all of you? ^_^). I worked REALLY REALLY RIDICULOUSLY hard on this chappy so NO FLAMEZ. If you flame, I don't care, because *I* like it, who cares if you don't. I uploaded it because I WANT to, and I'm doing this just. For. Fun. For fun. Only.
(A/N: I got tired of Lara, so here is a new character! Enjoy!)
38742983740982741098743012928734839201928347328910
*Ding Dong* went the doorbell outside the Summer's residence. *Ding dong ding dong ding dong*
"Get it, Xand," Willow ordered her friend with authority.
"Okay, whatever you want Wills, anything. The door will be opened as of now. I am opening the door. The door is opening, said Xander".
Xander did as he was told and whoop! there it is! A pretty round faced and astoundingly GORGEOUS female with the bluest of black hair that cascaded in smooth waves down her flawless black. Her lips were red and...decadent. She looked a lot like Droodzilla.
"Hello, is my precioussss here?" She asked in an astoundingly sultry voice that was the sultriest of the sultriest.
"Your what?" Buffy asked with an "I am feeling blank" look on her face, (A/N: Which meant her face was blank, by the way. So blank. Blankity blank blank.)
"My Whilliam," she said, blowing the "wh" through her decadent lips, like this. :o (A/N: That's what my character looks like when she goes "wh").
"Oh right. I'll call him for you. For some reason he's living in my house. SPIKE. *SPIKE* SPIIIIICCCCKKKKKEEEEEE!!!!!!!!" Buffy screamed to the stairs.
The stairs didn't answer.
Spike came tumbling down the aforementioned stairs (A/N: The one Buffy spoke too *gigglez* I thought that joke up myself).
"Gasp! Is that really really you? Seanala? Seanala St. Petersburg?" Spike gasped, followed by "is that really really you? Seanala? Seanala St. Petersburg?" Spike gaspe--never mind.
Spike did a little jig with Seanala. Dance they did. Spike was heaving and out of breath. Heave heave heave he did.
Then he lit a cigarrete up because that's what Spike does.
"My Jame--er...Spike! You've come back!" She looked at him up and down before sniffing wildly into the air.
"What is that horrible smell? It smells like...like..."
"It's vanilla," Buffy finished. She thought sadly. Why can't anybody guess it's vanilla?
Suddenly for no reason, Dawn came down! Down came Dawn. The Dawn settled on the couch.
"Hey Spike," she said nonchalantly, all the meanwhile puckering her over- glossed lips. (A/N: This is what Dawn looked like puckering up: :o.)
"Hey Nibbles Nubbin," Spike returned.
Suddenly out of the blue, Buffy came out of the bathroom. No one SAW Buffy going into the restroom, so how did she go in there???...????
She was very grief-strickened. Her face looked jackety. Then she humdrummed some excabibbles and franted around the room.
"What is it, bollocks?" Spike asked, very very worried.
"It's...I'm...PREGGERS WITH YOUR CHILD!" She wailed.
"How'd you know it was mine, Niblet?"
Dawn glared at him with her teenagery pout. "Niblet's...mine..." she managed through gritted teeth.
"Well...who else could it be?"
Spike started counting off his fingers, "We've got the Poofy Peach, Captain Fishface, the whelp--" (A/N: I came up with all those names *gigglez* ^_^).
"Hey!!!" Xander said. Yup, just said. Even with all those exclamation points. !!!
"Not you, whelp." Truth was, *I* think it's just because Spike forgot Xander's name and so now all Spike can do is call Xander "whelp" because he forgot Xander's name. Did I also tell you about the time when Harmony called Drusilla "Droodzilla"? Oh yeah, that's because Harmony forgot Drusilla's name. Hahaha. Wasn't that funny?
"Not you, whelp. I mean that Parker fellow."
For no reason, Seanala popped up again because this is *her* story. "You're not pregnant with Spike's child anymore. I am." And she did a magic thing. You know, she poofed and then bam.
"But then it won't be half slayer!!!" Buffy said.
"Yes it will, because *I'm* a slayer."
198273094871092837481709823748712983740127983470912
Ooh a cliff hanger. Are you excited to see what happens? Oh yeah, I promised a rated R chappy (I'll sneak it under a G rating *gigglez*). Next one. Promise. That is if I get 7,383,000 reviews by...the next hour. R/R, C/C, S/B, F/I, L/M, all that good stuff.