A/N - Thanks to Lil and TeacherChez for reviewing! OK sorry there's been a
massive gap in updates but hey! OK I have a vague idea of where this is
going but I'm not 100% sure so if you have any ideas feel free to tell me
in a review . . .
Tina woke up late the next morning and for a moment wondered where she was. She couldn't understand why she wasn't waking up in Australia, with Sean by her side. . .It was only when she looked around the small room that the previous days events began to sink in. She was in the staff room, that much she knew. She must have slept here after. . .after. . . she just couldn't bring herself to say it. Just as the tears were about to flow she heard the door open,
"Sorry" she heard a male voice say, "I didn't realise anyone was in here"
Tina didn't say anything; she just continued to stare at the dirty coffee mugs. The person behind her seemed to think she was mad as he approached her with what felt to Tina like caution. Slowly he sat down next to her and Tina caught a glimpse of his blonde hair and was instantly reminded of Sam. She could tell that this man was also a nurse. He turned to her and smiled,
"My names Dillon" he said polity, "do you want to tell me yours?"
"Tina" she whispered, wanting to add that she was not insane or hijacking the staff room, but that Charlie had told her to wait here until she felt better. As she felt her eyes open slightly, she began to feel more awake. She turned to Dillon and whispered "I'm not mad you know"
"I never thought. . ."
"Yes you did" she said, finding herself smiling slightly, "You thought I was some nutter who'd decided to sleep on the sofa in here"
She saw a faint smile playing around Dillon's lips as he raised his hands in mock defeat, "OK" he said, now fully smiling, "You got me! But then, what are you doing here?"
Before Tina had a chance to answer the door opened again and Tina saw a flash of green as a paramedic entered. Tina didn't have to glance up to recognise the voice,
"Charlie says they're ready for you now Tina" Josh said, his usual smile now completely absent, "He says he'll walk you down there if you want"
Tina nodded, all the joy of the previous minute vanishing in an instant as she walked past Josh and out into reception. Dillon watched her go and wondered how the entire hospital seemed to know her name. He was just about to ask Josh when the paramedic spoke,
"Poor thing, as if she hasn't been through enough"
Dillon, still watching her talking to Charlie asked, "Who is she?"
"Tina" Josh replied, "She worked here a few years ago, emigrated to Australia with one of the doctors. Came back for the first time last night. The car they were in crashed. He didn't make it"
"God!" Dillon muttered involuntary, this woman mustn't even be 30 yet and she was already a widow.
Josh smiled slightly at Dillon's reaction, remembering the Tina he used to know, the one whose housewarming party he'd gone to. The one who was always laughing and having fun in the department. The one who was best friends with Sam and Sunny. The one who. . .
But just then the door burst open for a third time. Both Josh and Dillon looked up to see Nikki enter.
"Charlie wants one of you to do something. Call some bloke down south I think"
"Sam" Josh said, almost to himself,
"Yeah" Nikki replied looking confused, "How do you. . .?"
Josh didn't reply he simply strode out of the staff room and towards the phone in reception. As he pulled the phone onto the desk and looked at the hastily written number beside it he couldn't believe he was about to make this call. Sean's parents had already been told, Charlie had mentioned it earlier. He was just worried that Tina wouldn't have anyone to talk to. No one she was ever-good friends with was still here. Chloe, Amy, Sunny, Sam, even George. They'd all gone. Slowly, almost mechanically Josh picked up the phone and dialled the number. It was 3 rings before the person on the other end picked up.
"Hello?" said a cheerful voice that Josh recognised instantly to be Sam's.
"Sam? Hi it's Josh, from Holby. Yeah long time no see mate. Listen I'm not calling for me. It's Tina. . ." Josh heard Sam take a sharp intake of breath, "Don't worry mate, she's fine. It's Sean actually. They were on their way back from the airport and the car crashed. I'm sorry Sam but he didn't make it. Tina's fine, I saw her a few minutes ago, yes I'm sure. Melia?" Josh repeated, confused. Who the heck was Melia? A friend? A dog? Josh just didn't know what to say so he simply ignored that Sam had mentioned anything. "Sorry I don't know, but listen we can find out when you get here. That's why I called. Charlie doesn't want Tina to be alone now and as they were going to visit you anyway he thought you might be able to come up and stay with her. At least until after the funeral. OK. . .yeah I'll tell her. . .OK see you soon. Bye"
As Josh put down the phone he couldn't believe what he had just said. Sean Maddox. Dead. It was only through saying it that it suddenly became real to him. He slowly shook his head and left a note by reception to tell Charlie he phoned Sam. He simply continued to stare at the piece of paper. He'd never really known Sean, never got on with him, never disliked him. But to know that someone he had once sat in the staff-room with, or someone he'd spoken to was now dead. It just made him very aware of his own mortality. Just as he was about to completely lose himself in self pity Nikki came up behind him.
"Josh" she said quietly, as though aware that the phone call he had just made was important, "We've got a shout"
As both Nikki and Josh walked out of the busy A&E department Tina was walking back to it. After identifying her husbands body.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Charlie led her into the hospital, supporting her as she walked. She seemed so fragile at the moment, as though her whole world had imploded in on her which, Charlie realised, it probably had. As he looked at her face, no longer the tear-stained one of the previous night, just simply one that looked exhausted, he was unable to believe that one person could go through so much. The poor girl would never hurt a fly yet she'd been raped, betrayed by the first man she trusted, had her person business plastered all over the department and if that wasn't enough after finally thinking that things were going to be OK she was a widow. Slowly he took her straight through to the relative's room, it'd be quieter there, he told her. He'd get someone to wait with her until Sam came. As he walked out of the room to find someone who wasn't working he felt his heart go out to her in a way it never had before.
He walked through the department, desperately searching for someone who didn't look busy. Eventually he saw Duffy through the staff-room window and realised that she must have only just arrived. He opened the door to speak to her. . .
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tina looked up as the door opened. She had been ideally flicking through ht TV channels on the battered television in the corner of the room. As she looked up she expected to see Charlie again, telling her some new piece of information. Instead she found the maternal eyes of Duffy staring back at her. Tina didn't feel like chatting at the moment so she simply acknowledged Duffy's presence and hoped that she would get the message.
She didn't.
"Charlie's told me" she said by way of greeting. "I'm sorry Tina I really am"
Tina didn't reply and this time Duffy got the message. Duffy knew exactly what the young woman was going through right now. Charlie had mentioned that Tina and Sean had a daughter as well; she was up on the children's ward until Tina could get a place to stay. As neither seemed able to talk the silence in the room crept up on them slowly, threatening to suffocate. It was only when, after two hours of sleep for Tina that the door opened and Charlie walked in, holding the hand of a small two year old girl. As soon as Duffy saw the child she knew who her parents were. She had Sean's colouring and his dark hair. But the child's face was pure Tina. The little button nose and the blue eyes, which looked so unique, mixed with her dark skin and hair. There was only one word that seemed able to describe this child. Gorgeous.
On noticing that Tina was asleep Charlie slowed his movements down, so as not to wake Tina from the first real sleep she'd had in possibly 48 hours. He sat down next to Duffy holding the child on his knee as he whispered.
"She kept calling out 'Mama' and they needed to bed back so I thought she'd be better of with Tina. Has she been asleep long?"
"About two hours" Duffy replied looking at her watch. "God, you can tell she's Sean's can't you!" she added as Melia began to tottle over to the television, messing with everything she could find.
"Yeah. You really can" he replied, his voice taking on a slightly wistful tone. "Oh yeah! Comfort just brought this in. It's from the accident. Tina's bag I think"
Duffy took the leather handbag from him and just before she opened it turned to Charlie in an attempt to justify her actions, "We need to know who her next of kin is"
He merely shrugged and allowed her to continue. As she pulled out a mobile she saw Charlie search the purse. Duffy scanned through the numbers, Amy, Bryon, Caitlin, Debbie, Jim, Karen, Katie, Marcy, Max. Duffy paused. Max. Surely that couldn't be. No. Why would Tina still have Max's number? It must be some she'd met in Australia. Duffy shook her head and continued, Marcy, Mum, Sam, Sean Mob and finally Sunny. The obvious one seemed to be 'Mum' but Duffy couldn't help staring at Sean Mob. The one number she'd never ring again. As she jotted down the number for me she felt something drop to the floor from Tina's bag. As she picked it up she felt her heart catch in her throat. It was a photo. A small folded photo. It must have been taken when Melia was young. It showed Sean, his arms around Tina's waist as she cradled baby Melia and both of them looked lovingly at their new daughter. As she turned it over she read the neat writing on the back.
Tina, Sean and Melia. Melia's first day out!
And underneath written in different writing,
Taken by their bestest friend Katie!
Duffy felt herself about to cry for reasons she couldn't understand when she felt Tina stir beside her. As Tina sat up Duffy saw her eyes struggle to focus. Eventually Tina saw her daughter and her arms opened. Almost instantly Melia recognised this action and attempted to run to her mother. As Tina embraced her daughter Duffy and Charlie took their cue and left.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Almost two hours passed before either Charlie or Duffy spoke again. It was only when a familiar blonde head walked through the double doors that they even remembered that the Relative's Room was even occupied. As soon as he saw that hair though, Charlie remembered. As he went to fetch Tina he couldn't help feeling like this was all happening to someone else.
He knocked on the door before entering. He nodded to Tina and she knew then. As she slowly walked out Charlie stayed back, walking with Melia. As soon as Tina saw Sam her walk stopped and she broke into a run. As he wrapped his arms around her and whispered soothingly to her she cried until she didn't thing she could cry any more. She cried until all the hurt was gone, until all she could feel was the arms of her best friend wrapped protectively around her.
Tina woke up late the next morning and for a moment wondered where she was. She couldn't understand why she wasn't waking up in Australia, with Sean by her side. . .It was only when she looked around the small room that the previous days events began to sink in. She was in the staff room, that much she knew. She must have slept here after. . .after. . . she just couldn't bring herself to say it. Just as the tears were about to flow she heard the door open,
"Sorry" she heard a male voice say, "I didn't realise anyone was in here"
Tina didn't say anything; she just continued to stare at the dirty coffee mugs. The person behind her seemed to think she was mad as he approached her with what felt to Tina like caution. Slowly he sat down next to her and Tina caught a glimpse of his blonde hair and was instantly reminded of Sam. She could tell that this man was also a nurse. He turned to her and smiled,
"My names Dillon" he said polity, "do you want to tell me yours?"
"Tina" she whispered, wanting to add that she was not insane or hijacking the staff room, but that Charlie had told her to wait here until she felt better. As she felt her eyes open slightly, she began to feel more awake. She turned to Dillon and whispered "I'm not mad you know"
"I never thought. . ."
"Yes you did" she said, finding herself smiling slightly, "You thought I was some nutter who'd decided to sleep on the sofa in here"
She saw a faint smile playing around Dillon's lips as he raised his hands in mock defeat, "OK" he said, now fully smiling, "You got me! But then, what are you doing here?"
Before Tina had a chance to answer the door opened again and Tina saw a flash of green as a paramedic entered. Tina didn't have to glance up to recognise the voice,
"Charlie says they're ready for you now Tina" Josh said, his usual smile now completely absent, "He says he'll walk you down there if you want"
Tina nodded, all the joy of the previous minute vanishing in an instant as she walked past Josh and out into reception. Dillon watched her go and wondered how the entire hospital seemed to know her name. He was just about to ask Josh when the paramedic spoke,
"Poor thing, as if she hasn't been through enough"
Dillon, still watching her talking to Charlie asked, "Who is she?"
"Tina" Josh replied, "She worked here a few years ago, emigrated to Australia with one of the doctors. Came back for the first time last night. The car they were in crashed. He didn't make it"
"God!" Dillon muttered involuntary, this woman mustn't even be 30 yet and she was already a widow.
Josh smiled slightly at Dillon's reaction, remembering the Tina he used to know, the one whose housewarming party he'd gone to. The one who was always laughing and having fun in the department. The one who was best friends with Sam and Sunny. The one who. . .
But just then the door burst open for a third time. Both Josh and Dillon looked up to see Nikki enter.
"Charlie wants one of you to do something. Call some bloke down south I think"
"Sam" Josh said, almost to himself,
"Yeah" Nikki replied looking confused, "How do you. . .?"
Josh didn't reply he simply strode out of the staff room and towards the phone in reception. As he pulled the phone onto the desk and looked at the hastily written number beside it he couldn't believe he was about to make this call. Sean's parents had already been told, Charlie had mentioned it earlier. He was just worried that Tina wouldn't have anyone to talk to. No one she was ever-good friends with was still here. Chloe, Amy, Sunny, Sam, even George. They'd all gone. Slowly, almost mechanically Josh picked up the phone and dialled the number. It was 3 rings before the person on the other end picked up.
"Hello?" said a cheerful voice that Josh recognised instantly to be Sam's.
"Sam? Hi it's Josh, from Holby. Yeah long time no see mate. Listen I'm not calling for me. It's Tina. . ." Josh heard Sam take a sharp intake of breath, "Don't worry mate, she's fine. It's Sean actually. They were on their way back from the airport and the car crashed. I'm sorry Sam but he didn't make it. Tina's fine, I saw her a few minutes ago, yes I'm sure. Melia?" Josh repeated, confused. Who the heck was Melia? A friend? A dog? Josh just didn't know what to say so he simply ignored that Sam had mentioned anything. "Sorry I don't know, but listen we can find out when you get here. That's why I called. Charlie doesn't want Tina to be alone now and as they were going to visit you anyway he thought you might be able to come up and stay with her. At least until after the funeral. OK. . .yeah I'll tell her. . .OK see you soon. Bye"
As Josh put down the phone he couldn't believe what he had just said. Sean Maddox. Dead. It was only through saying it that it suddenly became real to him. He slowly shook his head and left a note by reception to tell Charlie he phoned Sam. He simply continued to stare at the piece of paper. He'd never really known Sean, never got on with him, never disliked him. But to know that someone he had once sat in the staff-room with, or someone he'd spoken to was now dead. It just made him very aware of his own mortality. Just as he was about to completely lose himself in self pity Nikki came up behind him.
"Josh" she said quietly, as though aware that the phone call he had just made was important, "We've got a shout"
As both Nikki and Josh walked out of the busy A&E department Tina was walking back to it. After identifying her husbands body.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Charlie led her into the hospital, supporting her as she walked. She seemed so fragile at the moment, as though her whole world had imploded in on her which, Charlie realised, it probably had. As he looked at her face, no longer the tear-stained one of the previous night, just simply one that looked exhausted, he was unable to believe that one person could go through so much. The poor girl would never hurt a fly yet she'd been raped, betrayed by the first man she trusted, had her person business plastered all over the department and if that wasn't enough after finally thinking that things were going to be OK she was a widow. Slowly he took her straight through to the relative's room, it'd be quieter there, he told her. He'd get someone to wait with her until Sam came. As he walked out of the room to find someone who wasn't working he felt his heart go out to her in a way it never had before.
He walked through the department, desperately searching for someone who didn't look busy. Eventually he saw Duffy through the staff-room window and realised that she must have only just arrived. He opened the door to speak to her. . .
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Tina looked up as the door opened. She had been ideally flicking through ht TV channels on the battered television in the corner of the room. As she looked up she expected to see Charlie again, telling her some new piece of information. Instead she found the maternal eyes of Duffy staring back at her. Tina didn't feel like chatting at the moment so she simply acknowledged Duffy's presence and hoped that she would get the message.
She didn't.
"Charlie's told me" she said by way of greeting. "I'm sorry Tina I really am"
Tina didn't reply and this time Duffy got the message. Duffy knew exactly what the young woman was going through right now. Charlie had mentioned that Tina and Sean had a daughter as well; she was up on the children's ward until Tina could get a place to stay. As neither seemed able to talk the silence in the room crept up on them slowly, threatening to suffocate. It was only when, after two hours of sleep for Tina that the door opened and Charlie walked in, holding the hand of a small two year old girl. As soon as Duffy saw the child she knew who her parents were. She had Sean's colouring and his dark hair. But the child's face was pure Tina. The little button nose and the blue eyes, which looked so unique, mixed with her dark skin and hair. There was only one word that seemed able to describe this child. Gorgeous.
On noticing that Tina was asleep Charlie slowed his movements down, so as not to wake Tina from the first real sleep she'd had in possibly 48 hours. He sat down next to Duffy holding the child on his knee as he whispered.
"She kept calling out 'Mama' and they needed to bed back so I thought she'd be better of with Tina. Has she been asleep long?"
"About two hours" Duffy replied looking at her watch. "God, you can tell she's Sean's can't you!" she added as Melia began to tottle over to the television, messing with everything she could find.
"Yeah. You really can" he replied, his voice taking on a slightly wistful tone. "Oh yeah! Comfort just brought this in. It's from the accident. Tina's bag I think"
Duffy took the leather handbag from him and just before she opened it turned to Charlie in an attempt to justify her actions, "We need to know who her next of kin is"
He merely shrugged and allowed her to continue. As she pulled out a mobile she saw Charlie search the purse. Duffy scanned through the numbers, Amy, Bryon, Caitlin, Debbie, Jim, Karen, Katie, Marcy, Max. Duffy paused. Max. Surely that couldn't be. No. Why would Tina still have Max's number? It must be some she'd met in Australia. Duffy shook her head and continued, Marcy, Mum, Sam, Sean Mob and finally Sunny. The obvious one seemed to be 'Mum' but Duffy couldn't help staring at Sean Mob. The one number she'd never ring again. As she jotted down the number for me she felt something drop to the floor from Tina's bag. As she picked it up she felt her heart catch in her throat. It was a photo. A small folded photo. It must have been taken when Melia was young. It showed Sean, his arms around Tina's waist as she cradled baby Melia and both of them looked lovingly at their new daughter. As she turned it over she read the neat writing on the back.
Tina, Sean and Melia. Melia's first day out!
And underneath written in different writing,
Taken by their bestest friend Katie!
Duffy felt herself about to cry for reasons she couldn't understand when she felt Tina stir beside her. As Tina sat up Duffy saw her eyes struggle to focus. Eventually Tina saw her daughter and her arms opened. Almost instantly Melia recognised this action and attempted to run to her mother. As Tina embraced her daughter Duffy and Charlie took their cue and left.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Almost two hours passed before either Charlie or Duffy spoke again. It was only when a familiar blonde head walked through the double doors that they even remembered that the Relative's Room was even occupied. As soon as he saw that hair though, Charlie remembered. As he went to fetch Tina he couldn't help feeling like this was all happening to someone else.
He knocked on the door before entering. He nodded to Tina and she knew then. As she slowly walked out Charlie stayed back, walking with Melia. As soon as Tina saw Sam her walk stopped and she broke into a run. As he wrapped his arms around her and whispered soothingly to her she cried until she didn't thing she could cry any more. She cried until all the hurt was gone, until all she could feel was the arms of her best friend wrapped protectively around her.