**Disclaimer: I don't own Lara Croft or Tomb Raider. I do own me though! And you can't use me without my permission unless you have my permission. Cuz then you'd have my permission. Ok then.........I like myself....**
**Author Insanity: Ok!! I'm back again!! You can never stop me! The idea from this is actually a weird little dream I had. I'd been playing the new Tomb Raider game and all of a sudden the little virtual Lara started talking to me. Of course, I later realized I'd actually fallen asleep while playing the game (Man, see now that's what happens when you don't sleep for 3 days in a row.) and it had affected my dreams. So of course I'd turn it into a fic. Onto the fic.**
You Can Forget It!!
"Aw DAMNIT!!!"
For the thirteenth time the little virtual Lara squealed as she plummeted to her death in the big circular chamber. Jessy took the controller and slung it across the room, where it hit the wall and bounced back harmlessly onto the carpet. (I have beige carpet in my room.What color do you have?)
She went back and looked at the guidebook sitting innocently on the bed.
"Ok, it says jump the gap then drop down on the side of the bridge. BUT SHE CAN'T EVEN MAKE THE FUCKING JUMP!!!!" She felt like yanking her hair out. "The company pays these people to make the guides so you know what to do so WHY DON'T THEY MAKE ANY SENSE???"
Jessy looked back down at the almost impossible to see screenshots and tried to pinpoint where exactly she was supposed to go in the game. It would have helped a little bit if they made the screenshots just a tad bit bigger or SOMETHING.
After a few minutes of trying to decipher where to go, she picked the controller back up and sat back in her chair. She took a deep breath and decided to go for the jump one more time.
She pressed down on the action button. Nothing happened. 'I great, I broke another one. That's just perfect.' Jessy kept mashing the buttons in a futile attempt to get something to work.
"Ok, the game hasn't locked up cuz those bats are still flying around. Wonderful. I have to get a new controller now." She sighed and tossed the controller on the ground.
"It's not the controller you nimrod."
Jessy's head snapped up. (Isn't hearing voices FUN?? Mine tell me to burn things.) Her eyebrows raised as she saw that the camera had rotated around to the front of the little polygon character.
"What the--"
"Hell, right? God knows I've been listening to you rant and rave for years already I know exactly what you're going to say."
Jessy rubbed her eyes. The little Lara onscreen was talking to her. That's.....that's just not right.
Virtual Lara leaned her hip against the bridge's railing. "Look, I've about had it with you constantly killing me off. I mean honestly! You don't even know where you're going, do you?!"
"I'm just following what the guidebook says--"
"Oh what the guidebook says! What the GUIDEBOOK says! What, you think that the almighty guidebook couldn't be wrong once in a while?!" She pointed a finger at Jessy. "Well no more! I'm NOT going to try to jump that bridge anymore! You can just forget it!"
And with that, she turned and walked off the screen, completely out of Jessy's view.
Jessy blinked a few times. "I'm gonna assume that nobody else saw that......."
*************
Wow. I had fun writing that. (FIREFIREFIRE!!!!HAHAHAHAHA!!!) Come on, it could happen! Well......maybe......Ok it couldn't but it would be weird if it did! Well, tell me what you think and R&R please! BAI!
~~Jessy A.
**Author Insanity: Ok!! I'm back again!! You can never stop me! The idea from this is actually a weird little dream I had. I'd been playing the new Tomb Raider game and all of a sudden the little virtual Lara started talking to me. Of course, I later realized I'd actually fallen asleep while playing the game (Man, see now that's what happens when you don't sleep for 3 days in a row.) and it had affected my dreams. So of course I'd turn it into a fic. Onto the fic.**
You Can Forget It!!
"Aw DAMNIT!!!"
For the thirteenth time the little virtual Lara squealed as she plummeted to her death in the big circular chamber. Jessy took the controller and slung it across the room, where it hit the wall and bounced back harmlessly onto the carpet. (I have beige carpet in my room.What color do you have?)
She went back and looked at the guidebook sitting innocently on the bed.
"Ok, it says jump the gap then drop down on the side of the bridge. BUT SHE CAN'T EVEN MAKE THE FUCKING JUMP!!!!" She felt like yanking her hair out. "The company pays these people to make the guides so you know what to do so WHY DON'T THEY MAKE ANY SENSE???"
Jessy looked back down at the almost impossible to see screenshots and tried to pinpoint where exactly she was supposed to go in the game. It would have helped a little bit if they made the screenshots just a tad bit bigger or SOMETHING.
After a few minutes of trying to decipher where to go, she picked the controller back up and sat back in her chair. She took a deep breath and decided to go for the jump one more time.
She pressed down on the action button. Nothing happened. 'I great, I broke another one. That's just perfect.' Jessy kept mashing the buttons in a futile attempt to get something to work.
"Ok, the game hasn't locked up cuz those bats are still flying around. Wonderful. I have to get a new controller now." She sighed and tossed the controller on the ground.
"It's not the controller you nimrod."
Jessy's head snapped up. (Isn't hearing voices FUN?? Mine tell me to burn things.) Her eyebrows raised as she saw that the camera had rotated around to the front of the little polygon character.
"What the--"
"Hell, right? God knows I've been listening to you rant and rave for years already I know exactly what you're going to say."
Jessy rubbed her eyes. The little Lara onscreen was talking to her. That's.....that's just not right.
Virtual Lara leaned her hip against the bridge's railing. "Look, I've about had it with you constantly killing me off. I mean honestly! You don't even know where you're going, do you?!"
"I'm just following what the guidebook says--"
"Oh what the guidebook says! What the GUIDEBOOK says! What, you think that the almighty guidebook couldn't be wrong once in a while?!" She pointed a finger at Jessy. "Well no more! I'm NOT going to try to jump that bridge anymore! You can just forget it!"
And with that, she turned and walked off the screen, completely out of Jessy's view.
Jessy blinked a few times. "I'm gonna assume that nobody else saw that......."
*************
Wow. I had fun writing that. (FIREFIREFIRE!!!!HAHAHAHAHA!!!) Come on, it could happen! Well......maybe......Ok it couldn't but it would be weird if it did! Well, tell me what you think and R&R please! BAI!
~~Jessy A.