From early in that morning for nearly all of the next day, Sarah resolutely
worked herself like a dog. Even more than she had the day before and with
none of the excitement of something good and new. She knew exactly what
parts of that painting needed doing today, and all of a sudden, she wanted
it done and finished yesterday. She couldn't have pinpointed exactly what
it was about the painting that suddenly freaked her out, but after her
dream the night before, she wanted nothing to do with anything that made
her feel uncomfortable. She wasn't going back to that wreck of a girl she'd
been 8 years before.
It had taken months after her return to the real world outside of the Labyrinth to get her head back together again. Months when every time she had seen her little brother in his crib or walking around the lounge room or being fed one of his meals, she had collapsed into fits of tears. When she had woken in the middle of the night only to run down the corridor and into his room and gather him up in her arms and hold him tight, sobbing in her very real relief that he was still there and she was still there and. Too many nights when she had stayed there like that until her father had come into Toby's room, woken up by the baby's waking howls at being jerked awake at such a late hour. After one too many nights found there like that, her father had followed her into her bedroom which she had changed quite drastically after her return and sat at the end of her bed at something like 4 o'clock in the morning and tried to talk through with her why it was that she was behaving in the way that she was.
When Sarah had finally cracked and first opened her mouth to speak out about the Labyrinth and the Goblin King and her wish to have Toby sent away and the fear and terror that had propelled her into rushing in there right after him, everything had come out in a jumbled up mess. She had barely looked up at her father all the way through it, and even if she had, she didn't realize that he was staring at her in an expression somewhere between frank disbelief and mute horror. In the end, when her father had stopped her with the finality of a hand pressed over hers and a terse, 'That's enough, Sarah,' she had been unable to claim the edge of calm that she'd grasped around her as a cloak to hide her truer emotions ever since she had returned.
And worse; she came back to herself to find that of everything that she had revealed to her father that night, he had believed none of it.
Then had been the start of her counseling sessions. It hadn't taken many weekends of her Doctor's raised eyebrows and constant 'hmm's to bring Sarah to the awareness that none of what she said of the Labyrinth was ever going to believe. She was totally and utterly alone in this.
Over a year later, with nothing hanging over to act as reminder of her time spent within the Labyrinth, Sarah finally came to realize that there was no reason to hold onto something that nobody would ever believe when it obviously wasn't going to come back as a part of her life. Only then had she been able to let it go. At least, let it go enough to allow herself to live a semi normal life.
There was no way on this earth or any other that she was going to allow herself to regress back to those times again.
With flourish and finality, Sarah signed her name in the bottom corner of her artwork and stepped back to admire it. Even though she still couldn't fault it as a more than valid work of art, somehow, she just couldn't manage to gather the amount of excitement that it had brought out in her the day before.
A knock sounded at her door. Sarah's eyes narrowed in wonder. As far as she remembered, she wasn't expecting anybody. Closing the door to her work room with an additional touch of finality, she walked down the short hallway towards the front door to answer whoever stood there.
"Surprise sis!"
Before she knew it, she had her younger brother's arms strangling around her neck. Getting over the surprise, Sarah relaxed enough to put her arms around Toby's more muscular body in a warm hug. As they pulled apart, she couldn't help the smile she felt tugging at the edges of her mouth. It was the best that she had felt all day.
"Toby, what are you doing here?" she asked, holding him at the upper arms and looking to see how he'd changed since she'd last seen him.
"Well, I was just in the neighborhood," he said, walking around her and into her flat, making himself completely at home. "I knew that I couldn't pass this place without dropping in on you for at least one night!"
Again Sarah smiled and wondered quickly how she could ever have wished him into the Goblin World. With a slight twitch of her neck, she forcibly banished the thought, but the damage was already done. The smile was gone from her face, and she couldn't get it back.
His back to her already, Toby didn't realize the difference in her features. Biding time to compose herself, Sarah turned back to close her front door, and then followed on after him.
"So, what are you working on at the moment?" Toby asked, looking at the pictures hooked on her walls that she changed every time he was over. "Anything interesting?"
The question was asked only out of politeness, Sarah knew. Anything that she was working on, Toby would find interesting. He was just going for the quickest way to get her to show it to him. Yet curiously, this time she didn't feel the familiar pull to sharing her work with him.
"Actually no, nothing that's actually here at the moment, but how about some tea?" Sarah asked, moving to redirect him towards her kitchen. "While we're there, you can tell me what you've been up to lately."
She opened her fridge to pull out a cool drink for both of them as Toby settled down on the kitchen stool.
"Oh, you know. Same old," he answered her evasively. Sarah looked at him over here shoulder strangely. Sometimes she wondered if her little brother got any enjoyment out of being the brainy one of the family; the golden child that his parents lived their academic dreams though.
"Yeah?" Sarah asked, not wanting to pry. She started looking in the freezer for something to cook up for both of them. Finding nothing for a moment, she dug a little deeper, hoping to find something that she could eat with Toby without blushing at her own inadequacies as a hostess. "Hey, what do you think of.?"
The rest of her question drifted off as Sarah turned to find that the bench where Toby had been sitting just a moment ago was now painfully absent.
*
It had taken months after her return to the real world outside of the Labyrinth to get her head back together again. Months when every time she had seen her little brother in his crib or walking around the lounge room or being fed one of his meals, she had collapsed into fits of tears. When she had woken in the middle of the night only to run down the corridor and into his room and gather him up in her arms and hold him tight, sobbing in her very real relief that he was still there and she was still there and. Too many nights when she had stayed there like that until her father had come into Toby's room, woken up by the baby's waking howls at being jerked awake at such a late hour. After one too many nights found there like that, her father had followed her into her bedroom which she had changed quite drastically after her return and sat at the end of her bed at something like 4 o'clock in the morning and tried to talk through with her why it was that she was behaving in the way that she was.
When Sarah had finally cracked and first opened her mouth to speak out about the Labyrinth and the Goblin King and her wish to have Toby sent away and the fear and terror that had propelled her into rushing in there right after him, everything had come out in a jumbled up mess. She had barely looked up at her father all the way through it, and even if she had, she didn't realize that he was staring at her in an expression somewhere between frank disbelief and mute horror. In the end, when her father had stopped her with the finality of a hand pressed over hers and a terse, 'That's enough, Sarah,' she had been unable to claim the edge of calm that she'd grasped around her as a cloak to hide her truer emotions ever since she had returned.
And worse; she came back to herself to find that of everything that she had revealed to her father that night, he had believed none of it.
Then had been the start of her counseling sessions. It hadn't taken many weekends of her Doctor's raised eyebrows and constant 'hmm's to bring Sarah to the awareness that none of what she said of the Labyrinth was ever going to believe. She was totally and utterly alone in this.
Over a year later, with nothing hanging over to act as reminder of her time spent within the Labyrinth, Sarah finally came to realize that there was no reason to hold onto something that nobody would ever believe when it obviously wasn't going to come back as a part of her life. Only then had she been able to let it go. At least, let it go enough to allow herself to live a semi normal life.
There was no way on this earth or any other that she was going to allow herself to regress back to those times again.
With flourish and finality, Sarah signed her name in the bottom corner of her artwork and stepped back to admire it. Even though she still couldn't fault it as a more than valid work of art, somehow, she just couldn't manage to gather the amount of excitement that it had brought out in her the day before.
A knock sounded at her door. Sarah's eyes narrowed in wonder. As far as she remembered, she wasn't expecting anybody. Closing the door to her work room with an additional touch of finality, she walked down the short hallway towards the front door to answer whoever stood there.
"Surprise sis!"
Before she knew it, she had her younger brother's arms strangling around her neck. Getting over the surprise, Sarah relaxed enough to put her arms around Toby's more muscular body in a warm hug. As they pulled apart, she couldn't help the smile she felt tugging at the edges of her mouth. It was the best that she had felt all day.
"Toby, what are you doing here?" she asked, holding him at the upper arms and looking to see how he'd changed since she'd last seen him.
"Well, I was just in the neighborhood," he said, walking around her and into her flat, making himself completely at home. "I knew that I couldn't pass this place without dropping in on you for at least one night!"
Again Sarah smiled and wondered quickly how she could ever have wished him into the Goblin World. With a slight twitch of her neck, she forcibly banished the thought, but the damage was already done. The smile was gone from her face, and she couldn't get it back.
His back to her already, Toby didn't realize the difference in her features. Biding time to compose herself, Sarah turned back to close her front door, and then followed on after him.
"So, what are you working on at the moment?" Toby asked, looking at the pictures hooked on her walls that she changed every time he was over. "Anything interesting?"
The question was asked only out of politeness, Sarah knew. Anything that she was working on, Toby would find interesting. He was just going for the quickest way to get her to show it to him. Yet curiously, this time she didn't feel the familiar pull to sharing her work with him.
"Actually no, nothing that's actually here at the moment, but how about some tea?" Sarah asked, moving to redirect him towards her kitchen. "While we're there, you can tell me what you've been up to lately."
She opened her fridge to pull out a cool drink for both of them as Toby settled down on the kitchen stool.
"Oh, you know. Same old," he answered her evasively. Sarah looked at him over here shoulder strangely. Sometimes she wondered if her little brother got any enjoyment out of being the brainy one of the family; the golden child that his parents lived their academic dreams though.
"Yeah?" Sarah asked, not wanting to pry. She started looking in the freezer for something to cook up for both of them. Finding nothing for a moment, she dug a little deeper, hoping to find something that she could eat with Toby without blushing at her own inadequacies as a hostess. "Hey, what do you think of.?"
The rest of her question drifted off as Sarah turned to find that the bench where Toby had been sitting just a moment ago was now painfully absent.
*