Regrets
Author: Ally (Hafthand@aol.com)
Summary: See chapter 1
Disclaimer: Alas, they are not mine!
Thanx: For all of you who have reviewed thank you sooo much for the motivation!!!!
Comments: Okay chapter is a little heavy on the emotional stuff, and I tried to write it well so
please review and tell me what you think!!! Thanks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 3: No, I Don't
"I've sure enjoyed the rain,
But I'm looking forward to the sun.
You have to fell the pain
When you lose the love you gave someone
I thought by now the time
Would take away these lonely tears
I hope you're doing fine all alone.
But where do I go from here cause'
Without you I'm not okay
And without you
I've lost my way
My heart's stuck in second place Without you
Well I never thought I'd be
Lying here without you by my side
It seems unreal to me
That the life you promised was a lie
You made it look so easy
Making love into memories
I guess you got what you wanted
But what about me."
-Dixie Chicks "Without You"
She walked in the door about a second ago and already I have managed to pick a fight. Only this one doesn't use words. No this time it's all looks. She walked in wearing one of her cute 'Hi I'm a cheerleader!' outfits. So of course I made a little grunting noise to express my state of NOT being shocked at seeing her and that is when she gave me that look. Oh I have seen her give that look to Kelso a thousand times only now that the focus was on me, I understand a little of why Kelso is so skittish. She walked over and sat on the couch between Eric and his cousin Ford.
"Hi," she says sweetly to Ford. "We were so not introduced properly yesterday. I'm Jackie." She puts out her tiny little hand and Ford smiles brightly as he takes it.
"I'm Ford. And don't worry about yesterday, already forgotten now that you're here." Oh my god! Did I mention how much I hate the dill hole? I mean come on he is so fake. Jackie would never buy that crap.
"Oh, you are so sweet!" Okay so I was wrong. Well before I get any sicker then I already am, I have to interfere.
"So Jackie," I say sweetly. She slowly turns her head to glare at me. "Where is that lovely boyfriend of yours whom we all love so very much and cherish?" Her eyes flame and I think I'll get a rise out of her. Instead Ford, the bastard, speaks before she can.
"Boyfriend? You have a- well of course you would I mean- look at you. So am I to presume that Michael Kelso is your boyfriend?" And that ass has the audacity to stare at me angrily as he says this. Jackie, distracted by Captain Smiles, puts on a smile of her own and turns back to Ford. This whole time Eric is sitting their grinning like a dumbass enjoying the show.
"Why Michael-well yes and no. I mean yes he is my boyfriend but we just got back together after HE cheated on me, and well we're not that serious, it is really just a trial period."
"Oh come now Jackie, don't downplay your relationship just to be modest. Ford, trust me when I say there are not two people in this world more suited to be together then Jackie and Kelso. They are very much in love. I am just counting the days till the wedding." Oh yeah, burn baby burn.
"Steven Hyde, you poor...orphan...guy." She stands up, her hands on her hips. I can see she is trying to control herself in front of Eric and Ford.
"Oh come now Jacks, that all you have." I stand up, and go to retrieve a pop from the freezer.
"I will not give you the sick satisfaction you get from baiting me Steven." At this Eric yelps.
"Oh come on Jackie, make him suffer. BURN him baby BURN him." Eric starts laughing and claps Ford on the shoulder. "Man you should see them when they really get going." Just then in walks Kelso himself. Well more like stumbles in actually.
"OH MY GOD! Fez and I were cruising for chicks and guess who I made out with?" And of course the big doof doesn't see Jackie behind Eric. Oh this out to be good. I watch Jackie carefully waiting to see her reaction. She looks up at me slowly and for an instant I can see actual hurt on her face. Her eyes connect with mine for an instant and I feel as my features soften. Her hands clench into tiny fists and she breaks my gaze. Slowly she turns around and gently pushes Eric out of the way. Ford actually has the audacity to stare at Jackie as if he understands what is going on.
"I give up Michael. Tell us who you made out with. We are dyeing to hear, aren't we Steven." And why she said my name I'll never know but at this point the look on Kelso's face was to good to miss.
"Oh shit, Jackie. Did I say 'who I made out with'? You see I meant to say who Fez made out with, cause I love you baby, and Fez, you know the ladies love him." Kelso's reaching now and Eric comes to stand by me and whispers in my ear.
"Oh this is good, you think maybe this time he and Jackie will break up for good and she'll stop hangin' around?" I look at him slowly.
"Shut up Eric." I don't really know why I said that, don't know why I didn't agree and laugh along with him, but I didn't have much of a chance to wonder cause Jackie spoke next.
"That's it Michael. Last time you ever hurt me. Do you hear me? We are OVER, Michael, OVER. I hate you, oh god I-" And the poor girl dissolves into tears. I feel my heart clench as she turns and runs in to my arms exactly as she did about a year ago. And again I have no idea why. Kelso takes a few steps towards her but is cut off by Ford.
"Listen man, maybe its best if you leave her alone right now and go." Shock crosses Kelso's face.
"Whoa new guy. You're kicking me out. I don't think so new guy." Jackie stirs in my arms-didn't realize I'd wrapped them around her- and looks at Kelso.
"Just leave." Kelso makes that weird "Ah' noise that he makes, turns and storms out of the basement. Jackie turns back around and looks at me with her tear-stained face. She is looking at me like I should be saying something, something to make her feel better, but I can't bring myself to move. I just stare back into her tear-filled eyes. As if she realizes I am not going to say a thing she sobs again and sits heavily on the couch looking more lost then I have ever seen her. Ford sits next to her and whispers what I am sure are comforting words in her ear. She leans on his shoulder and continues to cry.
"Hyde man, that was weird," Eric says. I had forgot he was in the room. I don't acknowledge him though; I can't take my eyes of her. Man I am really going to kick Ford's ass. I can't take it any more so I storm off into my room and stare at the ceiling while I try to block out her sobs, Ford's words, and the thoughts of why I cared at all that she was hurting.
Even after I heard them go upstairs I could still see her face and hear her voice. Goddamn it man, I was losing it. Its Jackie for crying out loud. Rich, snobby, stuck up Jackie. We were mortal enemies. Right? I couldn't possible be starting to care about her could I?
Just then a quiet knocking on my door interrupted my thoughts. "Eric what do you want?" I ask as I open the door. Only it isn't Eric. Jackie is standing there looking tinier then ever. Her eyes are red and her cheeks reveal her tears. Her hair is messy, but damn it if she doesn't look cute.
"Why does everyone hate me so much? Why do you hate me so much?" she asks. I freeze. I look down at her into her eyes I can feel my heart ache to pull her close and tell her its okay. It's then, when she has just been hurt, when she is at her lowest point, that I realize I do care, and it is killing me.
"I don't hate you Jackie," I say softly.
"Yes you do," she states and begins to cry softly.
"No, I don't." And then I pull her to me and close the door. I walk her to my bed and hold her as she cries. She cries for a long time and I just stroke her hair. She cries until there isn't anything left to do but sleep. And as she sleeps I just sit and hold her. Nothing else to do really. What must be days later and in reality was only an hour later, there is another knock on my door. "Come in," I say softly so as not to wake her.
Mrs. Foreman walks in quietly and looks saddly at Jackie. "Is she okay now dear?"
"She is sleeping." Mrs. Foreman smiles and walks forward. I move gently and place Jackie's head on the bed as I get up. Mrs. Foreman takes my place and gently strokes her hair.
"You go stay with Eric and I'll talk with her when she wakes up."
"Okay." That's all I can say and so I start to close the door when Mrs. Foreman says something else.
"You're a good kid Hyde, no matter how much you try to hide it." She didn't even look at me when she said that, she just smiled as she stared down at the slip of a girl in her lap. I can't really say anything to that, its been a weird enough night as it is. I walk on autopilot up the stairs, ignore Ford's questions about Jackie as I pass through the TV room, and I don't say a word to Foreman as I set up a makeshift bed on his floor. I think he kinda gets it and he doesn't say anything to me either.
So as I lay there on the floor in the dark of Eric's room I find myself again thinking of Jackie. God she really thought I hated her. I wonder what'll happen tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well what do ya'll think? I am okay with this chapter, it is kinda full of lots of heavy stuff though and I am not so sure I pulled it off okay, but still. Next part will out soon. A little confrontation with Ford may be in order for our dear Hyde! Love Ally (Hafthand@aol.com)
Author: Ally (Hafthand@aol.com)
Summary: See chapter 1
Disclaimer: Alas, they are not mine!
Thanx: For all of you who have reviewed thank you sooo much for the motivation!!!!
Comments: Okay chapter is a little heavy on the emotional stuff, and I tried to write it well so
please review and tell me what you think!!! Thanks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 3: No, I Don't
"I've sure enjoyed the rain,
But I'm looking forward to the sun.
You have to fell the pain
When you lose the love you gave someone
I thought by now the time
Would take away these lonely tears
I hope you're doing fine all alone.
But where do I go from here cause'
Without you I'm not okay
And without you
I've lost my way
My heart's stuck in second place Without you
Well I never thought I'd be
Lying here without you by my side
It seems unreal to me
That the life you promised was a lie
You made it look so easy
Making love into memories
I guess you got what you wanted
But what about me."
-Dixie Chicks "Without You"
She walked in the door about a second ago and already I have managed to pick a fight. Only this one doesn't use words. No this time it's all looks. She walked in wearing one of her cute 'Hi I'm a cheerleader!' outfits. So of course I made a little grunting noise to express my state of NOT being shocked at seeing her and that is when she gave me that look. Oh I have seen her give that look to Kelso a thousand times only now that the focus was on me, I understand a little of why Kelso is so skittish. She walked over and sat on the couch between Eric and his cousin Ford.
"Hi," she says sweetly to Ford. "We were so not introduced properly yesterday. I'm Jackie." She puts out her tiny little hand and Ford smiles brightly as he takes it.
"I'm Ford. And don't worry about yesterday, already forgotten now that you're here." Oh my god! Did I mention how much I hate the dill hole? I mean come on he is so fake. Jackie would never buy that crap.
"Oh, you are so sweet!" Okay so I was wrong. Well before I get any sicker then I already am, I have to interfere.
"So Jackie," I say sweetly. She slowly turns her head to glare at me. "Where is that lovely boyfriend of yours whom we all love so very much and cherish?" Her eyes flame and I think I'll get a rise out of her. Instead Ford, the bastard, speaks before she can.
"Boyfriend? You have a- well of course you would I mean- look at you. So am I to presume that Michael Kelso is your boyfriend?" And that ass has the audacity to stare at me angrily as he says this. Jackie, distracted by Captain Smiles, puts on a smile of her own and turns back to Ford. This whole time Eric is sitting their grinning like a dumbass enjoying the show.
"Why Michael-well yes and no. I mean yes he is my boyfriend but we just got back together after HE cheated on me, and well we're not that serious, it is really just a trial period."
"Oh come now Jackie, don't downplay your relationship just to be modest. Ford, trust me when I say there are not two people in this world more suited to be together then Jackie and Kelso. They are very much in love. I am just counting the days till the wedding." Oh yeah, burn baby burn.
"Steven Hyde, you poor...orphan...guy." She stands up, her hands on her hips. I can see she is trying to control herself in front of Eric and Ford.
"Oh come now Jacks, that all you have." I stand up, and go to retrieve a pop from the freezer.
"I will not give you the sick satisfaction you get from baiting me Steven." At this Eric yelps.
"Oh come on Jackie, make him suffer. BURN him baby BURN him." Eric starts laughing and claps Ford on the shoulder. "Man you should see them when they really get going." Just then in walks Kelso himself. Well more like stumbles in actually.
"OH MY GOD! Fez and I were cruising for chicks and guess who I made out with?" And of course the big doof doesn't see Jackie behind Eric. Oh this out to be good. I watch Jackie carefully waiting to see her reaction. She looks up at me slowly and for an instant I can see actual hurt on her face. Her eyes connect with mine for an instant and I feel as my features soften. Her hands clench into tiny fists and she breaks my gaze. Slowly she turns around and gently pushes Eric out of the way. Ford actually has the audacity to stare at Jackie as if he understands what is going on.
"I give up Michael. Tell us who you made out with. We are dyeing to hear, aren't we Steven." And why she said my name I'll never know but at this point the look on Kelso's face was to good to miss.
"Oh shit, Jackie. Did I say 'who I made out with'? You see I meant to say who Fez made out with, cause I love you baby, and Fez, you know the ladies love him." Kelso's reaching now and Eric comes to stand by me and whispers in my ear.
"Oh this is good, you think maybe this time he and Jackie will break up for good and she'll stop hangin' around?" I look at him slowly.
"Shut up Eric." I don't really know why I said that, don't know why I didn't agree and laugh along with him, but I didn't have much of a chance to wonder cause Jackie spoke next.
"That's it Michael. Last time you ever hurt me. Do you hear me? We are OVER, Michael, OVER. I hate you, oh god I-" And the poor girl dissolves into tears. I feel my heart clench as she turns and runs in to my arms exactly as she did about a year ago. And again I have no idea why. Kelso takes a few steps towards her but is cut off by Ford.
"Listen man, maybe its best if you leave her alone right now and go." Shock crosses Kelso's face.
"Whoa new guy. You're kicking me out. I don't think so new guy." Jackie stirs in my arms-didn't realize I'd wrapped them around her- and looks at Kelso.
"Just leave." Kelso makes that weird "Ah' noise that he makes, turns and storms out of the basement. Jackie turns back around and looks at me with her tear-stained face. She is looking at me like I should be saying something, something to make her feel better, but I can't bring myself to move. I just stare back into her tear-filled eyes. As if she realizes I am not going to say a thing she sobs again and sits heavily on the couch looking more lost then I have ever seen her. Ford sits next to her and whispers what I am sure are comforting words in her ear. She leans on his shoulder and continues to cry.
"Hyde man, that was weird," Eric says. I had forgot he was in the room. I don't acknowledge him though; I can't take my eyes of her. Man I am really going to kick Ford's ass. I can't take it any more so I storm off into my room and stare at the ceiling while I try to block out her sobs, Ford's words, and the thoughts of why I cared at all that she was hurting.
Even after I heard them go upstairs I could still see her face and hear her voice. Goddamn it man, I was losing it. Its Jackie for crying out loud. Rich, snobby, stuck up Jackie. We were mortal enemies. Right? I couldn't possible be starting to care about her could I?
Just then a quiet knocking on my door interrupted my thoughts. "Eric what do you want?" I ask as I open the door. Only it isn't Eric. Jackie is standing there looking tinier then ever. Her eyes are red and her cheeks reveal her tears. Her hair is messy, but damn it if she doesn't look cute.
"Why does everyone hate me so much? Why do you hate me so much?" she asks. I freeze. I look down at her into her eyes I can feel my heart ache to pull her close and tell her its okay. It's then, when she has just been hurt, when she is at her lowest point, that I realize I do care, and it is killing me.
"I don't hate you Jackie," I say softly.
"Yes you do," she states and begins to cry softly.
"No, I don't." And then I pull her to me and close the door. I walk her to my bed and hold her as she cries. She cries for a long time and I just stroke her hair. She cries until there isn't anything left to do but sleep. And as she sleeps I just sit and hold her. Nothing else to do really. What must be days later and in reality was only an hour later, there is another knock on my door. "Come in," I say softly so as not to wake her.
Mrs. Foreman walks in quietly and looks saddly at Jackie. "Is she okay now dear?"
"She is sleeping." Mrs. Foreman smiles and walks forward. I move gently and place Jackie's head on the bed as I get up. Mrs. Foreman takes my place and gently strokes her hair.
"You go stay with Eric and I'll talk with her when she wakes up."
"Okay." That's all I can say and so I start to close the door when Mrs. Foreman says something else.
"You're a good kid Hyde, no matter how much you try to hide it." She didn't even look at me when she said that, she just smiled as she stared down at the slip of a girl in her lap. I can't really say anything to that, its been a weird enough night as it is. I walk on autopilot up the stairs, ignore Ford's questions about Jackie as I pass through the TV room, and I don't say a word to Foreman as I set up a makeshift bed on his floor. I think he kinda gets it and he doesn't say anything to me either.
So as I lay there on the floor in the dark of Eric's room I find myself again thinking of Jackie. God she really thought I hated her. I wonder what'll happen tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well what do ya'll think? I am okay with this chapter, it is kinda full of lots of heavy stuff though and I am not so sure I pulled it off okay, but still. Next part will out soon. A little confrontation with Ford may be in order for our dear Hyde! Love Ally (Hafthand@aol.com)