Regrets
Author: Ally (Hafthand@aol.com)
Rating: R
Summary: See chapter 1
Comments: Hmm, finally finished though not quite happy with all of it. Hyde's part is the best the rest is okay. Please review. Hopefully part five will come to me quicker then four did.
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Chapter 4: So Hard To Swallow
"Tell your friends not to think aloud
Until they swallow
Whisper things into my brain
Your voice sounds so hollow
I am not a leader of men
Since I prefer to follow
Do you think I could have a drink
Since it's so hard to swallow
So hard to swallow
So turn the television off
and I will sing a song
And if you suddenly have the urge
You can sing along
I touch your hand, I touch your face
I think the fruit is rotten
Give me lessons on how to breathe
Cause I think I've forgotten
I think I've forgotten
One day, up to a cliff
That overlooked the water
I jumped in to save a girl
It was somebody's daughter
And now the ring is on my hand
It was given to me by her
To this day we all sit around
And dream of ways to get higher
To get much higher"
-Nickleback, Leader of Men
Woke up an hour ago and have just lain here watching the ceiling and listening to Foreman snore. It's still dark out and my body is restless. I need to get up or I am going to scream. I may as well get ready for school since I'm up. I slip out of Foreman's room and down the stairs. I grab a muffin in the kitchen on my way to the basement. It's eerily dark and I can here rain pounding outside. Great, a storm.
I walk into my room and stop dead. Apparently Jackie has developed a fondness for my bed because there she is sleeping in it. I swallow hard and loud. Great, Mrs. Foreman must have let her spend the night. Thanks for telling a guy. Her hair is messy and scattered among my pillows. She has managed to twist herself up in my blankets but one of her legs is sticking out. She looks so peaceful I don't dare wake her. Well, it's pretty dark and if she'd sleeping through the pounding rain she won't hear me.
I start towards my dresser, I guess you could call it that, and look for a change of clothes. "Hyde?" Her quiet voice freezes me. I turn and in the faint light cast by lightning, I see she has awoken and is staring sleepily at me. "That you?"
"Yeah doll, it's me. Go back to sleep." Hoping she is tired enough to do as I say, I turn back to the dresser. Okay its really just a box full of clothes but I have to make it feel like home!! Anyway, I hear her moving around trying to settle herself back in bed. A little moan escapes her lips and I try to fight turning to watch her.
Her head is turned to the wall away from me and I can see her chest rise and fall as she breathes. Just then the lightning flashes again, illuminating the whole room and at that instant she turns to look at me again. For a moment that seemed to last a really, really long time I could not tear my eyes away from hers and found myself not wanting to.
As the light fades and the thunder begins to roll I break the gaze gather my clothes and walk over to the side of the bed. I lean in over her and her eyes widen a little and her breath catches. I place a light kiss on her forehead and I can hear her release that breath she was holding. "Go back to sleep, you got an hour before Mrs. Foreman will wake you up for school."
"Okay," she replies simply looking at me all doe-eyed. God when did she get so beautiful.
"Don't mind the thunder. You're in a good house," I say and she smiles a little at that. She rolls back over to face the wall and I stay till I hear her breath even out and lengthen in the tell-tale sign of sleep.
As I head back up to shower I wonder when I became such a damn softie. It must be the early hour and the storm. Ah well, she probably won't even remember it. As I reach the kitchen, I hear movement and realize Mrs. Foreman must be up and about. Sure enough when I walk in she is already preparing waffles. I go over and give her a kiss on the cheek since I'm feeling so extra emotional these days. I startle her.
"Oh, Steven. God you scared me. Hee hee. Well aren't you up early. Storm get you up." I nod. "Oh well, me too. Did you just come from downstairs?"
"Yeah, found a present in my bed. You really shouldn't have Mrs. Foreman. What will Red say?" I tease her with my patent smirk on my face. She laughs her laugh and pats me on the head.
"Oh Steven. You are so darn cute. But seriously she was just a wreck last night, and then the storm started, and her parents are away this week, so I just couldn't let her leave by herself. I really didn't think you'd mind." She says all this while still efficiently beating the batter.
"No it's cool, she did seem a bit upset. Oh well, I'm gonna go shower. See you in a few." I start to head out the kitchen, effectively avoiding any uncomfortable talk about the girl asleep in my bed downstairs. But I am stopped by her voice.
"Okay dear, wake up Eric after you shower, and Ford to please. I told him I would take him out shopping early." I leave the kitchen and suddenly realize I had forgotten about that grinning idiot Ford. Oh Well, I didn't see a chick in his bed! Ha.
_________________________________________________________
First thing I hear is the rain outside, the next thing is Mrs. Foreman's voice calling me to breakfast. It takes me a moment but last night comes flooding back to me. Michael, Steven, Eric's mom, the tears. All of it. I roll out of bed and place my feet on the cold floor. I sit a minute and gather myself. I don't really know why I was so upset. I mean it's not like Michael never cheated on me before, but still. I thought this time... Who am I kidding? Myself maybe.
I get up and stretch and head up to breakfast, my head still a little foggy. I walk into the kitchen and realize I am the last to get up. Mrs. Foreman is moving around in the kitchen and smiles as she sees me. "Well hello there sleepy head. You rest okay?"
I can't help but smile back as her warmness envelops me. "Yes Mrs. Foreman, and thank you for letting me crash here."
"Oh dear, any time. Its just good to have a girl in the house again." She goes back to her cooking and I walk towards the table where Red, Eric, Ford, and Steven are waiting for their food.
"Oh god, Dad quick, get the bug spray, someone let a roach out of the basement." I would have normally bitched at Eric for that statement but the smile he attached to it and the fact that he pulled out my seat for me, took the sting right out of the insult. He was just trying to make me smile, in a weird Eric sort of way.
"Shut up dumbass," Red said, his attention never wavering from his paper.
I take my seat in between Steven and Eric, across from Ford. Ford gives me a warm smile and says, "Well good morning there sunshine. Just as beautiful in the morning as the rest of the day." I blush a little and look at my plate. I hear Red grunt in annoyance, Eric gag on his juice, and from the corner of my eye I see Steven's body tense up.
I look up at him and say "Morning."
He doesn't even look back at me as he says "Mornin'" I look back at my plate and remember earlier this morning in his room. No wonder he is a little weirded out. How could I not have remembered that. Suddenly I was very awake and very aware of Steven's presence. My body just as tense as his. I don't understand why he had been so gentle with me. I mean it was a surprise or anything. Anytime I really ever needed anybody, he always seemed to be the one to turn to, but things were getting weird.
I had been fighting with him for so long, I didn't know how to be civil towards him, and my guess is that neither does he. I couldn't take it any more so I stand up to go take a shower. Just as I stand up however, so does Steven. We look at each other and then away. "Uh I need to shower before school. I'll eat when I come back down," I say hastily.
"I'm done eating," he says. Eric is looking weirdly at us and Ford just keeps smiling at me.
"Oh Eric, before you go to school drop Ford and I off at Mrs. Pullman's place. I promised she could come shopping with us. Jackie dear, you go take a shower and Steven will drive you to school when you're ready, that way we won't keep Mrs. Pullman waiting." I glance quickly at Hyde and he simply nods his acceptance. He leaves and heads downstairs.
"I'll be downstairs when you're ready Jacks." I smile at the use of my nickname.
"I'm going to shower now. Eric, can I borrow that red sweater of yours? Its all rainy and cold out and I only have this T-shirt."
"Well, I dunno, it may cost you." Red puts the paper down and glares at him. "On second thought, I am feeling rather generous today so yeah, why not." He glances nervously at Red and continues eating.
I start to head out of the kitchen when Ford asks "Will you be here again tonight?"
"Oh yes dear, you really should. The storm is supposed to get worse and I can't bear the thought of you alone in your house. Please? I am sure Steven won't mind letting you use his room. Or maybe you can have Laurie's old room and Ford can sleep in with Eric. What do you say?"
I smile. "Thank you Mrs. Foreman, I would really like that." I head up to the shower and bask in the warmness as I review the last few days in my head. It's going to be a long week.
_____
Back downstairs the boys have gone to get their coats and Red finally comes out from behind his paper and addresses Kitty.
"You really think its safe having Jackie here?"
Kitty turns and looks at him strangely. "Safe? What do you mean by safe?"
"Come on Kitty, you're not blind. Ford never takes his eyes off her, Steven can't look at her, Eric would just rather not see her and I think two out of the three dumbasses are falling for her." Kitty comes over and sits next to Red.
"Oh dear you really do pay attention to what goes on in this house."
"Oh Kitty come off it. I just don't want any blood on my floors when Hyde finally confronts Ford. He may think he can hide behind his attitude, but I see what's going on, and it won't be pretty. I'm just warning you."
"Oh Red, you're just being silly."
"Yeah maybe, but I'd put my money on Steven. Ford may be bigger but Steven's in love with her. That'll make the difference." Kitty just sat next to her husband thinking about all this kids in the house. They were all god kids and she knew Red was just trying to rile her up with the fight talk, but he did have a point. She knew Hyde had been acting differently towards Jackie, and Ford did seem to be quite taken with her. She wasn't sure if Hyde loved her, but she knew he was close. As for Jackie, she really didn't know where she stood, and besides she had just broken up with Kelso, she was hurting.
But pushing that aside, Kitty was just happy that there was a girl in the house whom she could pamper in a way Laurie would never let her. She finally had a daughter in the house, even if only for a little while. Boys be damned she was gonna make sure Jackie felt comfortable here.
----------------
Downstairs Hyde sat on the couch waiting for Jackie. He wasn't really thinking of anything, just listening to the rain and trying to get all thought Jackie out of his head. But try as he might he couldn't. If she was going to stay here for a few days, he might just see if Fez has some space. Putting up with Ford was going to be bad enough without having to sort out his feeling for Jackie while she was sleeping in the same house.
He wanted things back the way they had been. Simple no complications. But deep down he knew that it wouldn't be the same.
Please just let me survive today cause all this stuff is getting pretty hard to swallow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay so part four is finally finished. I am happy with Hyde's part, but the rest kind of just fills space. Hopefully part five will redeem the story!!! Ciao for now!
Love, Ally
Author: Ally (Hafthand@aol.com)
Rating: R
Summary: See chapter 1
Comments: Hmm, finally finished though not quite happy with all of it. Hyde's part is the best the rest is okay. Please review. Hopefully part five will come to me quicker then four did.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 4: So Hard To Swallow
"Tell your friends not to think aloud
Until they swallow
Whisper things into my brain
Your voice sounds so hollow
I am not a leader of men
Since I prefer to follow
Do you think I could have a drink
Since it's so hard to swallow
So hard to swallow
So turn the television off
and I will sing a song
And if you suddenly have the urge
You can sing along
I touch your hand, I touch your face
I think the fruit is rotten
Give me lessons on how to breathe
Cause I think I've forgotten
I think I've forgotten
One day, up to a cliff
That overlooked the water
I jumped in to save a girl
It was somebody's daughter
And now the ring is on my hand
It was given to me by her
To this day we all sit around
And dream of ways to get higher
To get much higher"
-Nickleback, Leader of Men
Woke up an hour ago and have just lain here watching the ceiling and listening to Foreman snore. It's still dark out and my body is restless. I need to get up or I am going to scream. I may as well get ready for school since I'm up. I slip out of Foreman's room and down the stairs. I grab a muffin in the kitchen on my way to the basement. It's eerily dark and I can here rain pounding outside. Great, a storm.
I walk into my room and stop dead. Apparently Jackie has developed a fondness for my bed because there she is sleeping in it. I swallow hard and loud. Great, Mrs. Foreman must have let her spend the night. Thanks for telling a guy. Her hair is messy and scattered among my pillows. She has managed to twist herself up in my blankets but one of her legs is sticking out. She looks so peaceful I don't dare wake her. Well, it's pretty dark and if she'd sleeping through the pounding rain she won't hear me.
I start towards my dresser, I guess you could call it that, and look for a change of clothes. "Hyde?" Her quiet voice freezes me. I turn and in the faint light cast by lightning, I see she has awoken and is staring sleepily at me. "That you?"
"Yeah doll, it's me. Go back to sleep." Hoping she is tired enough to do as I say, I turn back to the dresser. Okay its really just a box full of clothes but I have to make it feel like home!! Anyway, I hear her moving around trying to settle herself back in bed. A little moan escapes her lips and I try to fight turning to watch her.
Her head is turned to the wall away from me and I can see her chest rise and fall as she breathes. Just then the lightning flashes again, illuminating the whole room and at that instant she turns to look at me again. For a moment that seemed to last a really, really long time I could not tear my eyes away from hers and found myself not wanting to.
As the light fades and the thunder begins to roll I break the gaze gather my clothes and walk over to the side of the bed. I lean in over her and her eyes widen a little and her breath catches. I place a light kiss on her forehead and I can hear her release that breath she was holding. "Go back to sleep, you got an hour before Mrs. Foreman will wake you up for school."
"Okay," she replies simply looking at me all doe-eyed. God when did she get so beautiful.
"Don't mind the thunder. You're in a good house," I say and she smiles a little at that. She rolls back over to face the wall and I stay till I hear her breath even out and lengthen in the tell-tale sign of sleep.
As I head back up to shower I wonder when I became such a damn softie. It must be the early hour and the storm. Ah well, she probably won't even remember it. As I reach the kitchen, I hear movement and realize Mrs. Foreman must be up and about. Sure enough when I walk in she is already preparing waffles. I go over and give her a kiss on the cheek since I'm feeling so extra emotional these days. I startle her.
"Oh, Steven. God you scared me. Hee hee. Well aren't you up early. Storm get you up." I nod. "Oh well, me too. Did you just come from downstairs?"
"Yeah, found a present in my bed. You really shouldn't have Mrs. Foreman. What will Red say?" I tease her with my patent smirk on my face. She laughs her laugh and pats me on the head.
"Oh Steven. You are so darn cute. But seriously she was just a wreck last night, and then the storm started, and her parents are away this week, so I just couldn't let her leave by herself. I really didn't think you'd mind." She says all this while still efficiently beating the batter.
"No it's cool, she did seem a bit upset. Oh well, I'm gonna go shower. See you in a few." I start to head out the kitchen, effectively avoiding any uncomfortable talk about the girl asleep in my bed downstairs. But I am stopped by her voice.
"Okay dear, wake up Eric after you shower, and Ford to please. I told him I would take him out shopping early." I leave the kitchen and suddenly realize I had forgotten about that grinning idiot Ford. Oh Well, I didn't see a chick in his bed! Ha.
_________________________________________________________
First thing I hear is the rain outside, the next thing is Mrs. Foreman's voice calling me to breakfast. It takes me a moment but last night comes flooding back to me. Michael, Steven, Eric's mom, the tears. All of it. I roll out of bed and place my feet on the cold floor. I sit a minute and gather myself. I don't really know why I was so upset. I mean it's not like Michael never cheated on me before, but still. I thought this time... Who am I kidding? Myself maybe.
I get up and stretch and head up to breakfast, my head still a little foggy. I walk into the kitchen and realize I am the last to get up. Mrs. Foreman is moving around in the kitchen and smiles as she sees me. "Well hello there sleepy head. You rest okay?"
I can't help but smile back as her warmness envelops me. "Yes Mrs. Foreman, and thank you for letting me crash here."
"Oh dear, any time. Its just good to have a girl in the house again." She goes back to her cooking and I walk towards the table where Red, Eric, Ford, and Steven are waiting for their food.
"Oh god, Dad quick, get the bug spray, someone let a roach out of the basement." I would have normally bitched at Eric for that statement but the smile he attached to it and the fact that he pulled out my seat for me, took the sting right out of the insult. He was just trying to make me smile, in a weird Eric sort of way.
"Shut up dumbass," Red said, his attention never wavering from his paper.
I take my seat in between Steven and Eric, across from Ford. Ford gives me a warm smile and says, "Well good morning there sunshine. Just as beautiful in the morning as the rest of the day." I blush a little and look at my plate. I hear Red grunt in annoyance, Eric gag on his juice, and from the corner of my eye I see Steven's body tense up.
I look up at him and say "Morning."
He doesn't even look back at me as he says "Mornin'" I look back at my plate and remember earlier this morning in his room. No wonder he is a little weirded out. How could I not have remembered that. Suddenly I was very awake and very aware of Steven's presence. My body just as tense as his. I don't understand why he had been so gentle with me. I mean it was a surprise or anything. Anytime I really ever needed anybody, he always seemed to be the one to turn to, but things were getting weird.
I had been fighting with him for so long, I didn't know how to be civil towards him, and my guess is that neither does he. I couldn't take it any more so I stand up to go take a shower. Just as I stand up however, so does Steven. We look at each other and then away. "Uh I need to shower before school. I'll eat when I come back down," I say hastily.
"I'm done eating," he says. Eric is looking weirdly at us and Ford just keeps smiling at me.
"Oh Eric, before you go to school drop Ford and I off at Mrs. Pullman's place. I promised she could come shopping with us. Jackie dear, you go take a shower and Steven will drive you to school when you're ready, that way we won't keep Mrs. Pullman waiting." I glance quickly at Hyde and he simply nods his acceptance. He leaves and heads downstairs.
"I'll be downstairs when you're ready Jacks." I smile at the use of my nickname.
"I'm going to shower now. Eric, can I borrow that red sweater of yours? Its all rainy and cold out and I only have this T-shirt."
"Well, I dunno, it may cost you." Red puts the paper down and glares at him. "On second thought, I am feeling rather generous today so yeah, why not." He glances nervously at Red and continues eating.
I start to head out of the kitchen when Ford asks "Will you be here again tonight?"
"Oh yes dear, you really should. The storm is supposed to get worse and I can't bear the thought of you alone in your house. Please? I am sure Steven won't mind letting you use his room. Or maybe you can have Laurie's old room and Ford can sleep in with Eric. What do you say?"
I smile. "Thank you Mrs. Foreman, I would really like that." I head up to the shower and bask in the warmness as I review the last few days in my head. It's going to be a long week.
_____
Back downstairs the boys have gone to get their coats and Red finally comes out from behind his paper and addresses Kitty.
"You really think its safe having Jackie here?"
Kitty turns and looks at him strangely. "Safe? What do you mean by safe?"
"Come on Kitty, you're not blind. Ford never takes his eyes off her, Steven can't look at her, Eric would just rather not see her and I think two out of the three dumbasses are falling for her." Kitty comes over and sits next to Red.
"Oh dear you really do pay attention to what goes on in this house."
"Oh Kitty come off it. I just don't want any blood on my floors when Hyde finally confronts Ford. He may think he can hide behind his attitude, but I see what's going on, and it won't be pretty. I'm just warning you."
"Oh Red, you're just being silly."
"Yeah maybe, but I'd put my money on Steven. Ford may be bigger but Steven's in love with her. That'll make the difference." Kitty just sat next to her husband thinking about all this kids in the house. They were all god kids and she knew Red was just trying to rile her up with the fight talk, but he did have a point. She knew Hyde had been acting differently towards Jackie, and Ford did seem to be quite taken with her. She wasn't sure if Hyde loved her, but she knew he was close. As for Jackie, she really didn't know where she stood, and besides she had just broken up with Kelso, she was hurting.
But pushing that aside, Kitty was just happy that there was a girl in the house whom she could pamper in a way Laurie would never let her. She finally had a daughter in the house, even if only for a little while. Boys be damned she was gonna make sure Jackie felt comfortable here.
----------------
Downstairs Hyde sat on the couch waiting for Jackie. He wasn't really thinking of anything, just listening to the rain and trying to get all thought Jackie out of his head. But try as he might he couldn't. If she was going to stay here for a few days, he might just see if Fez has some space. Putting up with Ford was going to be bad enough without having to sort out his feeling for Jackie while she was sleeping in the same house.
He wanted things back the way they had been. Simple no complications. But deep down he knew that it wouldn't be the same.
Please just let me survive today cause all this stuff is getting pretty hard to swallow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Okay so part four is finally finished. I am happy with Hyde's part, but the rest kind of just fills space. Hopefully part five will redeem the story!!! Ciao for now!
Love, Ally