Reminder: Your Country needs you to read and review!!
See Chapter 1 for disclaimer and thanks!
The next morning
I woke up the next morning with a banging headache and concluded that it was probably better if I skipped the early morning danger room session. I went to the toilet and tied up my hair loosely before proceeding down the stairs wearing my nightshirt and dressing gown.
I walked into the kitchen to survey the typical scene on a typical morning with Retribution X, everyone eating their breakfast sullenly with Kat sat in the sink. Okay maybe it wasn't as normal as I first thought Kat in the sink okay that was new but not unduly worrying however there was something about the situation that terrified me…Wolverine in a Bermuda shirt and shorts!!
"Ummm…this maybe a silly question but what the hell is going on?" I asked eyeing everyone suspiciously, maybe I had forgotten something….APRIL FOOLS DAY!!! Oh wait that was month's ago.
"I'm going away to a yoga resort in Hawaii to embrace my feminine side" Came Wolverines reply strangely without his trademark glower when he said something we weren't meant to laugh at. So I did just that…laughed…laughed…laughed some more and then pointed and laughed. I looked around the room mystified as to why no one else shared my mirth at the situation.
"Okay is he serious?" I asked Evelyn who was slightly chirpier then the rest of us in the morning
Evelyn nodded yes before scowling over at Jubilee, okay what was with them two they had become really tight while I had been away in fact it was almost as if they had become joined at the hip.
"So that means we ain't got Danger room session today right?" I asked
"No you've got one with Scott while I'm away" Wolverine said without a sneer in his voice which was well…unusual to say the least while on the subject of Scott.
"Hey I was the one who hit my head not you!!" I tried joking everyone looked at me disdainfully.
At that moment the phone rang
"Hello"
"Hey can I speak to Melody please?"
"Can I ask who is calling please?"
"It's John"
"John as in Pyro?"
"Yep"
"Ummm…Mel Pyro's on the phone!" I said holding the phone out to her bracing myself for Kat to come hurtling at the phone at the mention of Pyro's name however she remained slumped in the sink.
I decided that today may be interesting and decided to go to the danger room.
"Sure I'd love to go out on a date with you John!" Came Mel's sing song voice. At last she was over Kurt.
"Guy's I'm going to skip today's danger room session and go do something independently" Jubes said standing up glaring at Ev.
Mmmm…this was going to be an interesting day!!
Outside the Danger room
I couldn't remember getting changed or walking to the danger room but seeing as I was there I assumed I had done it….this bloody head injury was becoming more serious than I thought, oh well ignore it and it will go away.
We waited outside the door for Scott to arrive, and for once we were early.
"Um gals are my eyes deceiving me or is Scott really wearing pink?" I asked rubbing my sore confused head.
Everyone looked at him
"Okay then guy's are you ready to like rock n roll?" Scott asked in a very camp way.
We looked shiftily at one another, I suddenly realised that Kat (as well as Jubes) was missing.
"Where's Kat?" I asked
"Still in the sink!" came Evelyn's reply
"Oh okay!" at least someone around here was acting normal I nudged Mel as Scott minced past us "Anyone would think he's turned gay!"
The X-men side of the Mansion
I walked down the hallways of the X-men's quarters, I couldn't remember how or even why I was there but I was sure if I wandered around for long enough I would remember. I walked past Professor X's study and heard hushed voices; I peered through the door which was slightly ajar.
"Gross! Gross! Gross! Gross!" Was the only thing I said as I ran back to safety
Retribution X's wing
"…and they were snogging in his study?!" Jubes asked incredulously
"Yes! I tell you I think I'm going to have to bleach my eyes to get rid of the image!!" I replied trying to keep my biscuit down
"Who would have thought that of Scott? I always thought he was happily married to Jean" Jubes said with a smile
"Remember you didn't see him in the danger room today!!" Mel pointed out
At that point the phone rang
"I'll get it!" Mel said snatching the phone off of its cradle
"And Professor X he's a bit of a dark horse himself!" Jubes said full of admiration of the pair ease with their sexuality "I think that's why he always helps out Magneto maybe he was a past lover too!"
I looked around for Wolverine's support in the whole gross out aspect of seeing Professor X and Scott snogging (with tongues!) before remembering he'd gone on holiday.
"Yeah sure Pietro I'll go on a date with you!" I heard Mel say in the background; well it was nice to know the gal was keeping her options open.
"Two dates is that now Mel?" I asked with a smirk
"No four actually!" Okay now I was worried, but maybe I'd heard wrong it was definitely time to visit Hank.
In the Med Lab
"Where's Hank?" I asked Jean who was stuffing as many of Hank's secret (Well if you call secret everybody knowing where they were hidden) stash of Twinkies
"In the navy!" She said before stuffing more down her throat.
"Jean I really ain't in the mood for your dumb red-head jokes, speak to Kat who as a fellow ginge may find it amusing!" I said irritated
"I'm not joking!" oh yeah I forgot she didn't have a sense of humour…or a personality for that matter.
"Is he undercover or something!" I asked, okay so Hank wasn't the obvious choice for an undercover mission but hey I wouldn't be surprised by anything the way today was going
"No him and Kurt joined as a way to meet women" Okay I stand corrected.
Today was turning into a sick twisted dream. I stopped and stared at Jean as she shoved more food down her throat and realised that this was Jean Grey-Summers…eating…A LOT. Hmmm…suspicious.
"So you know about Scott then!" I asked
"No what about Scott…that he doesn't find me attractive anymore."
Okay it was time for me to leave before I put my foot in it.
In Remy's Classroom
Okay so I had no idea how I had got there or even why I was there but I sat behind the desk waiting Remy to come and conduct his class. However Remy or the real Remy (our day glow alcohol loving friend) didn't arrive in his place however was an alcohol bashing, lecture giving self declared celibate…even more worrying he no longer referred to himself in the 3rd person. Mmmnnn…today was just getting stranger and stranger.
In the Retribution X mobile (okay okay my heap of a car!)
"Okay gals we ain't got no one to back us up today, Wolvies plane will be leaving in a few hours and Scott's in such a good mood that he wanted to spend time with the Prof that he couldn't be bothered to assemble the X men!" I briefed them as I drove at as high speed as I could "Remember Magneto and his goon's will be a teensy bit harder to beat than ol' Scuzzlebutt and Juggernaut yesterday!" I looked at them through the mirror and sighed "Kat could you duck again?!"
Kat obliged ducking deeper into her sink (she had insisted she wouldn't come out!).
"Ummm….Ash it looks like he's having a party" Jubes observed pointing to where Magneto stood flanked by the Incredible Bulk (sorry Blob), Quicksilver and Toad.
I got out of the car and turned round to give my team last words of encouragement as they dragged Kat's sink out of the boot. But Mel was no where to be seen. Strange they couldn't have gotten her already…could they. I turned around with a sigh, okay it looked like she had got them already. Mel was draped across Magneto's arm as she whispered lovingly into Toads ear. I shook my head in disgust, jeez she was worse then a porn starved Wolverine.
"Okay I'll take Bucket head, Mel your on Blob, Jube's and Ev take Toad down and Kat you get Quicksilver!" I said charging myself up with a ZZzzzz
I began advancing towards Magneto in my best fighting stance "You and me buddy!" I said trying my best to growl a la Wolverine.
Meanwhile…..
Mel leant provocatively towards Blob "How about you and me hit the movies big boy? I like a man with something to hold onto!"
Kat sat quivering in her sink as Quicksilver sidled up to Mel as well slipping her a piece of paper "Oh naughty, naughty!" She cooed
"Why the hell should I?" Jubes screamed at Ev
"Because I am an individual in my own right I am not you!" Ev screamed back at her
"You sayin' I'm not?" Jubes cried indignant
"Well if the tacky yellow Mac fits!"
"I have half a mind to slap you!"
"You have half a mind full stop!"
"Why you little…" Jubes growled as she lunged at Ev whacking her upside her head.
I was finding this display by my well oiled team slightly disturbing to say the least I looked at Magneto, who had just magnetically dropped my car from a great height.
"You'll pay for that!" I warned only slightly distracted by my team.
"I seriously doubt it!" Damn this guy was so full of it (even more so than Scott).
I glanced at Ev and Jubes who were pulling each others hair.
"Hey look Buddy d'ya mind if we finish this another time?" I asked Magneto who just smirked.
I stalked over to Jubes and Ev zapping them with a low voltage charge "Okay break it up!" I said indicating for them to follow before grabbing Mel's arm and dragging her after me
"Call me!" Mel yelled at the top of her lungs at Magneto and his cronies.
I frog marched her towards the academy "I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life" I muttered
I waited so Kat could scuttle up to join us in her sink in a crab like manner.
God and they hadn't even been drinking I thought with a sigh.