"Orange Throwing Monkeys"
A confusing fanfic written by the mistress of misunderstanding, Lady Omae O
Korosu (Yes, Heero's famous line), but you can call me Korosu...lol. Oh
yeah...and my assistant Kuramitsa.
WARNING: This is a REALLY STUPID fic that will make you stupider than stupid. So there...STUPID! You may also notice a lot of *special author's permit to twist the truth* in this fic (hint hint *Heero*) so if you can't deal with it then FUCK OFF. I believe it's title describes it very well, because after reading it you will really think, "This was pure Gundam Nonsense" or maybe even "!?!?!?!?" but either way it's all in good nature.
...not.
CHARACHTERS:
Heero Wufei Quatre ((honestly, who else would it be? Its a freaking Q!!!)) Trowa Duo K=Kuramitsa LOOK=Lady Omae O Korosu ((ME!!! Isn't it funny that my abbreviation spells "look"? heh..eh...oh whatever.))
Oh, and double brackets indicate OOC. example: ((HI I am out of charachter bla bla bla))
But, on with the story! /center
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* PART 1: EVIL NICKERS OF DOOM/b
Setting: The boredom happy house of terror...don't ask.
Q: "MY NICKERS ARE MISSING! MY NICKERS ARE MISSING!!!!!!"
T: "You don't wear nickers."
Q:"They are my evil nickers of doom that nobody knows about but me. No one will ever know they exist, not even you. I hide them in a special place that no one knows about, inside a hidden cabinet behind the dresser. But no one will ever find it."
H: ::Gives the trademark 'Imbeciles.' Heero look::
Q: "WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT, PRETTY BOY!?" *sniff* "I'VE LOST MY PRECIOUS NICKERS!" ::begins bawling::
K: "Okay Korosu, this is getting boring. Time for me to spice things up." ::pushes Korosu aside::
LOOK: "What the--" ::is shoved out of the computer chair::
K: "Lets see...Wufei hasn't talked yet. Watch this."
W: ::Looks at Quatre:: "Hey you sexy demon!...WHAT THE!? Did I just say that!? Who is RESPONSIBLE for such INJUSTICE!?!?!?"
K: "ME!"
LOOK: ::Hops into the fanfic:: "Now whats this--" ::short attention span kicks in:: *GASP* "HEERO MY TEDDY!" ::glomp::
All Gundam Boys except Heero: Is that even possible...?
H: 0.o hi...
Q: ::throws oranges at Wufei, then bursts out laughing::
T: ::Masturbates quietly in a corner:: "..."
W: "Okay can someone please explain to me WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?"
LOOK: "Nope! No one can because WE don't even know what's going on!"
H: "Oook....Hey Korosu, wanna get some sugar?"
LOOK: "Hell yea!" ::runs into kitchen with Heero in tow, shutting the door tightly::
All but Heero and Korosu: ::watches Trowa::
T: ::Moans and cums all over the walls he's facing, then shivers and sits for a second, then turns around:: "...What?"
Q: ::Stares at his big willy sticking out of his pants::
T: ::Puts his pole back in as he follows the others, dragging Quatre who seems to be frozen staring at the same spot of air where Trowa's tallywhacker was once visible::
All: ::Walk toward the kitchen from which there can be heard suspicious and strange giggling::
W: ::Opens the door, a waterfall of candy pouring out onto him and suffocating him::
D: "Oh my god! They killed Wufei!"
T: "YOU BASTARDS!" ::Tears well up in his eyes as he drags Wufei's corpse to the bedroom to rape him like the necrophiliac he is:: ::A bolt of lightning comes down through teh roof and kills Trowa as he drags the body::
D and Q: 0.o ::look inside the kitchen, revealing a very hyper Heero fucking a very hyper Korosu::
D: O_O ::gets a big boner:: "S'cuse me." ::runs off to the bathroom to jerk off::
Q: 0.o ::faints::
T: "Whoever wrote this is messed up."
Q: "HEY! I thought you guys were dead!!!"
W: ::Borrows the 'Heero Death Glare':: "I thought you were FAINTED!"
Q: ::cowers:: "I see your point." ::re-faints::
H: "Do you guys mind!? I'm not quite through here!" ::pumps in and out of her faster and harder::
T: "But--"
LOOK: "Listen, we're almost done, just wait a little bit and we'll be done soon."
T: "Ugh. Fine." ::Turns around to see Duo come out of the bathroom with newly-washed hands, a fading but still obvious boner, and a pale, sheepish look:: "...hi guys."
W: ::rolls eyes::
Random Monkey: ::throws oranges at Wufei::
W: "JESUS! WHAT'S WITH THE ORANGES!?"
K: "That would be MY doing."
T: "I nearly forgot about you, Kuramitsa."
W: "I wish I could've." ::flips the bird to Kuramitsa, two more oranges hit him, this time hitting his shiny black hair:: "WHAT!? NO! I JUST WAXED IT THIS MORNING!" ::runs into the bathroom to fix it but slips on Duo's semen, which coats all of the bathroom surfaces about an inch thick::
All: ::hear a thud, Duo snickers::
D: "That would be MY doing."
The house shakes as loud moans can be heard from inside of the kitchen, then Heero screams Korosu's name and the shaking stops.((It's my fic, I'll do what I want!))
All: ::look inside of kitchen to see two smug anime charachters, namely Heero and Korosu, smoking cigarettes with bags under their eyes and sweat beads on their faces. They have the uncontrollable giggles.::
LOOK: "Heh. Heheh. It's so much more fun to have sex on a mountain of candy than anywhere else."
H: "Heh. Yeah. Heheh."
H and LOOK: ::look at each other and burst out laughing for no apparent reason::
LOOK: ::eyes widen as she suddenly sits up:: "I NEED MORE SUGAR!" ::gobbles candy as Heero joins her::
H: "Oh! I have an idea!"
LOOK: "Wow, really?" ::writes it down:: 'Today, my teddy had an idea.'
H: "Yeah, let's turn into cheesy anime styles!"
LOOK: "OKAY!" ::turns into chibi mode, with her purple-black striped hair pinned up in a bun:: ::Looks at Heero's chibi mode:: "HEERO MY TEDDY, SO SHUPA CUTE!!!!!!" ((Shupa, sometimes spelled shuppa, is my word for super. TO USE IT AT ALL YOU NEED TO ASK ME!!!! Bakas... :[ ))
D: 0.o "The law of cheese states that you aren't allowed to toss midgets during mid-summer."
CHIBI H: O_o
CHIBI LOOK: O_o
D: "What!?!?"
CHIBI H: "Nuthin." ::kisses Chibi Korosu's forehead and grabs her around the waist as he blasts off into the air::
Q, D, and T: "...What just happened?"
W: ::comes out of the bathroom with his hair freshly washed and thoroughly waxed::
Q: *GASP* "SHINY!!!!!!" ::runs up to Wufei and pokes his shiny head:: ::gets pelted by 15 oranges being shot at the speed of light and dies::
RANDOM NARRARATOR: ::pops into the scene:: "K.O.!!!!" ::pops back out of the scene:: ((Thanks to the tenchi nonsense fic "Bathroom Break" for the K.O. idea(see? i give credit where it's due)))
W: "Well...that was interesting."
T: "MY GAY LOVER! NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" ::drags Quatre's body upstairs to try and do what he almost did to Wufei::
K: "What...????? I didn't write all that! Korosu, did you type this!?"
No answer.
K: "...Korosu!?"
EVIL NICKERS OF DOOM (ENOD): "No you silly human! It was me!!!!"
D: ::dies of shock::
W: "Now I'm all alone... Heero's with Korosu doing who knows what, Quatre and Duo are dead, and Trowa's...well, he's doing something funky with Quatre's corpse." ::shivers::
ENOD: "HES ALL ALONE! Now's my chance!" ::eats Kuramitsa and starts typing::
EVIL CLOWN ASSISTANTS: ::attack Wufei and eat him alive::
H and LOOK: ::drop through the ceiling:: ::see the evil clown assistants eating Wufei alive:: "..."
T: ::yells from upstairs:: "THAT'S MY LINE!!!"
K: "We need a change of scenery." ::Drops a 'Randomization Bomb' into the fic, and it explodes into a bunch of pink smoke and brownish-red lights::
All but K: ::as the smoke clears, they realize that they are in strawberry fields, where John Lennon sings music accompanied by Lucy with diamonds, who is in the sky. Paul McCartney runs around with a fake white beard, rambling about being 64 years old or something, as Ringo Starr rides around in his new yellow submarine. During all this, George Harrison sits and meditates as he talks about a northern song, and the color of his hair.:: ::they all look at each other and exchange glances::
RANDOMIZATION BOMB: ::has returned everyone back to normal. Trowa's the strong silent manic depressive one again, Heero is an angry, torn "Perfet Soldier", Duo's a party animal who is also a huggable God of Death (He didnt change at all), Quatre's...gay, and Wufei bitches about injustice and weak onnas. As for Korosu, she's still...hyper. Not even a randomization bomb can change that.::
H: "What the fuck..." ::pulls out a sniper rifle and shoots them all down, grabbing Korosu by the wrist and pulling her into the yellow submarine with a dead Ringo in it, bleeding all over the chairs.:: "Damnit! Not the uphoulstry!"
LOOK: "You're worried about CHAIRS? When Ringo's dead body is...bleeding all over a fresh paint job!?" ::throws Ringo's corpse out of the front window and makes her mutant fanfic nijas of cheese clean the submarine::
H: "Boy, I'm stuck with the strange one." ::anime tear on head::
T: "..."
K: "Well said, Trowa."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I apologize for the short-ness of this fic.
What is Heero planning to do with the submarine? What are our heros (LOL ::sneeze:: heros? Idiots if anything) going to do about the corpses taking up precious space? What happened to the Evil Nickers of Doom? And WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS TROWA SAYING!? Can we get a freaking translator in here??? The answers to all of these questions--except maybe that last one--in some chapter that is coming later!
Well, only if you post enough reviews. No reviews, NO MORE CHAPTERS!!!!!!
WARNING: This is a REALLY STUPID fic that will make you stupider than stupid. So there...STUPID! You may also notice a lot of *special author's permit to twist the truth* in this fic (hint hint *Heero*) so if you can't deal with it then FUCK OFF. I believe it's title describes it very well, because after reading it you will really think, "This was pure Gundam Nonsense" or maybe even "!?!?!?!?" but either way it's all in good nature.
...not.
CHARACHTERS:
Heero Wufei Quatre ((honestly, who else would it be? Its a freaking Q!!!)) Trowa Duo K=Kuramitsa LOOK=Lady Omae O Korosu ((ME!!! Isn't it funny that my abbreviation spells "look"? heh..eh...oh whatever.))
Oh, and double brackets indicate OOC. example: ((HI I am out of charachter bla bla bla))
But, on with the story! /center
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* PART 1: EVIL NICKERS OF DOOM/b
Setting: The boredom happy house of terror...don't ask.
Q: "MY NICKERS ARE MISSING! MY NICKERS ARE MISSING!!!!!!"
T: "You don't wear nickers."
Q:"They are my evil nickers of doom that nobody knows about but me. No one will ever know they exist, not even you. I hide them in a special place that no one knows about, inside a hidden cabinet behind the dresser. But no one will ever find it."
H: ::Gives the trademark 'Imbeciles.' Heero look::
Q: "WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT, PRETTY BOY!?" *sniff* "I'VE LOST MY PRECIOUS NICKERS!" ::begins bawling::
K: "Okay Korosu, this is getting boring. Time for me to spice things up." ::pushes Korosu aside::
LOOK: "What the--" ::is shoved out of the computer chair::
K: "Lets see...Wufei hasn't talked yet. Watch this."
W: ::Looks at Quatre:: "Hey you sexy demon!...WHAT THE!? Did I just say that!? Who is RESPONSIBLE for such INJUSTICE!?!?!?"
K: "ME!"
LOOK: ::Hops into the fanfic:: "Now whats this--" ::short attention span kicks in:: *GASP* "HEERO MY TEDDY!" ::glomp::
All Gundam Boys except Heero: Is that even possible...?
H: 0.o hi...
Q: ::throws oranges at Wufei, then bursts out laughing::
T: ::Masturbates quietly in a corner:: "..."
W: "Okay can someone please explain to me WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!?"
LOOK: "Nope! No one can because WE don't even know what's going on!"
H: "Oook....Hey Korosu, wanna get some sugar?"
LOOK: "Hell yea!" ::runs into kitchen with Heero in tow, shutting the door tightly::
All but Heero and Korosu: ::watches Trowa::
T: ::Moans and cums all over the walls he's facing, then shivers and sits for a second, then turns around:: "...What?"
Q: ::Stares at his big willy sticking out of his pants::
T: ::Puts his pole back in as he follows the others, dragging Quatre who seems to be frozen staring at the same spot of air where Trowa's tallywhacker was once visible::
All: ::Walk toward the kitchen from which there can be heard suspicious and strange giggling::
W: ::Opens the door, a waterfall of candy pouring out onto him and suffocating him::
D: "Oh my god! They killed Wufei!"
T: "YOU BASTARDS!" ::Tears well up in his eyes as he drags Wufei's corpse to the bedroom to rape him like the necrophiliac he is:: ::A bolt of lightning comes down through teh roof and kills Trowa as he drags the body::
D and Q: 0.o ::look inside the kitchen, revealing a very hyper Heero fucking a very hyper Korosu::
D: O_O ::gets a big boner:: "S'cuse me." ::runs off to the bathroom to jerk off::
Q: 0.o ::faints::
T: "Whoever wrote this is messed up."
Q: "HEY! I thought you guys were dead!!!"
W: ::Borrows the 'Heero Death Glare':: "I thought you were FAINTED!"
Q: ::cowers:: "I see your point." ::re-faints::
H: "Do you guys mind!? I'm not quite through here!" ::pumps in and out of her faster and harder::
T: "But--"
LOOK: "Listen, we're almost done, just wait a little bit and we'll be done soon."
T: "Ugh. Fine." ::Turns around to see Duo come out of the bathroom with newly-washed hands, a fading but still obvious boner, and a pale, sheepish look:: "...hi guys."
W: ::rolls eyes::
Random Monkey: ::throws oranges at Wufei::
W: "JESUS! WHAT'S WITH THE ORANGES!?"
K: "That would be MY doing."
T: "I nearly forgot about you, Kuramitsa."
W: "I wish I could've." ::flips the bird to Kuramitsa, two more oranges hit him, this time hitting his shiny black hair:: "WHAT!? NO! I JUST WAXED IT THIS MORNING!" ::runs into the bathroom to fix it but slips on Duo's semen, which coats all of the bathroom surfaces about an inch thick::
All: ::hear a thud, Duo snickers::
D: "That would be MY doing."
The house shakes as loud moans can be heard from inside of the kitchen, then Heero screams Korosu's name and the shaking stops.((It's my fic, I'll do what I want!))
All: ::look inside of kitchen to see two smug anime charachters, namely Heero and Korosu, smoking cigarettes with bags under their eyes and sweat beads on their faces. They have the uncontrollable giggles.::
LOOK: "Heh. Heheh. It's so much more fun to have sex on a mountain of candy than anywhere else."
H: "Heh. Yeah. Heheh."
H and LOOK: ::look at each other and burst out laughing for no apparent reason::
LOOK: ::eyes widen as she suddenly sits up:: "I NEED MORE SUGAR!" ::gobbles candy as Heero joins her::
H: "Oh! I have an idea!"
LOOK: "Wow, really?" ::writes it down:: 'Today, my teddy had an idea.'
H: "Yeah, let's turn into cheesy anime styles!"
LOOK: "OKAY!" ::turns into chibi mode, with her purple-black striped hair pinned up in a bun:: ::Looks at Heero's chibi mode:: "HEERO MY TEDDY, SO SHUPA CUTE!!!!!!" ((Shupa, sometimes spelled shuppa, is my word for super. TO USE IT AT ALL YOU NEED TO ASK ME!!!! Bakas... :[ ))
D: 0.o "The law of cheese states that you aren't allowed to toss midgets during mid-summer."
CHIBI H: O_o
CHIBI LOOK: O_o
D: "What!?!?"
CHIBI H: "Nuthin." ::kisses Chibi Korosu's forehead and grabs her around the waist as he blasts off into the air::
Q, D, and T: "...What just happened?"
W: ::comes out of the bathroom with his hair freshly washed and thoroughly waxed::
Q: *GASP* "SHINY!!!!!!" ::runs up to Wufei and pokes his shiny head:: ::gets pelted by 15 oranges being shot at the speed of light and dies::
RANDOM NARRARATOR: ::pops into the scene:: "K.O.!!!!" ::pops back out of the scene:: ((Thanks to the tenchi nonsense fic "Bathroom Break" for the K.O. idea(see? i give credit where it's due)))
W: "Well...that was interesting."
T: "MY GAY LOVER! NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!" ::drags Quatre's body upstairs to try and do what he almost did to Wufei::
K: "What...????? I didn't write all that! Korosu, did you type this!?"
No answer.
K: "...Korosu!?"
EVIL NICKERS OF DOOM (ENOD): "No you silly human! It was me!!!!"
D: ::dies of shock::
W: "Now I'm all alone... Heero's with Korosu doing who knows what, Quatre and Duo are dead, and Trowa's...well, he's doing something funky with Quatre's corpse." ::shivers::
ENOD: "HES ALL ALONE! Now's my chance!" ::eats Kuramitsa and starts typing::
EVIL CLOWN ASSISTANTS: ::attack Wufei and eat him alive::
H and LOOK: ::drop through the ceiling:: ::see the evil clown assistants eating Wufei alive:: "..."
T: ::yells from upstairs:: "THAT'S MY LINE!!!"
K: "We need a change of scenery." ::Drops a 'Randomization Bomb' into the fic, and it explodes into a bunch of pink smoke and brownish-red lights::
All but K: ::as the smoke clears, they realize that they are in strawberry fields, where John Lennon sings music accompanied by Lucy with diamonds, who is in the sky. Paul McCartney runs around with a fake white beard, rambling about being 64 years old or something, as Ringo Starr rides around in his new yellow submarine. During all this, George Harrison sits and meditates as he talks about a northern song, and the color of his hair.:: ::they all look at each other and exchange glances::
RANDOMIZATION BOMB: ::has returned everyone back to normal. Trowa's the strong silent manic depressive one again, Heero is an angry, torn "Perfet Soldier", Duo's a party animal who is also a huggable God of Death (He didnt change at all), Quatre's...gay, and Wufei bitches about injustice and weak onnas. As for Korosu, she's still...hyper. Not even a randomization bomb can change that.::
H: "What the fuck..." ::pulls out a sniper rifle and shoots them all down, grabbing Korosu by the wrist and pulling her into the yellow submarine with a dead Ringo in it, bleeding all over the chairs.:: "Damnit! Not the uphoulstry!"
LOOK: "You're worried about CHAIRS? When Ringo's dead body is...bleeding all over a fresh paint job!?" ::throws Ringo's corpse out of the front window and makes her mutant fanfic nijas of cheese clean the submarine::
H: "Boy, I'm stuck with the strange one." ::anime tear on head::
T: "..."
K: "Well said, Trowa."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I apologize for the short-ness of this fic.
What is Heero planning to do with the submarine? What are our heros (LOL ::sneeze:: heros? Idiots if anything) going to do about the corpses taking up precious space? What happened to the Evil Nickers of Doom? And WHAT IN GOD'S NAME IS TROWA SAYING!? Can we get a freaking translator in here??? The answers to all of these questions--except maybe that last one--in some chapter that is coming later!
Well, only if you post enough reviews. No reviews, NO MORE CHAPTERS!!!!!!