AN: Dis is 4 Ditzy………….. here you go, evil person.

As soon as we sat down to eat, the doorbell rang. Sighing, Asia rose and went to answer the door. She returned a minute later, Lex on her heals. He sat in the seat next to hers, the only one left at the table.

"Hi," Devin greeted him, smiling. "I'm Devin, Asia's cousin."

"Lex," he told her, smiling.

"Can we eat?" Neville asked, sighing. "I'm hungry." His stomach growled in agreement, voicing that it was indeed true.

"Excuse him," Devin told the guests. "He's a bit of a pig."

"Pig?" Ginny asked, passing around the garlic bread. "If I'm correct, he ate half of the 7-layer cake at the wedding."

"He's a human garbage disposal," Asia snickered, passing around the angel hair pasta.

"I am not," Neville protested, putting sauce on his pasta. "I'm a growing man."

"Growing pig is more like it," Devin said, placing the baby in a high chair. The infant looked like it was about to bust into tears when Devin gave it a rattle, which it shook and gurgled happily, excited by the noise.

"A pig and a baby machine," Ginny mused. "A very odd couple if you ask me."

"We've been married 3 years," Devin protested.

"You've got 3 kids," Asia said, smirking. "If you ask me, that's something very Molly Weasley to do."

"She's pregnant again?" Ginny asked, shocked. "She just had Erin. How the hell did that happen?"

"See," Draco butted in. "When a man and a woman-"

He was slapped upside the head by Ginny, cutting off his speech. "I meant when?" she said, rolling her eyes at him.

Neville swallowed his mouth full of food and said, "It's not really important."

"I think so," Lex put in. "I'd really like to hear about it."

"Family reunion," Devin told them, feeding Jacob, who thought it'd be cute to put the pasta in his hair. "Three months ago."

"I thought it was when we saw your mother two months ago?" Neville said, looking at his wife.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "Remember when everybody was talking about going for a walk and we 'got lost' in the woods."

"I thought it was when we decided to take that walk in the garden?" he asked, his food forgotten.

"Wait," Draco interrupted, shocked. "Longbottom has sex in public areas?"

"Language," Devin warned, pointing at Jacob, who just giggled and shoved a handful of spaghetti in his mouth, trying to feed himself.

"Best place," he said, leaning back in his chair. "Except for that time we were at her parents house. Her father nearly had a heart attack. Didn't help that your sister came running out after he did."

"Imagine seeing your daughter doing-that-to her boyfriend," Devin said, trying to clean up after Jacob, who was spilling his food everywhere.

"She won't," Neville simply said, eating his food again.

"That's kinda disturbing," Lex said. "I mean, if my daughter was doing stuff like that, and I caught her, I think she'd be suddenly single."

"Just remember that when my dad finds out I might be pregnant," Asia warned him. "My brothers would be a bit sore, but my Dad just might try and kill you."

"I could say the same for you," Ginny said, looking at Draco.

"I'm a Malfoy," he told her, smirking. "I can handle it."

"Right," Devin said, giving him a knowing smirk back.

Tired of being ignored, Jacob jumped out his chair and climbed under the table, giggling. His mother sighed and dove under the table, after her son.

"Something's wrong with him I swear," Neville muttered, eating his food.

Lex was about to say something, when he was hit on the head. HARD. He looked to see Erin gurgling happily, waving her rattle around. Asia rolled her eyes as she saw Lex glare at the infant.

"She's a baby Lex," she told him, rolling her eyes.

"She hit me," he told her, pouting.

"She's one," Devin said, sitting back in her seat, Jacob in her arms.

"She hit me," he grumbled, but went back to his food.

After a while, he was about to say something, when he got hit on the head. He looked to see Erin babbling happily, waving the rattle at him. He glared at her, hoping she would get it, but she took no notice of him. He went back to eating his food, head pounding.

Then, after having only one bite of his food, she hit him again, but harder this time. Lex growled and looked at her, seeing her gurgle happily. He took the rattle out of her hands. She looked shocked for a moment, then burst into tears, crying at the top of her lungs.

"I swear," Devin muttered, picking the baby up. She tried to calm her down, but it wasn't working.

"Just give her the rattle," Asia told Lex, seeing the toy in his hand.

"No," he told her stubbornly. "She kept hitting me with it."

"Give her the rattle," Ginny told him. "She's hurting my ears."

Before he could protest anymore, Neville took the rattle out of his hands and gave it to his daughter. Toy in hand, she stopped crying immediately and gurgled happily, waving it around. Devin put her back in the baby seat and everyone went back to eating. Then, Erin said something for the first time.

"Bitch," could be heard from a child's voice.

"What?" Asia asked, startled.

"Bitch," Erin said again, bouncing in her seat and clapping her hands happily. Her brother laughed, seeing the shocked looks on everyone's faces.

"Please tell me she did not just say that," Ginny said slowly, creeped out.

"Bitch," the infant said again and smiled, happy with her accomplishment to quiet all of the adults present.

"I think I need my inhaler," Devin wheezed, rushing out of the room.

"What's wrong with her?" Lex asked, ignoring the baby next to him for a moment.

"Asthma," Neville said, looking after her worriedly.

"I'll see you whenever," Asia told him as he left.

"I'll check on her," Neville said, rising from his seat. "Make sure she's okay."

He walked out the room, looking for Asia.

******************** Later on ----------------------

That was the last anyone had seen of the two for three hours. The kids, exhausted after running around all day and oblivious to their parents locked in a room upstairs, were put in the guest room. They fell asleep the second they were put on the soft bed. Asia stared at them as they slept, looking like little angels. She knew they weren't, but they looked so sweet.

"Been one hell of a day," Lex muttered as Asia walked into the living room. "Got this killer headache."

"Too much stress," Asia told him, shaking her head. "I'll give you a massage. It'll do wonders for that head of yours."

"Here?" he asked, shocked.

"No silly," she told him, shaking her head. "I've got my stuff in my room."

He followed her up the stairs to her room, shocked at how familiar this seemed to him already. He followed her into the spacious bedroom and sat on the bed as she went into the bathroom. She came back with an arm full of oils and a towel. Seeing him, she shook her head.

"Take your shirt off," she told him, smiling. "It'd be better if you took it all off."

He walked to the bathroom and grabbed the towel she offered him, slowly peeling himself of his clothes. (AN: Must remember this is R people!!!) He wrapped the towel around his waist and walked out. Asia had lit scented candles and had placed them around the room, giving it a sweet vanilla smell. She had already gotten the oils out and was waiting for him to come out. He laid on his stomach on the feather soft bed.

"Let's get started," Asia said, turning on a CD. It was playing soft, soul music, and relaxing Lex's troubled mind. Asia, hands covered with sweet smelling oil, started rubbing his shoulders, trying to get him to relax. Lex had to stifle a moan. This was the greatest thing he'd ever felt.

"Feels good doesn't it?" Asia asked, breathing on his ear.

"You have no idea," Lex told her, relaxing under her touch.

"So," she asked slowly. "How do you feel about this whole baby thing?"

"I don't really care," he told her. "My parents want me to start a family and everything. We get along okay for people who hardly know each other. I think it won't be too bad."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"I just thought you'd be upset about being tied down."

"I'm fine with it really."

"So do you want a boy or girl?"

"Haven't thought about it really. Maybe a girl."

"I've always wanted a boy. I mean, I have tons of brothers and I know how to deal with them."

"We'll just have to wait and see."

They fell into a comfortable silence, every once in a while Lex suppressing a groan. He felt so comfortable with her hands running over him he was close to falling asleep.

"Having a good time?" Asia asked, pulling away from him.

"Yeah," he told her, rolling over. "I'll have to pay you back for doing this."

"How?" she asked, standing over him.

He smirked and said, "I have an idea."

Without warning, he pulled her down for a kiss. She fought against him at first, but gave in. As the kiss deepened he pulled her on top of him, ignoring the fact he was covered in oil and had on only a towel. That little kiss led too much more but, seeing as this has to stay R, we can't go into details. (AN: DAMN IT!!!)

************************ Mean while ********************

"I had a great time," Ginny told Draco, walking him to the front door.

"Yeah," Draco agreed. Kissing her cheek he asked, "I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Tomorrow," she agreed, smiling.

He walked out the door and walked to his car. She watched as he sat behind the wheel and pulled off. She then walked back to her room, feeling lonely. It was odd how hollow and alone she felt without him there. But, there was always tomorrow. And tomorrow was going to be an exciting day.

Little did she know HOW exciting…………………..

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I'm so evil! * slaps hand* BAD AUTHOR!

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What will happen the next day? Will Devin and Neville stay away from each other? Will Lex grow a brain? Will Draco get killed. Look for the next episode of:

"The sick mind of a teenage author"

Better know as:

"Why Drinking is bad"

That was funny, wasn't it?…………………………