Title: Things I Didn't Know
Author: Glorificus Fickwalker
Rating: Mild PG13 I guess. Nothing awful, unless you count my writing itself.
Genre: Hmm. Angst? I'm not actually sure with this one.
Archival: Yes to fabulae, The PSA and FictionAlley.Org if they'll have me, otherwise, just ask.
Thanks: To Alana for keeping me company as I wrote most of this and giving her immeasurable words of opinion.
Feedback: Welcomed and appreciated - fick.walker@bigpond.com
DISCLAIMER: Don't own, don't sue. Not making any money, this is all in fun.
Summary: Sixth year, slightly AU. Hermione's POV. Best friends don't have secrets from each other ... Do they?
--------------------------
He's my best friend ... The Boy Who Lived. It's always been him, Ron and me. After everything that happened during fifth year, all the things Harry lost, found out ... had taken from him. I just wanted him to be happy for once. After all we went through, I thought we were honest with each other, I thought each of us knew all there was to know about the other two.
I was wrong.
I see all those things he thinks he hides so well. The flicker of pain in his eyes, the dejected slump of his slender shoulders ... Even the way he sneaks a furtive glance, making sure no one is watching, before slipping off down a dark corridor ...
He thinks no one knows where he is when he's not with the rest of us ... He thinks we haven't noticed his absence, or perhaps, that we put it down to him brooding about all that's already happened to him.
But I know the truth now.
I know where he goes late at night, after Ron, Dean and Seamus are fast asleep. I know who he sneaks out of Gryffindor tower to see.
Curiosity got the better of me one night, when those furtive glances were being thrown thick and fast, his attention so badly diverted that even Ron questioned where he actually was. The boys retreated to bed soon after, leaving me in the common room alone. I extinguished the fire and waited silently in the darkness. Sure enough, after an hour or so, I heard his heavy footsteps as he came down form the boys dormitory, draped in his invisibility cloak. Like all other 16 year old boys, Harry still hasn't managed to master the art of not stomping around like an elephant.
I kept a safe distance behind him, making sure my steps were silent, hiding behind statues and pillars to make sure I was hidden from his view. I followed him deeper and deeper into the castle. As I caught my breath behind a sleeping suit of armor, the door of the dungeon on the other side of the suit swung open, almost lazily. There stood Draco Malfoy, a shrewd smile on his pale, pointed face.
In stunned silence, I watched as Harry pulled the invisibility cloak from around his shoulders.
"Miss me?"
"Please, Potter. I could hear you from two floors away. Did anyone ever tell you that you stomp around like an elephant?"
I watched as Harry stepped forward, into Malfoy's personal space.
"Only Hermione, but I don't think that counts."
Malfoy raised an eyebrow and Harry leant forwards to kiss his neck. I slapped my hand over my mouth to muffle my gasp of surprise. I saw Malfoy's eyes narrow ever so slightly ... I never realized he was so perceptive.
"Mudblood," He whispered as his eyes met mine through the gap in which I was watching them.
Harry pulled back from Malfoy and when he spoke, his voice was tinged with veiled hurt.
"You know I don't like it when you call her that."
Malfoy rolled his eyes and smirked as he lifted a hand to trace Harry's cheek.
"Tell me, Potter, what would your beloved Mudblood say if she saw you here with me ...," Malfoy leaned in and licked Harry's lips. Harry moaned as tears sprang to my eyes.
Oh Harry...
"If she saw you here, wrapped in my arms, shivering from my touch. What would she say, St. Potter?," Malfoy purred as he slipped his arms around Harry's waist, bringing their bodies closer together and kissing Harry's neck. Harry's head fell back and something close to a whimper escaped him.
Malfoy lifted his mouth from Harry's throat, allowing his lips to just graze the curve of Harry's neck as he looked over Harry's shoulder at me.
"Well, Potter?"
As I watched, Harry moaned and pressed himself against Malfoy.
"I don't care what she says ... I just want you."
I stifled a sob as Malfoy smiled maliciously at me. He pulled back to full height and looked from me to Harry.
"Right answer ... Harry."
Harry sighed as Malfoy pulled him through the door way. Before I closed my eyes against my tears, I saw Malfoy's triumphant grin as he kicked the door closed. I sat there, motionless for a few minutes, trying to cry silently and compose myself at the same time.
How I stumbled back to Gryffindor tower, I'll never know. I crawled back into my bed and sobbed myself to sleep. How would I be able to look Harry in the eye again? He wasn't who I thought he was ... I knew he was upset about Sirius, but turning to Malfoy of all people?
The next morning I woke, half thinking it was all a terrible dream but when I looked in the mirror and my tear stained faced greeted me silently, I knew it was all too real. I took my time washing and dressing for the school day, hoping by the time I got down to the Great Hall, Harry would've already left for our morning potions class.
Of course, no such luck. I stalled as long as I could, even stopping to talk to Professor McGonagall about my Transfigurations homework before I sat at the Gryffindor table, across from Harry.
"Morning 'Mione. You sleep in or something?," Ron mumbled between mouthfuls of cereal.
"Uh, yeah, something like that .. ," I muttered, avoiding his eyes. I stole a quick glance at Harry, hoping he hadn't noticed my apprehension. He was staring over my shoulder. Under the pretense of dropping a piece of cutlery, I looked over to what had Harry's attention, even though, I half knew already.
Malfoy was staring right back at Harry, a slight smile on his face and if I wasn't mistaken ...Was that ..? It couldn't be ...
Malfoy's gaze flicked to me and he paled momentarily, his eyes immediately slid to a scowling almost closed and his jaw clenched. I sat up quickly, staring at the plate in front of me, not daring to move an inch, praying against all odds that Harry hadn't noticed the brief visual exchange between Malfoy and I.
After a few moments filled with the sounds of Ron's voracious eating habits, I dared the chance to look up. Harry's bright green gaze pinned me immediately with this look bordering on heartbreak ... Pleading ... Don't hate me, please Hermione ...
I looked away, a hot flush rising in my cheeks. I didn't want to deal with this. After everything Malfoy's family had done to us ... To Harry! How could he just forget it all and let Malfoy do those things to him? Just because Malfoy loved him, that didn't give him a ... Wait. Malfoy loved Harry.
I felt like my heart stopped. The realization of what those words meant actually sunk in.
Draco Malfoy, Death Eater-in-training ... Was in love with my best friend.
I swallowed thickly and glanced up at Harry.
"I-... I have to go ... See you two in Potions," I stuttered as I tried to not run from the table.
"Hermione, wait!"
I turned and hurried away from Harry's voice. I made it into the Entrance Hall before he caught up with me, grabbing my arm and swinging me around to face him.
"Hermione, let me explain-.."
"Explain what? How long you've been sleeping with Malfoy?"
He looked shocked and for a moment I relished the sight. One breath later and I was holding back tears.
"Malfoy of all people, Harry?"
I stared up at him, waiting for an answer, hoping I wouldn't hear what I thought I would.
"I love him, Hermione."
I closed my eyes and rocked back slightly as if hit.
"And he loves me."
I opened my eyes and looked up at him, taking in the gentleness of his tone, the sense of calm drifting in his eyes ... Because of Malfoy.
"I know he does."
I smiled slightly and brushed at my tears, taking a deep breath and steadying myself.
"Anyone who sees the way he looks at you would know."
"Does this mean ... I mean, you don't hate me?"
I sent him a reproachful look.
"How could I ever hate you Harry? You're my best friend."
"But Draco?"
"Does he make you happy?"
He was silent for a moment before he smiled broadly, the first real smile I'd seen in months.
"Happier than I ever thought was possible."
"Then I'm happy for you. But Harry, you have to promise me one thing."
"Anything. You name it."
"Warn me well in advance when you're going to tell Ron. I want to make arrangements to be out of the country."
We both burst into laughter, melting away the tension that had been between us. At that moment, Ron came jogging up.
"Where did you two get to? I looked up from finishing my breakfast and you were both gone! And what in bloody hell are you laughing about?"
Harry and I both smiled as Harry slung one arm about Ron's shoulders and the other around mine.
"Ron, mate, believe me when I tell you, you don't want to know," Harry said, winking at me as we turned as one and headed down towards the dungeons for our Potions class.
Nowadays, I pretend not to notice when he disappears. I even make excuses for him. Why? I'm not quite sure. Perhaps because tomorrow, Voldemort could appear on the steps of Hogwarts and demand Harry's head on a platter. Harry being the insufferable hero, would go to him ... If only to save the rest of us.
He's my best friend and I want him to be happy. He could die tomorrow at the hands of the enemy ... But tonight, he sleeps in the arms of the one he loves. Who am I to deny him that?
~FIN~
Author: Glorificus Fickwalker
Rating: Mild PG13 I guess. Nothing awful, unless you count my writing itself.
Genre: Hmm. Angst? I'm not actually sure with this one.
Archival: Yes to fabulae, The PSA and FictionAlley.Org if they'll have me, otherwise, just ask.
Thanks: To Alana for keeping me company as I wrote most of this and giving her immeasurable words of opinion.
Feedback: Welcomed and appreciated - fick.walker@bigpond.com
DISCLAIMER: Don't own, don't sue. Not making any money, this is all in fun.
Summary: Sixth year, slightly AU. Hermione's POV. Best friends don't have secrets from each other ... Do they?
--------------------------
He's my best friend ... The Boy Who Lived. It's always been him, Ron and me. After everything that happened during fifth year, all the things Harry lost, found out ... had taken from him. I just wanted him to be happy for once. After all we went through, I thought we were honest with each other, I thought each of us knew all there was to know about the other two.
I was wrong.
I see all those things he thinks he hides so well. The flicker of pain in his eyes, the dejected slump of his slender shoulders ... Even the way he sneaks a furtive glance, making sure no one is watching, before slipping off down a dark corridor ...
He thinks no one knows where he is when he's not with the rest of us ... He thinks we haven't noticed his absence, or perhaps, that we put it down to him brooding about all that's already happened to him.
But I know the truth now.
I know where he goes late at night, after Ron, Dean and Seamus are fast asleep. I know who he sneaks out of Gryffindor tower to see.
Curiosity got the better of me one night, when those furtive glances were being thrown thick and fast, his attention so badly diverted that even Ron questioned where he actually was. The boys retreated to bed soon after, leaving me in the common room alone. I extinguished the fire and waited silently in the darkness. Sure enough, after an hour or so, I heard his heavy footsteps as he came down form the boys dormitory, draped in his invisibility cloak. Like all other 16 year old boys, Harry still hasn't managed to master the art of not stomping around like an elephant.
I kept a safe distance behind him, making sure my steps were silent, hiding behind statues and pillars to make sure I was hidden from his view. I followed him deeper and deeper into the castle. As I caught my breath behind a sleeping suit of armor, the door of the dungeon on the other side of the suit swung open, almost lazily. There stood Draco Malfoy, a shrewd smile on his pale, pointed face.
In stunned silence, I watched as Harry pulled the invisibility cloak from around his shoulders.
"Miss me?"
"Please, Potter. I could hear you from two floors away. Did anyone ever tell you that you stomp around like an elephant?"
I watched as Harry stepped forward, into Malfoy's personal space.
"Only Hermione, but I don't think that counts."
Malfoy raised an eyebrow and Harry leant forwards to kiss his neck. I slapped my hand over my mouth to muffle my gasp of surprise. I saw Malfoy's eyes narrow ever so slightly ... I never realized he was so perceptive.
"Mudblood," He whispered as his eyes met mine through the gap in which I was watching them.
Harry pulled back from Malfoy and when he spoke, his voice was tinged with veiled hurt.
"You know I don't like it when you call her that."
Malfoy rolled his eyes and smirked as he lifted a hand to trace Harry's cheek.
"Tell me, Potter, what would your beloved Mudblood say if she saw you here with me ...," Malfoy leaned in and licked Harry's lips. Harry moaned as tears sprang to my eyes.
Oh Harry...
"If she saw you here, wrapped in my arms, shivering from my touch. What would she say, St. Potter?," Malfoy purred as he slipped his arms around Harry's waist, bringing their bodies closer together and kissing Harry's neck. Harry's head fell back and something close to a whimper escaped him.
Malfoy lifted his mouth from Harry's throat, allowing his lips to just graze the curve of Harry's neck as he looked over Harry's shoulder at me.
"Well, Potter?"
As I watched, Harry moaned and pressed himself against Malfoy.
"I don't care what she says ... I just want you."
I stifled a sob as Malfoy smiled maliciously at me. He pulled back to full height and looked from me to Harry.
"Right answer ... Harry."
Harry sighed as Malfoy pulled him through the door way. Before I closed my eyes against my tears, I saw Malfoy's triumphant grin as he kicked the door closed. I sat there, motionless for a few minutes, trying to cry silently and compose myself at the same time.
How I stumbled back to Gryffindor tower, I'll never know. I crawled back into my bed and sobbed myself to sleep. How would I be able to look Harry in the eye again? He wasn't who I thought he was ... I knew he was upset about Sirius, but turning to Malfoy of all people?
The next morning I woke, half thinking it was all a terrible dream but when I looked in the mirror and my tear stained faced greeted me silently, I knew it was all too real. I took my time washing and dressing for the school day, hoping by the time I got down to the Great Hall, Harry would've already left for our morning potions class.
Of course, no such luck. I stalled as long as I could, even stopping to talk to Professor McGonagall about my Transfigurations homework before I sat at the Gryffindor table, across from Harry.
"Morning 'Mione. You sleep in or something?," Ron mumbled between mouthfuls of cereal.
"Uh, yeah, something like that .. ," I muttered, avoiding his eyes. I stole a quick glance at Harry, hoping he hadn't noticed my apprehension. He was staring over my shoulder. Under the pretense of dropping a piece of cutlery, I looked over to what had Harry's attention, even though, I half knew already.
Malfoy was staring right back at Harry, a slight smile on his face and if I wasn't mistaken ...Was that ..? It couldn't be ...
Malfoy's gaze flicked to me and he paled momentarily, his eyes immediately slid to a scowling almost closed and his jaw clenched. I sat up quickly, staring at the plate in front of me, not daring to move an inch, praying against all odds that Harry hadn't noticed the brief visual exchange between Malfoy and I.
After a few moments filled with the sounds of Ron's voracious eating habits, I dared the chance to look up. Harry's bright green gaze pinned me immediately with this look bordering on heartbreak ... Pleading ... Don't hate me, please Hermione ...
I looked away, a hot flush rising in my cheeks. I didn't want to deal with this. After everything Malfoy's family had done to us ... To Harry! How could he just forget it all and let Malfoy do those things to him? Just because Malfoy loved him, that didn't give him a ... Wait. Malfoy loved Harry.
I felt like my heart stopped. The realization of what those words meant actually sunk in.
Draco Malfoy, Death Eater-in-training ... Was in love with my best friend.
I swallowed thickly and glanced up at Harry.
"I-... I have to go ... See you two in Potions," I stuttered as I tried to not run from the table.
"Hermione, wait!"
I turned and hurried away from Harry's voice. I made it into the Entrance Hall before he caught up with me, grabbing my arm and swinging me around to face him.
"Hermione, let me explain-.."
"Explain what? How long you've been sleeping with Malfoy?"
He looked shocked and for a moment I relished the sight. One breath later and I was holding back tears.
"Malfoy of all people, Harry?"
I stared up at him, waiting for an answer, hoping I wouldn't hear what I thought I would.
"I love him, Hermione."
I closed my eyes and rocked back slightly as if hit.
"And he loves me."
I opened my eyes and looked up at him, taking in the gentleness of his tone, the sense of calm drifting in his eyes ... Because of Malfoy.
"I know he does."
I smiled slightly and brushed at my tears, taking a deep breath and steadying myself.
"Anyone who sees the way he looks at you would know."
"Does this mean ... I mean, you don't hate me?"
I sent him a reproachful look.
"How could I ever hate you Harry? You're my best friend."
"But Draco?"
"Does he make you happy?"
He was silent for a moment before he smiled broadly, the first real smile I'd seen in months.
"Happier than I ever thought was possible."
"Then I'm happy for you. But Harry, you have to promise me one thing."
"Anything. You name it."
"Warn me well in advance when you're going to tell Ron. I want to make arrangements to be out of the country."
We both burst into laughter, melting away the tension that had been between us. At that moment, Ron came jogging up.
"Where did you two get to? I looked up from finishing my breakfast and you were both gone! And what in bloody hell are you laughing about?"
Harry and I both smiled as Harry slung one arm about Ron's shoulders and the other around mine.
"Ron, mate, believe me when I tell you, you don't want to know," Harry said, winking at me as we turned as one and headed down towards the dungeons for our Potions class.
Nowadays, I pretend not to notice when he disappears. I even make excuses for him. Why? I'm not quite sure. Perhaps because tomorrow, Voldemort could appear on the steps of Hogwarts and demand Harry's head on a platter. Harry being the insufferable hero, would go to him ... If only to save the rest of us.
He's my best friend and I want him to be happy. He could die tomorrow at the hands of the enemy ... But tonight, he sleeps in the arms of the one he loves. Who am I to deny him that?
~FIN~