Part 5
Heero was sitting in front of his laptop when Duo came into the room. He wasn't typing, although the computer was on, just staring blankly at the screen. His whole body was tense, and he didn't turn to look at Duo as he entered.
"So, have you sent J a message yet?" Duo asked challengingly.
Heero looked up sharply, but he didn't say anything. Their gazes met and held, a silent challenge that ended when Heero broke eye contact and shook his head.
"Good," Duo said, feeling relieved. "That old guy's starting to give me the creeps. You need to stay away from him for a little while and actually learn to have fun for a change." /You need to learn that your life is yours to decide, not his./
Heero snorted. "You've said that a million times."
"Yeah, well, you haven't started listening to me yet, so I'll just have to keep telling you," Duo said, grinning at his partner in an effort to lighten the mood. His eye fell on the laptop in front of Heero. "I keep telling you to spend less time on your laptop, but you don't, so I'll just have to do something about it!" So saying, he grabbed the laptop off Heero's desk and ran with it.
"Duo!!" Heero's bellow of rage followed him as the other pilot gave chase.
"Ha!" Duo crowed as he took shelter on the other side of Heero's bed. "I finally got the great Heero Yuy to engage in a childish game of tag."
"When I catch you, I'm not just going to tag you," Heero growled as he attempted, despite his injuries, to jump over the bed to get at the longhaired boy. "I'm going to kill you!"
Duo's reply was cut off by a beep from the laptop under his arm. Gleefully, he plunked it down on the desk, shooing Heero away from it. "Uh uh, Mr. Perfect Soldier; you're on vacation, remember? I'll take this one." And he opened the message.
The message was short. Startlingly short. It said simply, "Execute Operation Apoptosis."
Hearing Heero's startled gasp, Duo turned to look at him. The Japanese pilot had gone white and he was backing away from the laptop as though it was a poison-fanged monster ready to bite him. His back finally hit the wall, and he slid down it to land on the floor, curling in on himself. His shoulders shook.
Duo's mouth thinned and his face turned grim. With slow deliberation, he turned back to the laptop and deleted the message. Then, closing the laptop, he moved across the room to kneel by his partner. Hesitantly he put a hand on Heero's shoulder. "Heero? Are you okay?"
"I don't understand," Heero whispered, more to himself than to Duo. "Is it really that bad?" His eyes were blank, staring not at the present, but at the future planned for him. Duo couldn't stand that stare, so he grabbed Heero by the shoulders and pulled him into a hug, pressing the other boy's face against his chest so he wouldn't have to look into those blank eyes.
At first, it was like hugging a tree trunk. Heero was unresponsive. His whole body was tense, and he seemed incapable of relaxing. He didn't even turn his head so that his nose and mouth were no longer pressed against Duo's shirt and he could breath more easily. His stillness worried Duo, who reacted the way he normally did whenever the silence got to him. He started talking.
"Look, just ignore the old coot. I mean, who says you have to obey _every_ mission sent to you? Personally, I think the whole doctors giving orders system is overrated. I mean, what do they know? Sure, they're great engineers, but they're a thousand kilometers away in space; they don't know what's going on down here."
Heero said something, but the words got lost in the dark cloth pressed against his face. Shifting his hold a little so that he could see Heero's face again, Duo asked, "What was that?"
"They know," Heero said softly, "because I told them." His eyes were focused on the present again, but he still looked hopeless.
Duo was confused. "You told them what?"
Heero's next words were so soft that Duo almost had to read his lips to catch them. "About you."
Duo almost let go of Heero in his surprise. "Me? What did you tell them about me?"
Heero seemed to deflate, slumping against Duo and bowing his head to avoid meeting Duo's eyes. Duo could have sworn that his cheeks were faintly red, but dismissed it as his imagination. After all, everyone knew Heero never blushed.
"I. . . well, I just. . . I asked. . ." he sputtered.
For the life of him, Duo couldn't figure out what had so embarrassed Heero. "Spit it out," he said.
"I asked J for love advice," Heero blurted.
Duo had thought that nothing Heero could say would have surprised him, but he'd been wrong. His jaw dropped, and he almost laughed, but catching sight of Heero's face, he managed to check that impulse. Still, he couldn't keep the incredulity out of his voice when he asked, "You asked _him_?! Why? You could have just asked me."
Heero hung his head. "No I couldn't."
"Why not? Were you embarrassed?"
Heero nodded.
"About what?"
Heero sat in silence, and Duo's brain suddenly fit the pieces of what he'd been saying together with an almost audible click. "Waitaminute! You asked J for love advice. . . about me?!"
Heero refused to look up or meet his eyes, but he gave the smallest tilt of his head to indicate that Duo was right.
"Did you really think I would make fun of you or sneer at you if you came to me?" Duo asked, not sure whether to be indignant or sympathetic. "I mean, sure I joke around, but not about something as serious as. . ." he swallowed nervously as he considered the implications of the word for the first time, ". . .love."
"But there's something wrong," Heero said in a small voice. "I've never felt like this before. J thinks there's something wrong too; that must be why he's sending me that mission. He told me emotions were deplorable distractions."
"So he wants you to kill yourself over a distraction?" Duo said, disgust evident in his tone.
Heero seemed too lost in thought to realize that Duo knew what the mission code name meant. "I'm tainted now," he said. "I'm not perfect."
Duo pulled Heero away from him and finally gave in to the impulse to shake him violently. "Don't tell me you actually bought that crap! Of course you're not perfect! You never were! Hell, none of us are! If falling in love makes you tainted, then I am too, and you don't see me blowing myself up, do you?! Don't you dare tell me you want to die just because you're not perfect!"
"I don't," Heero whispered. "When he first gave me the orders during the battle, I couldn't see anything. I thought we were surrounded and that the order came because we had no other choice but to self-destruct. But then you got mad at me because you said there was no need for it. I started to wonder why he sent me the orders, and if he might do it again."
"And that's why you've been avoiding contacting J, right?"
"Exactly."
Duo relented and pulled Heero back in close to his body. It was hard to stay angry at him when he was really trying to disentangle himself from the spider's web J had him caught in. To break training and fail to carry out an order. . . Duo doubted that Heero had ever done such a thing before in his life. However, he was certainly doing it now. Nearly fifteen minutes had passed since they had received the message, and Heero was still alive and breathing.
"What a horrible mission to send someone," Duo mused aloud. "Why even have such a thing?"
"For the greater good," Heero said. His eyes glazed over slightly, and in a monotone voice, as though he were quoting from a science lesson, he said, "The elimination of cells by apoptosis is a necessary function. Lack of this process can lead to deformities in the organism such as webbing between fingers and toes."
Duo rolled his eyes. "Thank you, Mr. Webster. That doesn't explain why _you_ have to blow yourself up."
"Because it's better for everyone if I were to die rather then let myself or my Gundam fall into OZ's hands."
"So the whole operation name is basically one big metaphor." Duo snorted. "I think J missed his calling in life; he should have been an English major."
He wasn't sure whether it was the joke, or his whole reaction in general, but Heero finally started to relax against him. He was curling inward against his chest, as though Duo could shield him from J and his orders. In a small timid voice, so unlike his usual voice that Duo almost doubted that it was Heero speaking, he asked, "What should I do now?"
Duo had to give him the most honest answer he could. "I don't know."
tbc
Heero was sitting in front of his laptop when Duo came into the room. He wasn't typing, although the computer was on, just staring blankly at the screen. His whole body was tense, and he didn't turn to look at Duo as he entered.
"So, have you sent J a message yet?" Duo asked challengingly.
Heero looked up sharply, but he didn't say anything. Their gazes met and held, a silent challenge that ended when Heero broke eye contact and shook his head.
"Good," Duo said, feeling relieved. "That old guy's starting to give me the creeps. You need to stay away from him for a little while and actually learn to have fun for a change." /You need to learn that your life is yours to decide, not his./
Heero snorted. "You've said that a million times."
"Yeah, well, you haven't started listening to me yet, so I'll just have to keep telling you," Duo said, grinning at his partner in an effort to lighten the mood. His eye fell on the laptop in front of Heero. "I keep telling you to spend less time on your laptop, but you don't, so I'll just have to do something about it!" So saying, he grabbed the laptop off Heero's desk and ran with it.
"Duo!!" Heero's bellow of rage followed him as the other pilot gave chase.
"Ha!" Duo crowed as he took shelter on the other side of Heero's bed. "I finally got the great Heero Yuy to engage in a childish game of tag."
"When I catch you, I'm not just going to tag you," Heero growled as he attempted, despite his injuries, to jump over the bed to get at the longhaired boy. "I'm going to kill you!"
Duo's reply was cut off by a beep from the laptop under his arm. Gleefully, he plunked it down on the desk, shooing Heero away from it. "Uh uh, Mr. Perfect Soldier; you're on vacation, remember? I'll take this one." And he opened the message.
The message was short. Startlingly short. It said simply, "Execute Operation Apoptosis."
Hearing Heero's startled gasp, Duo turned to look at him. The Japanese pilot had gone white and he was backing away from the laptop as though it was a poison-fanged monster ready to bite him. His back finally hit the wall, and he slid down it to land on the floor, curling in on himself. His shoulders shook.
Duo's mouth thinned and his face turned grim. With slow deliberation, he turned back to the laptop and deleted the message. Then, closing the laptop, he moved across the room to kneel by his partner. Hesitantly he put a hand on Heero's shoulder. "Heero? Are you okay?"
"I don't understand," Heero whispered, more to himself than to Duo. "Is it really that bad?" His eyes were blank, staring not at the present, but at the future planned for him. Duo couldn't stand that stare, so he grabbed Heero by the shoulders and pulled him into a hug, pressing the other boy's face against his chest so he wouldn't have to look into those blank eyes.
At first, it was like hugging a tree trunk. Heero was unresponsive. His whole body was tense, and he seemed incapable of relaxing. He didn't even turn his head so that his nose and mouth were no longer pressed against Duo's shirt and he could breath more easily. His stillness worried Duo, who reacted the way he normally did whenever the silence got to him. He started talking.
"Look, just ignore the old coot. I mean, who says you have to obey _every_ mission sent to you? Personally, I think the whole doctors giving orders system is overrated. I mean, what do they know? Sure, they're great engineers, but they're a thousand kilometers away in space; they don't know what's going on down here."
Heero said something, but the words got lost in the dark cloth pressed against his face. Shifting his hold a little so that he could see Heero's face again, Duo asked, "What was that?"
"They know," Heero said softly, "because I told them." His eyes were focused on the present again, but he still looked hopeless.
Duo was confused. "You told them what?"
Heero's next words were so soft that Duo almost had to read his lips to catch them. "About you."
Duo almost let go of Heero in his surprise. "Me? What did you tell them about me?"
Heero seemed to deflate, slumping against Duo and bowing his head to avoid meeting Duo's eyes. Duo could have sworn that his cheeks were faintly red, but dismissed it as his imagination. After all, everyone knew Heero never blushed.
"I. . . well, I just. . . I asked. . ." he sputtered.
For the life of him, Duo couldn't figure out what had so embarrassed Heero. "Spit it out," he said.
"I asked J for love advice," Heero blurted.
Duo had thought that nothing Heero could say would have surprised him, but he'd been wrong. His jaw dropped, and he almost laughed, but catching sight of Heero's face, he managed to check that impulse. Still, he couldn't keep the incredulity out of his voice when he asked, "You asked _him_?! Why? You could have just asked me."
Heero hung his head. "No I couldn't."
"Why not? Were you embarrassed?"
Heero nodded.
"About what?"
Heero sat in silence, and Duo's brain suddenly fit the pieces of what he'd been saying together with an almost audible click. "Waitaminute! You asked J for love advice. . . about me?!"
Heero refused to look up or meet his eyes, but he gave the smallest tilt of his head to indicate that Duo was right.
"Did you really think I would make fun of you or sneer at you if you came to me?" Duo asked, not sure whether to be indignant or sympathetic. "I mean, sure I joke around, but not about something as serious as. . ." he swallowed nervously as he considered the implications of the word for the first time, ". . .love."
"But there's something wrong," Heero said in a small voice. "I've never felt like this before. J thinks there's something wrong too; that must be why he's sending me that mission. He told me emotions were deplorable distractions."
"So he wants you to kill yourself over a distraction?" Duo said, disgust evident in his tone.
Heero seemed too lost in thought to realize that Duo knew what the mission code name meant. "I'm tainted now," he said. "I'm not perfect."
Duo pulled Heero away from him and finally gave in to the impulse to shake him violently. "Don't tell me you actually bought that crap! Of course you're not perfect! You never were! Hell, none of us are! If falling in love makes you tainted, then I am too, and you don't see me blowing myself up, do you?! Don't you dare tell me you want to die just because you're not perfect!"
"I don't," Heero whispered. "When he first gave me the orders during the battle, I couldn't see anything. I thought we were surrounded and that the order came because we had no other choice but to self-destruct. But then you got mad at me because you said there was no need for it. I started to wonder why he sent me the orders, and if he might do it again."
"And that's why you've been avoiding contacting J, right?"
"Exactly."
Duo relented and pulled Heero back in close to his body. It was hard to stay angry at him when he was really trying to disentangle himself from the spider's web J had him caught in. To break training and fail to carry out an order. . . Duo doubted that Heero had ever done such a thing before in his life. However, he was certainly doing it now. Nearly fifteen minutes had passed since they had received the message, and Heero was still alive and breathing.
"What a horrible mission to send someone," Duo mused aloud. "Why even have such a thing?"
"For the greater good," Heero said. His eyes glazed over slightly, and in a monotone voice, as though he were quoting from a science lesson, he said, "The elimination of cells by apoptosis is a necessary function. Lack of this process can lead to deformities in the organism such as webbing between fingers and toes."
Duo rolled his eyes. "Thank you, Mr. Webster. That doesn't explain why _you_ have to blow yourself up."
"Because it's better for everyone if I were to die rather then let myself or my Gundam fall into OZ's hands."
"So the whole operation name is basically one big metaphor." Duo snorted. "I think J missed his calling in life; he should have been an English major."
He wasn't sure whether it was the joke, or his whole reaction in general, but Heero finally started to relax against him. He was curling inward against his chest, as though Duo could shield him from J and his orders. In a small timid voice, so unlike his usual voice that Duo almost doubted that it was Heero speaking, he asked, "What should I do now?"
Duo had to give him the most honest answer he could. "I don't know."
tbc