Title: One Step Forward

Spoilers for "No Good Deed Goes Unpunished"

Disclaimer: I don't own Abby, Carter or even the premise to ER. Those all belong to the creators and producers of the show, and the folks at Warner Brothers. No copyright infringement is ever intended.

Coming soon: Crossover chapter post-eps with KenzieGal (aka IAS)'s "The Long Way" series. Read her latest chapter for an inside look.

"I'm really glad you came."

I glance up at Eric, watching him admire his plane. I smile. "I am, too."

He turns around, facing me. "I'm sorry."

I shake my head. "Stop saying that. You… You couldn't help it."

His eyes dart around the hanger awkwardly. "That still doesn't make it any easier, does it?"

"Well… No." I close my eyes for a moment, sighing. "Eric, you have to realize that this is only the beginning."

His gaze falls on me. "I know."

"It's going to happen again."

He scoffs. "Don't remind me."

"I'm just saying…" I pause and examine his expression, trying to judge how far I should go. "If you keep apologizing now, it's not going to mean much later."

He nods and smiles knowingly, before turning his attention back to his plane. I stand behind him for a few moments, watching him. His shoulders have risen in the few minutes that we've been here. Is it pride? Maybe. Relief? Possibly.

His or mine?

It's a far cry from our last encounter.

"She looks good, doesn't she?"

I step up beside him and take in his new toy. "Yeah."

Eric looks down at me. "Do you want to go for a ride?"

I laugh lightly and rock back and forth on my heels. "I don't think so."

He pretends to look hurt. "Aww, come on Abby…" He smirks devilishly. "…Chicken?"

"Not chicken. Sober…" I shake my head and throw him a look. "I didn't bring my helmet."

He rolls his eyes at my usual excuse. "Fine, fine. Have it your way." He looks back towards the plane as a thought hits him. "I bet Carter would go."

"I'm not sure about that," I return, smiling as I recall his concern as I left the hospital.

He shoves his hands in his pockets, mimicking my stance beside him. "How come he didn't come?"

I frown and look up at my brother. "What? Tonight?"

Eric shrugs. "Yeah."

"Oh. Umm…" I look at the ground briefly and then back up at him. "He had something he needed to do. A patient…" I wave my hand in front of me, brushing the idea aside.

He nods as a smile creeps across his lips. He raises his eyebrows. "Are you two… Okay?"

I blush. "We're good." I bite my bottom lip and return his smile. "We're really good."

"Ahh…"

"Ahh, what?"

He laughs lightly and looks straight ahead. "I get it."

"Get what?" I challenge.

He glances at me out of the corner of his eye. We've played this game before. "You know. Come on, Abby… I'm bipolar, not blind."

I open my mouth to retort, but nothing comes out. I close my eyes and laugh, shaking my head.

"What?"

I nudge him playfully in the side with my elbow.

"Shut up."

He raises his hands in defense. "What did I say?"

I sigh and look up at my brother. "I've missed this."

His face softens. "Yeah. Me too."

We exchange a look for a few moments before he smiles again and turns back to his plane.

"Are you sure I can't take you for a ride?"

"Uh, positive. But thanks for the offer." I push my bag up on my shoulder, adjust my collar and glance behind me. "Come on… I'll make it up to you. Dinner. I'll cook."

"Oh, um… "

"Hey… it's not that bad."

Eric looks at the ground, shuffling his feet from side to side. "I'm not staying."

I raise my eyebrows. "No?"

His gaze drifts upward, and he puts on his best apologetic face. "I've got an appointment in the morning."

My face falls. "Oh." I pause before shaking my head, trying to mask the disappointment in my voice. "It's okay."

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

"You sure?"

I roll my eyes. "Absolutely." I smile. "We'll do it next time."

He frowns. "Next time?"

"Well… Yeah." I look at the plane. "You've got no excuse anymore."

He laughs at my implication and nods. "No, I guess I don't."

I catch his gaze once more. There's no hesitation as I reach out, pulling him into an embrace. I close my eyes, burying my nose in his shoulder.

"Thanks for coming. It really means a lot."

He responds with a sigh and squeezes me tightly. "It means a lot to me to know that I'm still welcome."

I pull away, blinking back the tears that have suddenly surfaced.

"Always, Eric. I love you."

***

I'm not expecting the sight that greets me as I approach my building.

"Hey."

He raises his head, and I'm struck by the look on his face.

"Hi."

I climb a step, hovering above him. "Did you forget your key?"

He glances up, just briefly, before shaking his head and looking down the street.

"No."

Uh oh.

I try another step and sit down beside him, interrupting the path between his eyes and whatever has conveniently captivated his attention. He shifts his gaze to his feet.

"Where's Eric?"

I tear my eyes away from the figure perched next to me and look out into the night that sits before us. It's hard to ignore this strange sense of déjà vu.

"He had to go…" I tip my head to the side and peer at him out of the corner of my eye. "He asked about you."

He nods quietly.

"I told him you were thinking of trekking off to another country and leaving me here all by myself. He said he'd kick your ass if you did."

He looks at me, his expression hard, almost angry. "You told him?"

I shrug. "Sure." I nod my head once, sharply. "You told Luka."

"Abby…" He warns.

"Yes?" I toy.

He sighs and adjusts his gaze straight ahead. "Forget it."

I stare at him for a moment before shaking my head in defeat. "Okay, I give up. What's wrong?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

No.

"Did something happen?"

No response. His gaze remains transfixed on the buildings across the street.

"Carter?" I reach out a hand and finger his chin, tipping his head in my direction. To my surprise, he doesn't resist, and for the first time since I sat down, I'm able to get a good look at him. The expression on his face makes me want to cry. I roll through the day in my head, trying to come up with something… Anything that would explain the shear disappointment in his eyes.

And then it hits me.

"Did something happen at the clinic?"

He blinks once, slowly, and pulls away.

"I said I didn't want to talk about it."

I shrug and look at my hands. "Fine." I pull my bag up onto my lap and begin to rummage through its contents. "Do you mind if I have a smoke, then? I mean, if we're going to be out here for a while."

Silence. I glance at him briefly, then continue my search.

"Damn."

His head turns. "What?"

I sigh and close my bag. "I smoked my last one this morning."

"Oh." He thinks about it for a moment, then looks back into the street.

I stand. "Well, I'm going inside, then." I turn and ascend the stairs, pulling my keys out of my pocket. "Don't forget to lock up when you come to bed."

"How does it feel?"

My hand on the doorknob, I stop and turn back towards him. "Excuse me?"

He shifts on the step to face me. "How does the shoe feel on the other foot?"

I frown. "Is that what this is about?"

He stares at me for a second before shrugging and turning back around. "Never mind."

I remain there, watching his back, unsure of my next move. A mix of emotion envelops me. Concern. Confusion. Anger.

The tables have been turned.

Is this what it's been like for him?

What do I do now?

"Carter…"

Nothing.

I close my eyes for a moment, trying to compose myself. How does he do it?

"Don't stay out too long. It's cold."

Don't stay out too long. I'd miss you.

I turn and unlock the front door, closing it behind me as I head inside. I climb the stairs slowly, keeping my ears peeled for the sounds of his entry. I hear it when I reach the top, but I resist the urge to turn around and wait for him. As if my zeal would cause him to retreat.

I let myself into the apartment and drop my bag beside the door, making sure that it closes only partially. He pushes it open moments later, as I'm taking off my coat. I hang it in the closet and give him a small smile as we change positions.

I head into the bedroom next, taking off my shoes as I go. I know he's watching me, shaking his head. He's constantly chiding me about walking through the living room in wet shoes.

"You don't like it, get your own apartment."

"I've got one. It's kind of lonely."

I'm half-undressed when he finally follows me into the bedroom. It hasn't passed me that we haven't said anything to each other, yet. I don my pajamas and head into the bathroom, leaving the door open behind me.

I catch his reflection in the mirror as I pat my damp face dry and let the water out of the sink. He's leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed against his chest. He watches me go through my nightly ritual, his eyes unblinking as they fuse themselves to my form. I smile in turn, my cheeks growing hot as they usually do when he looks at me this way.

He clears his throat and enters the room, coming to rest directly behind me. His gaze moves from my body to the image of us framed in the mirror.

"He's gone."

I raise my eyebrows. "McNulty?"

"Yeah." He looks down for a moment. "I went to the clinic to drop off his 'script. It was empty."

"Empty empty?"

He nods sadly.

"Oh, John…" I turn around and look up at him.

He shakes his head and laughs bitterly. "I can't believe I fell for it."

I sigh. "It's not your fault… How could you have known?"

"There were ways, Abby. I trusted him."

I reach up and stroke his cheek gently. "I'm sorry."

He closes his eyes and leans into my touch. "Me, too."

I'm tempted to ask him about the money, but I hold back. I'm not so sure I want to know the answer.

"I'm glad you told me."

He swallows. "Yeah."

We stand there in silence for several moments before I reach behind me and pick up his toothbrush. I hand it to him and smile.

"I'll be out there."

He grins. "Okay."

I step around him and leave him by himself, closing the door part way for privacy. I step into the bedroom and turn down the bed, flipping off the light in the room and turning on the lamp on the nightstand. Instead of slipping under the covers and lying down, however, I sit on the edge of the bed, facing the bathroom, and wait.

He emerges a few minutes later.

"Feeling better?" I ask.

He sighs and approaches me quietly. "A little."

I shift my legs so I'm kneeling on the mattress and extend a hand out to him. "Come."

He takes my hand and I guide him around to the end of the bed, indicating where I want him to sit. He obliges willingly, and I position myself directly behind him. I sit up on my heels and slowly slide my hands up his arms to his shoulders, where I begin to kneed the tight, world-weary muscles that reside there. He moans slightly at my touch, but hangs his head for easier access. I work my fingers over him, stopping every so often to place soft kisses on the tender spots.

"How's that?"

"Mmm… Feels good."

I smile and continue my manipulation around his body. My hands inch down his back, travelling over a familiar spot that deserves special attention.

"I can't believe it's almost been three years."

Silence. And then "I can."

I finish the massage and move my hands back up around his shoulders, wrapping my arms around him, pulling him closer to me. I rest my chin on his shoulder.

"If you want to go to Chechnya or the Congo, or wherever… I won't stop you."

He inhales deeply, expelling my name on his outward breath. "Abby…"

"Don't try and fight me on this. You're going."

His hands move across my arms lazily. "I won't go if you don't want me to go."

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" I poke him in the chest. "I swear, Carter, sometimes you can be the most oblivious – "

I gasp as he cuts me off by grabbing my arms and dropping onto the mattress, pulling me down on top him so we're nose-to-nose.

"Thank you," He whispers huskily.

I smile. "It's the least I could do..." I close the distance, kissing him.

"Just promise me one thing."

He tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. "Anything."

"Promise you'll come home to me."

He studies me for a few seconds before reaching up and capturing my lips again.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

***