Disclaimer - I, do not own the rights to the "Sparkling Diamond[s]" of a movie, "Moulin Rouge" (If I did I would be a genius going by the name of Baz Luhrmann). I am simply one of the "Children of the Revolution" (Although one of "Elephant [Melody]" proportions) that writes fanfiction "Because We Can". "Come What May", but please do not sue me or I will be a "Sad Hindi Diamond". May this be "Your Song" and may you say "Some Day I'll Fly Away"! (I do not own the songs used in this story or in the titles of the chapters either.)

*A Bohemian Storm Is Brewing*

Truth * Beauty * Freedom * Love

~Casidy

§=Þ

~*~

"Quoi Qu'il Arrive"

~ Part IXX: I Wanna Be Where You Are ~
By Casidy

~*~

All Satine could see when she awoke was bright light. Her lungs were clear and she took a deep breath without even a burning in her chest. She could smell, however, much more. It was sweet, warm and delicious. Whatever it was, she wanted some.

Blinking a few times, she put her hand over her eyes, shielding them from the light coming through the lace curtains. She placed a kiss on Christian's chest where her head had been, then rolled over and sat up. She padded over to the closet and dressed quickly while listening to the soft singing of her little bird.

Downstairs she found a woman she'd never met pulling a pan out of the oven.
"Hello?" Satine asked, trying to get the woman's attention.

The woman jumped slightly and almost lost her hold on the pan. Turning around she smiled brightly at Satine. The top of the woman's head came up to about Satine's nose. She had graying red hair and an old apron tied around her portly waist. She looked friendly and very much a motherly figure.

"Well good mornin' Sugar. My name's Julie, I'm the cook. I must say, I wasn't expectin' ya' outa bed. Daphne said you were feeling quite sickly."

Satine smiled warmly at the older woman, "I'm feeling much better now. My name is Satine, it's nice to meet you. I'm afraid I haven't been properly introduced to everyone yet. What are you making? It smells wonderful!"

"Cinnamon rolls. Would you like one, Sugar?" Julie asked holding her pan underneath Satine's nose, temptingly.

"Oh yes please! I'd love one."

~*~

In his sleep Christian reached his arm out, unknowingly reaching for his wife. When his arm met with a cold pillow he awoke with a start. It only took a moment for him to realize what had pulled him from the depths of sleep. Leaping off the bed he pulled on a pair of pants from off the floor and grabbed a discarded shirt from a nearby chair. Where was she? Had she slipped away in the night? Could he have lost her without even knowing it?


Bolting out of the room and down the stairs he came to a skidding halt, nearly crashing into a young maid.

"Where's Satine?" He asked in a rush, "Have you seen my wife?"

The maid stared at Christian wide-eyed and had to think a moment before she could answer. It was not everyday the young girl found her self in the arms of a man as handsome as Master Christian, for although he had not realized that he had grabbed hold of the girl's shoulders, she most certainly had. "I believe she is having breakfast, sir, in the kitchen."

Without another word he ran toward the kitchen and burst through the door, finding Satine sitting at the long wooden table pulling apart a cinnamon roll.

Jumping at the noise the door made as it hit the wall, Satine looked up and smiled at Christian. "Darling, you must try this. It's absolutely delicious!"

He did not waste a moment in walking toward her and pulling her up off the chair. Before Satine knew what was happening Christian had pulled her against him and was kissing her thoroughly. It was so deep and impassioned that Satine's toes began to curl.

Much later, when he had pulled back, Satine opened her eyes to look up at him. "Not that I'm complaining, of course, but what was that for?"

Christian pulled her even closer against him, "When I woke up and you weren't there beside me I thought, maybe I'd lost you somehow. That something had happened to you during the night."

Satine could not imagine the terror he must have felt at thinking she had died during the night. All she could do was try to reassure him. "Christian, last night was just a spell, I've been coughing for as long as you've known me. It didn't just start last night. I've been sick for some time."

Christian could not make sense of his words for a moment. How could she just pretend that she was alright after what had happened last night? He had thought he was going to lose her forever. "But Satine, the doctor said-"

"Do you remember the first time you came to the Moulin? When I fell off the trapeze and Chocolat caught me?" Satine asked, interrupting him.

He felt sick for a moment at the thought and could only nod.

"And the morning you wrote Come What May? I told you I'd been sick and that was why I didn't come the night before. I was sick all along Christian. I would have a little episode and then I'd be fine and that's all that happened last night. I'm fine Christian…I'll be fine." She tried to put on her best act but it was no use with Christian. She couldn't pretend with him, he saw right through her brave façade. He knew that not too far under the surface she was terrified, and that she needed him.

Satine's breath caught on a whisper of a cough but she stifled it and began to sing, softly,

Oh, what I'd give for one hundred years,
But the physical interferes, everyday more.

Satine looked up to the ceiling for answers and continued singing,

Oh, my creator,
What is the good of the strongest heart,
In a body that's falling apart?
A serious flaw, I hope you know that.

Christian felt as if he were invading on something. It was almost as if Satine had forgotten he was standing there and was speaking to the heavens instead of him. When she had stopped he began walking toward her and placed his hands gently around her tiny waist and sang.

You're little body's slowly breaking down,
You're loosing speed, you're loosing strength, but not style!
That goes on flourishing forever.
But your eyes, your smile,
Do not have the sparkle of your fantastic past.

Christian placed a finger under her chin, drawing her gaze up to meet his. He forced down the tears he so desperately wanted to shed and as calmly as he could he sang,

If you climb one more mountain, it could be your last.

Satine felt a bit dizzy and did not physically protest when Christian began to lead her upstairs, although she continued to sing,

I'm not that ill,
Bad moments come, but they go.
Some days are fine, some a little bit harder.
But that doesn't mean we should give up or our dream.
Have you ever seen me defeated?

Christian had eased Satine down onto the bed and was pulling the covers up when she tugged on Christian's sleeve stopping him, and sang,

Don't you forget what I've been through,
And yet, I'm still standing.

He looked down at her pale face and felt the tears he had tried so hard to hide from her.

Satine, you're dying.

The words had not been something she was prepared to hear. The room was flooded in silence for what seemed like an eternity until Satine finally found the courage to sing,

So what happens now?
Where am I going to?

What could he tell her? He placed a kiss in her hair, blinking away the tears,

Don't ask anymore.

Christian turned to leave the room, quietly closing the door behind him.

When he had left Satine's eyes flew around the room trying to find something to focus on that would stop her tears. Christian's typewriter, the book of poetry he had given her for Christmas, but nothing could keep her tears at bay any longer.

Where do we go from here?
This isn't where we intended to be.

She closed her eyes, remembering so easily how they would sneak away under the excuse of practicing for Spectacular! Spectacular! only to spend the entire day in each other's arms.

We had it all,
You believed in me.
I believed in you.

The memory faded slowly and she opened her eyes, finding herself alone in the room.

Certainties disappear.
What do we do for our dream to survive?
How do we keep all our passions alive, as we used to do?

She felt as if she wanted to tell him everything she could, make sure he knew she loved him. So he would always remember.

Deep in my heart I'm concealing,
Things that I'm longing to say.

He had been so wonderful to her, so gentle and loving. How could she ever go on if she lost him? She must look hideous, even now. Her beauty would mean nothing as she became more and more sick.

Scared to confess what I'm feeling.
Frightened you'll slip away.

No, Christian didn't care about such things, he loved her! What they had was stronger than anything the world could throw at them! Hadn't they already proven that? They had over come so much. Come what may. They loved each other.

You must love me.
You must love me.

He would never leave her. He was there for her like no one else ever had been. How could love that strong exist?

Why are you at my side?
How can I be any use to you now?
Give me a chance and I'll let you see how,
Nothing has changed.

She could only hope that he would never leave her. If he did than she would have nothing to live for and she would be better off dead. Christian was her only reason to fight and because of him she could never give up.

Deep in my heart I'm concealing,
Things that I'm longing to say.
Scared to confess what I'm feeling.
Frightened you'll slip away.
You must love me.
You must love me.
You must love me.

Outside Satine's door, Christian stood leaning against the doorframe. After he had closed the door he had stayed, simply wanting to hear the reassurance of her breath. He had not been surprised when she began to sing but the words and her weak tone had stopped him from walking away. Leaning his forehead against the door he let the tears fall that he had been holding back for Satine's sake. What would he ever do without her?

~*~


* "Waltz for Eva and Che" is from the movie/musical "Evita"
* "Your Little Body Is Slowly Breaking Down" is from the movie/musical "Evita"
* "You Must Love Me" is from the movie "Evita"