Okay, people. This is 'lucky' chapter 18. Just for you to know, this
chapter was a real pain in the ass. I was asked to do a sort of matrix one-
on-one fight thing, and I spent a very, very, very long time trying to
figure out WHAT that was supposed to mean. Slowly, well, very very slowly,
I got ideas based on the matrix movie, and then I mixed them up with an X-
Men point of view, and in result, I got this chapter.
For the fighting, I like putting all the description and all, but still, tell me if it's a little weird. For those who want to know, all the fighting is based from the matrix movie, a big part from the section where Neo fights Morpheus 'for fun' in the stimulation program thingy.
And for Wildwolvie, THANK YOU for your suggestion. :)
When I did the chapter when he fought with the daggers, I just put them in there because I liked the idea, but it made me spend, like, a lot of time trying to figure out what I could make his mutation be. Now that was stupid, but I finally figured it all out . . . Sort of . . .
I don't know if this chapter will be what you would have expected it to be, and I don't know if you'll find it that super great, but still, I have hope that you will like it. *Cross my fingers, get on me knees and pray*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 18:
Very slowly, Nathan was able to open his eyes.
All he could see was darkness and all he could feel was a freezing chilliness in his whole body. His eyes adjusted to the dark and gradually, his senses were revived. He moved his hands, feeling that he was lying on a cold, wet and hard surface. He looked up, and saw that he was lying on the pavement, in the middle of an alley, between two big buildings that looked like warehouses. He immediately recognized the place as a dock of some sort. He got to his feet, feeling extremely heavy, as if he had been given drugs. He wobbled up to the nearest wall and leaned on it, not being able to support his weight very well. His head was turning, and he couldn't make out anything further than the building he was leaning on. Suddenly, he jolted forwards, a strange nervousness taking over him. How had he got here?
He thought of the school, remembered being on the roof, Scott coming to get him, arriving in the med lab, sitting on the table, but after that, it was just a blur. He panicked.
The fist possible reason of his being there was that 'The voice' had taken over him again. The thought of that part of himself made him shiver as he rubbed his eyes, trying to regain focus. Once he had, he started walking down the alley. He turned many corners and walked through many paths but strangely, he didn't seem to get very far.
After a while, he arrived near the water, and sat near a boat, feeling dizzy again. A harsh laugh brought him back to his senses.
His eyes closed, he felt something change again, as if the air was sucking him in.
He opened his eyes and nearly yelled in surprise. He wasn't at the docks anymore.
He was in his very mind.
~
All was black, except for a faint glow in front of him. Uncertainly, he made a step forward, and jumped as all his surroundings changed, as if his pace had made him walk much further than the length of his step. He was now surrounded by the light he had seen, so far away before, and now so close. He could see that this glow was in fact some sort of a fireplace, in which he could see, a fire, but no ordinary combustion. It was as if his thoughts were reflected in those flames. He could see Max, the Professor, Logan, and many other people from the school. It was the people he considered as his family. Suddenly, the fire changed, and the image of his mother and father appeared. Unexpectedly, he felt all confused, wondering who he should call his family.
"Choices build the path of your life," a cold voice said behind him, sending a shiver down his spine.
Nathan turned around and his jaw dropped as he saw . . . himself. This self of his was walking towards him, smiling in an unkind way. He had the same build, the same face, but something was just plain different. There was something . . . abnormal about this 'self' of his. This self was like him when the voice took over him.
"Yes, I'm the one who's been talking to you," this 'self' said, smiling wickedly.
Nathan frowned.
"You're the voice in my head!" he exclaimed.
The character smiled weakly.
"I'm your conscience," this person said.
Nathan looked at this self, wanting to know more.
"I'm the one who shows you your options, and lets you decide what you want. I'm your sense of right and wrong, your principles, I, Nathan, am you."
Nathan blinked and looked at this 'self' of his with what maybe some people would have described as fear.
~So who am I?~ he thought.
"You," the 'self' said, as if he could read his mind. "Are a sense, contradicting mine. I, am not just your conscience, I am also your contrary."
Nathan turned to face him fully, ignoring the fire.
"I say no, you say yes, I say right, you say wrong," the self continued. "Like this, I make you choose what you want, but now, you are refusing to say 'yes', when I say 'no'."
Nathan made a little step forward, visibly interested.
"For the first time, you don't know what to do, you don't know what to choose," the self continued.
The self made a movement towards the fire and Nathan looked in it. In the flames, he could see himself, when he was in coma, then his getaway and writing his letter to his parents.
"The truth is that I always wanted you to become a mutant," the conscience said. "I told you that you were going to be it, and that you were going to accept it, but you, said no."
The conscience paused, visibly enjoying seeing Nathan question his own thoughts.
"You are bringing in your own destruction, by not accepting the facts," the self continued. "You don't accept that your parents don't like you anymore, you don't accept things that don't need logic to understand, you don't accept . . . that you are what, and who, you are."
Nathan tried to speak, to object, but no words came out.
"I, Nathan, want you to let me do the decisions," the self said, turning around him. "Stop combating me, you know it's a hopeless battle you're fighting. You can't fight yourself."
"But I may not like the decisions you make," Nathan objected. "When I let you take over me, you do terrible things!"
"Terrible, but great," the self said, smiling evilly. "I am the part of yourself that hates humanity for what it has done to you, to us, to our kind. I am the part of you that is supposed to dominate you."
"I don't want you to make decisions," Nathan threw with furry. "I don't want you to make me doubt what I know! I want you to leave me alone! I, am myself, and make my own decisions."
Nathan's conscience walked closer, his evil smile fading away.
"No," he said in the coldest voice Nathan had ever heard. "Without me, you don't have choices, and thus, does not have to make any decisions. Why can't you see what I want? I want to revenge all those mutants out there, persecuted by humanity, rejected for what they are!"
Nathan grabbed his head, confused with his own thoughts.
"But I also want revenge," he said, making his conscience smile with satisfaction. "I . . . I just don't want it like you."
"That is why I do not want you to interfere with my affairs," the self said, a dagger appearing through his right wrist. "Just make it easy for ourselves, and let me do the choices."
Nathan's eyes filled themselves with furry.
"They, those people in the fire, they never considered you as a part of their family, so why should you? They don't care," the conscience continued, turning the dagger in his hands. "But I care, Nathan. I care for you. If I care for you, tell me, would I harm you? I am doing this for your best."
"You are myself," Nathan said, hate dripping in each of his words. "You can't care for me, you just want it your way. I will never allow you to make my choices."
At that, Nathan's wrist opened and a dagger appeared in his hand. He swished it towards his conscience, why backed away quickly, but received a large cut in his neck. A filet of blood started to drip from the gash.
"Fine," the self said, in the same extremely cold voice. "So be it."
Suddenly, Nathan saw him raise his palms, directing them towards him. Reflex brought him to cover his face with his arms, closing his eyes. He felt the air sucking him again, except that this time in was excruciatingly painful. Minutes passed and when the pain was gone, he opened his eyes, to see that he was at the docks again.
"He left me alone?" he muttered to himself, seeing no one around and not feeling a headache.
A great joy got over him as he smiled, so happy of finally not having to worry about his voice getting him again. He felt free. He started walking, light-hearted, but his expression changed as he saw that he wasn't wearing the same clothes. If was like he was wearing bran new clothes: a long white trench coat, a baggy pair of black pants with multiple pockets, a new white shirt . . .
"Wait a minute," he thought, frowning. "I got rid of him?" he told himself "Or did he get rid of me?"
Thoughts zoomed in and out of his head as he started walking faster. He took many different paths, and finally ended up in a little clearing, which seemed to be the middle of the docks, surrounded by other storehouses and depots.
He walked around, now really asking himself if he was really rid of his other self.
"Nathan?" he heard a voice say behind him.
He turned around quickly and saw Scott standing there, in what looked to be a leather uniform of some sort. Nate could see Max's figure standing right behind him.
He was about to say something to show him that he was himself again, when suddenly, the sound of some sort of metal object was heard and both Scott and Max ducked to the floor. Nathan heard Cyclops yell in pain as this object hit his side. Nathan made a few steps forward, ready to go help his friend, when an invisible force held him back. This force started bragging him away from his friends, up to the middle of the area. He looked around, wondering what was going on.
"You didn't think I would give up that easily," a voice whispered in his head.
Nathan turned violently on himself, looking for someone that wasn't even there.
"Why are you doing this to me?" he shouted.
"Nathan, you are bringing this on you. I. Am. You." the voice continued.
Nathan looked towards his friends again, seeing Scott on the ground, blood all over his left side.
"Pitiful, no?" he heard the same voice say, this time out of his head.
Nate turned and saw him there, his second self standing not too far away, leaning on one of the nearby crates. He was wearing the same clothes as him, except that his clothes were all black.
"This is real?" Nathan whispered, looking with fascination at this person who looked so much like him.
"You are the one bringing me here, Nate," the conscience said. "You chose the hard way to let me win. Its time to finish this."
Nathan looked at himself, seeing his 'conscience' walk forwards. Before he knew it, he was catching the dagger thrown towards him.
"How can I have daggers coming out of my forearms?" he asked to his conscience, the one who had thrown the dagger.
"You only have to believe it's there," the conscience said maliciously. "These daggers are the weapons of your mind."
At this, Nathan saw his self 's wrist open and another dagger get in his hand. It was thrown to him, and with a reflex, Nathan ducked sideways, throwing the dagger he was holding.
This self arrived in front of him, having already moved after throwing his weapon. Nathan was caught off guard as his self tripped him over, making him fall on his back to the pavement with a thud. He saw his enemy above him, getting another knife from his wrist, and he just had time to move as it logged itself into the cement, where his chest had been. He jumped to his feet, holding the arm of his self and twisting it behind his back. This way, he couldn't move and Nathan had the chance to give him a blow in the stomach. With his vacant hand, the self grabbed Nathan at the neck, making him lose his breath and this way getting back the use of his other arm. Nate grabbed the hand that was chocking him, but saw that it was useless to try to push it away, so he high kicked his opponent at the knee, then since he had bend down because of the pain, kicked him in the face with his knee.
His adversary staged back, one hand over his face. When he looked up, Nate saw that he had most probably broken his nose, even though there was not much blood. His good nature kept Nathan from taking this opportunity to get him while he was still under the shock of the blow, and so he waited a few feet away, for his opponent to get his wits back. He looked at his self for a moment, then turned to see if Scott and Max were still down. The time he took to turn and locate his friends, his self had got back up and had created another dagger. Nathan sensed this and ducked, turned around quickly and grabbed his arm, twisting it again. His enemy had guessed that and punched him in the jaw with his available hand, making him stag back. Before he could react, his foe had given Nathan another 'palm-punch' in the face that had made him stag back to the floor. He quickly got back to his feet growling. He looked up, seeing his conscience smiling wickedly.
~~~~~
"This way," Jean said, turning around another depot.
A little weird grunt was heard behind her and she turned around to see what was Logan's problem now. She saw him looking at his hands, that weren't bleeding anymore.
"Looks like we got our mutations back," he growled, unsheathing his claws.
"Good!" Jean exclaimed. "I can track Scott's brainwaves now."
The X-Men followed her as she started walking again.
"He's over here," Jean continued, making sure everyone was behind her.
They walked around a few stock houses and ended up in a small area that seemed to be the centre of the docks. It was a total wreck, where boxes, crates, boat equipment and other things were pilled up in a very rough way. Jean let out a little yelp as she ran towards a rather large pile of crates.
"Scott!" She screamed, seeing her fiancé bleeding badly.
The others joined around him, seeing that he was badly injured, and was in desperate need of a doctor. His whole right side was literally bathing in blood. Max was trying to support him.
Jean immediately started checking on him, as he opened his eyes lightly. He saw Jean, turned his head, saw the others. He tried to speak, but no words came out of his mouth. Slowly, he raised a finger and pointed in front of him. They all looked in the direction he was indicating.
Their jaws dropped, seeing not just Nathan, but also the person they had fought back at the school.
~~~~~
The conscience spotted all the X-Men looking at them at the same time Nathan did. The only difference in the way they looked at them was that Nathan looked at them with distress and anxiety, and the self looked at them with a mocking smile on his face.
~
"What's going on?" Jubilee asked the others, staring at the two people.
"I have absolutely no idea," Jean said slowly without taking her eyes of the two Nathans.
The Nathan they had fought, the one dressed in black, made a few steps forwards.
"Do you believe in what you are seeing?" he asked in a loud voice.
The X-Men stared at him, not knowing what he meant. He just smiled.
"Perfect," he whispered, turning back to Nathan, who also didn't have a clue of what he was saying.
Before Nathan could do anything to stop him, another sword had come out of his wrist and was now flying towards his friends. Jubilee moved just in time to avoid it as it logged itself in the crate behind her.
"Why did you do that?" Nathan yelled, still under the shock of knowing that his conscience had nearly killed someone. "What was that for?"
The self smiled.
"I believe you know I want to kill you," he said, walking to him again. "I am you, and yet so different at the same time. Why would *I* protect you friends?"
At that, they started fighting again.
His enemy went to punch him, but Nathan blocked him with his forearms, giving him a side thrust at the same time.
Nathan knew fighting like this wouldn't bring them very far, and so he started using his martial art training.
He made a backward flip, hitting his opponent in the face as hard as he could. He turned around, his foot in the air, wanting to make it hit right above his neck, but his self bent down to avoid the hit. He grabbed his foot and made it twist, forcing Nathan to let himself fall to the ground if he didn't want to end up with a broken leg. Again, Nathan tried to hit him with his leg, using his judo movements, but always being blocked by his opponent's forearms. He tried a punch but it was also blocked, centimetres to his face. They both tried knocking themselves to the ground at the same time, resulting that they both ducked and made their legs hit, just before they both took a kung fu position, taking their breath.
"Why . . . are you here?" Nathan asked, his heart beating fast as he tried to get his breath back. "Why are you fighting me, if you are myself?"
"You were looking for an answer, Nathan," the self said, staying in his martial arts position. "It's your question that brought you here. That brought me here."
"What is my question?" Nathan asked.
The self smiled, still trying to catch his breath as eh shook his head negatively, indicating him that he wasn't going to tell.
"You cannot tell yourself who you are," he said. "You have to discover it for yourself. Now fight."
The self made a movement forwards, kicking Nathan in the stomach while he was off guard, trying to understand fully the meaning of what he had just said.
Nathan growled as he made a step forward, blocked his second hit, jumped to the floor and made him trip by passing his leg behind his. His self, in stead of falling to the ground, pushed his hands on the ground making him flip backwards so he wouldn't fall on his back and he exposed to receive a hit.
Without Nathan noticing, he formed some sort of Chinese metal 'star' in his hand. When he had the opportunity, he threw it towards the X-Men, who still hadn't got over the fact that there were two of them.
The little metal object flew towards them, and it was Logan who received it in the shoulder. With a feral growl, he took it out of his skin, ignoring the deep wound he had, going as deep as his adamantium-covered bone let it go. His healing power did the rest of the job.
He made a movement forwards with Iceman, but they stopped seeing the two Nathan stop fighting at their approach. They both looked evilly at them.
"Stay out of this!" Nathan yelled savagely, fists joined, ready to hit his opponent again.
To approve his point, his self made some sort of movement and they were both pushed back with force. The two X-Men collided with the warehouse wall behind them and they fell to the floor with a gigantic thud.
"We can't walk to them," Jean said, feeling that there was some sort of invisible force keeping them back.
They could only watch as the two started fighting again, Nathan leaning on to the floor, on his arm, double kicked his opponent in the ribs, making him stag back, just to receive another punch.
"They're going to kill each other!" Kitty exclaimed, seeing Nathan cough up blood.
"Jean!" Max said.
As she turned around, she saw he was pointing at her right. She turned and saw Pyro, running towards them, bruised and battered, his uniform covered with cuts and scars. He was panting. Giving barely more than a glance at Nathan and his self, he ran to the X-Men.
"There . . . there . . . he's not fighting anyone," he arrived to say, in desperate need for air.
"Wow, pal," Jubilee said, patting his back "Breathe, dude."
He pointed at Nathan.
"The other one like him . . ." he said slowly. "He's not real."
The looked at him, then at Nathan and his self, both bruised and bleeding.
"It's his mutation," Pyro said, holding his stomach, trying to get more air into his lungs.
Suddenly, Nathan's conscience stopped fighting and turned to the X-Men, looking at them evilly with his amethyst eyes. His glare stopped on Pyro as he growled with fury.
Before Nathan could stop him again, he walked towards the X-Men, something about him making them all back up; all except Pyro, who just stayed where he was, breathing deeply.
Nathan looked hostilely at him.
"Will a knife through your throat prove you that I'm as real as your lack of air?" He said hostilely, pulling out a knife from his wrist.
"I don't believe so," Pyro said, getting up. "I simply don't believe."
Suddenly, Nathan's conscience looked interested as he smiled nastily.
"Oh, trust me, I'll make you believe," he said, walking back to Nathan who was now trying to reach the X-Men.
"It's not finished," he added, as Nathan blocked the punch he had directed to him.
They started fighting again, but this time much closer to the X-Men, Jean tried to use her power on them, but the force around them was still protecting them.
A knife came flying towards her as she ducked to the side. The object burned into the wall, disappearing into thin air.
"Jean," Pyro called out. "Believe there is no weapon."
"What?" she asked, keeping an eye on both Nathans' evolution in their fight.
"It's his mutation," Pyro said again. "You have to believe there is no weapon."
"Pyro, what are you talking about!" she yelled above all the noise.
"The knives! The other Nathan! There not there!"
The X-Men just stared as another knife came flying at them, this one missing Max by an inch.
~~~
The conscience kept fighting Nathan, who was beginning to loose the advantage of the fight. He was losing confidence, beginning to wonder . . . There was only the will of staying himself that kept him going, kept him from abandoning, of taking the hits one after the other.
His conscience threw another knife, that disappeared after having missed Ororo by mere centimetres.
"Don't hurt them!" Nathan shouted with anger.
"You want to know why you, -well-, I am trying to hurt them?" the self said, not without stopping the fight. "Because you, and so I, don't like mutants. You don't like being one."
Nathan punched him in the jaw, but still he went on.
"You have the look of a man that accepts what he sees, because he expects to wake up," the self said with the same mocking smile.
"It's only reality," he said, blocking another hit. "Face it."
Nathan paused, barely feeling the stinging pain he felt from the wounds he had received.
~~~
Jean was thinking about a way to stop this self from killing Nathan. He was visibly loosing the battle, occupied in trying to understand what his opponent was saying to him.
"Okay," she said finally. "Pyro, you said the knives weren't real, what does that mean?"
"Well, they're not real," he said, moving his arms. "We have to believe that there not there, and we won't get hurt."
"Okay, show us then," Jubilee said, mocking him. "Place yourself in his way and we'll see if those daggers are real or not. Maybe they'll only give you 'fake' pain."
"Jubs, you're an idiot," Pyro said making only one step towards Nathan's self. "It's more difficult than you think."
A yell was heard as they saw Nathan fall to the ground, his Self holding a bloodstained weapon in his hands.
They were very close from the two opponents, and once Nathan was down, his lookalike walked towards them, more precisely towards Rogue, who had been a little further away from the group, since they had found Scott.
Nathan got back to his feet, a large wound on the side of his chest. He made a few shaky steps forward, forming a dagger in his hand. His eyes widened in fear as he saw what his conscience intended to do.
He wobbled as fast as he could up to him, seeing that he was heading for Rogue. He saw himself pull out a gun from inside his cloak and a white painful fright filled his mind as he saw him direct the revolver towards Rogue.
Before he knew what he was going, he had placed himself between his self and Rogue. Nathan looked into the cruel amethyst eyes of his enemy, as he heard the gun fire.
Nathan's body went numb as he began to feel blood in his mouth. He looked down, saw the red whole in his white shirt. He looked at his hand, saw the dagger. With one last look into his enemy's eyes, and assembling all the energy he had left, he plunged it in front of him, into his conscience's heart.
The conscience tried to speak, as the X-Men just stared in horror.
"You're mind makes it real," he whispered into Nathan's ear.
They both looked at each other, an undefined look in their eyes. Slowly, the conscience, the daggers, slowly disappeared, melting into Nathan again, and strangely, the boy was taking a mix of appearances. He looked more like his conscience, and yet was still himself.
Once they had disappeared, Nathan couldn't feel his heart beat.
With one last look at those he knew were his family, he fell to the ground, a puddle of blood forming around his lifeless form.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OoOoOoOoOo . . .
No, it's not over, don't worry.
I never really saw how my fic was a bit similar to the Matrix! Like Neo, Nate is a criminal 'at home', then when Neo gets into the matrix and he doesn't believe it at first, it's like when Nate becomes a mutant and doesn't believe it . . .
I really really really really really hope you liked this chapter and please please please please review to tell me what you think.
Don't worry if you haven't figured out Nate's mutation yet. It's normal. I'll clear everything up in the next chapter :p
:)
For the fighting, I like putting all the description and all, but still, tell me if it's a little weird. For those who want to know, all the fighting is based from the matrix movie, a big part from the section where Neo fights Morpheus 'for fun' in the stimulation program thingy.
And for Wildwolvie, THANK YOU for your suggestion. :)
When I did the chapter when he fought with the daggers, I just put them in there because I liked the idea, but it made me spend, like, a lot of time trying to figure out what I could make his mutation be. Now that was stupid, but I finally figured it all out . . . Sort of . . .
I don't know if this chapter will be what you would have expected it to be, and I don't know if you'll find it that super great, but still, I have hope that you will like it. *Cross my fingers, get on me knees and pray*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 18:
Very slowly, Nathan was able to open his eyes.
All he could see was darkness and all he could feel was a freezing chilliness in his whole body. His eyes adjusted to the dark and gradually, his senses were revived. He moved his hands, feeling that he was lying on a cold, wet and hard surface. He looked up, and saw that he was lying on the pavement, in the middle of an alley, between two big buildings that looked like warehouses. He immediately recognized the place as a dock of some sort. He got to his feet, feeling extremely heavy, as if he had been given drugs. He wobbled up to the nearest wall and leaned on it, not being able to support his weight very well. His head was turning, and he couldn't make out anything further than the building he was leaning on. Suddenly, he jolted forwards, a strange nervousness taking over him. How had he got here?
He thought of the school, remembered being on the roof, Scott coming to get him, arriving in the med lab, sitting on the table, but after that, it was just a blur. He panicked.
The fist possible reason of his being there was that 'The voice' had taken over him again. The thought of that part of himself made him shiver as he rubbed his eyes, trying to regain focus. Once he had, he started walking down the alley. He turned many corners and walked through many paths but strangely, he didn't seem to get very far.
After a while, he arrived near the water, and sat near a boat, feeling dizzy again. A harsh laugh brought him back to his senses.
His eyes closed, he felt something change again, as if the air was sucking him in.
He opened his eyes and nearly yelled in surprise. He wasn't at the docks anymore.
He was in his very mind.
~
All was black, except for a faint glow in front of him. Uncertainly, he made a step forward, and jumped as all his surroundings changed, as if his pace had made him walk much further than the length of his step. He was now surrounded by the light he had seen, so far away before, and now so close. He could see that this glow was in fact some sort of a fireplace, in which he could see, a fire, but no ordinary combustion. It was as if his thoughts were reflected in those flames. He could see Max, the Professor, Logan, and many other people from the school. It was the people he considered as his family. Suddenly, the fire changed, and the image of his mother and father appeared. Unexpectedly, he felt all confused, wondering who he should call his family.
"Choices build the path of your life," a cold voice said behind him, sending a shiver down his spine.
Nathan turned around and his jaw dropped as he saw . . . himself. This self of his was walking towards him, smiling in an unkind way. He had the same build, the same face, but something was just plain different. There was something . . . abnormal about this 'self' of his. This self was like him when the voice took over him.
"Yes, I'm the one who's been talking to you," this 'self' said, smiling wickedly.
Nathan frowned.
"You're the voice in my head!" he exclaimed.
The character smiled weakly.
"I'm your conscience," this person said.
Nathan looked at this self, wanting to know more.
"I'm the one who shows you your options, and lets you decide what you want. I'm your sense of right and wrong, your principles, I, Nathan, am you."
Nathan blinked and looked at this 'self' of his with what maybe some people would have described as fear.
~So who am I?~ he thought.
"You," the 'self' said, as if he could read his mind. "Are a sense, contradicting mine. I, am not just your conscience, I am also your contrary."
Nathan turned to face him fully, ignoring the fire.
"I say no, you say yes, I say right, you say wrong," the self continued. "Like this, I make you choose what you want, but now, you are refusing to say 'yes', when I say 'no'."
Nathan made a little step forward, visibly interested.
"For the first time, you don't know what to do, you don't know what to choose," the self continued.
The self made a movement towards the fire and Nathan looked in it. In the flames, he could see himself, when he was in coma, then his getaway and writing his letter to his parents.
"The truth is that I always wanted you to become a mutant," the conscience said. "I told you that you were going to be it, and that you were going to accept it, but you, said no."
The conscience paused, visibly enjoying seeing Nathan question his own thoughts.
"You are bringing in your own destruction, by not accepting the facts," the self continued. "You don't accept that your parents don't like you anymore, you don't accept things that don't need logic to understand, you don't accept . . . that you are what, and who, you are."
Nathan tried to speak, to object, but no words came out.
"I, Nathan, want you to let me do the decisions," the self said, turning around him. "Stop combating me, you know it's a hopeless battle you're fighting. You can't fight yourself."
"But I may not like the decisions you make," Nathan objected. "When I let you take over me, you do terrible things!"
"Terrible, but great," the self said, smiling evilly. "I am the part of yourself that hates humanity for what it has done to you, to us, to our kind. I am the part of you that is supposed to dominate you."
"I don't want you to make decisions," Nathan threw with furry. "I don't want you to make me doubt what I know! I want you to leave me alone! I, am myself, and make my own decisions."
Nathan's conscience walked closer, his evil smile fading away.
"No," he said in the coldest voice Nathan had ever heard. "Without me, you don't have choices, and thus, does not have to make any decisions. Why can't you see what I want? I want to revenge all those mutants out there, persecuted by humanity, rejected for what they are!"
Nathan grabbed his head, confused with his own thoughts.
"But I also want revenge," he said, making his conscience smile with satisfaction. "I . . . I just don't want it like you."
"That is why I do not want you to interfere with my affairs," the self said, a dagger appearing through his right wrist. "Just make it easy for ourselves, and let me do the choices."
Nathan's eyes filled themselves with furry.
"They, those people in the fire, they never considered you as a part of their family, so why should you? They don't care," the conscience continued, turning the dagger in his hands. "But I care, Nathan. I care for you. If I care for you, tell me, would I harm you? I am doing this for your best."
"You are myself," Nathan said, hate dripping in each of his words. "You can't care for me, you just want it your way. I will never allow you to make my choices."
At that, Nathan's wrist opened and a dagger appeared in his hand. He swished it towards his conscience, why backed away quickly, but received a large cut in his neck. A filet of blood started to drip from the gash.
"Fine," the self said, in the same extremely cold voice. "So be it."
Suddenly, Nathan saw him raise his palms, directing them towards him. Reflex brought him to cover his face with his arms, closing his eyes. He felt the air sucking him again, except that this time in was excruciatingly painful. Minutes passed and when the pain was gone, he opened his eyes, to see that he was at the docks again.
"He left me alone?" he muttered to himself, seeing no one around and not feeling a headache.
A great joy got over him as he smiled, so happy of finally not having to worry about his voice getting him again. He felt free. He started walking, light-hearted, but his expression changed as he saw that he wasn't wearing the same clothes. If was like he was wearing bran new clothes: a long white trench coat, a baggy pair of black pants with multiple pockets, a new white shirt . . .
"Wait a minute," he thought, frowning. "I got rid of him?" he told himself "Or did he get rid of me?"
Thoughts zoomed in and out of his head as he started walking faster. He took many different paths, and finally ended up in a little clearing, which seemed to be the middle of the docks, surrounded by other storehouses and depots.
He walked around, now really asking himself if he was really rid of his other self.
"Nathan?" he heard a voice say behind him.
He turned around quickly and saw Scott standing there, in what looked to be a leather uniform of some sort. Nate could see Max's figure standing right behind him.
He was about to say something to show him that he was himself again, when suddenly, the sound of some sort of metal object was heard and both Scott and Max ducked to the floor. Nathan heard Cyclops yell in pain as this object hit his side. Nathan made a few steps forward, ready to go help his friend, when an invisible force held him back. This force started bragging him away from his friends, up to the middle of the area. He looked around, wondering what was going on.
"You didn't think I would give up that easily," a voice whispered in his head.
Nathan turned violently on himself, looking for someone that wasn't even there.
"Why are you doing this to me?" he shouted.
"Nathan, you are bringing this on you. I. Am. You." the voice continued.
Nathan looked towards his friends again, seeing Scott on the ground, blood all over his left side.
"Pitiful, no?" he heard the same voice say, this time out of his head.
Nate turned and saw him there, his second self standing not too far away, leaning on one of the nearby crates. He was wearing the same clothes as him, except that his clothes were all black.
"This is real?" Nathan whispered, looking with fascination at this person who looked so much like him.
"You are the one bringing me here, Nate," the conscience said. "You chose the hard way to let me win. Its time to finish this."
Nathan looked at himself, seeing his 'conscience' walk forwards. Before he knew it, he was catching the dagger thrown towards him.
"How can I have daggers coming out of my forearms?" he asked to his conscience, the one who had thrown the dagger.
"You only have to believe it's there," the conscience said maliciously. "These daggers are the weapons of your mind."
At this, Nathan saw his self 's wrist open and another dagger get in his hand. It was thrown to him, and with a reflex, Nathan ducked sideways, throwing the dagger he was holding.
This self arrived in front of him, having already moved after throwing his weapon. Nathan was caught off guard as his self tripped him over, making him fall on his back to the pavement with a thud. He saw his enemy above him, getting another knife from his wrist, and he just had time to move as it logged itself into the cement, where his chest had been. He jumped to his feet, holding the arm of his self and twisting it behind his back. This way, he couldn't move and Nathan had the chance to give him a blow in the stomach. With his vacant hand, the self grabbed Nathan at the neck, making him lose his breath and this way getting back the use of his other arm. Nate grabbed the hand that was chocking him, but saw that it was useless to try to push it away, so he high kicked his opponent at the knee, then since he had bend down because of the pain, kicked him in the face with his knee.
His adversary staged back, one hand over his face. When he looked up, Nate saw that he had most probably broken his nose, even though there was not much blood. His good nature kept Nathan from taking this opportunity to get him while he was still under the shock of the blow, and so he waited a few feet away, for his opponent to get his wits back. He looked at his self for a moment, then turned to see if Scott and Max were still down. The time he took to turn and locate his friends, his self had got back up and had created another dagger. Nathan sensed this and ducked, turned around quickly and grabbed his arm, twisting it again. His enemy had guessed that and punched him in the jaw with his available hand, making him stag back. Before he could react, his foe had given Nathan another 'palm-punch' in the face that had made him stag back to the floor. He quickly got back to his feet growling. He looked up, seeing his conscience smiling wickedly.
~~~~~
"This way," Jean said, turning around another depot.
A little weird grunt was heard behind her and she turned around to see what was Logan's problem now. She saw him looking at his hands, that weren't bleeding anymore.
"Looks like we got our mutations back," he growled, unsheathing his claws.
"Good!" Jean exclaimed. "I can track Scott's brainwaves now."
The X-Men followed her as she started walking again.
"He's over here," Jean continued, making sure everyone was behind her.
They walked around a few stock houses and ended up in a small area that seemed to be the centre of the docks. It was a total wreck, where boxes, crates, boat equipment and other things were pilled up in a very rough way. Jean let out a little yelp as she ran towards a rather large pile of crates.
"Scott!" She screamed, seeing her fiancé bleeding badly.
The others joined around him, seeing that he was badly injured, and was in desperate need of a doctor. His whole right side was literally bathing in blood. Max was trying to support him.
Jean immediately started checking on him, as he opened his eyes lightly. He saw Jean, turned his head, saw the others. He tried to speak, but no words came out of his mouth. Slowly, he raised a finger and pointed in front of him. They all looked in the direction he was indicating.
Their jaws dropped, seeing not just Nathan, but also the person they had fought back at the school.
~~~~~
The conscience spotted all the X-Men looking at them at the same time Nathan did. The only difference in the way they looked at them was that Nathan looked at them with distress and anxiety, and the self looked at them with a mocking smile on his face.
~
"What's going on?" Jubilee asked the others, staring at the two people.
"I have absolutely no idea," Jean said slowly without taking her eyes of the two Nathans.
The Nathan they had fought, the one dressed in black, made a few steps forwards.
"Do you believe in what you are seeing?" he asked in a loud voice.
The X-Men stared at him, not knowing what he meant. He just smiled.
"Perfect," he whispered, turning back to Nathan, who also didn't have a clue of what he was saying.
Before Nathan could do anything to stop him, another sword had come out of his wrist and was now flying towards his friends. Jubilee moved just in time to avoid it as it logged itself in the crate behind her.
"Why did you do that?" Nathan yelled, still under the shock of knowing that his conscience had nearly killed someone. "What was that for?"
The self smiled.
"I believe you know I want to kill you," he said, walking to him again. "I am you, and yet so different at the same time. Why would *I* protect you friends?"
At that, they started fighting again.
His enemy went to punch him, but Nathan blocked him with his forearms, giving him a side thrust at the same time.
Nathan knew fighting like this wouldn't bring them very far, and so he started using his martial art training.
He made a backward flip, hitting his opponent in the face as hard as he could. He turned around, his foot in the air, wanting to make it hit right above his neck, but his self bent down to avoid the hit. He grabbed his foot and made it twist, forcing Nathan to let himself fall to the ground if he didn't want to end up with a broken leg. Again, Nathan tried to hit him with his leg, using his judo movements, but always being blocked by his opponent's forearms. He tried a punch but it was also blocked, centimetres to his face. They both tried knocking themselves to the ground at the same time, resulting that they both ducked and made their legs hit, just before they both took a kung fu position, taking their breath.
"Why . . . are you here?" Nathan asked, his heart beating fast as he tried to get his breath back. "Why are you fighting me, if you are myself?"
"You were looking for an answer, Nathan," the self said, staying in his martial arts position. "It's your question that brought you here. That brought me here."
"What is my question?" Nathan asked.
The self smiled, still trying to catch his breath as eh shook his head negatively, indicating him that he wasn't going to tell.
"You cannot tell yourself who you are," he said. "You have to discover it for yourself. Now fight."
The self made a movement forwards, kicking Nathan in the stomach while he was off guard, trying to understand fully the meaning of what he had just said.
Nathan growled as he made a step forward, blocked his second hit, jumped to the floor and made him trip by passing his leg behind his. His self, in stead of falling to the ground, pushed his hands on the ground making him flip backwards so he wouldn't fall on his back and he exposed to receive a hit.
Without Nathan noticing, he formed some sort of Chinese metal 'star' in his hand. When he had the opportunity, he threw it towards the X-Men, who still hadn't got over the fact that there were two of them.
The little metal object flew towards them, and it was Logan who received it in the shoulder. With a feral growl, he took it out of his skin, ignoring the deep wound he had, going as deep as his adamantium-covered bone let it go. His healing power did the rest of the job.
He made a movement forwards with Iceman, but they stopped seeing the two Nathan stop fighting at their approach. They both looked evilly at them.
"Stay out of this!" Nathan yelled savagely, fists joined, ready to hit his opponent again.
To approve his point, his self made some sort of movement and they were both pushed back with force. The two X-Men collided with the warehouse wall behind them and they fell to the floor with a gigantic thud.
"We can't walk to them," Jean said, feeling that there was some sort of invisible force keeping them back.
They could only watch as the two started fighting again, Nathan leaning on to the floor, on his arm, double kicked his opponent in the ribs, making him stag back, just to receive another punch.
"They're going to kill each other!" Kitty exclaimed, seeing Nathan cough up blood.
"Jean!" Max said.
As she turned around, she saw he was pointing at her right. She turned and saw Pyro, running towards them, bruised and battered, his uniform covered with cuts and scars. He was panting. Giving barely more than a glance at Nathan and his self, he ran to the X-Men.
"There . . . there . . . he's not fighting anyone," he arrived to say, in desperate need for air.
"Wow, pal," Jubilee said, patting his back "Breathe, dude."
He pointed at Nathan.
"The other one like him . . ." he said slowly. "He's not real."
The looked at him, then at Nathan and his self, both bruised and bleeding.
"It's his mutation," Pyro said, holding his stomach, trying to get more air into his lungs.
Suddenly, Nathan's conscience stopped fighting and turned to the X-Men, looking at them evilly with his amethyst eyes. His glare stopped on Pyro as he growled with fury.
Before Nathan could stop him again, he walked towards the X-Men, something about him making them all back up; all except Pyro, who just stayed where he was, breathing deeply.
Nathan looked hostilely at him.
"Will a knife through your throat prove you that I'm as real as your lack of air?" He said hostilely, pulling out a knife from his wrist.
"I don't believe so," Pyro said, getting up. "I simply don't believe."
Suddenly, Nathan's conscience looked interested as he smiled nastily.
"Oh, trust me, I'll make you believe," he said, walking back to Nathan who was now trying to reach the X-Men.
"It's not finished," he added, as Nathan blocked the punch he had directed to him.
They started fighting again, but this time much closer to the X-Men, Jean tried to use her power on them, but the force around them was still protecting them.
A knife came flying towards her as she ducked to the side. The object burned into the wall, disappearing into thin air.
"Jean," Pyro called out. "Believe there is no weapon."
"What?" she asked, keeping an eye on both Nathans' evolution in their fight.
"It's his mutation," Pyro said again. "You have to believe there is no weapon."
"Pyro, what are you talking about!" she yelled above all the noise.
"The knives! The other Nathan! There not there!"
The X-Men just stared as another knife came flying at them, this one missing Max by an inch.
~~~
The conscience kept fighting Nathan, who was beginning to loose the advantage of the fight. He was losing confidence, beginning to wonder . . . There was only the will of staying himself that kept him going, kept him from abandoning, of taking the hits one after the other.
His conscience threw another knife, that disappeared after having missed Ororo by mere centimetres.
"Don't hurt them!" Nathan shouted with anger.
"You want to know why you, -well-, I am trying to hurt them?" the self said, not without stopping the fight. "Because you, and so I, don't like mutants. You don't like being one."
Nathan punched him in the jaw, but still he went on.
"You have the look of a man that accepts what he sees, because he expects to wake up," the self said with the same mocking smile.
"It's only reality," he said, blocking another hit. "Face it."
Nathan paused, barely feeling the stinging pain he felt from the wounds he had received.
~~~
Jean was thinking about a way to stop this self from killing Nathan. He was visibly loosing the battle, occupied in trying to understand what his opponent was saying to him.
"Okay," she said finally. "Pyro, you said the knives weren't real, what does that mean?"
"Well, they're not real," he said, moving his arms. "We have to believe that there not there, and we won't get hurt."
"Okay, show us then," Jubilee said, mocking him. "Place yourself in his way and we'll see if those daggers are real or not. Maybe they'll only give you 'fake' pain."
"Jubs, you're an idiot," Pyro said making only one step towards Nathan's self. "It's more difficult than you think."
A yell was heard as they saw Nathan fall to the ground, his Self holding a bloodstained weapon in his hands.
They were very close from the two opponents, and once Nathan was down, his lookalike walked towards them, more precisely towards Rogue, who had been a little further away from the group, since they had found Scott.
Nathan got back to his feet, a large wound on the side of his chest. He made a few shaky steps forward, forming a dagger in his hand. His eyes widened in fear as he saw what his conscience intended to do.
He wobbled as fast as he could up to him, seeing that he was heading for Rogue. He saw himself pull out a gun from inside his cloak and a white painful fright filled his mind as he saw him direct the revolver towards Rogue.
Before he knew what he was going, he had placed himself between his self and Rogue. Nathan looked into the cruel amethyst eyes of his enemy, as he heard the gun fire.
Nathan's body went numb as he began to feel blood in his mouth. He looked down, saw the red whole in his white shirt. He looked at his hand, saw the dagger. With one last look into his enemy's eyes, and assembling all the energy he had left, he plunged it in front of him, into his conscience's heart.
The conscience tried to speak, as the X-Men just stared in horror.
"You're mind makes it real," he whispered into Nathan's ear.
They both looked at each other, an undefined look in their eyes. Slowly, the conscience, the daggers, slowly disappeared, melting into Nathan again, and strangely, the boy was taking a mix of appearances. He looked more like his conscience, and yet was still himself.
Once they had disappeared, Nathan couldn't feel his heart beat.
With one last look at those he knew were his family, he fell to the ground, a puddle of blood forming around his lifeless form.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OoOoOoOoOo . . .
No, it's not over, don't worry.
I never really saw how my fic was a bit similar to the Matrix! Like Neo, Nate is a criminal 'at home', then when Neo gets into the matrix and he doesn't believe it at first, it's like when Nate becomes a mutant and doesn't believe it . . .
I really really really really really hope you liked this chapter and please please please please review to tell me what you think.
Don't worry if you haven't figured out Nate's mutation yet. It's normal. I'll clear everything up in the next chapter :p
:)