Author:  aomurasakiai

Warnings:  OOC, TWT, Heero's POV, angst, sap

Pairings:  1+2 / 2+1

Spoilers:  None

Rating:  PG-13

Dedication:  For the best ML out there... 1x2ML!  And everyone on it!!

Song: "If Only Tears Could Bring You Back" by Midnight Sons

Songfic Notes:

[song lyrics]

'thoughts'

"words spoken"

If Only Tears Could Bring You Back To Me [Part 01 of 01]

[How will I start tomorrow without you here?]

[Whose heart will guide me while the answers disappear?]

[Is it too late?  Are you too far gone to stay?]

[Best friends forever should never have to go away.]

Sunshine flooded through the windows into the small bedroom that I shared with Duo.  I squeezed my eyes shut as the sunrays stung them.  I blinked cautiously, trying to adjust to the blinding light.  It took several tries but soon I was up, sitting on my bed.  After rubbing my eyes, I instantly looked up to the other side of the room.  Strange that every morning I would look for that braided boy.  It's the same day after day...  always staring at the way he sleeps...  always longing...  always hoping.  How did I fall into that habit?  How did I fall...  for him?

But I found nobody except for a slightly messy bed.  I thought that it was strange since he never woke up so early.  I checked the time and mentally smacked myself.  It was already past eleven and it was I who was late.  Who would have thought that the so-called "Perfect Soldier" would be late?  I found it quite puzzling that I had awakened so late in the morning.  What had happened?

Deciding to find that out later, I headed to the bathroom.  There, taped on the bathroom mirror, was a note.  My name was scribbled on the half folded piece of paper.  I recognized the sloppy manuscript as Duo's.  With my curiosity piqued, I took the note and opened it.  However, I would have never expected this...

Heero:

          Morning sleepyhead!  Finally got up.  Tsk tsk tsk...  Some Perfect Soldier you are.  You're probably wondering why you're so late, ne?  Extra-strong, sleep-induced (not to mention tasteless) powder mixed with water does that.  Hey, don't look at me like that...  it cured my insomnia at least.  I hope that you aren't mad.  You needed the nice long rest, didn't you?  I only wish that I could have stayed longer to watch you sleep...  But unfortunately things happen and I can't avoid them any longer.  I don't want you to stop me.  I'm going because I have to.  Don't try to find me.

Sayonara

Duo (a.k.a. Shinigami)

My mouth fell open as I dropped the note, which fluttered to the floor.  I couldn't believe what I had just read.

'Why Duo?  Why would you leave me like this?'  I thought to myself.  I squeezed my eyes shut, preventing tears from escaping them.

'Maybe I could still find him...'

'Get a grip, Yuy.  It's too late; he's gone now,' a little voice countered.

'Why did he have to go?  He shouldn't have had to go.  We're friends...  aren't we?'

I didn't want to believe it but maybe...  it wasn't meant to be after all...

"WHY?!"  I screamed and punched the wall hard.  My knuckles started to turn a deep red color as blood rushed near the surface but I didn't care.  All I could think about was 'why'.  My questions were left unanswered.

[What will I do?  You know I'm only half without you.]

[How will I make it through?]

I backed up against the wall and sank down on the cold hardwood floor, my legs no longer supporting my weight.  I felt like I was torn apart... torn in half because Duo is no longer with me.  To live in a reality without the only person who has shown me it and shown me the joys of it really hurts.

'What will I do now?  How will I make it through this?  Duo...  didn't you promise that we'd always be together?  Even though it was only friendship...  was it only that?'  Tears made it past my eyes and now they were making long treks down my cheeks.  I made no effort to stop them.  I couldn't stop them even if I tried.

[If only tears could bring you back to me.]

[If only love could find a way.  (Find a way.)]

[What I would do, what I would give if you]

[Return to me, (you'd return) someday, some how, some way.]

[If my tears could bring you back to me.]

[I'd cried you an ocean, if you would sail on home again.]

'Duo, it was you who taught me how to cry...  Is this what you want, Duo?  To make me feel the sorrow of reality...  Maybe this is what I deserve after treating you so harshly.  But... can my tears bring you back?  If only... I'll cry forever if it is true.  Or do you want my love?  I would do anything.  Just tell me and return.  Please.'  Standing up, I went to my laptop and turned it on.

'I will find you, Duo Maxwell.  You can't stop me.  No one can stop me.  No one.'

[Wings of emotion will carry you and all they can.]

[Just let love guide you and your heart will chart the course.]

[Soon you'll be drifting to the arms of your true north!]

A small smile spread across my face as I read the name "Duo Maxwell" on the screen of my laptop.  It turned out that he was summoned for a mission, a dangerous one with a slim chance for survival.

'Did he keep me here because he cared?'

'Of course, but not what you think.  He doesn't love you.  He only treats you as a friend.  To him, you're nothing but a machine, incapable of feelings or emotions,' the little voice returned.

'But... I will prove him wrong.'

I got up swiftly and changed.  Grabbing my gun and sticking it in the back of my jeans, I headed out the door.  My love for Duo was stronger than ever and even though I wasn't familiar with the area the mission was at, my love guided me straight to him. Seeing Duo safe, I smiled again with relief.  I ran right up to Duo and took him in my arms, not letting him go.

"H... Heero?  What are you doing here?"  Duo's eyes were wide with surprise that I had found him and with shock that I was hugging him so hard.

[Look in my eyes.  (Look in my eyes.)  You'll see a million tears have gone by.]

[And still they're not dry.]

[If only tears could bring you back to me.]

[If only love could find a way.  (Find a way.)]

[What I would do, what I would give if you]

[Return to me, (you'd return) someday, some how, some way.]

[If my tears could bring you back to me.]

Duo pulled away from the embrace slightly to look at me.

"Heero, what's wrong?"  He wiped my cheeks, which were still moist from my tears.  "W... were you... crying?" he said in disbelief.

I looked down.  "Yes... I was..." I looked back into Duo's eyes again.  It took all my strength not to look away again.  "Please, Duo, don't leave me like that again.  You don't know how much that hurt."

"I... I had no idea... Heero... If I had known, I wouldn't have..."

BANG

Just then a shot rang out.  Duo gave a sharp gasp before falling from my arms.  He landed with a thud on the floor.  A bullet had hit him from behind.  I looked up and saw the gun that was held by a man.  I didn't know who he was and I didn't care; all I knew was that he had harmed Duo.  I pulled out my gun and shot him.  He fell down as well.  Dead.  I fell to my knees next to Duo, tears flowing freely from my eyes.  Duo looked up at me.

"H... Heero... don't cry... I'll be alright..."

[I'd hold you close.  And shout the words I've only whisper before,]

[For one more chance, (one more chance) for one last dance.]

[There's not a thing that I would not endure.]

I gently picked him up and he smiled while he laid his head on my chest.  The tears never ceased.

"Duo... you can't die... I won't let you."  I lifted him off the floor and began to run towards a hospital.

"You're such a good friend," he said softly.

"Duo... you must know that... I love you," I heard myself whisper back.

"Hmm?"  He closed his eyes.

"I LOVE YOU DUO!!" I screamed when I saw that his eyes were closed.  I was panting hard.  "Duo, I promise that you are going to be ok.  We're going to spend the rest of our lives together.  You can't leave!"

'Please, God, give him one more chance.  Take my life if you have to.  He cannot die.  I'll do anything.  Just save him.'

I burst through the door of the hospital that I was able to recall from the mission map.  "Emergency!" I screamed out to anyone who could help.  A nurse with a doctor came out, took one look, and got Duo into an emergency room in less than 15 seconds.  I was relieved that the people here work so quickly.

[If only tears could bring you back to me.]

[If only love could find a way.  (Find a way.)]

[What I would do, what I would give if you]

[Return to me, (you'd return) someday, some how, some way.]

[If my tears could bring you back (bring you back) to me.]

I seem to have waited forever when the emergency light went off.  I jumped out of my seat and ran to the doctor.  He smiled.

"Mr. Yuy, you were so lucky that you got Mr. Maxwell here so fast.  He'll be fine.  Just a couple of days for recovery and he'll be able to check out."  The doctor gave a smile.  "And yes, you may see him.  He is awake and was just asking for you."

I nodded my head in thanks and rushed in.  Duo looked up at me when I stepped inside and he smiled.

"Heero!"  I walked over, sat down in a chair, and took his hand in mine.

"I'm so glad that you're alright, Duo," I said as I gently squeezed his hand.

"Didn't I say I was going to be?"  I laughed and smiled at him.  His eyes grew bigger suddenly as he stared at me in utter disbelief and shock again.

"What?"

"Oh my God.  You... laughed... and smiled... Am I dreaming?"

"No, I'm just so happy... I... I love you, Duo."

"Heero..." He smiled too.  "I never knew... I love you too... more than just a friend."

I stared at him.  "Y... You do?"

He nodded and smiled at me again.  He used his other hand to guide my head towards his.  He leaned forward and our lips met in a gentle kiss.

And outside, the first snow of the year began to fall.

Owari