It was dinner time. Hermione couldn't eat, couldn't talk. For the last hours all she could think about was Draco, and she was starting to realize how much she DIDN'T hate him at all.
Through her years at Hogwarts he had only made her stronger, more confident. And it didn't matter how much she fought it, but he was attractive. She was starting to feel something for him that she had never felt for anyone before. She thought it was love, but she wasn't sure, and couldn't be. She needed to see him, she needed to hear what he had to say to be sure.
Ron was saying something about how Draco was manipulative and heartless, and how he would take advantage of her if she even thought of being alone with him, but Hermione really wasn't paying attention.
''MIONE! I'm talking to you here!'' Ron shouted, finally catching her atention.
''Oh Ron, for heaven's sake,'' She turned to him, ''Can't you see I'm reflecting here?''
''On what? Get off it!'' He whispered, and noticed Harry and Ginny were laughing at him.
''What do you want anyway?'' Hermione asked, rushing her words. Dinner was almost over.
''I want you to bloody talk to me!'' He seemed revolted.
''About what?''
''Malfoy!''
''What about him?''
''Why were you two looking at each other just now?''
''I don't know what you're talking about.'' She lied.
''Right.'' He sighed,''Are you going to meet him tonight?''
''Yes.''
Dinner was officialy over. Hermione looked around to see if Draco was heading to their meeting place, but there was no sign of him.
She got up, ignoring Ron's screams, and walked in the room's direction. The way was longer than it had been the other way, and the night was cold, yet the moon was bright and wide, and the sky full of stars.
When she got there, Draco was outside the room. His hair wasn't as fixed as usual, it was free from any products, simply hair.
Hermione admired the streaks of gold flow like rivers down from his thin face. With the moonlight reflected in his eyes, they were in a greenish blue color, deep as always.
He turned to her as he felt her presence, and smiled at her, truly smiled, like he hadn't smiled in a long time. She was beautiful, with nothing unusual, but beautiful to his eyes.
''Weren't we supposed to talk inside?'' Hermione risked, interrupting the silent moment.
''Does it really matter?''
''...no....Malfoy..''
''Can you please, please, PLEASE, call me Draco?'' He begged, smiling. There was a connection between them that was misteriously created through out the years, and now they dialogue just flowed naturally.
Hermione thought she was going insane. Was she really talking to Draco, like nothing he had done to her mattered? Were they smiling at each other as if they were *friends*? Why now?
''...ok, as long as you don't call me Granger anymore.'' She gasped, still confused about the whole situation.
''Fine, Hermi-''
''Mione. Just Mione.'' She glanced at him, continuing, ''What do you want to talk about?''
''I'm not sure...first of all...I would like to say..I'm sorry.'' He turned around, his back facing her. She didn't argue, she knew it would be easier to him.
''For what?''
''For everything,'' He answered, still his back facing her.
''...Ok.''
''Second...well...it's just...'' He gasped.
''Draco...we were never good friends, and I think friendship is something will never happen between us, but we got this far, and I would love it if you'd just say what you need to say, because one of us needs to. You're not the only one confused, besides, it's just you and me here. You don't need to prove yourself around me. I think you've learned that, haven't you?'' Hermione spoke those words quickly, and got as close to him as she could, almost touching her body with his back.
There was a silent pause, longer than both of them wanted it to last.
Still in the same position, Draco continued,
''It's just that...I'm in a point in my life where...I don't know which way to go...I can't..hear what my heart's saying...I can't understand my feelings...and then I hear myself, I hear the things I say...and I start to believe I'm far beyond saving...I keep trying to tell myself what I feel, but it...doesn't work like that...and so I keep looking for what I'm hiding in myself...searching for what I'm supposed to feel...and then I just think that none of it is real...I'm becoming...lost...in thoughts...and...everywhere I turn, I seem to...I seem to be...caught..in...you. And I just think to myself, ''How can I feel that?'', I can't tolarate the thought of..loving like that...I argue with me conscience, lies flow from my mouth, hurting those who don't deserve hurting...I used to be...selfish...heartless...I hate this, I hate to love...but I don't want it to go away, because...something grew in me...and I think it's...hope...and then some thoughts come to my mind...those cliche thoughts...and then...'' He turned, facing her, and she saw a tear falling down his cheek.
''And then...?'' She gasped, almosting crying as well.
''And then...I accept my feelings as long as I can, and it feels good. Love feels good when you only think of it as a moment. But then I remember...what...I've said, what I made you go through...I feel surrounded by...an endless....void...nothing is separating us but..myself...there's a space so hugh to cross to get to...you...and it doesn't matter how hard I scream, my voice won't penetrate the crimson haze...and I can't reach far enough to understand where...where you are...and then I make a fool of myself with my futile attemps to reach you, and I end up hurting you more. My fear and hesitation are the only things holding me back, but they bring more with them...and then my hope fades away, because I know that it'll never happen, because of the broken bonds and your hurt heart I caused....I'm powerless when it comes to this, and that frustrasts me even more...so when I finally admit that...I love you, all my memories come back to me, all the...hate, and I cry...for the first time in a lot of years...I seat like a child, rocking back and forth, tears in my eyes, thinking only of you, whishing you could hold me while I'm crying...but you couldn't, and never will...'' He was quicker than her when speaking, and she only understood parts of what he said. Hermione was feeling something for him, but not only pity.
He stood tall, still with some tears in his eyes.
Through her years at Hogwarts he had only made her stronger, more confident. And it didn't matter how much she fought it, but he was attractive. She was starting to feel something for him that she had never felt for anyone before. She thought it was love, but she wasn't sure, and couldn't be. She needed to see him, she needed to hear what he had to say to be sure.
Ron was saying something about how Draco was manipulative and heartless, and how he would take advantage of her if she even thought of being alone with him, but Hermione really wasn't paying attention.
''MIONE! I'm talking to you here!'' Ron shouted, finally catching her atention.
''Oh Ron, for heaven's sake,'' She turned to him, ''Can't you see I'm reflecting here?''
''On what? Get off it!'' He whispered, and noticed Harry and Ginny were laughing at him.
''What do you want anyway?'' Hermione asked, rushing her words. Dinner was almost over.
''I want you to bloody talk to me!'' He seemed revolted.
''About what?''
''Malfoy!''
''What about him?''
''Why were you two looking at each other just now?''
''I don't know what you're talking about.'' She lied.
''Right.'' He sighed,''Are you going to meet him tonight?''
''Yes.''
Dinner was officialy over. Hermione looked around to see if Draco was heading to their meeting place, but there was no sign of him.
She got up, ignoring Ron's screams, and walked in the room's direction. The way was longer than it had been the other way, and the night was cold, yet the moon was bright and wide, and the sky full of stars.
When she got there, Draco was outside the room. His hair wasn't as fixed as usual, it was free from any products, simply hair.
Hermione admired the streaks of gold flow like rivers down from his thin face. With the moonlight reflected in his eyes, they were in a greenish blue color, deep as always.
He turned to her as he felt her presence, and smiled at her, truly smiled, like he hadn't smiled in a long time. She was beautiful, with nothing unusual, but beautiful to his eyes.
''Weren't we supposed to talk inside?'' Hermione risked, interrupting the silent moment.
''Does it really matter?''
''...no....Malfoy..''
''Can you please, please, PLEASE, call me Draco?'' He begged, smiling. There was a connection between them that was misteriously created through out the years, and now they dialogue just flowed naturally.
Hermione thought she was going insane. Was she really talking to Draco, like nothing he had done to her mattered? Were they smiling at each other as if they were *friends*? Why now?
''...ok, as long as you don't call me Granger anymore.'' She gasped, still confused about the whole situation.
''Fine, Hermi-''
''Mione. Just Mione.'' She glanced at him, continuing, ''What do you want to talk about?''
''I'm not sure...first of all...I would like to say..I'm sorry.'' He turned around, his back facing her. She didn't argue, she knew it would be easier to him.
''For what?''
''For everything,'' He answered, still his back facing her.
''...Ok.''
''Second...well...it's just...'' He gasped.
''Draco...we were never good friends, and I think friendship is something will never happen between us, but we got this far, and I would love it if you'd just say what you need to say, because one of us needs to. You're not the only one confused, besides, it's just you and me here. You don't need to prove yourself around me. I think you've learned that, haven't you?'' Hermione spoke those words quickly, and got as close to him as she could, almost touching her body with his back.
There was a silent pause, longer than both of them wanted it to last.
Still in the same position, Draco continued,
''It's just that...I'm in a point in my life where...I don't know which way to go...I can't..hear what my heart's saying...I can't understand my feelings...and then I hear myself, I hear the things I say...and I start to believe I'm far beyond saving...I keep trying to tell myself what I feel, but it...doesn't work like that...and so I keep looking for what I'm hiding in myself...searching for what I'm supposed to feel...and then I just think that none of it is real...I'm becoming...lost...in thoughts...and...everywhere I turn, I seem to...I seem to be...caught..in...you. And I just think to myself, ''How can I feel that?'', I can't tolarate the thought of..loving like that...I argue with me conscience, lies flow from my mouth, hurting those who don't deserve hurting...I used to be...selfish...heartless...I hate this, I hate to love...but I don't want it to go away, because...something grew in me...and I think it's...hope...and then some thoughts come to my mind...those cliche thoughts...and then...'' He turned, facing her, and she saw a tear falling down his cheek.
''And then...?'' She gasped, almosting crying as well.
''And then...I accept my feelings as long as I can, and it feels good. Love feels good when you only think of it as a moment. But then I remember...what...I've said, what I made you go through...I feel surrounded by...an endless....void...nothing is separating us but..myself...there's a space so hugh to cross to get to...you...and it doesn't matter how hard I scream, my voice won't penetrate the crimson haze...and I can't reach far enough to understand where...where you are...and then I make a fool of myself with my futile attemps to reach you, and I end up hurting you more. My fear and hesitation are the only things holding me back, but they bring more with them...and then my hope fades away, because I know that it'll never happen, because of the broken bonds and your hurt heart I caused....I'm powerless when it comes to this, and that frustrasts me even more...so when I finally admit that...I love you, all my memories come back to me, all the...hate, and I cry...for the first time in a lot of years...I seat like a child, rocking back and forth, tears in my eyes, thinking only of you, whishing you could hold me while I'm crying...but you couldn't, and never will...'' He was quicker than her when speaking, and she only understood parts of what he said. Hermione was feeling something for him, but not only pity.
He stood tall, still with some tears in his eyes.