Disclaimer: Chobits is by Clamp.
Forever Yours
By Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 3 – The course of action. So blind.
In the middle of the night, I rolled to one side and studied Yuzuki's face while holding a piece of her hair in my hands.
I didn't know what to do with her.
Should I check her more often? I already checked her on a regular basis and updated whatever I needed to as soon as possible.
Should I keep her here in the house? But she'll grow lonely. Persocoms were made not to feel anything, but I know that she would learn nothing more from staying at home.
Except, how could I let her go after seeing the discrimination with my own eyes?
My eyes became slits as my blood boiled like hot water steaming. I was so upset by what I had seen…
Should I leave her on standby mode?
I calmed down again as soon as I had asked myself this question.
I couldn't do that.
My chest began to ache.
It would be the same as if-
I don't want to think about that.
I sighed.
I had to think of this calmly and coolly. All that would instantly change the instant I would find that Yuzuki was troubled by someone or something, though.
Then, the words of my grandmother came to me. I had visited her just a week ago with Yuzuki waiting for me in another room because my grandmother wanted me to talk to me privately.
Grandmother Maria sat next to me on the couch. She was patting my head as she gave me a sad smile while saying, "You'll have to choose someday: Between yourself and Yuzuki-san."
"What do you mean?" I asked her as I sat on the couch next to her sipping my tea. "You know how much I care for Yuzuki-san."
She nodded understandingly. "That's why. You have to carry on your household, Minoru-kun, whether or not you like it."
My heart ached as I perfectly understood her words.
"As much as you enjoy being with Yuzuki-san…" She looked down to the carpeted floor as she took her hand away from my head. Then, she got up and drank her tea while looking out the glass window of her living room. "She will give you much sadness."
"How could you say this to me?" I harshly asked as I put my teacup onto the saucer a little harder than I wanted. Then, I sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I understand what you are saying and it is true."
It was something that I knew would eventually come as I would grow older and older. An undeniable fate.
She turned around and looked at me deeply. "You will bring her much sorrow also."
Yuzuki's beautiful eyes came to mind, especially that time that she had decided on her own to hack into that system. And here I was outside of the door pounding my hands shouting her name. Pounding and pounding until I thought my hands would go through the door because it was piercing my heart the longer I waited with nothing to say.
Wasn't this the same thing?
That incident that was ever vivid in my memory. It was something I would have never done for anyone else.
I…
I cried for my sister…
But I knew I would cry endlessly for Yuzuki if she ever left me.
They say persocoms are dependent on their master to help them on how to function in society. But did people ever realize that persocoms only further show the shortcomings of humanity?
I needed Yuzuki like no other person in the world. And because of that, I had brought her down with me in my weakness…
Still holding onto Yuzuki's hair, I smelled it. Then, I let it go as I wrapped her in my blanket and left the room. I knew I wouldn't be able to go to sleep tonight.
In the kitchen, I made myself some tea. Then, I walked over to my study and turned on the light.
As soon as I sat down on my computer chair, I took a sip of my tea and pondered on my next move while moving back and forth in my chair. Putting my tea down on one corner, I took out a letter out of one of the drawers.
It was the one that I was about to read while Yuzuki was out, but I didn't get a chance to. Or rather, I wanted to prolong what I suspected to be the content of this letter.
But when I looked more at it, I shook my head. I didn't think I was ready to get more frustrated at that moment.
"You're not a coward, Minoru," I told myself. Then, I sighed as I tore one side of this red envelope in my hands.
I began to read in silence:
"Dear Minoru-kun,
Hello, my dear! I hope that you are faring well. I also hope that you are not too troubled by what we had talked about a few days ago.
I didn't mean for you to leave with such a long face. I was only stating to you what was ahead of you.
For, you will be going to college soon, and we'll have to make preparations soon. By the time you are of age, you'll have to take over the family business as your father and mother have planned out for you.
I wanted to discuss this with you as soon as possible for a course of action so that everything will go smoothly. I don't want you to be unhappy, Minoru, but please think about what I have said and what I will be saying to you.
In the coming weeks, I will be sending you various files to get you started early as well as going to various companies to get an edge. But I know you very well. You've probably already researched on them and know some course of action.
So, please call me soon and let's have tea again with Yuzuki.
Love always,
Grandma"
I folded the letter and put it back into the drawer to read it again the next afternoon when I would fully focus on it.
As I laid back on my chair, I sat there like an insomniac staring at the ceiling.
"You might as well as have told me, 'Fix your doubts and keep your mind clear,'" I mumbled sarcastically to myself.
I knew she meant well, but I also knew how harsh she could be. That was why it was optimal to be on good terms with her from the start. This I had learned from experience.
But I knew, there would come a day that she would tell me this. Just as harshly as she had told me to pick between myself or Yuzuki, I knew she'd eventually tell me, "You are human, Minoru. Remember that."
"That's why…that's why this is so damn hard," I whispered to myself as my voice echoed all around me.
I put my arms to each side of my chair and looked up to the ceiling.
Through the silence of the house, I felt as if it was telling me that I had to choose to be alone.
I would be alone all over again.
Tsuzuku…
--
Author's notes: * sighs * Oh my…now we're going to get just worse and worse with the angst from here…
Poor Minoru. I'm sorry that I'm not very good with details, but I'll try my best to show Yuzuki's feelings better. It's just difficult because Yuzuki is hard to convey without looking at her since she thinks in terms of 1's and 0's and cannot fully express herself.
Forever Yours
By Miyamoto Yui
Chapter 3 – The course of action. So blind.
In the middle of the night, I rolled to one side and studied Yuzuki's face while holding a piece of her hair in my hands.
I didn't know what to do with her.
Should I check her more often? I already checked her on a regular basis and updated whatever I needed to as soon as possible.
Should I keep her here in the house? But she'll grow lonely. Persocoms were made not to feel anything, but I know that she would learn nothing more from staying at home.
Except, how could I let her go after seeing the discrimination with my own eyes?
My eyes became slits as my blood boiled like hot water steaming. I was so upset by what I had seen…
Should I leave her on standby mode?
I calmed down again as soon as I had asked myself this question.
I couldn't do that.
My chest began to ache.
It would be the same as if-
I don't want to think about that.
I sighed.
I had to think of this calmly and coolly. All that would instantly change the instant I would find that Yuzuki was troubled by someone or something, though.
Then, the words of my grandmother came to me. I had visited her just a week ago with Yuzuki waiting for me in another room because my grandmother wanted me to talk to me privately.
Grandmother Maria sat next to me on the couch. She was patting my head as she gave me a sad smile while saying, "You'll have to choose someday: Between yourself and Yuzuki-san."
"What do you mean?" I asked her as I sat on the couch next to her sipping my tea. "You know how much I care for Yuzuki-san."
She nodded understandingly. "That's why. You have to carry on your household, Minoru-kun, whether or not you like it."
My heart ached as I perfectly understood her words.
"As much as you enjoy being with Yuzuki-san…" She looked down to the carpeted floor as she took her hand away from my head. Then, she got up and drank her tea while looking out the glass window of her living room. "She will give you much sadness."
"How could you say this to me?" I harshly asked as I put my teacup onto the saucer a little harder than I wanted. Then, I sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I understand what you are saying and it is true."
It was something that I knew would eventually come as I would grow older and older. An undeniable fate.
She turned around and looked at me deeply. "You will bring her much sorrow also."
Yuzuki's beautiful eyes came to mind, especially that time that she had decided on her own to hack into that system. And here I was outside of the door pounding my hands shouting her name. Pounding and pounding until I thought my hands would go through the door because it was piercing my heart the longer I waited with nothing to say.
Wasn't this the same thing?
That incident that was ever vivid in my memory. It was something I would have never done for anyone else.
I…
I cried for my sister…
But I knew I would cry endlessly for Yuzuki if she ever left me.
They say persocoms are dependent on their master to help them on how to function in society. But did people ever realize that persocoms only further show the shortcomings of humanity?
I needed Yuzuki like no other person in the world. And because of that, I had brought her down with me in my weakness…
Still holding onto Yuzuki's hair, I smelled it. Then, I let it go as I wrapped her in my blanket and left the room. I knew I wouldn't be able to go to sleep tonight.
In the kitchen, I made myself some tea. Then, I walked over to my study and turned on the light.
As soon as I sat down on my computer chair, I took a sip of my tea and pondered on my next move while moving back and forth in my chair. Putting my tea down on one corner, I took out a letter out of one of the drawers.
It was the one that I was about to read while Yuzuki was out, but I didn't get a chance to. Or rather, I wanted to prolong what I suspected to be the content of this letter.
But when I looked more at it, I shook my head. I didn't think I was ready to get more frustrated at that moment.
"You're not a coward, Minoru," I told myself. Then, I sighed as I tore one side of this red envelope in my hands.
I began to read in silence:
"Dear Minoru-kun,
Hello, my dear! I hope that you are faring well. I also hope that you are not too troubled by what we had talked about a few days ago.
I didn't mean for you to leave with such a long face. I was only stating to you what was ahead of you.
For, you will be going to college soon, and we'll have to make preparations soon. By the time you are of age, you'll have to take over the family business as your father and mother have planned out for you.
I wanted to discuss this with you as soon as possible for a course of action so that everything will go smoothly. I don't want you to be unhappy, Minoru, but please think about what I have said and what I will be saying to you.
In the coming weeks, I will be sending you various files to get you started early as well as going to various companies to get an edge. But I know you very well. You've probably already researched on them and know some course of action.
So, please call me soon and let's have tea again with Yuzuki.
Love always,
Grandma"
I folded the letter and put it back into the drawer to read it again the next afternoon when I would fully focus on it.
As I laid back on my chair, I sat there like an insomniac staring at the ceiling.
"You might as well as have told me, 'Fix your doubts and keep your mind clear,'" I mumbled sarcastically to myself.
I knew she meant well, but I also knew how harsh she could be. That was why it was optimal to be on good terms with her from the start. This I had learned from experience.
But I knew, there would come a day that she would tell me this. Just as harshly as she had told me to pick between myself or Yuzuki, I knew she'd eventually tell me, "You are human, Minoru. Remember that."
"That's why…that's why this is so damn hard," I whispered to myself as my voice echoed all around me.
I put my arms to each side of my chair and looked up to the ceiling.
Through the silence of the house, I felt as if it was telling me that I had to choose to be alone.
I would be alone all over again.
Tsuzuku…
--
Author's notes: * sighs * Oh my…now we're going to get just worse and worse with the angst from here…
Poor Minoru. I'm sorry that I'm not very good with details, but I'll try my best to show Yuzuki's feelings better. It's just difficult because Yuzuki is hard to convey without looking at her since she thinks in terms of 1's and 0's and cannot fully express herself.