Disclaimer: Angelic Layer and Chobits are both by Clamp! (This goes for the last chapter too! I forgot! Gomen ne!!!)
Forever yours
By yui miyamoto
Chapter 10 – Jishin (Self-confidence.)
I looked all around me as I wheezed while pushing my palms on my knees in tiredness. "How will I get to my grandmother's? * huff, puff * My body might not be able to take it."
"I'll get you there," said a voice behind me.
I turned around towards the street to find Misaki beckoning me with her hand.
"Come on, Minoru-kun!" she shouted.
I slammed the car door as we skidded away with Misaki laughing. "I'm not used to stopping out of nowhere."
She winced with her childish innocence, "I hope I don't get a ticket!"
In return, I laughed with a smile, "You're always very funny, Misaki-san."
She nodded her head sympathetically. "I can't help it."
Then, her tone changed as she watched the road, "Where are you headed again, Kid?"
"Grandmother's," I answered while folding my hands. She hadn't called me that in so long. It was her nickname for me because we used to tease one another about Angelic Layer dolls.
"Ah, great! Near Oujirou's home." She smiled as she held onto the steering wheel. Then, she glanced at me. "What happened? Why do I hear you're so unhappy?"
Misaki frowned. "Your sister would be so upset right now."
"But-but how did you-" I stammered.
She gave me a side-glance with a wink. "Oh, you know how my Angelic Layer teacher used to say for her angel to go beyond speed and sound?"
"Hatoko…" I smiled with relief as I shook my head. "She really is amazing."
Misaki nodded as she reached out to hold my hand. "You've pushed yourself to the limit."
"Or my sister wouldn't ever forgive me," I replied with a determined face.
It was Misaki's turn to get nostalgic. "Did I ever tell you about the first time I fought with your sister?"
I shook my head.
"Well," she continued, "when we first met, she said Blanche was her child. But when we fought, Blanche went into hyper mode and I was wondering why she still insisted for Blanche to fight despite all the pain and damage. Through it all, she still smiled."
I looked down to my lap. "Nee-chan was always like that…"
Misaki, in a serious voice, explained to me, "Your sister told me that even though Blanche was in pain, she wanted her to try her best. So, she had to push her to the limit."
She then squeezed my hand. "But you don't have to fight alone. Don't think all by yourself, Minoru-kun. Ever since we all met, we are here for you. All you had to do was ask us."
"Misaki-san…" I replied as I thought of Blanche in the display.
She let go as my hands became fists. "Yuzuki has to know that too. That I'm always going to look for her wherever she is. I will never give up on her. Even if she might hate me for it."
Misaki smiled. "Your sister taught me that you have to have the courage to hurt someone only because you care for them to be their best. I couldn't understand that before.
But you know what I learned from Yuzuki? When we started to get to know one another, she always tried her best to be the person she wanted to grow into."
She blinked her eyes. "Probability is great and all, but from the start, I saw that she had the will. She didn't want to reach you as a persocom, but as a person who wanted to be next to you, Minoru-kun. From her, I learned that my own doubts finally were put to an end."
"Doubts?" I asked incredulously. "About what?"
"Oujirou is older than I am and he is way taller. At first, I thought my feelings would never reach him because all I looked like was a little girl to him," she said as she smiled wistfully. "Then, even when he said he loved me, I didn't believe him. 'He still loved his first love, right? Isn't that what he had told me?' I had thought."
Again, she glanced at me. "For a long time, that's what I was fighting inside of me. I was seeing myself against that wonderful woman he loved first. I didn't truly believe him until I saw Yuzuki and the way she looked at you."
She patted my head and messed up my hair. "Yuzuki probably thinks that you're stuck on what she looks like, Minoru-kun. You have to prove to her that you love her heart, her mind, and the soul she's trying to make for herself.
You love her so much, you could be pushing her away that way."
"I…I never thought about it that way." I shook my head as I blinked my eyes in contemplation. "Why would she push me away?"
"She doesn't know who she is yet," she answered. "You have to support her, no matter what it is."
"Like with Hikaru," she explained as she touched the keychain of a mini Hikaru hanging on the rearview mirror. "Angel's project your feelings, until they take up a personality of their own. Then, they have develop their own heart and they listen to your voice because you are friends.
Yuzuki is your guardian angel, but you have to let her grow. That will sometimes mean you have to let her go and breathe by herself, without you."
I nodded my head. "Thank you for your advice, Misaki-san. I never thought of these things before."
"I know more than anyone the pain of being away from someone that you want to be close to," Misaki said as she grinned as she patted my cheek. "Then, in the end of all my tears, I saw that I should have just said what I wanted, and shouldn't have tried to convince that things were okay.
"Yuzuki will learn to do that. She will tell you what she really wants and not what's good for both you. And you know why? Because you have tried hard for her."
I patted her hand. "Thank you…"
Then, she parked the car in front of my grandmother's. As I was about come out of the car, she said, "Lean forward."
"Yes?"
She then blushed as she kissed my cheek. "I remember when Hatoko did this at the first AL tournament. She said, 'A gift for good luck.'"
I blushed as I got out of the car.
"Remember, nothing is impossible as long as you have the heart and will to overcome your obstacles. Even when it's against yourself."
Again, I nodded my thanks. "Please say hello to Oujirou-san for me!"
"I will! And if you don't try your best, I'll make you play against Wizard and your Subaru doll!" she laughed as she put the window up and left.
I then pushed the intercom with unwavering eyes. "Hello, I would like to speak to my grandmother…"
The gates opened and I walked in with my head up.
The door was opened and one of the maids bowed while taking me to my grandmother's office. While opening the door for me, she announced, "Madam has been expecting you."
Tsuzuku…
--
Author's notes: Seems that we are half way through the story! I have finally have an outline until the ending. But, I'm still trying to figure out if I want this happy or sad…
I know the story has been nothing but angst, but I hope that it is also heart-warming. I also hope that the messages I've been trying to say are getting through.
Forever yours
By yui miyamoto
Chapter 10 – Jishin (Self-confidence.)
I looked all around me as I wheezed while pushing my palms on my knees in tiredness. "How will I get to my grandmother's? * huff, puff * My body might not be able to take it."
"I'll get you there," said a voice behind me.
I turned around towards the street to find Misaki beckoning me with her hand.
"Come on, Minoru-kun!" she shouted.
I slammed the car door as we skidded away with Misaki laughing. "I'm not used to stopping out of nowhere."
She winced with her childish innocence, "I hope I don't get a ticket!"
In return, I laughed with a smile, "You're always very funny, Misaki-san."
She nodded her head sympathetically. "I can't help it."
Then, her tone changed as she watched the road, "Where are you headed again, Kid?"
"Grandmother's," I answered while folding my hands. She hadn't called me that in so long. It was her nickname for me because we used to tease one another about Angelic Layer dolls.
"Ah, great! Near Oujirou's home." She smiled as she held onto the steering wheel. Then, she glanced at me. "What happened? Why do I hear you're so unhappy?"
Misaki frowned. "Your sister would be so upset right now."
"But-but how did you-" I stammered.
She gave me a side-glance with a wink. "Oh, you know how my Angelic Layer teacher used to say for her angel to go beyond speed and sound?"
"Hatoko…" I smiled with relief as I shook my head. "She really is amazing."
Misaki nodded as she reached out to hold my hand. "You've pushed yourself to the limit."
"Or my sister wouldn't ever forgive me," I replied with a determined face.
It was Misaki's turn to get nostalgic. "Did I ever tell you about the first time I fought with your sister?"
I shook my head.
"Well," she continued, "when we first met, she said Blanche was her child. But when we fought, Blanche went into hyper mode and I was wondering why she still insisted for Blanche to fight despite all the pain and damage. Through it all, she still smiled."
I looked down to my lap. "Nee-chan was always like that…"
Misaki, in a serious voice, explained to me, "Your sister told me that even though Blanche was in pain, she wanted her to try her best. So, she had to push her to the limit."
She then squeezed my hand. "But you don't have to fight alone. Don't think all by yourself, Minoru-kun. Ever since we all met, we are here for you. All you had to do was ask us."
"Misaki-san…" I replied as I thought of Blanche in the display.
She let go as my hands became fists. "Yuzuki has to know that too. That I'm always going to look for her wherever she is. I will never give up on her. Even if she might hate me for it."
Misaki smiled. "Your sister taught me that you have to have the courage to hurt someone only because you care for them to be their best. I couldn't understand that before.
But you know what I learned from Yuzuki? When we started to get to know one another, she always tried her best to be the person she wanted to grow into."
She blinked her eyes. "Probability is great and all, but from the start, I saw that she had the will. She didn't want to reach you as a persocom, but as a person who wanted to be next to you, Minoru-kun. From her, I learned that my own doubts finally were put to an end."
"Doubts?" I asked incredulously. "About what?"
"Oujirou is older than I am and he is way taller. At first, I thought my feelings would never reach him because all I looked like was a little girl to him," she said as she smiled wistfully. "Then, even when he said he loved me, I didn't believe him. 'He still loved his first love, right? Isn't that what he had told me?' I had thought."
Again, she glanced at me. "For a long time, that's what I was fighting inside of me. I was seeing myself against that wonderful woman he loved first. I didn't truly believe him until I saw Yuzuki and the way she looked at you."
She patted my head and messed up my hair. "Yuzuki probably thinks that you're stuck on what she looks like, Minoru-kun. You have to prove to her that you love her heart, her mind, and the soul she's trying to make for herself.
You love her so much, you could be pushing her away that way."
"I…I never thought about it that way." I shook my head as I blinked my eyes in contemplation. "Why would she push me away?"
"She doesn't know who she is yet," she answered. "You have to support her, no matter what it is."
"Like with Hikaru," she explained as she touched the keychain of a mini Hikaru hanging on the rearview mirror. "Angel's project your feelings, until they take up a personality of their own. Then, they have develop their own heart and they listen to your voice because you are friends.
Yuzuki is your guardian angel, but you have to let her grow. That will sometimes mean you have to let her go and breathe by herself, without you."
I nodded my head. "Thank you for your advice, Misaki-san. I never thought of these things before."
"I know more than anyone the pain of being away from someone that you want to be close to," Misaki said as she grinned as she patted my cheek. "Then, in the end of all my tears, I saw that I should have just said what I wanted, and shouldn't have tried to convince that things were okay.
"Yuzuki will learn to do that. She will tell you what she really wants and not what's good for both you. And you know why? Because you have tried hard for her."
I patted her hand. "Thank you…"
Then, she parked the car in front of my grandmother's. As I was about come out of the car, she said, "Lean forward."
"Yes?"
She then blushed as she kissed my cheek. "I remember when Hatoko did this at the first AL tournament. She said, 'A gift for good luck.'"
I blushed as I got out of the car.
"Remember, nothing is impossible as long as you have the heart and will to overcome your obstacles. Even when it's against yourself."
Again, I nodded my thanks. "Please say hello to Oujirou-san for me!"
"I will! And if you don't try your best, I'll make you play against Wizard and your Subaru doll!" she laughed as she put the window up and left.
I then pushed the intercom with unwavering eyes. "Hello, I would like to speak to my grandmother…"
The gates opened and I walked in with my head up.
The door was opened and one of the maids bowed while taking me to my grandmother's office. While opening the door for me, she announced, "Madam has been expecting you."
Tsuzuku…
--
Author's notes: Seems that we are half way through the story! I have finally have an outline until the ending. But, I'm still trying to figure out if I want this happy or sad…
I know the story has been nothing but angst, but I hope that it is also heart-warming. I also hope that the messages I've been trying to say are getting through.