Disclaimer: Chobits is by Clamp. "I can never get enough" is by In Heaven.
Forever yours
By miyamoto yui
Chapter 12 – Fighting the world and yourself.
I got into the car as Chii nodded her head hesitantly as she smiled. Then, she began to drive while adjusting the radio station of the car.
/"I can never get enough
Never get enough
I can never get enough
Of you"/
"Wow, you're a lifesaver," I commented as I looked at her.
But my grandmother's words kept on ringing in my ears, "Before my batteries run out…Prove to me…"
What was she talking about?
Why did she look so lost? That was something even more unexpected as when she pushed back her long hair behind her ear…
"Your grandmother has finally told you…" Chii asked me as she turned a corner. "…hasn't she?"
I felt myself cringe as the song sang,
/"Catch me now I think I'm falling
Can't you hear my love is calling
Catch me now I think I'm falling
Hear my love is calling for you."/
My concentrated face honestly projected my confusion. "Can you tell?"
"Her time is coming soon, that's why…" she trailed off.
/"It's a star walking on it
Déjà vu and reminiscing
And my days are running around endlessly
Boy you got me so unknown
If I'm coming or I'm going
Take it slow and easy on me
Can't you see."/
How well these things were timed…
There was the touch of innocence that always engulfed Chii's character. But after being with Hideki for some years now, she had matured in many ways.
Somehow, I knew with certainty it was because of the trouble they had both faced, both from themselves and society.
Just like Yuzuki and I…
Before, now, and after…
"How do you know all this Chii?" I asked her, fascinated at the same time as I trusted her to lead me to Yuzuki and at the fact that she was the only one who could tell me both as a Chobits and as a person.
"As the prototype and a Chobits, I'm connected to each and every persocom anywhere," she said as she smiled at me with melancholy. "And in every persocom, there is a voice, Minoru. The voice is the same in each persocom when they hear it. It is because it's something hidden in me. Even I don't understand this.
"It could be my sister, or it is me talking…or something much more than that."
She blinked her eyes as she reached out to my hand.
Chii continued in a gentle tone, "This 'voice' makes a persocom 'real'. And in exchange, they give up their 'life'."
"I…I don't quite understand, Chii…" I said as I shook my head.
"Some choose to live much longer, but they can never even begin to feel emotions." She squeezed my hand. "You know that persocoms can't feel things, ne?"
I nodded my head. "It's due to the programming."
"By my mother," she finished with hesitation. "But that's not true."
It was then that Chii pulled into a side of the road as she put her hands on my shoulders. "Persocoms can feel, but that takes so much of their battery life. They're 'life' is taken away. And…"
She squeezed my shoulders while shaking me slightly as she looked at me with her eyes remembering what had happened to her years ago. "If a persocom remembers pain, how much more painful would it be for the person that loves them? The persocom can block it out of their memory and have it erased forever, but a human cannot."
At that moment, she cupped her hands on my face. "You should know this more than anyone, shouldn't you, Minoru?"
"Chii…" I mumbled in amazement.
"That's why I left Hideki for a while…" she sighed.
As I looked at her pulling away and starting the engine once again, I thought about how much she had grown under Hideki's love and care. Her touch was as tender as Yuzuki's.
That there will be a time when there will be no difference between the feelings of a persocom and a human's…
Even if only in that sense.
"What could I do for him once I decided?" Her hands gripped onto the steering wheel as she gave a serious look towards the road, one almost close to distress. "I would leave before he left me.
"In suspended time, I was trapped within myself trying to figure things out. Had my sister been right in feeling so much pain for her 'dake no hito' that she wanted to erase herself from her existence? For a time, I thought she was right."
I sighed while avoiding my gaze at her face.
"For if Hideki did not choose me, would I wander all over again? And for what? Wasn't a 'dake no hito' the equivalent of a soulmate as humans would call it? Why must there be such a clear distinction in these things? Because we're persocoms.
"My sister was right in disappearing if that's what it would all lead to. But Hideki called to me. In the darkness I heard his voice calling to me. It was then that I knew that I didn't have to keep on wandering aimlessly anymore. I was looking all this time, only to be found in the end."
I looked out the window with life passing by in cars, buildings, people, and persocoms in a blur.
"I know Hideki doesn't have it easy, Minoru," she said as kept her eyes glued to the road trying not to cry. "He always tries to brush off all the comments or I ignore the fact that there are just some cruel people out there who beat him up out of their frustration for his stupidity or the easygoing life he's had. I watch this without telling him anything.
"And I can't tell him that there are people who treat me so badly when I go to a supermarket. I have to go to certain aisles, sometimes with persocoms themselves, so that I won't be harassed."
"I know…" I nodded in understanding as I patted her shoulder. "I knew this ever since I created Yuzuki. But I can't help it. You can't control who you fall in love with, just what you do about it."
There was a deep silence.
It cut to the core deep inside of us with the questions that didn't want to cease or be even looked upon in the shadows.
"Yuzuki is back in your home," Chii's soft voice cut through the silence.
"What?!" I asked in astonishment. "I thought that would be the last place she would go to."
I would have thought she would have gone away from me…
Somewhere far away.
She then sighed as she told me, "She's going to kill herself where you first created her."
There was a ringing in my ears as I felt numb, unable to speak back as the words of the girl on the radio came crashing into my ears and through my body:
/"Catch me now I think I'm falling
Can't you heart my love is calling
Catch me now I think I'm falling
Hear my love is calling for you
Calling for you
Callling for you
Endlessly
Endlessly"/
At the end of the song, Chii turned to me as we came to stoplight. With a determined smile, the one that drove Hideki wild with love and confidence every time he saw her, Chii cheered,
"Fight."
Yes, fight the demons inside…
…and outside of my head.
Tsuzuku…/To be continued…
--
Author's note: How can you have 'Chobits' without 'the Chii'? * wink * I needed her to explain what it meant to be a persocom in the first place since Chobits _is_ her story. And, I had specifically tried thinking of another way to get the story moving along with her telling something to Minoru. I wanted to originally put them running, but logically, she can't be heard if they're running towards Minoru's house, right? So, even if it seems a bit off, I hope that this was effective since this was the most plausible way to carry this out. Even if I didn't have all the characters of either AL or Chobits here, I brought out the ones that could be the most influential and significant to Minoru's 'journey' and Yuzuki's 'self-discovery'.
Also, just to say that I don't know what Kaede died of because it was not specified. I'm only saying that she died of a heart failure ('cause that's how I imagined it ^^;;;;;).
Oh, on another note, I had made a somewhat 'prequel' to this story. Not officially, but a while ago, I had made a side story about Sai and Kaede called 'Heaven's smile' which is under the Angelic Layer section. It's shoujo ai, but it will help in comprehending some stuff for the next chapter.
Forever yours
By miyamoto yui
Chapter 12 – Fighting the world and yourself.
I got into the car as Chii nodded her head hesitantly as she smiled. Then, she began to drive while adjusting the radio station of the car.
/"I can never get enough
Never get enough
I can never get enough
Of you"/
"Wow, you're a lifesaver," I commented as I looked at her.
But my grandmother's words kept on ringing in my ears, "Before my batteries run out…Prove to me…"
What was she talking about?
Why did she look so lost? That was something even more unexpected as when she pushed back her long hair behind her ear…
"Your grandmother has finally told you…" Chii asked me as she turned a corner. "…hasn't she?"
I felt myself cringe as the song sang,
/"Catch me now I think I'm falling
Can't you hear my love is calling
Catch me now I think I'm falling
Hear my love is calling for you."/
My concentrated face honestly projected my confusion. "Can you tell?"
"Her time is coming soon, that's why…" she trailed off.
/"It's a star walking on it
Déjà vu and reminiscing
And my days are running around endlessly
Boy you got me so unknown
If I'm coming or I'm going
Take it slow and easy on me
Can't you see."/
How well these things were timed…
There was the touch of innocence that always engulfed Chii's character. But after being with Hideki for some years now, she had matured in many ways.
Somehow, I knew with certainty it was because of the trouble they had both faced, both from themselves and society.
Just like Yuzuki and I…
Before, now, and after…
"How do you know all this Chii?" I asked her, fascinated at the same time as I trusted her to lead me to Yuzuki and at the fact that she was the only one who could tell me both as a Chobits and as a person.
"As the prototype and a Chobits, I'm connected to each and every persocom anywhere," she said as she smiled at me with melancholy. "And in every persocom, there is a voice, Minoru. The voice is the same in each persocom when they hear it. It is because it's something hidden in me. Even I don't understand this.
"It could be my sister, or it is me talking…or something much more than that."
She blinked her eyes as she reached out to my hand.
Chii continued in a gentle tone, "This 'voice' makes a persocom 'real'. And in exchange, they give up their 'life'."
"I…I don't quite understand, Chii…" I said as I shook my head.
"Some choose to live much longer, but they can never even begin to feel emotions." She squeezed my hand. "You know that persocoms can't feel things, ne?"
I nodded my head. "It's due to the programming."
"By my mother," she finished with hesitation. "But that's not true."
It was then that Chii pulled into a side of the road as she put her hands on my shoulders. "Persocoms can feel, but that takes so much of their battery life. They're 'life' is taken away. And…"
She squeezed my shoulders while shaking me slightly as she looked at me with her eyes remembering what had happened to her years ago. "If a persocom remembers pain, how much more painful would it be for the person that loves them? The persocom can block it out of their memory and have it erased forever, but a human cannot."
At that moment, she cupped her hands on my face. "You should know this more than anyone, shouldn't you, Minoru?"
"Chii…" I mumbled in amazement.
"That's why I left Hideki for a while…" she sighed.
As I looked at her pulling away and starting the engine once again, I thought about how much she had grown under Hideki's love and care. Her touch was as tender as Yuzuki's.
That there will be a time when there will be no difference between the feelings of a persocom and a human's…
Even if only in that sense.
"What could I do for him once I decided?" Her hands gripped onto the steering wheel as she gave a serious look towards the road, one almost close to distress. "I would leave before he left me.
"In suspended time, I was trapped within myself trying to figure things out. Had my sister been right in feeling so much pain for her 'dake no hito' that she wanted to erase herself from her existence? For a time, I thought she was right."
I sighed while avoiding my gaze at her face.
"For if Hideki did not choose me, would I wander all over again? And for what? Wasn't a 'dake no hito' the equivalent of a soulmate as humans would call it? Why must there be such a clear distinction in these things? Because we're persocoms.
"My sister was right in disappearing if that's what it would all lead to. But Hideki called to me. In the darkness I heard his voice calling to me. It was then that I knew that I didn't have to keep on wandering aimlessly anymore. I was looking all this time, only to be found in the end."
I looked out the window with life passing by in cars, buildings, people, and persocoms in a blur.
"I know Hideki doesn't have it easy, Minoru," she said as kept her eyes glued to the road trying not to cry. "He always tries to brush off all the comments or I ignore the fact that there are just some cruel people out there who beat him up out of their frustration for his stupidity or the easygoing life he's had. I watch this without telling him anything.
"And I can't tell him that there are people who treat me so badly when I go to a supermarket. I have to go to certain aisles, sometimes with persocoms themselves, so that I won't be harassed."
"I know…" I nodded in understanding as I patted her shoulder. "I knew this ever since I created Yuzuki. But I can't help it. You can't control who you fall in love with, just what you do about it."
There was a deep silence.
It cut to the core deep inside of us with the questions that didn't want to cease or be even looked upon in the shadows.
"Yuzuki is back in your home," Chii's soft voice cut through the silence.
"What?!" I asked in astonishment. "I thought that would be the last place she would go to."
I would have thought she would have gone away from me…
Somewhere far away.
She then sighed as she told me, "She's going to kill herself where you first created her."
There was a ringing in my ears as I felt numb, unable to speak back as the words of the girl on the radio came crashing into my ears and through my body:
/"Catch me now I think I'm falling
Can't you heart my love is calling
Catch me now I think I'm falling
Hear my love is calling for you
Calling for you
Callling for you
Endlessly
Endlessly"/
At the end of the song, Chii turned to me as we came to stoplight. With a determined smile, the one that drove Hideki wild with love and confidence every time he saw her, Chii cheered,
"Fight."
Yes, fight the demons inside…
…and outside of my head.
Tsuzuku…/To be continued…
--
Author's note: How can you have 'Chobits' without 'the Chii'? * wink * I needed her to explain what it meant to be a persocom in the first place since Chobits _is_ her story. And, I had specifically tried thinking of another way to get the story moving along with her telling something to Minoru. I wanted to originally put them running, but logically, she can't be heard if they're running towards Minoru's house, right? So, even if it seems a bit off, I hope that this was effective since this was the most plausible way to carry this out. Even if I didn't have all the characters of either AL or Chobits here, I brought out the ones that could be the most influential and significant to Minoru's 'journey' and Yuzuki's 'self-discovery'.
Also, just to say that I don't know what Kaede died of because it was not specified. I'm only saying that she died of a heart failure ('cause that's how I imagined it ^^;;;;;).
Oh, on another note, I had made a somewhat 'prequel' to this story. Not officially, but a while ago, I had made a side story about Sai and Kaede called 'Heaven's smile' which is under the Angelic Layer section. It's shoujo ai, but it will help in comprehending some stuff for the next chapter.