Note: Shelley Ghastly and all other fan fiction characters mentioned in
this story; except for Lafayette Plasimeaux; are owned by my on-line friend
and co-writer, Mona. All non-fan-fiction characters are copyrighted by
Disney, so this story is being written with absolutely no profit motive.
****************************************************************************
*********
One dark night in Transylvania, a tall, well-muscled rooster with an only
slightly pale complexion was putting the finishing touches on his
travelling outfit consisting of dark blue tuxedo jacket with matching cape
and dress pants, well-polished black shoes with matching gloves and dress
shirt. The look of approval in his blue-green eyes and on his beak was
unmistakable. "Very soon, Morgana, vous shall be once more, how vous say,
under my spell, oui?" the rooster commented slyly as he looked at a picture
of a starkly beautiful female duck with raven hair and emerald green eyes.
This same rooster came up to what looked like an ordinary coffin, poured some dirt he brought over from Paris into the coffin and pressed a button on the coffin that converted it into a miniature jet. Grabbing a large bouquet of flowers, an expensive looking diamond necklace and a ten-pound box of sweets, he placed the aforementioned items in the coffin-jet and started the take-off sequence all the while reflecting on what happened between him and the object of his pursuit so many years ago.
The rooster, named Lafayette Plasimeaux, was a powerful half-vampire warlock who had a well-deserved reputation as the Eldritch Academy playbird when he first met Morgana McCawber. Though he was strongly attracted to her from the start, she resisted him at first, knowing full well about his ladies' bird reputation.
Eventually, after over a year of wooing the sorceress, trying to impress her with displays of both academic and athletic prowess as well as showering her with all sorts of expensive gifts (in addition to being a powerful warlock and being half-vampire, he was also rather wealthy), Morgana ultimately agreed to ONE date with Lafayette and Lafayette made sure that she had such a good time that she wouldn't mind another date. Well, each date led to more and, eventually, Lafayette Plasimeaux and Morgana McCawber were officially boyfriend/girlfriend.
Eventually, though, after she and Lafayette had been dating for a touch over three years, she finally realized that this leopard hadn't truly changed his spots after all. Not only did Lafayette stand her up at the senior prom, but when she finally tracked him down, he was caught in the act with her then best friend, Shelley Ghastly. Lafayette and Shelley were both so shocked that Morgana could finally take advantage of his temporary drop in mental defenses and scan his mind. This no-good ladies' bird had been fooling around on Morgana throughout much of the time the two had been dating, but this was just the first time she caught him in the act.
"I could eventually forgive you standing me up, Lafayette, but NOT THIS." Morgana said quietly before she started zapping the daylights out of him.
"But, my beloved... owwww! ouch! ouch!..... I can explain. I was trying to explain to Mademoiselle Ghastly that ..... yeooow! Owwww! ...... she was barking up zee wrong tree with moi but ..... ohhhhh!.... She would not take non for an answer.... YEEOOOOW!" Lafayette tried to alibi through the zaps.
"Save it, Lafayette. I scanned your mind. Not only did you have the audacity to seduce my best friend, but you have lie about it." Morgana said as she unleashed two bolts of mystic energy four times the size of basketballs on her double-dealing now ex-boyfriend and she floated away from the sordid scene.
"Well, zat was over fifteen years ago, oui?" Lafayette said to himself (referring to the "getting caught in the act with Morg's best friend" incidently). "Surely, she MUST have forgiven me by now. Zerefore, next stop.... Saint Canard." the half-vampire warlock finished as he started his coffin jet toward the aforementioned city.
The day was dawning as the coffin-jet landed. The pilot blinked. Being only half-vampire, he was able to stay out in the sunshine but still preferred the night.
The Black Water Inn was a renovated old hotel, converted from a simple bed and breakfast to practically a luxury resort motel. It boasted tennis courts, a swimming pool, and antique furniture. Lafayette Plasimeaux, accustomed to living the high life and having enough money to do so, decided to book a room. Each of the rooms was named after a species of tree. The vampire-warlock's suite was the Laurel Room.
The four poster bed was a few feet off the ground. Lafayette slid his coffin underneath. The long bedskirt reached the floor, providing adequate concealment. Picking up the roses and the ten-pound box of candy, he locked the door -- making sure to put the "Do Not Disturb" placard on the doorknob.
A woman glanced a little too long in the direction of the passerby. Her companion, presumably her husband or boyfriend turned away, apparently jealous.
The rooster winked at the woman before exiting through the French doors. I've still got the touch, he thought. Women usually were unable to resist his looks and masculine energy. Of course, this particular female wouldn't receive any more attention from Lafayette. She was apparently normal. In other words, not good enough for the womanizer.
The vampire-warlock hailed a cab. "McCawber Manor, and step on it!"
The cabbie shivered. "That place gives me the creeps!"
Typical. "Just give me directions."
**************************************************************************** ***********
"Megavolt never knew what hit him!" Darkwing Duck bragged.
Morgana McCawber giggled. She enjoyed these yarns, even if she knew Darkwing was stretching the truth. Though not narcissistic, the ego was humorously overbearing. "What a prom night."
"You probably were on the arm of the most popular guy at Eldritch--"
The sorceress quickly changed the subject. "How's Gosalyn?"
"Aside from the fact one of her classmates ended up in the hospital after getting clonked during her shot put at school, fine." Darkwing opened his beak to ask about the abrupt subject change, but decided not to. After all, wasn't Morg only interested in him? There had been the time Negaduck had inhaled love potion, but she was only pretending. And that look on Negaduck's face when Morgana socked him in the beak was all too priceless.
The doorbell rang.
Morgana opened the door.
"Mademoiselle McCawber, you're lovely as ever. Miss me?"
"Hello there, Lafayette. What brings you to this city?" Morgana answered and asked, straining to keep the bitterness out of her voice.
"Why, it has taken me quite a few years to track vous down, my amour. I really DO feel guilty about what happened between us all zose years ago. I vish to have another chance with vous. I give vous my solemn word zat you will not regret giving moi zee chance to prove I really HAVE changed over the years." the half-vampire warlock began in his most convincing tone as he present Morgana with the flowers, candy and necklace he had brought for her.
"Well, it doesn't look like you've changed THAT much." Morgana silently thought to herself before commenting "I'm sorry, Lafayette, but I still have vivid memories of your betrayal back at the senior prom. Besides which, I DO have somebody else in my life now."
"Namely ME, buster." Darkwing blurted out, storming toward the warlock rooster before continuing directly in the womanizer's face "So I would suggest you watch yourself."
"My name iz Lafayette Plasimeaux, monsieur, and vous are..." Lafayette said in an even tone as he extended his hand. "Darkwing Duck; this city's resident top do-gooder AND Morg's current beau." the masked hero answered as he half-grudgingly accepted Lafayette's handshake.
"Well, Monsieur, I wish vous zee best of luck with Mademoiselle McCawber." the half-vampire said as he used his super-strength to add a bit more pressure to the handshake, causing Darkwing a certain amount of pain, though the caped canard was able to keep the pain from being visible on his face long enough to somehow manage to get his hand loose.
As Lafayette left, he silently added "Oui, Monsieur Darkwing. I believe vous will NEED all zee luck you can get." with an evil smile.
After the half-vampire warlock left, Darkwing saw the pained expression on the sorceress that has been the subject of all of his amorous fantasies for the last two years and asked in a concerned tone "Who IS this Lafayette Plasimeaux, honeywumpus? I can tell when you are unhappy, and I know there's something about this guy that seems to really rub you the wrong way."
"Well, you know how father told you how upset I was when I got stood up at the senior prom when you first visited my family, Dark?" Morgana asked.
"Well, yeah, but at the time, I thought he was just being sarcastic. Whoa, you mean THIS guy is the warlock who stood you up at your senior prom?" Darkwing answered and asked.
"Yes, Dark, darling. It's true. Lafayette Plasimeaux was my first, and ONLY OTHER, boyfriend. He was, as you put it, the most popular guy at Eldritch; a wealthy and powerful half-super-vampire warlock who, in addition to the magic he learned at Eldritch, also possesses eight times the power level of an ordinary high-level vampire. Unfortunately, he was also a shameless womanizer. Oh, I knew about his reputation, which is why it took him over a year to get me to even agree to a date with him. Still, I presumed that, considering the effort he went to just to get a date, he might have been sincere in changing his ways. We actually dated for a little over three years. However, at the senior prom, I finally found out that he had been pulling the wool over my eyes throughout most of the time we were dating. When I was stood up, I went looking for him, only to catch him in the act with my then-best-friend, Shelley Ghastly. I don't fault Shelley; she was helplessly under the influence of Lafayette's considerable mind powers until I caught them together. I knew all that from the mind scans I did on both of them while Lafayette's mental defenses were briefly down. Therefore, I focused my wrath on the double-dealing lout that would thereafter be known as my EX-boyfriend." Morgana explained truthfully.
"Enough said, Morg. Yeesh. No wonder you changed subjects so quickly when I brought up YOUR prom. I'm sorry, honeywumpus. I had no idea." Darkwing said tenderly.
"That's all right, Dark, darling. I've kept the truth from you for too long anyway." Morgana replied.
"Yeah, but I have this bad feeling that Mister Plasimeaux isn't going to give up easily." Darkwing stated matter-of-factly.
"You aren't the only one, Dark." the sorceress added with a nod before. **************************************************************************** ******** Meanwhile, back at his hotel suite, Lafayette was already making plans. "Zo, I have zee rival for Morgana's affections. oui? Zat could be a problem, but I have never backed down from zee challenge. I maybe too crafty to do zee dirty work myself, zince murdering Morgana current paramour myself would kill any chance of wooing her back to me. However, if Mademoiselle McCawber's current beau were to meet with zee unfortunate accident at other hands NOT directly connected to me, I could, how vous say, comfort her in her time of loss and woo her back to me in zat manner." the half-vampire warlock said as he started to make preparations to get his secret "dirty work crew" over to Saint Canard to deal with Darkwing.
Using his crystal ball (which he had stashed in a small compartment at the bottom of his coffin before converting said coffin to jet mode), Lafayette looked at Darkwing and Morgana with pure hatred toward the former in his eyes. As he watched the two lovers through the crystal ball, the half- vampire warlock said "After all, one has to, how vous say, KNOW one's enemy to have zee best chance of having zaid enemy eliminated."
Behind the mahogany door of the Laurel Room, Lafayette Plasimeaux smacked his forehead with one hand. "Vhat does she see in him?" He yawned, and dragged his coffin from its hiding place. "I better get some rest."
Lafayette's main energy source was blood, but he didn't have to "recharge" as often as a full vampire. One of the main advantages of being a hybrid. Not to worry, though. St. Canard was a teeming metropolis, full of sources of the red live-giving fluid. He slid into the coffin and soon drifted to sleep. Even if he wouldn't have to drink blood for a couple of days, he still needed his beauty sleep.
Several hours later, the rooster was jolted awake by the sound of his new rival's voice. He got up to view his crystal ball.
"Medeva, this is a long shot, but do you remember your sister's ex- boyfriend? Lafayette Plasimeaux?" Darkwing Duck was saying.
Medeva shrugged. "It was fifteen years ago, but yes. I never liked him. Always seemed slippery."
"Yeah. I'm beginning to get that idea."
"He showed up at Morgana's last night. She didn't look too happy."
"And I think he's the jealous type too. I suggest you watch your back."
"Medeva, I know this is a strange thing to ask, but it'll be too painful for Morg and your dad will probably just laugh at me," Darkwing sighed. "I have the feeling garlic won't stop Lafayette."
"You're right. He's only half vampire, if I remember correctly. He can actually stand sunshine. Though with that complexion of his, he 'd scorch if he stayed in the sun too long."
"Would it be possible to find anything on him? Like his weaknesses? Just in case."
"I'll see what I can dig up." Medeva entered the portal to Transylvania and was gone.
Lafayette put the crystal ball back in the compartment and smiled. "Clever. But not clever enough."
There was a knock on the door. The rooster answered it. "Gonzalo, Iris, Cinders! Come in!"
"Nice place you've got here," Iris, a petite and willowy cyclops, commented.
"Why'd you call us here?" asked Gonzalo in a Spanish accent. He looked like a normal duck. Come night, he'd turn into a terrifying werewolf.
"I've got a job for vous."
Cinders nodded. "Who do you want us to bump off this time?" As his name suggested, he was a dragon who could exhale fire at will.
"His name is Darkving Duck. A crimefighter. I vant you three to make sure he has an...accident on duty. But don't let him see vous. Make it look natural..."
Lafayette's three hitmonsters set out on their assignment and, that very evening started discreetly tailing Darkwing. "From what I heard from most of the thugs in this town, this Darkwing Duck is supposedly harder to kill than a 100-foot-tall cockroach and that there are no less than a dozen super-villains in prison who would vouch for that claim.." Iris commented matter-of-factly. "Yeah, but that's why Mister Plasimeaux sent for US; his three best hitmonsters. Besides at least we luck out in one area; we get well-paid for doing work that we normally have a lot of fun doing anyway." Cinders reminded Iris before they and Gonzalo continued to plan out what sort of "on-duty accident" they could arrange for Darkwing.
The three monsters followed Darkwing across one round of city patrol and discreetly watched him in action quite frequently during this round as the masked hero found and foiled six muggings, eight car-jackings and three bank robberies as well as two jewelry heists and a museum break-in. The trio of hitmonsters had to silently admit that, when that duck was at his best, he was very good indeed (committing the demonstrations of his skills upon so many of the crooks he's come across carefully to memory) and then left their dogged pursuit as to have a chance to prepare their "on-duty accident".
The cyclops, werewolf and dragon came across a well-kept ten-story orphanage filled with children as well as assorted orphanage staff. "Are you guys thinking what I'M thinking?" Cinders asked his two comrades when the trio of monsters saw the orphanage.
"I get it, Cinders; we slip out of sight, you set the orphanage of fire JUST as Darkwing happens by on his next patrol round and then, after Darkwing rushes into the burning building to save the kiddies and staff, you.... heh, heh, heh, add some more flames to the mix and use your dragon strength to shake things up a bit as well as to make the job even harder for that do-gooder. Between the flames and collapsing building, Darkwing will be finished for sure and his demise looks like the tragic accident the boss wants." Gonzalo replied.
"Very good, my lupine ally and, just in case there ARE any survivors, that's where you and Iris will come in. We can't chance any witnesses on this." the dragon explained
"When can we ever?" Iris and Gonzalo asked simultaneously with evil smiles as Darkwing's Ratcatcher motorcycle got ever closer to the orphanage.
Before Cinders started to work setting the orphanage on fire, he commented to his two comrades "But remember, we only eliminate the civilians if Darkwing ISN'T one of the survivors. If he is, then we simply slip away and try another trap later tonight.". To this, the werewolf and cyclops both merely nodded silently.
Once Darkwing was close enough to see the fire immediately, but not quite close enough to spot Cinders, the hitdragon unleashed ten well-aimed blasts of his flame breath which hit vital targets on each of the orphanage's ten floors.
Spotting the fire, the caped canard parked his Ratcatcher and commented "Well, looks like it's time for another death-defying mass-rescue of innocents courtesy of yours truly. Good thing I got my fireproof cape and hat back from the cleaners three nights ago." as he wrapped his cape fully around his body and heroically started to work saving the trapped orphans and staff.
After Darkwing went inside, Cinders let out ten more flame blasts that nailed other vital targets on each floor as to make the fire spread even faster. After Cinders finished that, he wasted no time in putting his dragon strength to work pushing and pulling on the building roof as to simulate the type of vibrations that would, as planned, make the masked hero's attempts to save the children and staff from the fire that much more challenging (i.e. causing a lot of shaking all throughout the already burning building).
"So, Cinders actually came up with a good trap with surefire bait, but, how about a game of odds and evens to decide who gets to plan the next attempt in the outside chance that Cinders fails?" Gonzalo suggested. "You're on, even if it IS a VERY outside chance," said Iris as the two hitmonsters started their game.
Darkwing kept close to the ground, trying not to inhale the smoke. It was difficult to see, as the orphanage was not only burning but also crumbling at a very fast rate. He crept toward a closed door that the flames hadn't reached and threw it open. The crimefighter groaned when he saw the room's occupants: several ducklings sleeping in bassinets. Darkwing picked up three -- the maximum he was sure he could hold without dropping anyone. One began to cry. "There, there. Darkwing Duck is here to save you."
The baby only cried louder. The other infants woke up and began to cry as well.
The caped canard gritted his teeth as he rigged a pulley system to send a bassinet with the inconsolable ducklings to the ground floor. He had to work fast, but the high-pitched wail of a fire engine told him the Fire Department had arrived. The sobbing was giving him a headache, not to mention the fire was consuming its way into the room.
Though it seemed like eternity, the fire was brought under control in fifteen minutes.
Cinders, Iris, and Gonzalo lurked at a safe distance to view their handiwork.
Iris gazed at the triumphant crimefighter brushing soot off his thankfully fireproofed cape. "Guess your incendiary abilities aren't what they used to be, Cind."
Cinder coughed out a puff of smoke. It would be a few hours before his lungs could produce more fire. "Hey, it was short notice. And it would have helped if you guys had brought a little insurance."
"I forgot my gasoline," muttered Gonzalo. "Anyway, what are we going to do? Lafayette will have our hides if we don't get rid of this guy!"
"Calm down, guys," replied Iris. She put on a straw hat and pulled the brim down so it shaded her single eye. She looked almost normal. "You guys run to the cliffs just outside of town. And when you hear our quarry poking around the rocks, get the drop on him."
The werewolf and the dragon nodded and left.
Iris ran toward Darkwing. "Sir! I need your help!"
"Anything to help a citizen. What can I do for you, ma'am?"
"My boys! My boys! They were collecting rocks for a science project on the outskirts and there was a landslide. They'll suffocate."
"Say no more, Miss. Darkwing Duck will rescue your brood!" The crimefighter leaped on the Ratcatcher and drove off.
Iris smirked. "Just like my cousin Polyphemus."
Ten minutes later, Cinders pushed a rock. "This is hard work."
Gonzalo pointed down, where a blur of purple can be seen. "Let's roll out the welcome rock."
Cinders shoved the rock down. It rolled noisily toward Darkwing, who saw it in time and leaped aside.
Gonzalo threw down a small boulder, which the crimefighter didn't see.
However, the boulder glanced off just above Darkwing's head, as if bouncing off an invisible helmet.
Iris came toward them, puffing and panting. "What's the situation?"
Cinders arched an eyebrow. "This Darkwing Duck is normal, right?"
"Yeah. So?"
Gonzalo groaned and shoved another boulder down. It rolled directly at the target, then suddenly curved away. "His girlfriend must have cloaked him with some sort of immunity!"
"But you can't make a normal immortal!" protested Iris.
"True," conceded Cinders. "Immunity spells are generally temporary and even so can't prevent certain types of deaths. Unfortunately, 'crushed by rocks' is prevented by this one. Maybe drowning isn't. Let's just grab him and toss him in Audubon Bay!"
"He's a duck!" snapped Gonzalo. "He probably floats!"
"What are we supposed to do?" Iris asked. "The only one who'd know which method of execution the immunity spell can't safeguard against is probably the witch who cast it. Unless you want to do trial and error, but someone's bound to get suspicious."
"Maybe we should just wait it out," suggested Cinders.
Lafayette listened to their conversation through his crystal ball. "Good thinking, Morgana." He waved his hand over the ball. Now he could see Medeva scribbling notes from a record book onto a notepad. "If she finds out what my weaknesses are and she passes zat information on to Darkwing, I might be at a disadvantage. Hmm, zis is challenging. But, as always, I'm one step ahead."
Shortly following Cinder, Iris and Gonzalo's second failed attempt to
kill him (though he didn't know for certain that the burning/collapsing
building and the falling rocks were deliberate attempts on his life [he
might have partially suspected, but he had no solid proof to confirm that
this was more than mere paranoia; the hitmonsters did that part of their
assignment right, at any rate), Darkwing returned to his home at 537
Avian Way, changed back into Drake Mallard and caught a two hour nap
before preparing breakfast for Gosalyn.
"Boy, in my heart of hearts, I just know that this Lafayette Plasimeaux
will be big trouble. I mean, I still remember when the last
supernaturally-powered individual to show an interest in Morg popped up
in my city. Stoney Standstill was as strong as Stegmutt and Gizmoduck
combined in addition to being able to produce low-level earthquakes and
turn people to stone temporarily. Luckily for me, Stoney was also as
simple-minded as Steggers. Somehow, though, I don't think I'm going to
have that sort of luck with Mister Plasimeaux." Drake silently thought to
himself as he went to wake up Gosalyn. "Morning, dad. Busy night last night?" the eleven-year-old asked upon waking up herself.
"Yeah, Gos. I'm just lucky that I remembered to wear my fireproof cape and that protection spell Morg put on me the night before last to repel impact attacks held up." Drake admitted.
"Night before last? I thought that spell was cast on you two months ago." Gosalyn inquired before digging into her breakfast.
"No, Gos. You're thinking of the spell Morgana cast on me to render me immune to mind control. You know, the spell she cast just hours before that time-travel adventure that temporarily stranded the Justice Ducks in Ancient Greece. In retrospect, that spell saved my tail-feathers when it came to dealing with those sirens." Drake reminded his pre-teen adopted daughter.
"Oh, yeah. I remember now. Actually, I also remember Morg telling me that she also found the ingredients needed for the formula to make the anti-mind- control spell permanent during that trip." Gos recalled.
"True, and I'm glad she did. I WAS getting as fed up as Morg about the villains using mind control on me." Drake confessed.
"Actually, dad, I think she might have been more concerned about the VILLAINESSES using that mind control tactic on you." the spirited pre-teen half-teased.
"True, Gos and I was concerned about that myself. I was actually including both villain genders in my previous statement." Drake reminded.
As Gosalyn finished her breakfast, she said "Boy, I've never known LP to sleep through a meal. That pilot's convention in Cape Suzette; which he just got back from while you were on patrol last night; must have REALLY taken it out of him."
"No kidding, Gos. Oh, well, I'll save him some breakfast so that he can heat it up in the microwave when he wakes up." Drake said as he scraped the breakfast leftovers into a Quackerware bowl from a line that Drake bought from Herb simply because Drake had just gotten back from a particularly rough SHUSH mission and wanted to shut Herb up quickly so that he could actually have a chance to get to sleep. Gosalyn smirked at the fact that Drake was actually making use of the Quackerware Herb sold him, but she refrained from actually commenting.
As Gosalyn saw the bus coming, she dashed for it "Well, dad, the football team has a big game against our arch-rivals from Duckburg after school today, so I'd better get going." as she looked around to make sure that nobody but her adoptive father was looking and then firmly hugged him. That out of the way, the pre-teen then made a dash for the bus; making it just as the bus pulled up to the driveway.
************************************************
Meanwhile, at Lafayette's hotel room, the half-vampire warlock already had his next plan brewing in his mind. Since his hitmonsters failed to stop Darkwing, he would discreetly start to work instigating a rift between his rival and his ex-girlfriend. He had to plan it carefully, so that it wouldn't look like he had anything to do with the rift, but at the same time, he was also racing the clock because he wanted to get Darkwing out of the picture before Medeva dug up anything that could used to the masked hero's advantage. After instigating this rift, perhaps, just to make sure Darkwing didn't have a chance to start to work undoing the rift, the womanizer could also mastermind the .... pre-mature releases of every super- villain locked away in Saint Canard's new SUPER-maximum-security super- villain prison, which was virtually every super-criminal in Saint Canard. Surely, Darkwing COULDN'T handle protecting the innocent citizenry of his precious city from all of these escaped villains AND be able to patch things up with Morgana. NO super-hero could be THAT good.
That thought brought a huge smile to the half-vampire warlock's beak.
At the maximum-security supervillain guard numbly walked down an aisle of cells, stopping in front of one. He unlocked. "You're free to go."
The cell's occupant, Public Enemy Number Two, looked surprised. "What?"
The guard only stared blankly, as if mesmerized.
Negaduck shrugged. He wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth. He walked right out the prison doors, then ducked into the bushes outside.
"Ah, Monsieur. I've been expecting vous," came a voice with a thick French accent.
"Who are you?" asked the yellow-coated duck.
"Is zat any vay to address the one who broke you out?"
"How'd you do that? It's not every day I can just walk out of prison!"
"Hypnosis," replied the half-vampire rooster. "Mon nom est Lafayette Plasimeaux. I've got a preposition for vous."
"If it involves dressing up like Darkwing Duck to have him jailed, forget it. I've done it so many times the police are used to it."
"Acquainted with Morgana McCawber?"
"Know her, hate her. Why?"
"Morgana and I were once lovers, but we broke up following a...quarrel." Lafayette smiled mischievously. "She's too interested in her current boyfriend to get back together with me. But if she were to catch her boyfriend in the act with another girl..."
"So you want me to impersonate Darkwing and pitch woo to someone besides Morg?"
"Precisely."
"What's in it for me?"
Lafayette produced a check.
The yellow-coated duck glanced over it. "That's a comma, right?"
"Oui."
"I'll do it!" Negaduck declared firmly.
"Magnifique!"
"Now who should it be?"
"Anyone will do. There's plenty of women at any given time."
"Been a while since I've had to lather on the charm, but I'll do my best." **************************************************************************** ** Ring, ring.
Drake jolted awake from his nap and picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"Darkwing? It's Medeva. I finished that background check on Lafayette."
"Find anything useful?"
"You decide. Lafayette is the son of Jacques Plasimeaux -- a Parisian supervampire -- and his wife Angelique Le Fay. Angelique's descended from Morgan Le Fay, the half-sister of King Arthur. They moved from France to Transylvania. Since his teens, Lafayette's been able to charm almost any woman who lays eyes on him. He and my sister dated for around three years before the big break-up. Take what she's done to you, multiply it by ten, and you might scratch the surface of what she did to her ex. He spent several weeks in the hospital."
"Any idea what his weaknesses are?"
"Well, this is gonna sound cliche, but he's vulnerable to wooden stakes and fire. He also has to avoid silver-tipped weapons. Not to mention the fact he must consume blood regularly to keep his strength."
"I don't want to kill him. Just defend myself."
Medeva sighed. "He can't use his magic if his hands are securely tied, if that helps. But I'm warning you. Lafayette Plasimeaux is extremely powerful."
"I figured that."
"He's got super-strength, as well as incredible mind powers. Can bring inanimate objects to life, as well as shoot fire, ice, and lightening bolts. Grim, I know."
"Thanks for the warning."
"Don't mention it. I do prefer you for a brother-in-law over that...Killer Diller. Good luck. You're gonna need it."
Click.
"Brother-in-law? How did Medeva know I already bought the ring? I mean I've spent five weeks quietly practicing my proposal speech, but I haven't told anybody about my intentions. Oh well, that might have just been a lucky guess. At any rate, I have more pressing matters at hand at present." Drake silently thought before he headed up to Darkwing Tower to make preparations in case Lafayette tried anything. The silver weakness might be exploitable if he laced the silver with weapons designed to detain or harmlessly subdue rather than kill.
Fortunately, he still had a few canisters of silver-vapor-laced knockout gas and a few steel-and-silver alloy cable bolas left over from when he had to battle that werewolf motorcycle gang six months earlier. With any luck, the silver in the bolas would counteract his vampire powers and the reinforced steel in those same bolas will prove strong enough to at least slow Lafayette down. Plus, if he aimed just right, he could tie the half- vampire's arms securely enough to prevent him from using any magic.
After making sure to load his gas gun with the silver-vapor-laced knockout gas and slipping some sets of his special bolas in his jacket, Darkwing then started preparing some diluted napalm cartridges to exploit the fire weakness without killing Lafayette (if he aimed the cartridges containing the diluted napalm at non-vital areas such as the shoulder or knees, that could do the trick). As he worked on his preparations, Darkwing was taken by surprise by a sultry sounding voice that came behind him.
"Dark, darling. I believe I got a summons to meet you here." Morgana replied.
Though caught by surprise, Darkwing still managed to maintain just enough composure not to drop any cartridges or beakers. "Morg? Honeywumpus? I mean, yes I'm glad you're here. Any opportunity we have to be alone for a while is absolutely great in my book. Plus, I do have to thank you for that protection spell you put on me to protect me from impact attacks. That really saved my tailfeathers when it came to that rock slide. Therefore, I can't exactly complain about the fact that I didn't actually call." the masked hero replied.
"But, I did, Mister Mallard." Honker replied as he stepped in. He had gotten home from school just a few minutes earlier and, having heard about Lafayette from Gosalyn (who had heard about him from Drake the morning after the half-vampire rooster showed up at Morgana's door), had done some thinking on the matter while at school (fortunately, the eleven-year-old genius had gotten so used to thinking about theories on how to help Drake and Gosalyn with their problems that he knew how to compartmentalize his thoughts so that he could focus on both doing his schoolwork and helping his friends), called up Morgana after he got home and took the secret route to Darkwing Tower (Drake locked the doors to the house, but Honker was such a good friend of Gosalyn's that Drake had an extra key made for Honker).
"Forgive my going over your head on this one, Mister Mallard, but I had to explain my theory on Mister Plasimeaux's plan and wanted both you and Ms. McCawber present so that you could save some breath explaining matters to Ms. McCawber later." Honker said politely.
Darkwing nodded, knowing that Honker had very good instincts about this sort of stuff. True, the caped canard's ego was rather overblown, but he had learned how to at least pocket enough of his arrogance to actually listen to Honker when he had something important to say. "Quite understandable in this case. Proceed, Honker." Darkwing said quietly.
"Thank you, Mister Mallard. Anyway, my theory is that, if Mister Plasimeaux wants to get back together with Ms. McCawber, the only two ways he could have a chance of doing that would be if you were to have a fatal on-duty accident and he were to comfort her in her time of grief or if there were a rather large rift between you two. If he already tried, but failed the on- duty accident route, he might try to discreetly CAUSE a rift between you two that would allow him a chance at wooing Ms. McCawber back to him. The best way to cause such a rift would be to frame Darkwing for infidelity. For that, however, he would need somebody who looked enough like Darkwing to fool even Ms. McCawber briefly. He would then most likely complete the ruse by focus enough of his mind powers on the lookalike's brain to fool her mind scans while watching unobserved. Once the rift was caused, Mister Plasimeaux would THEN need someway of keeping Darkwing too otherwise occupied to focus on fixing things with Ms. McCawber. The best way to do that would be with an army of super-villains operating separately all over Saint Canard. Of course, with almost all of the super-villains in prison, he would have to have all those villains broken out." Honker explained.
"But he would discreetly break my diabolical double, Negaduck, out first so that he could enlist Negs's aid in framing me for infidelity. Brilliant work, Honker." Darkwing admitted just as his crime computer picked up an alarm from the prison. Apparently, one of the other guards finally saw the entranced state of the guard at Negaduck's cell and sounded the alarm.
"Blast it. Negaduck has already been freed. Not only do I have to deal with an insanely jealous vampire warlock, but my despicable doppelganger as well." Darkwing grumbled.
"Well, we know Lafayette's plan NOW, Dark, so I propose we set up an elaborate ruse to make him think he succeeded in causing a rift between us. This will result in him getting overconfident and we will be able to use that to our advantage." Morgana commented.
"But what about the rest of the super-villains? Somebody has to stop them from getting broken out, too." Darkwing pointed out.
"Stegmutt and Launchpad can handle that end." Morgana answered.
"And don't forget about the Quiverwing Quack and the Arrow Kid." Gosalyn said over her communicator.
Apparently, the communicator picked up the alarm at the prison too.
"Absolutely not, little missy. This is too dangerous. Who knows what kind of monstrous minions that blood-sucking sorcerous schemer might have waiting in the wings. Besides, you've got a game starting in an hour, remember?".
"First, I can fake something to get me out of the game so that I can change into costume and get to that prison. Second, Honker, Stegmutt, Launchpad and I can all keep a careful eye on each other so that we can all ensure each other's safety and be in a better position to make sure not a single one of the other villains gets back to the outside." Gosalyn pointed out.
Darkwing sighed. Gosalyn's arguing skills have improved a bit too much.
Behind the mahogany door of the Laurel Room at the Black Water Inn, Lafayette was pacing. Each step seemed to be a struggle.
The half-vampire knew he needed blood, and soon.
There was a knock on the door.
The rooster shoved the coffin back into its hiding place under the four- poster bed. "It's open."
The maid entered, and began to dust. Suddenly, she felt herself being pinned to the wall. Too startled to cry out, she turned her head.
The hotel guest was closing in on the housekeeper, mouth opened -- exposing two sharp teeth. The teeth were too long to be canine. Fangs, the victim realized. ******************************************************************* "Let me get this straight," Magica de Spell was saying. "You want me to pretend we're dating?"
"Yes," replied Negaduck impatiently. He was still wearing his usual outfit.
"What's in it for me?"
"Magica, if you go along with this, I'll see what I can do about...that dime you're always complaining about."
The witch didn't hesitate. "Is deal!"
"One more thing." Negaduck took off his red fedora and replaced it with an identical gray one. "Call me Darkwing." ******************************************************************* Meanwhile, the real Darkwing loaded the final diluted napalm cartridge. "There."
Morgana re-entered. "Launchpad, Stegmutt, and the kids are waiting at the prison. Nothing suspicious yet." She moved toward a large telescope. "Now. I spy with my little eye...something purple!"
Just below them, Negaduck -- now fully dressed in purple jacket, teal turtleneck, and dark cape -- was offering a box to Magica de Spell. "I saw this in the window of Nales -- and I had to buy it for you!"
Magica opened the tiny box. It contained a ring -- a carved onyx in the shape of a bat on a band of gold. "Ooh! I am loving it! It's just what I've always wanted! Is...me!" She leaped into Negaduck's arms, who caught her. They kissed.
Morgana snickered. "Did Lafayette really think I'd believe that?"
"So we fool Lafayette into thinking that his plan's working?" asked Darkwing.
"Yes. His ego's probably worse than yours."
"Hey! Quackule Poirot had a little harmless vanity, so why can't I?"
Morgana teleported in on Magica and the disguised Negaduck with a look of convincingly faked anger in her eyes. In a voice of feigned anger, Morgana then exclaimed "So, it's bad enough yet cheat on me, you caped chiseler, but you have to cheat on me with Magica DeSpell? I would have thought you'd AT LEAST have better taste than THAT, you purple-clad gigilo." with sparks of green energy crackling from her fingertips.
Magica, meanwhile, blocked Morgana's mystic bolts with some of her own. Remembering her deal with Negaduck, she retorted "Back off, McCawber. This is MY duck.". Negaduck tossed a flare on to the street, but Morgana; half- expecting Negaduck to pull some dirty trick, had already shielded her own eyes, but still pretended to be blinded.
"Come on, Magica, darling, let's vamoose." the disguised Negaduck said as Magica cooked up two controlled whirlwinds to provide herself and Negaduck, transportation.
"Zere. Zat should how vous say, start zee fireworks popping most rapidly, oui? I must applaud your tastes, Monsieur Negaduck. Mademoiselle DeSpell would have been zee type of woman I might have picked out myself." Lafayette said quietly as he discreetly watched the scene with a smile.
**************************************
The real Darkwing arrived at McCawber Manor with flowers for his part when Morgana appeared in a flash of green light, still with faked anger in her eyes. "Hello, honeywumpus. How are you this fine night?" Darkwing said as he presented her the flowers.
"Don't "'honeywumpus'" me, you two-timer. I caught you with Magica DeSpell just three minutes ago." Morgana exclaimed as she started firing mystic bolts aimed close enough to look like she was trying to nail the masked hero, but still purposely fall JUST short.
"Magica DeSpell? I have no idea what you are talking about, Morg." Darkwing said in feigned nervousness.
"Don't bother lying about it, playbird. I've scanned your mind. I know it WAS you and that you have seeing her for MONTHS behind my back!" the sorceress shouted in still-faked anger.
Lafayette chuckled quietly from his hiding place just outside McCawber Manor, thinking that his efforts to use his own mind powers to fool Morgana's mind scan worked like a charm.
"Mind scan? Morg? Are you sure you're feeling all right?" Darkwing asked, trying to maintain the acting job he and Morgana were putting on for the hidden Lafayette.
Firing yet another zap, this one unleashing a cloud of black smoke so that Darkwing could have some cover to apply his make-up, Morgana exclaimed "Well, since you seem to care more about Ms. DeSpell than me, then WE'RE through." pretending to storm into her house.
From his hiding place, Lafayette turned himself into a wolf and made a dash back to the hotel he was currently staying at. Fortunately, immediately after he sucked every last drop of blood from the maid's body, he changed into a giant bat, carefully flew the drained maid to a vacant lot just two blocks from the hotel and then used a fireball to incinerate the body. Lafayette then changed back into a bat, flew back to the hotel and used his mind powers to ensure that everybody would have the message firmly planted in their brains that Lafayette was the FIFTH-to-last individual to see the maid (just in case the police get called in by the maid's relatives [providing she had any living relatives]) and even added a little added suggestion to the mind of the fourth guest after him so that said other guest would actually believe HE was the real killer.
*****************************************
Lafayette used his crystal ball to get a message out to Iris, Gonzalo and Cinders to proceed with the second part of his plan; the mass release of every other villain in Saint Canard.
At the Tower, Darkwing then commented "Well, that's one end of the problem taken care of. Between Honker's intellect, Stegmutt's strength, Gosalyn's spirit and Launchpad's heart, the four of them as a team can handle almost anything. Now WE have to deal with Lafayette himself as well as both Magica and Negaduck; a tough job even for the combined efforts of the both of us."
"Don't you mean the combined efforts of ALL THREE of us, Wingy?" a familiar- sounding voice said as Darkwing heard a purring motor and the screech of a tire.
"GIZMODUCK?! What are you doing on my turf?" Darkwing exclaimed questioningly.
"Just making sure Magica and Negaduck don't get a chance to try for Mister McDuck's first dime. As soon as Morgana found out that Negaduck had picked out Magica to aid him in his devious duplicity, she called me up on my 555- GZMO hotline just to warn me to keep an extra sharp eye on the dime. I just took the next step and decided to prevent them from making a try AT ALL." the armored do-gooder answered honestly.
Darkwing grumbled and fumed a bit, but from what he learned about Lafayette from Medeva, he knew that he couldn't afford to be overly careless with this villain, especially if he were allied with both Magica and Negaduck. Thus, for once, he decided to pocket his pride and accept Gizmoduck's help. Three-on-three DID sound like better odds than three-on-TWO after all. With that thought in mind, Darkwing extended his hand and said "Just this once, Giz. JUST THIS ONCE."
"How did plan work, dah-link?" asked Magica. She and Negaduck had joined Lafayette at the Black Water Inn.
"Perfectly," replied the half-vampire. "Morgana's all mine now. Darkwing's probably in the Emergency Room by now thanks to your...acting performance." The rooster chuckled. "I'm off to cherchez la femme. You two stay five paces behind me in case there's any trouble."
**************************************************************************** **************
"OK, it's my turn," Quiverwing announced. "Stegmutt, would you rather eat a week-old peanut butter and meatball sandwich or a bag of potting soil?"
"Hmm, toughie. I'd go with the old sandwich," replied the dinosaur. "My turn! Ooh, boy! Launchpad, would you rather eat a rotten apple or a month- old bowl of pasta?"
Launchpad, usually a bottomless pit, clutched his stomach. "Whose idea was it to play this game?"
There was a creak.
"I think we've got company," commented the Arrow Kid.
Cinders, thin of frame, slid in through the cracked-open window, then opened it all the way. Iris and Gonzalo slipped inside.
"Let's get this jailbreak quickly," said Iris. "All these bars make me nervous."
"Well, you'll be seeing a lot of them!" announced Quiverwing.
Gonzalo reached into his pocket and pulled out a moonstone talisman. The talisman had the power to change him into a wolf during the day, though he became one naturally every night.
Stegmutt hadn't noticed the intruders, but he had noticed a drinking fountain. "I'm thirsty!" He eagerly grabbed the lever, but pulled it out instead of pushing it down. The basin fell from the wall, releasing a huge amount of water, most of it near Cinders.
The dragon gasped. His breath, once formidable flame, was nothing but steam. "Oh, great." He felt himself being grabbed by the neck.
Stegmutt banged Cinders up and down on the prison walls. "Put out the dragon!"
"But I haven't any fire left!" squeaked out the former fire breather before passing out.
Quiverwing effortlessly fired a bola arrow to tie up the lupine Gonzalo. The Arrow Kid handed her a paint-arrow, which she fired at Iris.
The paint splattered in Iris' one eye. Her hand wiped it off. "Ugh." She pulled out a single contact lens. "Curses." The cyclops stumbled and slammed into a wall.
Launchpad shrugged. "I guess even cyclops-es have vision problems."
"It's cyclopi," corrected the Arrow Kid.
***************************************************************************
Morgana led Darkwing and Gizmoduck into a foyer near her main hall. "Just wait here." Ding-dong. "Right on cue." Some things never change, she thought bitterly. The sorceress floated to her front door and opened it. Just as suspected.
Lafayette handed her a new bouquet of roses. "Morgana, ma cherie. I heard about your break-up. I knew that Darkwing Duck was trouble. Cheating on you with that Mademoiselle DeSpell!"
Morgana frowned. "Takes one to know one, eh, Lafayette?"
"I was young and foolish back then. Let's let bygones be bygones."
"I gave you one chance with me, Plasimeaux. You blew it."
"Surely you can't blame me for that...kiss with Shelley."
"Our relationship was over before it even began. When I said I wouldn't forgive you for it, I meant it." Morgana's voice grew sharper. "You didn't tell me the truth for one minute."
"But, mon amour!"
"Don't try to sweet-talk me. You may be older and wiser now, but I am too."
"You can't still have feelings for that purple-cloaked buffoon!"
"For one thing, Darkwing didn't cheat on me. That was Negaduck kissing Magica on the bridge."
"But --" Lafayette realized that the scenes of Morgana's fury he had witnessed were all acts. He muttered a swear word in French.
Morgana shook her head. "I've heard it all before. Did you really think I'm unable to tell the difference between the love of my life and his rotten-to- the-core lookalike?"
"Morgana--"
The sorceress turned away. "I can't hear you anymore."
Typical female fickleness, thought Lafayette.
Negaduck and Magica were listening in.
"Guess she knew more than she was letting on," observed Magica.
"What is it about him that makes the average chick swoon anyway?" hissed Negaduck.
"The accent," replied Magica. "Don't you know French is a popular accent with the ladies?"
"No, I didn't. Does this qualify as trouble?"
"I think so."
Lafayette merely commented "Zen, Mademoiselle macabre, I shall take my leave." as he gave a discreet gesture of his right hand to signal Negaduck and Magica to make their move. Magica launched her attack first, firing mystic bolts that Morgana easily blocked with well-timed mystic shields, but this was merely cover for Negaduck to sneak in and try to take Morgana from behind. Fortunately, this was precisely the type of reason that Morgana had requested that Darkwing and Gizmoduck remained in hiding. Still, Darkwing reasoned that, if Magica and Negaduck failed, somebody like Lafayette wouldn't have any qualms about using his magic to somehow destroy the mansion and everybody in it from a distance.
"Okay, Gizmo, you handle Neg. I'll look for and deal with Lafayette." Darkwing whispered as Gizmoduck started using his bionic extension arms to secure his frequent rival's evil lookalike just before the villain could get into position to launch an attack on Org. Negaduck struggled a bit before finally managing to get out his .44 magnum and fired at the armored duck's single tire. Gizmoduck thus tripped up, Negaduck then whipped out two bazookas and fired them both at point-blank range. Though the armor WAS somewhat damaged by this attack Giz still was able to get off two quick blasts from his finger laser-cannon and destroy the bazookas before Negaduck could get off another blast.
Outside McCawber Manor, Darkwing spotted a finger sticking out of one of the bushes and tossed a flare in the bush's direction. The resulting blinding flash flushed Lafayette out completely and also threw him off just before he could use his earth and wind control powers to launch a combination earthquake and hurricane at McCawber Manor.
"So, Monsieur Darkwing, vous wish to harass me, oui?" the half-vampire warlock said.
"When somebody is threatening the life of the woman that I love, you can most certainly bet I AM going to, as you said, harass them, Mister Plasimeaux." Darkwing said in a dead serious tone.
"I have no idea what vous are talk'n about, mon ami." Lafayette said as to make sure that, in case Darkwing had a tape recorder on him, the masked hero couldn't get any comments that could concretely connect him to anything illegal.
"Safe it, Cluckula. It takes more than some plasma pirating pinhead to get the better of THIS crime-fighter." Darkwing said as he started to dodge a "homing tornado" conjured up by Lafayette.
As Darkwing dodged the Tornado he fired one of the silver-vapor-laced knockout gas canisters from his gas gun at the warlock. Though the half- vampire thought to wear nose filters, this DID still obscure enough of his vision to get him to temporarily call off his whirlwind. Lafayette fired a freeze bolt that missed Darkwing by mere inches but created a large pile of ice behind the caped canard that the warlock could bring to live as a monstrous ice giant.
Meanwhile, Morgana, still blocking Magica's bolts with her mystic shields, managed to cause the ground underneath her sorcerous rival to move slightly, but still just enough to give herself an opening to nail Magica with a dead-on mystic bolt of her own. Magica managed to get a partial mystic field up in time to block just enough of the blast to still be conscious, but Morgana still had enough of an opening to get in another zap and this one DID knock Magica out for the count.
Negaduck, during most of the fight between Morgana and Magica, was playing a game of "bomb-juggling tennis" with Gizmoduck (i.e. he kept trying to throw bombs at the armored hero, but Giz used his built-in tennis racket to keep swatting the bombs back at Negaduck, who was swatting the bombs back at his armored opponent in return with his own tennis racket while continuing to continue to throw bombs with his free hand). Once it got up to a dozen bombs being swatted back and forth, however, Negs switched tactics and threw a vile of acid which ate right through the strings on Gizmoduck's tennis racket. When all twelve of the bombs got through and went off all around Giz, the only-minor damage inflicted by the two point- blank bazooka shells and the more serious tire damage done by Negaduck's .44 magnum slug right in said tire was noticeably worsened, just as Negaduck planned from the start. "You're despicable." the armored hero said in a dazed voice as he collapsed.
"Well, that's somebody else's line, but you're right, I AM despicable." Negaduck said with a smile as he started to move in for the proverbial AND literal kill; courtesy of his 4000-horsepower, double-diamond-tipped buzzsaw, only to see said weapon get vaporized by a mystic bolt and to get blasted from behind himself by a whirlwind cooked up by Morgana (who, obviously, also provided the mystic bolt that destroyed Neg's buzzsaw) and sent flying right out on front of Gizmoduck, who managed to muster up enough strength to regain consciousness just long enough get in a spring- loaded boxing glove shot that nailed Negaduck squarely on the beak and sent him flying outside.
Still dodging Lafayette's ice beast, Darkwing managed to get off another shot from his gas gun; this one with a diluted napalm cartridge; that nailed the half-vampire right on the left shoulder. The flames, though put out well before they would have become lethal, still distracted the warlock just long enough for the caped canard to get in a superb leg sweep, which tripped Lafayette up just long enough for Darkwing to get in a beautiful elbow smash right in the back of his opponent's neck.
Admittedly, these non-fire attacks annoyed the half-vampire more than they actually hurt him, but that's what Darkwing was counting on as he dodged one of his opponent's flame blasts (which, instead, hit the ice giant that Lafayette was using to help him). The masked hero then grabbed Lafayette's cape and wrapped it around his half-vampire foe's legs, which tripped him up enough for Darkwing to remove the nose filters from Lafayette's beak, but nothing more.
Slowly, the warlock's temper started getting the better of him. He couldn't believe he was getting humiliated in battle by a "normal". In a fit of rage, the half-vampire grabbed a twenty-ton tree and ripped it right out of the ground with the intent of using it as a club. However, as Darkwing dodged the first few attempted swings, he also noticed Morgana coming in fast and blasting up the ground around Lafayette, causing the warlock to start shaking in fear and actually drop the uprooted tree on himself accidentally. "(gulp) Hooo-boy. Take it easy, Mademoiselle McCawber. Your amor was zee one to start it. I was merely defending myself." Lafayette said nervously even though, technically, the first part of his statement (Darkwing starting it) WAS true.
Darkwing took advantage of Lafayette's cowardice and loaded up his gas gun with another silver-vapor-laced knockout gas cartridge. Drawing careful aim, Darkwing fired the gas at the half-vampire warlock and watched as the villain fell unconscious.
The trouble was that Negaduck hadn't fallen unconscious when he was smacked with that spring-loaded boxing glove; merely went flying outside. Darkwing's villainous double had revived Magica, reasoning to himself that her magic would be their best bet to escape and then saw that Lafayette had fallen unconscious. The revived Magica morphed into a giant condor with Negaduck on her back and then flew up to the unconscious Lafayette as Negs threw down a bomb containing his usual red smoke. By the time the smoke cleared, all three villains were gone.
"Blast it. I can't believe we went to all that trouble and my double- dealing doppleganger, that dime-desiring dark arts mistress and that womanizer wizard all made a clean getaway." Darkwing said as he smacked himself in the face. "They might have gotten away, Dark, but at least we foiled their schemes and I think it'll be a while before they try anything in Saint Canard again." Morgana said comfortingly, to which Darkwing could only nod agreeingly. After all, he didn't want anything to interrupt him and Morgana the following night; the night that he had spent more than five weeks preparing himself for; not just purchasing the ring but also memorizing his speech for those aforementioned five weeks.
Lafayette stormed into the Laurel Room, with his two companions behind. "That wretched duck!" He snatched a glass vase from a table and hurled into the wall, where it shattered. He shot a fireball at the nightstand, reducing it to a heap of ashes.
"Like Morgana McCawber's even worth all that trouble," Negaduck commented, leaning on the doorframe.
Magica agreed. "Like the French say. C'est la vie. What about my dime?!"
"Fat chance of getting it anytime soon," Negaduck observed. "With Gizmoduck paying an unexpected visit."
Magica stomped her foot. "I want that dime!"
Lafayette took the angry witch's hand. "Why, Mademoiselle DeSpell, I'll be willing to get that dime for you. And I've enough money to get you a thousand dimes."
Negaduck looked disgusted. "Oh, geeze."
***********************************************************
The next night, Morgana scanned the dinner menu. "What's escargo?"
"Snails," replied her boyfriend. "It's something of a status symbol to be able to eat really gross stuff."
"And you say my food's bad."
Darkwing reached into the pocket of his purple jacket, where he had kept the velvet box. "Morg." He suddenly panicked. I forgot what I'm supposed to say! After practicing for five weeks!
"I think I know what you're trying to say, Dark. The expression you had coming here made me curious, so I scanned your mind."
Darkwing sheepishly opened the black box. A gold ring set with a cluster of diamonds was nestled on a satin bed. "Will you marry me?"
The sorceress grabbed him and brought her beak to his. The kiss lasted for a minute.
The caped canard blushed. "I'll take that as a yes."
The end
This same rooster came up to what looked like an ordinary coffin, poured some dirt he brought over from Paris into the coffin and pressed a button on the coffin that converted it into a miniature jet. Grabbing a large bouquet of flowers, an expensive looking diamond necklace and a ten-pound box of sweets, he placed the aforementioned items in the coffin-jet and started the take-off sequence all the while reflecting on what happened between him and the object of his pursuit so many years ago.
The rooster, named Lafayette Plasimeaux, was a powerful half-vampire warlock who had a well-deserved reputation as the Eldritch Academy playbird when he first met Morgana McCawber. Though he was strongly attracted to her from the start, she resisted him at first, knowing full well about his ladies' bird reputation.
Eventually, after over a year of wooing the sorceress, trying to impress her with displays of both academic and athletic prowess as well as showering her with all sorts of expensive gifts (in addition to being a powerful warlock and being half-vampire, he was also rather wealthy), Morgana ultimately agreed to ONE date with Lafayette and Lafayette made sure that she had such a good time that she wouldn't mind another date. Well, each date led to more and, eventually, Lafayette Plasimeaux and Morgana McCawber were officially boyfriend/girlfriend.
Eventually, though, after she and Lafayette had been dating for a touch over three years, she finally realized that this leopard hadn't truly changed his spots after all. Not only did Lafayette stand her up at the senior prom, but when she finally tracked him down, he was caught in the act with her then best friend, Shelley Ghastly. Lafayette and Shelley were both so shocked that Morgana could finally take advantage of his temporary drop in mental defenses and scan his mind. This no-good ladies' bird had been fooling around on Morgana throughout much of the time the two had been dating, but this was just the first time she caught him in the act.
"I could eventually forgive you standing me up, Lafayette, but NOT THIS." Morgana said quietly before she started zapping the daylights out of him.
"But, my beloved... owwww! ouch! ouch!..... I can explain. I was trying to explain to Mademoiselle Ghastly that ..... yeooow! Owwww! ...... she was barking up zee wrong tree with moi but ..... ohhhhh!.... She would not take non for an answer.... YEEOOOOW!" Lafayette tried to alibi through the zaps.
"Save it, Lafayette. I scanned your mind. Not only did you have the audacity to seduce my best friend, but you have lie about it." Morgana said as she unleashed two bolts of mystic energy four times the size of basketballs on her double-dealing now ex-boyfriend and she floated away from the sordid scene.
"Well, zat was over fifteen years ago, oui?" Lafayette said to himself (referring to the "getting caught in the act with Morg's best friend" incidently). "Surely, she MUST have forgiven me by now. Zerefore, next stop.... Saint Canard." the half-vampire warlock finished as he started his coffin jet toward the aforementioned city.
The day was dawning as the coffin-jet landed. The pilot blinked. Being only half-vampire, he was able to stay out in the sunshine but still preferred the night.
The Black Water Inn was a renovated old hotel, converted from a simple bed and breakfast to practically a luxury resort motel. It boasted tennis courts, a swimming pool, and antique furniture. Lafayette Plasimeaux, accustomed to living the high life and having enough money to do so, decided to book a room. Each of the rooms was named after a species of tree. The vampire-warlock's suite was the Laurel Room.
The four poster bed was a few feet off the ground. Lafayette slid his coffin underneath. The long bedskirt reached the floor, providing adequate concealment. Picking up the roses and the ten-pound box of candy, he locked the door -- making sure to put the "Do Not Disturb" placard on the doorknob.
A woman glanced a little too long in the direction of the passerby. Her companion, presumably her husband or boyfriend turned away, apparently jealous.
The rooster winked at the woman before exiting through the French doors. I've still got the touch, he thought. Women usually were unable to resist his looks and masculine energy. Of course, this particular female wouldn't receive any more attention from Lafayette. She was apparently normal. In other words, not good enough for the womanizer.
The vampire-warlock hailed a cab. "McCawber Manor, and step on it!"
The cabbie shivered. "That place gives me the creeps!"
Typical. "Just give me directions."
**************************************************************************** ***********
"Megavolt never knew what hit him!" Darkwing Duck bragged.
Morgana McCawber giggled. She enjoyed these yarns, even if she knew Darkwing was stretching the truth. Though not narcissistic, the ego was humorously overbearing. "What a prom night."
"You probably were on the arm of the most popular guy at Eldritch--"
The sorceress quickly changed the subject. "How's Gosalyn?"
"Aside from the fact one of her classmates ended up in the hospital after getting clonked during her shot put at school, fine." Darkwing opened his beak to ask about the abrupt subject change, but decided not to. After all, wasn't Morg only interested in him? There had been the time Negaduck had inhaled love potion, but she was only pretending. And that look on Negaduck's face when Morgana socked him in the beak was all too priceless.
The doorbell rang.
Morgana opened the door.
"Mademoiselle McCawber, you're lovely as ever. Miss me?"
"Hello there, Lafayette. What brings you to this city?" Morgana answered and asked, straining to keep the bitterness out of her voice.
"Why, it has taken me quite a few years to track vous down, my amour. I really DO feel guilty about what happened between us all zose years ago. I vish to have another chance with vous. I give vous my solemn word zat you will not regret giving moi zee chance to prove I really HAVE changed over the years." the half-vampire warlock began in his most convincing tone as he present Morgana with the flowers, candy and necklace he had brought for her.
"Well, it doesn't look like you've changed THAT much." Morgana silently thought to herself before commenting "I'm sorry, Lafayette, but I still have vivid memories of your betrayal back at the senior prom. Besides which, I DO have somebody else in my life now."
"Namely ME, buster." Darkwing blurted out, storming toward the warlock rooster before continuing directly in the womanizer's face "So I would suggest you watch yourself."
"My name iz Lafayette Plasimeaux, monsieur, and vous are..." Lafayette said in an even tone as he extended his hand. "Darkwing Duck; this city's resident top do-gooder AND Morg's current beau." the masked hero answered as he half-grudgingly accepted Lafayette's handshake.
"Well, Monsieur, I wish vous zee best of luck with Mademoiselle McCawber." the half-vampire said as he used his super-strength to add a bit more pressure to the handshake, causing Darkwing a certain amount of pain, though the caped canard was able to keep the pain from being visible on his face long enough to somehow manage to get his hand loose.
As Lafayette left, he silently added "Oui, Monsieur Darkwing. I believe vous will NEED all zee luck you can get." with an evil smile.
After the half-vampire warlock left, Darkwing saw the pained expression on the sorceress that has been the subject of all of his amorous fantasies for the last two years and asked in a concerned tone "Who IS this Lafayette Plasimeaux, honeywumpus? I can tell when you are unhappy, and I know there's something about this guy that seems to really rub you the wrong way."
"Well, you know how father told you how upset I was when I got stood up at the senior prom when you first visited my family, Dark?" Morgana asked.
"Well, yeah, but at the time, I thought he was just being sarcastic. Whoa, you mean THIS guy is the warlock who stood you up at your senior prom?" Darkwing answered and asked.
"Yes, Dark, darling. It's true. Lafayette Plasimeaux was my first, and ONLY OTHER, boyfriend. He was, as you put it, the most popular guy at Eldritch; a wealthy and powerful half-super-vampire warlock who, in addition to the magic he learned at Eldritch, also possesses eight times the power level of an ordinary high-level vampire. Unfortunately, he was also a shameless womanizer. Oh, I knew about his reputation, which is why it took him over a year to get me to even agree to a date with him. Still, I presumed that, considering the effort he went to just to get a date, he might have been sincere in changing his ways. We actually dated for a little over three years. However, at the senior prom, I finally found out that he had been pulling the wool over my eyes throughout most of the time we were dating. When I was stood up, I went looking for him, only to catch him in the act with my then-best-friend, Shelley Ghastly. I don't fault Shelley; she was helplessly under the influence of Lafayette's considerable mind powers until I caught them together. I knew all that from the mind scans I did on both of them while Lafayette's mental defenses were briefly down. Therefore, I focused my wrath on the double-dealing lout that would thereafter be known as my EX-boyfriend." Morgana explained truthfully.
"Enough said, Morg. Yeesh. No wonder you changed subjects so quickly when I brought up YOUR prom. I'm sorry, honeywumpus. I had no idea." Darkwing said tenderly.
"That's all right, Dark, darling. I've kept the truth from you for too long anyway." Morgana replied.
"Yeah, but I have this bad feeling that Mister Plasimeaux isn't going to give up easily." Darkwing stated matter-of-factly.
"You aren't the only one, Dark." the sorceress added with a nod before. **************************************************************************** ******** Meanwhile, back at his hotel suite, Lafayette was already making plans. "Zo, I have zee rival for Morgana's affections. oui? Zat could be a problem, but I have never backed down from zee challenge. I maybe too crafty to do zee dirty work myself, zince murdering Morgana current paramour myself would kill any chance of wooing her back to me. However, if Mademoiselle McCawber's current beau were to meet with zee unfortunate accident at other hands NOT directly connected to me, I could, how vous say, comfort her in her time of loss and woo her back to me in zat manner." the half-vampire warlock said as he started to make preparations to get his secret "dirty work crew" over to Saint Canard to deal with Darkwing.
Using his crystal ball (which he had stashed in a small compartment at the bottom of his coffin before converting said coffin to jet mode), Lafayette looked at Darkwing and Morgana with pure hatred toward the former in his eyes. As he watched the two lovers through the crystal ball, the half- vampire warlock said "After all, one has to, how vous say, KNOW one's enemy to have zee best chance of having zaid enemy eliminated."
Behind the mahogany door of the Laurel Room, Lafayette Plasimeaux smacked his forehead with one hand. "Vhat does she see in him?" He yawned, and dragged his coffin from its hiding place. "I better get some rest."
Lafayette's main energy source was blood, but he didn't have to "recharge" as often as a full vampire. One of the main advantages of being a hybrid. Not to worry, though. St. Canard was a teeming metropolis, full of sources of the red live-giving fluid. He slid into the coffin and soon drifted to sleep. Even if he wouldn't have to drink blood for a couple of days, he still needed his beauty sleep.
Several hours later, the rooster was jolted awake by the sound of his new rival's voice. He got up to view his crystal ball.
"Medeva, this is a long shot, but do you remember your sister's ex- boyfriend? Lafayette Plasimeaux?" Darkwing Duck was saying.
Medeva shrugged. "It was fifteen years ago, but yes. I never liked him. Always seemed slippery."
"Yeah. I'm beginning to get that idea."
"He showed up at Morgana's last night. She didn't look too happy."
"And I think he's the jealous type too. I suggest you watch your back."
"Medeva, I know this is a strange thing to ask, but it'll be too painful for Morg and your dad will probably just laugh at me," Darkwing sighed. "I have the feeling garlic won't stop Lafayette."
"You're right. He's only half vampire, if I remember correctly. He can actually stand sunshine. Though with that complexion of his, he 'd scorch if he stayed in the sun too long."
"Would it be possible to find anything on him? Like his weaknesses? Just in case."
"I'll see what I can dig up." Medeva entered the portal to Transylvania and was gone.
Lafayette put the crystal ball back in the compartment and smiled. "Clever. But not clever enough."
There was a knock on the door. The rooster answered it. "Gonzalo, Iris, Cinders! Come in!"
"Nice place you've got here," Iris, a petite and willowy cyclops, commented.
"Why'd you call us here?" asked Gonzalo in a Spanish accent. He looked like a normal duck. Come night, he'd turn into a terrifying werewolf.
"I've got a job for vous."
Cinders nodded. "Who do you want us to bump off this time?" As his name suggested, he was a dragon who could exhale fire at will.
"His name is Darkving Duck. A crimefighter. I vant you three to make sure he has an...accident on duty. But don't let him see vous. Make it look natural..."
Lafayette's three hitmonsters set out on their assignment and, that very evening started discreetly tailing Darkwing. "From what I heard from most of the thugs in this town, this Darkwing Duck is supposedly harder to kill than a 100-foot-tall cockroach and that there are no less than a dozen super-villains in prison who would vouch for that claim.." Iris commented matter-of-factly. "Yeah, but that's why Mister Plasimeaux sent for US; his three best hitmonsters. Besides at least we luck out in one area; we get well-paid for doing work that we normally have a lot of fun doing anyway." Cinders reminded Iris before they and Gonzalo continued to plan out what sort of "on-duty accident" they could arrange for Darkwing.
The three monsters followed Darkwing across one round of city patrol and discreetly watched him in action quite frequently during this round as the masked hero found and foiled six muggings, eight car-jackings and three bank robberies as well as two jewelry heists and a museum break-in. The trio of hitmonsters had to silently admit that, when that duck was at his best, he was very good indeed (committing the demonstrations of his skills upon so many of the crooks he's come across carefully to memory) and then left their dogged pursuit as to have a chance to prepare their "on-duty accident".
The cyclops, werewolf and dragon came across a well-kept ten-story orphanage filled with children as well as assorted orphanage staff. "Are you guys thinking what I'M thinking?" Cinders asked his two comrades when the trio of monsters saw the orphanage.
"I get it, Cinders; we slip out of sight, you set the orphanage of fire JUST as Darkwing happens by on his next patrol round and then, after Darkwing rushes into the burning building to save the kiddies and staff, you.... heh, heh, heh, add some more flames to the mix and use your dragon strength to shake things up a bit as well as to make the job even harder for that do-gooder. Between the flames and collapsing building, Darkwing will be finished for sure and his demise looks like the tragic accident the boss wants." Gonzalo replied.
"Very good, my lupine ally and, just in case there ARE any survivors, that's where you and Iris will come in. We can't chance any witnesses on this." the dragon explained
"When can we ever?" Iris and Gonzalo asked simultaneously with evil smiles as Darkwing's Ratcatcher motorcycle got ever closer to the orphanage.
Before Cinders started to work setting the orphanage on fire, he commented to his two comrades "But remember, we only eliminate the civilians if Darkwing ISN'T one of the survivors. If he is, then we simply slip away and try another trap later tonight.". To this, the werewolf and cyclops both merely nodded silently.
Once Darkwing was close enough to see the fire immediately, but not quite close enough to spot Cinders, the hitdragon unleashed ten well-aimed blasts of his flame breath which hit vital targets on each of the orphanage's ten floors.
Spotting the fire, the caped canard parked his Ratcatcher and commented "Well, looks like it's time for another death-defying mass-rescue of innocents courtesy of yours truly. Good thing I got my fireproof cape and hat back from the cleaners three nights ago." as he wrapped his cape fully around his body and heroically started to work saving the trapped orphans and staff.
After Darkwing went inside, Cinders let out ten more flame blasts that nailed other vital targets on each floor as to make the fire spread even faster. After Cinders finished that, he wasted no time in putting his dragon strength to work pushing and pulling on the building roof as to simulate the type of vibrations that would, as planned, make the masked hero's attempts to save the children and staff from the fire that much more challenging (i.e. causing a lot of shaking all throughout the already burning building).
"So, Cinders actually came up with a good trap with surefire bait, but, how about a game of odds and evens to decide who gets to plan the next attempt in the outside chance that Cinders fails?" Gonzalo suggested. "You're on, even if it IS a VERY outside chance," said Iris as the two hitmonsters started their game.
Darkwing kept close to the ground, trying not to inhale the smoke. It was difficult to see, as the orphanage was not only burning but also crumbling at a very fast rate. He crept toward a closed door that the flames hadn't reached and threw it open. The crimefighter groaned when he saw the room's occupants: several ducklings sleeping in bassinets. Darkwing picked up three -- the maximum he was sure he could hold without dropping anyone. One began to cry. "There, there. Darkwing Duck is here to save you."
The baby only cried louder. The other infants woke up and began to cry as well.
The caped canard gritted his teeth as he rigged a pulley system to send a bassinet with the inconsolable ducklings to the ground floor. He had to work fast, but the high-pitched wail of a fire engine told him the Fire Department had arrived. The sobbing was giving him a headache, not to mention the fire was consuming its way into the room.
Though it seemed like eternity, the fire was brought under control in fifteen minutes.
Cinders, Iris, and Gonzalo lurked at a safe distance to view their handiwork.
Iris gazed at the triumphant crimefighter brushing soot off his thankfully fireproofed cape. "Guess your incendiary abilities aren't what they used to be, Cind."
Cinder coughed out a puff of smoke. It would be a few hours before his lungs could produce more fire. "Hey, it was short notice. And it would have helped if you guys had brought a little insurance."
"I forgot my gasoline," muttered Gonzalo. "Anyway, what are we going to do? Lafayette will have our hides if we don't get rid of this guy!"
"Calm down, guys," replied Iris. She put on a straw hat and pulled the brim down so it shaded her single eye. She looked almost normal. "You guys run to the cliffs just outside of town. And when you hear our quarry poking around the rocks, get the drop on him."
The werewolf and the dragon nodded and left.
Iris ran toward Darkwing. "Sir! I need your help!"
"Anything to help a citizen. What can I do for you, ma'am?"
"My boys! My boys! They were collecting rocks for a science project on the outskirts and there was a landslide. They'll suffocate."
"Say no more, Miss. Darkwing Duck will rescue your brood!" The crimefighter leaped on the Ratcatcher and drove off.
Iris smirked. "Just like my cousin Polyphemus."
Ten minutes later, Cinders pushed a rock. "This is hard work."
Gonzalo pointed down, where a blur of purple can be seen. "Let's roll out the welcome rock."
Cinders shoved the rock down. It rolled noisily toward Darkwing, who saw it in time and leaped aside.
Gonzalo threw down a small boulder, which the crimefighter didn't see.
However, the boulder glanced off just above Darkwing's head, as if bouncing off an invisible helmet.
Iris came toward them, puffing and panting. "What's the situation?"
Cinders arched an eyebrow. "This Darkwing Duck is normal, right?"
"Yeah. So?"
Gonzalo groaned and shoved another boulder down. It rolled directly at the target, then suddenly curved away. "His girlfriend must have cloaked him with some sort of immunity!"
"But you can't make a normal immortal!" protested Iris.
"True," conceded Cinders. "Immunity spells are generally temporary and even so can't prevent certain types of deaths. Unfortunately, 'crushed by rocks' is prevented by this one. Maybe drowning isn't. Let's just grab him and toss him in Audubon Bay!"
"He's a duck!" snapped Gonzalo. "He probably floats!"
"What are we supposed to do?" Iris asked. "The only one who'd know which method of execution the immunity spell can't safeguard against is probably the witch who cast it. Unless you want to do trial and error, but someone's bound to get suspicious."
"Maybe we should just wait it out," suggested Cinders.
Lafayette listened to their conversation through his crystal ball. "Good thinking, Morgana." He waved his hand over the ball. Now he could see Medeva scribbling notes from a record book onto a notepad. "If she finds out what my weaknesses are and she passes zat information on to Darkwing, I might be at a disadvantage. Hmm, zis is challenging. But, as always, I'm one step ahead."
Shortly following Cinder, Iris and Gonzalo's second failed attempt to
kill him (though he didn't know for certain that the burning/collapsing
building and the falling rocks were deliberate attempts on his life [he
might have partially suspected, but he had no solid proof to confirm that
this was more than mere paranoia; the hitmonsters did that part of their
assignment right, at any rate), Darkwing returned to his home at 537
Avian Way, changed back into Drake Mallard and caught a two hour nap
before preparing breakfast for Gosalyn.
"Boy, in my heart of hearts, I just know that this Lafayette Plasimeaux
will be big trouble. I mean, I still remember when the last
supernaturally-powered individual to show an interest in Morg popped up
in my city. Stoney Standstill was as strong as Stegmutt and Gizmoduck
combined in addition to being able to produce low-level earthquakes and
turn people to stone temporarily. Luckily for me, Stoney was also as
simple-minded as Steggers. Somehow, though, I don't think I'm going to
have that sort of luck with Mister Plasimeaux." Drake silently thought to
himself as he went to wake up Gosalyn. "Morning, dad. Busy night last night?" the eleven-year-old asked upon waking up herself.
"Yeah, Gos. I'm just lucky that I remembered to wear my fireproof cape and that protection spell Morg put on me the night before last to repel impact attacks held up." Drake admitted.
"Night before last? I thought that spell was cast on you two months ago." Gosalyn inquired before digging into her breakfast.
"No, Gos. You're thinking of the spell Morgana cast on me to render me immune to mind control. You know, the spell she cast just hours before that time-travel adventure that temporarily stranded the Justice Ducks in Ancient Greece. In retrospect, that spell saved my tail-feathers when it came to dealing with those sirens." Drake reminded his pre-teen adopted daughter.
"Oh, yeah. I remember now. Actually, I also remember Morg telling me that she also found the ingredients needed for the formula to make the anti-mind- control spell permanent during that trip." Gos recalled.
"True, and I'm glad she did. I WAS getting as fed up as Morg about the villains using mind control on me." Drake confessed.
"Actually, dad, I think she might have been more concerned about the VILLAINESSES using that mind control tactic on you." the spirited pre-teen half-teased.
"True, Gos and I was concerned about that myself. I was actually including both villain genders in my previous statement." Drake reminded.
As Gosalyn finished her breakfast, she said "Boy, I've never known LP to sleep through a meal. That pilot's convention in Cape Suzette; which he just got back from while you were on patrol last night; must have REALLY taken it out of him."
"No kidding, Gos. Oh, well, I'll save him some breakfast so that he can heat it up in the microwave when he wakes up." Drake said as he scraped the breakfast leftovers into a Quackerware bowl from a line that Drake bought from Herb simply because Drake had just gotten back from a particularly rough SHUSH mission and wanted to shut Herb up quickly so that he could actually have a chance to get to sleep. Gosalyn smirked at the fact that Drake was actually making use of the Quackerware Herb sold him, but she refrained from actually commenting.
As Gosalyn saw the bus coming, she dashed for it "Well, dad, the football team has a big game against our arch-rivals from Duckburg after school today, so I'd better get going." as she looked around to make sure that nobody but her adoptive father was looking and then firmly hugged him. That out of the way, the pre-teen then made a dash for the bus; making it just as the bus pulled up to the driveway.
************************************************
Meanwhile, at Lafayette's hotel room, the half-vampire warlock already had his next plan brewing in his mind. Since his hitmonsters failed to stop Darkwing, he would discreetly start to work instigating a rift between his rival and his ex-girlfriend. He had to plan it carefully, so that it wouldn't look like he had anything to do with the rift, but at the same time, he was also racing the clock because he wanted to get Darkwing out of the picture before Medeva dug up anything that could used to the masked hero's advantage. After instigating this rift, perhaps, just to make sure Darkwing didn't have a chance to start to work undoing the rift, the womanizer could also mastermind the .... pre-mature releases of every super- villain locked away in Saint Canard's new SUPER-maximum-security super- villain prison, which was virtually every super-criminal in Saint Canard. Surely, Darkwing COULDN'T handle protecting the innocent citizenry of his precious city from all of these escaped villains AND be able to patch things up with Morgana. NO super-hero could be THAT good.
That thought brought a huge smile to the half-vampire warlock's beak.
At the maximum-security supervillain guard numbly walked down an aisle of cells, stopping in front of one. He unlocked. "You're free to go."
The cell's occupant, Public Enemy Number Two, looked surprised. "What?"
The guard only stared blankly, as if mesmerized.
Negaduck shrugged. He wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth. He walked right out the prison doors, then ducked into the bushes outside.
"Ah, Monsieur. I've been expecting vous," came a voice with a thick French accent.
"Who are you?" asked the yellow-coated duck.
"Is zat any vay to address the one who broke you out?"
"How'd you do that? It's not every day I can just walk out of prison!"
"Hypnosis," replied the half-vampire rooster. "Mon nom est Lafayette Plasimeaux. I've got a preposition for vous."
"If it involves dressing up like Darkwing Duck to have him jailed, forget it. I've done it so many times the police are used to it."
"Acquainted with Morgana McCawber?"
"Know her, hate her. Why?"
"Morgana and I were once lovers, but we broke up following a...quarrel." Lafayette smiled mischievously. "She's too interested in her current boyfriend to get back together with me. But if she were to catch her boyfriend in the act with another girl..."
"So you want me to impersonate Darkwing and pitch woo to someone besides Morg?"
"Precisely."
"What's in it for me?"
Lafayette produced a check.
The yellow-coated duck glanced over it. "That's a comma, right?"
"Oui."
"I'll do it!" Negaduck declared firmly.
"Magnifique!"
"Now who should it be?"
"Anyone will do. There's plenty of women at any given time."
"Been a while since I've had to lather on the charm, but I'll do my best." **************************************************************************** ** Ring, ring.
Drake jolted awake from his nap and picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"Darkwing? It's Medeva. I finished that background check on Lafayette."
"Find anything useful?"
"You decide. Lafayette is the son of Jacques Plasimeaux -- a Parisian supervampire -- and his wife Angelique Le Fay. Angelique's descended from Morgan Le Fay, the half-sister of King Arthur. They moved from France to Transylvania. Since his teens, Lafayette's been able to charm almost any woman who lays eyes on him. He and my sister dated for around three years before the big break-up. Take what she's done to you, multiply it by ten, and you might scratch the surface of what she did to her ex. He spent several weeks in the hospital."
"Any idea what his weaknesses are?"
"Well, this is gonna sound cliche, but he's vulnerable to wooden stakes and fire. He also has to avoid silver-tipped weapons. Not to mention the fact he must consume blood regularly to keep his strength."
"I don't want to kill him. Just defend myself."
Medeva sighed. "He can't use his magic if his hands are securely tied, if that helps. But I'm warning you. Lafayette Plasimeaux is extremely powerful."
"I figured that."
"He's got super-strength, as well as incredible mind powers. Can bring inanimate objects to life, as well as shoot fire, ice, and lightening bolts. Grim, I know."
"Thanks for the warning."
"Don't mention it. I do prefer you for a brother-in-law over that...Killer Diller. Good luck. You're gonna need it."
Click.
"Brother-in-law? How did Medeva know I already bought the ring? I mean I've spent five weeks quietly practicing my proposal speech, but I haven't told anybody about my intentions. Oh well, that might have just been a lucky guess. At any rate, I have more pressing matters at hand at present." Drake silently thought before he headed up to Darkwing Tower to make preparations in case Lafayette tried anything. The silver weakness might be exploitable if he laced the silver with weapons designed to detain or harmlessly subdue rather than kill.
Fortunately, he still had a few canisters of silver-vapor-laced knockout gas and a few steel-and-silver alloy cable bolas left over from when he had to battle that werewolf motorcycle gang six months earlier. With any luck, the silver in the bolas would counteract his vampire powers and the reinforced steel in those same bolas will prove strong enough to at least slow Lafayette down. Plus, if he aimed just right, he could tie the half- vampire's arms securely enough to prevent him from using any magic.
After making sure to load his gas gun with the silver-vapor-laced knockout gas and slipping some sets of his special bolas in his jacket, Darkwing then started preparing some diluted napalm cartridges to exploit the fire weakness without killing Lafayette (if he aimed the cartridges containing the diluted napalm at non-vital areas such as the shoulder or knees, that could do the trick). As he worked on his preparations, Darkwing was taken by surprise by a sultry sounding voice that came behind him.
"Dark, darling. I believe I got a summons to meet you here." Morgana replied.
Though caught by surprise, Darkwing still managed to maintain just enough composure not to drop any cartridges or beakers. "Morg? Honeywumpus? I mean, yes I'm glad you're here. Any opportunity we have to be alone for a while is absolutely great in my book. Plus, I do have to thank you for that protection spell you put on me to protect me from impact attacks. That really saved my tailfeathers when it came to that rock slide. Therefore, I can't exactly complain about the fact that I didn't actually call." the masked hero replied.
"But, I did, Mister Mallard." Honker replied as he stepped in. He had gotten home from school just a few minutes earlier and, having heard about Lafayette from Gosalyn (who had heard about him from Drake the morning after the half-vampire rooster showed up at Morgana's door), had done some thinking on the matter while at school (fortunately, the eleven-year-old genius had gotten so used to thinking about theories on how to help Drake and Gosalyn with their problems that he knew how to compartmentalize his thoughts so that he could focus on both doing his schoolwork and helping his friends), called up Morgana after he got home and took the secret route to Darkwing Tower (Drake locked the doors to the house, but Honker was such a good friend of Gosalyn's that Drake had an extra key made for Honker).
"Forgive my going over your head on this one, Mister Mallard, but I had to explain my theory on Mister Plasimeaux's plan and wanted both you and Ms. McCawber present so that you could save some breath explaining matters to Ms. McCawber later." Honker said politely.
Darkwing nodded, knowing that Honker had very good instincts about this sort of stuff. True, the caped canard's ego was rather overblown, but he had learned how to at least pocket enough of his arrogance to actually listen to Honker when he had something important to say. "Quite understandable in this case. Proceed, Honker." Darkwing said quietly.
"Thank you, Mister Mallard. Anyway, my theory is that, if Mister Plasimeaux wants to get back together with Ms. McCawber, the only two ways he could have a chance of doing that would be if you were to have a fatal on-duty accident and he were to comfort her in her time of grief or if there were a rather large rift between you two. If he already tried, but failed the on- duty accident route, he might try to discreetly CAUSE a rift between you two that would allow him a chance at wooing Ms. McCawber back to him. The best way to cause such a rift would be to frame Darkwing for infidelity. For that, however, he would need somebody who looked enough like Darkwing to fool even Ms. McCawber briefly. He would then most likely complete the ruse by focus enough of his mind powers on the lookalike's brain to fool her mind scans while watching unobserved. Once the rift was caused, Mister Plasimeaux would THEN need someway of keeping Darkwing too otherwise occupied to focus on fixing things with Ms. McCawber. The best way to do that would be with an army of super-villains operating separately all over Saint Canard. Of course, with almost all of the super-villains in prison, he would have to have all those villains broken out." Honker explained.
"But he would discreetly break my diabolical double, Negaduck, out first so that he could enlist Negs's aid in framing me for infidelity. Brilliant work, Honker." Darkwing admitted just as his crime computer picked up an alarm from the prison. Apparently, one of the other guards finally saw the entranced state of the guard at Negaduck's cell and sounded the alarm.
"Blast it. Negaduck has already been freed. Not only do I have to deal with an insanely jealous vampire warlock, but my despicable doppelganger as well." Darkwing grumbled.
"Well, we know Lafayette's plan NOW, Dark, so I propose we set up an elaborate ruse to make him think he succeeded in causing a rift between us. This will result in him getting overconfident and we will be able to use that to our advantage." Morgana commented.
"But what about the rest of the super-villains? Somebody has to stop them from getting broken out, too." Darkwing pointed out.
"Stegmutt and Launchpad can handle that end." Morgana answered.
"And don't forget about the Quiverwing Quack and the Arrow Kid." Gosalyn said over her communicator.
Apparently, the communicator picked up the alarm at the prison too.
"Absolutely not, little missy. This is too dangerous. Who knows what kind of monstrous minions that blood-sucking sorcerous schemer might have waiting in the wings. Besides, you've got a game starting in an hour, remember?".
"First, I can fake something to get me out of the game so that I can change into costume and get to that prison. Second, Honker, Stegmutt, Launchpad and I can all keep a careful eye on each other so that we can all ensure each other's safety and be in a better position to make sure not a single one of the other villains gets back to the outside." Gosalyn pointed out.
Darkwing sighed. Gosalyn's arguing skills have improved a bit too much.
Behind the mahogany door of the Laurel Room at the Black Water Inn, Lafayette was pacing. Each step seemed to be a struggle.
The half-vampire knew he needed blood, and soon.
There was a knock on the door.
The rooster shoved the coffin back into its hiding place under the four- poster bed. "It's open."
The maid entered, and began to dust. Suddenly, she felt herself being pinned to the wall. Too startled to cry out, she turned her head.
The hotel guest was closing in on the housekeeper, mouth opened -- exposing two sharp teeth. The teeth were too long to be canine. Fangs, the victim realized. ******************************************************************* "Let me get this straight," Magica de Spell was saying. "You want me to pretend we're dating?"
"Yes," replied Negaduck impatiently. He was still wearing his usual outfit.
"What's in it for me?"
"Magica, if you go along with this, I'll see what I can do about...that dime you're always complaining about."
The witch didn't hesitate. "Is deal!"
"One more thing." Negaduck took off his red fedora and replaced it with an identical gray one. "Call me Darkwing." ******************************************************************* Meanwhile, the real Darkwing loaded the final diluted napalm cartridge. "There."
Morgana re-entered. "Launchpad, Stegmutt, and the kids are waiting at the prison. Nothing suspicious yet." She moved toward a large telescope. "Now. I spy with my little eye...something purple!"
Just below them, Negaduck -- now fully dressed in purple jacket, teal turtleneck, and dark cape -- was offering a box to Magica de Spell. "I saw this in the window of Nales -- and I had to buy it for you!"
Magica opened the tiny box. It contained a ring -- a carved onyx in the shape of a bat on a band of gold. "Ooh! I am loving it! It's just what I've always wanted! Is...me!" She leaped into Negaduck's arms, who caught her. They kissed.
Morgana snickered. "Did Lafayette really think I'd believe that?"
"So we fool Lafayette into thinking that his plan's working?" asked Darkwing.
"Yes. His ego's probably worse than yours."
"Hey! Quackule Poirot had a little harmless vanity, so why can't I?"
Morgana teleported in on Magica and the disguised Negaduck with a look of convincingly faked anger in her eyes. In a voice of feigned anger, Morgana then exclaimed "So, it's bad enough yet cheat on me, you caped chiseler, but you have to cheat on me with Magica DeSpell? I would have thought you'd AT LEAST have better taste than THAT, you purple-clad gigilo." with sparks of green energy crackling from her fingertips.
Magica, meanwhile, blocked Morgana's mystic bolts with some of her own. Remembering her deal with Negaduck, she retorted "Back off, McCawber. This is MY duck.". Negaduck tossed a flare on to the street, but Morgana; half- expecting Negaduck to pull some dirty trick, had already shielded her own eyes, but still pretended to be blinded.
"Come on, Magica, darling, let's vamoose." the disguised Negaduck said as Magica cooked up two controlled whirlwinds to provide herself and Negaduck, transportation.
"Zere. Zat should how vous say, start zee fireworks popping most rapidly, oui? I must applaud your tastes, Monsieur Negaduck. Mademoiselle DeSpell would have been zee type of woman I might have picked out myself." Lafayette said quietly as he discreetly watched the scene with a smile.
**************************************
The real Darkwing arrived at McCawber Manor with flowers for his part when Morgana appeared in a flash of green light, still with faked anger in her eyes. "Hello, honeywumpus. How are you this fine night?" Darkwing said as he presented her the flowers.
"Don't "'honeywumpus'" me, you two-timer. I caught you with Magica DeSpell just three minutes ago." Morgana exclaimed as she started firing mystic bolts aimed close enough to look like she was trying to nail the masked hero, but still purposely fall JUST short.
"Magica DeSpell? I have no idea what you are talking about, Morg." Darkwing said in feigned nervousness.
"Don't bother lying about it, playbird. I've scanned your mind. I know it WAS you and that you have seeing her for MONTHS behind my back!" the sorceress shouted in still-faked anger.
Lafayette chuckled quietly from his hiding place just outside McCawber Manor, thinking that his efforts to use his own mind powers to fool Morgana's mind scan worked like a charm.
"Mind scan? Morg? Are you sure you're feeling all right?" Darkwing asked, trying to maintain the acting job he and Morgana were putting on for the hidden Lafayette.
Firing yet another zap, this one unleashing a cloud of black smoke so that Darkwing could have some cover to apply his make-up, Morgana exclaimed "Well, since you seem to care more about Ms. DeSpell than me, then WE'RE through." pretending to storm into her house.
From his hiding place, Lafayette turned himself into a wolf and made a dash back to the hotel he was currently staying at. Fortunately, immediately after he sucked every last drop of blood from the maid's body, he changed into a giant bat, carefully flew the drained maid to a vacant lot just two blocks from the hotel and then used a fireball to incinerate the body. Lafayette then changed back into a bat, flew back to the hotel and used his mind powers to ensure that everybody would have the message firmly planted in their brains that Lafayette was the FIFTH-to-last individual to see the maid (just in case the police get called in by the maid's relatives [providing she had any living relatives]) and even added a little added suggestion to the mind of the fourth guest after him so that said other guest would actually believe HE was the real killer.
*****************************************
Lafayette used his crystal ball to get a message out to Iris, Gonzalo and Cinders to proceed with the second part of his plan; the mass release of every other villain in Saint Canard.
At the Tower, Darkwing then commented "Well, that's one end of the problem taken care of. Between Honker's intellect, Stegmutt's strength, Gosalyn's spirit and Launchpad's heart, the four of them as a team can handle almost anything. Now WE have to deal with Lafayette himself as well as both Magica and Negaduck; a tough job even for the combined efforts of the both of us."
"Don't you mean the combined efforts of ALL THREE of us, Wingy?" a familiar- sounding voice said as Darkwing heard a purring motor and the screech of a tire.
"GIZMODUCK?! What are you doing on my turf?" Darkwing exclaimed questioningly.
"Just making sure Magica and Negaduck don't get a chance to try for Mister McDuck's first dime. As soon as Morgana found out that Negaduck had picked out Magica to aid him in his devious duplicity, she called me up on my 555- GZMO hotline just to warn me to keep an extra sharp eye on the dime. I just took the next step and decided to prevent them from making a try AT ALL." the armored do-gooder answered honestly.
Darkwing grumbled and fumed a bit, but from what he learned about Lafayette from Medeva, he knew that he couldn't afford to be overly careless with this villain, especially if he were allied with both Magica and Negaduck. Thus, for once, he decided to pocket his pride and accept Gizmoduck's help. Three-on-three DID sound like better odds than three-on-TWO after all. With that thought in mind, Darkwing extended his hand and said "Just this once, Giz. JUST THIS ONCE."
"How did plan work, dah-link?" asked Magica. She and Negaduck had joined Lafayette at the Black Water Inn.
"Perfectly," replied the half-vampire. "Morgana's all mine now. Darkwing's probably in the Emergency Room by now thanks to your...acting performance." The rooster chuckled. "I'm off to cherchez la femme. You two stay five paces behind me in case there's any trouble."
**************************************************************************** **************
"OK, it's my turn," Quiverwing announced. "Stegmutt, would you rather eat a week-old peanut butter and meatball sandwich or a bag of potting soil?"
"Hmm, toughie. I'd go with the old sandwich," replied the dinosaur. "My turn! Ooh, boy! Launchpad, would you rather eat a rotten apple or a month- old bowl of pasta?"
Launchpad, usually a bottomless pit, clutched his stomach. "Whose idea was it to play this game?"
There was a creak.
"I think we've got company," commented the Arrow Kid.
Cinders, thin of frame, slid in through the cracked-open window, then opened it all the way. Iris and Gonzalo slipped inside.
"Let's get this jailbreak quickly," said Iris. "All these bars make me nervous."
"Well, you'll be seeing a lot of them!" announced Quiverwing.
Gonzalo reached into his pocket and pulled out a moonstone talisman. The talisman had the power to change him into a wolf during the day, though he became one naturally every night.
Stegmutt hadn't noticed the intruders, but he had noticed a drinking fountain. "I'm thirsty!" He eagerly grabbed the lever, but pulled it out instead of pushing it down. The basin fell from the wall, releasing a huge amount of water, most of it near Cinders.
The dragon gasped. His breath, once formidable flame, was nothing but steam. "Oh, great." He felt himself being grabbed by the neck.
Stegmutt banged Cinders up and down on the prison walls. "Put out the dragon!"
"But I haven't any fire left!" squeaked out the former fire breather before passing out.
Quiverwing effortlessly fired a bola arrow to tie up the lupine Gonzalo. The Arrow Kid handed her a paint-arrow, which she fired at Iris.
The paint splattered in Iris' one eye. Her hand wiped it off. "Ugh." She pulled out a single contact lens. "Curses." The cyclops stumbled and slammed into a wall.
Launchpad shrugged. "I guess even cyclops-es have vision problems."
"It's cyclopi," corrected the Arrow Kid.
***************************************************************************
Morgana led Darkwing and Gizmoduck into a foyer near her main hall. "Just wait here." Ding-dong. "Right on cue." Some things never change, she thought bitterly. The sorceress floated to her front door and opened it. Just as suspected.
Lafayette handed her a new bouquet of roses. "Morgana, ma cherie. I heard about your break-up. I knew that Darkwing Duck was trouble. Cheating on you with that Mademoiselle DeSpell!"
Morgana frowned. "Takes one to know one, eh, Lafayette?"
"I was young and foolish back then. Let's let bygones be bygones."
"I gave you one chance with me, Plasimeaux. You blew it."
"Surely you can't blame me for that...kiss with Shelley."
"Our relationship was over before it even began. When I said I wouldn't forgive you for it, I meant it." Morgana's voice grew sharper. "You didn't tell me the truth for one minute."
"But, mon amour!"
"Don't try to sweet-talk me. You may be older and wiser now, but I am too."
"You can't still have feelings for that purple-cloaked buffoon!"
"For one thing, Darkwing didn't cheat on me. That was Negaduck kissing Magica on the bridge."
"But --" Lafayette realized that the scenes of Morgana's fury he had witnessed were all acts. He muttered a swear word in French.
Morgana shook her head. "I've heard it all before. Did you really think I'm unable to tell the difference between the love of my life and his rotten-to- the-core lookalike?"
"Morgana--"
The sorceress turned away. "I can't hear you anymore."
Typical female fickleness, thought Lafayette.
Negaduck and Magica were listening in.
"Guess she knew more than she was letting on," observed Magica.
"What is it about him that makes the average chick swoon anyway?" hissed Negaduck.
"The accent," replied Magica. "Don't you know French is a popular accent with the ladies?"
"No, I didn't. Does this qualify as trouble?"
"I think so."
Lafayette merely commented "Zen, Mademoiselle macabre, I shall take my leave." as he gave a discreet gesture of his right hand to signal Negaduck and Magica to make their move. Magica launched her attack first, firing mystic bolts that Morgana easily blocked with well-timed mystic shields, but this was merely cover for Negaduck to sneak in and try to take Morgana from behind. Fortunately, this was precisely the type of reason that Morgana had requested that Darkwing and Gizmoduck remained in hiding. Still, Darkwing reasoned that, if Magica and Negaduck failed, somebody like Lafayette wouldn't have any qualms about using his magic to somehow destroy the mansion and everybody in it from a distance.
"Okay, Gizmo, you handle Neg. I'll look for and deal with Lafayette." Darkwing whispered as Gizmoduck started using his bionic extension arms to secure his frequent rival's evil lookalike just before the villain could get into position to launch an attack on Org. Negaduck struggled a bit before finally managing to get out his .44 magnum and fired at the armored duck's single tire. Gizmoduck thus tripped up, Negaduck then whipped out two bazookas and fired them both at point-blank range. Though the armor WAS somewhat damaged by this attack Giz still was able to get off two quick blasts from his finger laser-cannon and destroy the bazookas before Negaduck could get off another blast.
Outside McCawber Manor, Darkwing spotted a finger sticking out of one of the bushes and tossed a flare in the bush's direction. The resulting blinding flash flushed Lafayette out completely and also threw him off just before he could use his earth and wind control powers to launch a combination earthquake and hurricane at McCawber Manor.
"So, Monsieur Darkwing, vous wish to harass me, oui?" the half-vampire warlock said.
"When somebody is threatening the life of the woman that I love, you can most certainly bet I AM going to, as you said, harass them, Mister Plasimeaux." Darkwing said in a dead serious tone.
"I have no idea what vous are talk'n about, mon ami." Lafayette said as to make sure that, in case Darkwing had a tape recorder on him, the masked hero couldn't get any comments that could concretely connect him to anything illegal.
"Safe it, Cluckula. It takes more than some plasma pirating pinhead to get the better of THIS crime-fighter." Darkwing said as he started to dodge a "homing tornado" conjured up by Lafayette.
As Darkwing dodged the Tornado he fired one of the silver-vapor-laced knockout gas canisters from his gas gun at the warlock. Though the half- vampire thought to wear nose filters, this DID still obscure enough of his vision to get him to temporarily call off his whirlwind. Lafayette fired a freeze bolt that missed Darkwing by mere inches but created a large pile of ice behind the caped canard that the warlock could bring to live as a monstrous ice giant.
Meanwhile, Morgana, still blocking Magica's bolts with her mystic shields, managed to cause the ground underneath her sorcerous rival to move slightly, but still just enough to give herself an opening to nail Magica with a dead-on mystic bolt of her own. Magica managed to get a partial mystic field up in time to block just enough of the blast to still be conscious, but Morgana still had enough of an opening to get in another zap and this one DID knock Magica out for the count.
Negaduck, during most of the fight between Morgana and Magica, was playing a game of "bomb-juggling tennis" with Gizmoduck (i.e. he kept trying to throw bombs at the armored hero, but Giz used his built-in tennis racket to keep swatting the bombs back at Negaduck, who was swatting the bombs back at his armored opponent in return with his own tennis racket while continuing to continue to throw bombs with his free hand). Once it got up to a dozen bombs being swatted back and forth, however, Negs switched tactics and threw a vile of acid which ate right through the strings on Gizmoduck's tennis racket. When all twelve of the bombs got through and went off all around Giz, the only-minor damage inflicted by the two point- blank bazooka shells and the more serious tire damage done by Negaduck's .44 magnum slug right in said tire was noticeably worsened, just as Negaduck planned from the start. "You're despicable." the armored hero said in a dazed voice as he collapsed.
"Well, that's somebody else's line, but you're right, I AM despicable." Negaduck said with a smile as he started to move in for the proverbial AND literal kill; courtesy of his 4000-horsepower, double-diamond-tipped buzzsaw, only to see said weapon get vaporized by a mystic bolt and to get blasted from behind himself by a whirlwind cooked up by Morgana (who, obviously, also provided the mystic bolt that destroyed Neg's buzzsaw) and sent flying right out on front of Gizmoduck, who managed to muster up enough strength to regain consciousness just long enough get in a spring- loaded boxing glove shot that nailed Negaduck squarely on the beak and sent him flying outside.
Still dodging Lafayette's ice beast, Darkwing managed to get off another shot from his gas gun; this one with a diluted napalm cartridge; that nailed the half-vampire right on the left shoulder. The flames, though put out well before they would have become lethal, still distracted the warlock just long enough for the caped canard to get in a superb leg sweep, which tripped Lafayette up just long enough for Darkwing to get in a beautiful elbow smash right in the back of his opponent's neck.
Admittedly, these non-fire attacks annoyed the half-vampire more than they actually hurt him, but that's what Darkwing was counting on as he dodged one of his opponent's flame blasts (which, instead, hit the ice giant that Lafayette was using to help him). The masked hero then grabbed Lafayette's cape and wrapped it around his half-vampire foe's legs, which tripped him up enough for Darkwing to remove the nose filters from Lafayette's beak, but nothing more.
Slowly, the warlock's temper started getting the better of him. He couldn't believe he was getting humiliated in battle by a "normal". In a fit of rage, the half-vampire grabbed a twenty-ton tree and ripped it right out of the ground with the intent of using it as a club. However, as Darkwing dodged the first few attempted swings, he also noticed Morgana coming in fast and blasting up the ground around Lafayette, causing the warlock to start shaking in fear and actually drop the uprooted tree on himself accidentally. "(gulp) Hooo-boy. Take it easy, Mademoiselle McCawber. Your amor was zee one to start it. I was merely defending myself." Lafayette said nervously even though, technically, the first part of his statement (Darkwing starting it) WAS true.
Darkwing took advantage of Lafayette's cowardice and loaded up his gas gun with another silver-vapor-laced knockout gas cartridge. Drawing careful aim, Darkwing fired the gas at the half-vampire warlock and watched as the villain fell unconscious.
The trouble was that Negaduck hadn't fallen unconscious when he was smacked with that spring-loaded boxing glove; merely went flying outside. Darkwing's villainous double had revived Magica, reasoning to himself that her magic would be their best bet to escape and then saw that Lafayette had fallen unconscious. The revived Magica morphed into a giant condor with Negaduck on her back and then flew up to the unconscious Lafayette as Negs threw down a bomb containing his usual red smoke. By the time the smoke cleared, all three villains were gone.
"Blast it. I can't believe we went to all that trouble and my double- dealing doppleganger, that dime-desiring dark arts mistress and that womanizer wizard all made a clean getaway." Darkwing said as he smacked himself in the face. "They might have gotten away, Dark, but at least we foiled their schemes and I think it'll be a while before they try anything in Saint Canard again." Morgana said comfortingly, to which Darkwing could only nod agreeingly. After all, he didn't want anything to interrupt him and Morgana the following night; the night that he had spent more than five weeks preparing himself for; not just purchasing the ring but also memorizing his speech for those aforementioned five weeks.
Lafayette stormed into the Laurel Room, with his two companions behind. "That wretched duck!" He snatched a glass vase from a table and hurled into the wall, where it shattered. He shot a fireball at the nightstand, reducing it to a heap of ashes.
"Like Morgana McCawber's even worth all that trouble," Negaduck commented, leaning on the doorframe.
Magica agreed. "Like the French say. C'est la vie. What about my dime?!"
"Fat chance of getting it anytime soon," Negaduck observed. "With Gizmoduck paying an unexpected visit."
Magica stomped her foot. "I want that dime!"
Lafayette took the angry witch's hand. "Why, Mademoiselle DeSpell, I'll be willing to get that dime for you. And I've enough money to get you a thousand dimes."
Negaduck looked disgusted. "Oh, geeze."
***********************************************************
The next night, Morgana scanned the dinner menu. "What's escargo?"
"Snails," replied her boyfriend. "It's something of a status symbol to be able to eat really gross stuff."
"And you say my food's bad."
Darkwing reached into the pocket of his purple jacket, where he had kept the velvet box. "Morg." He suddenly panicked. I forgot what I'm supposed to say! After practicing for five weeks!
"I think I know what you're trying to say, Dark. The expression you had coming here made me curious, so I scanned your mind."
Darkwing sheepishly opened the black box. A gold ring set with a cluster of diamonds was nestled on a satin bed. "Will you marry me?"
The sorceress grabbed him and brought her beak to his. The kiss lasted for a minute.
The caped canard blushed. "I'll take that as a yes."
The end