Title: Day in the Life
Author: Wonderland Toy
Summary: Sometimes being the Slayer is a sacred duty. And sometimes, you're in Discworld.
Disclaimer: Slayers belong to Joss Whedon and the 'Grr, Argh' monster. Discworld etc belongs to Terry Pratchett. (even Annabel Curry. Revel in the unoriginality.) I'm a girl, so that kind of excludes me from being any of them. Ignore the shockingly bad title. Please.
Space. Wide, glittering, limitless. Filled with galaxy upon galaxy of worlds, some spherical, some cuboid, some a sort of odd blobby shape.
In this particular galaxy, there is a giant star-turtle. And on the back of this star-turtle there is a discworld, orbited by one tiny sun and one even tinier moon, wreathed with the Rimbow, crowned with Cori Celesti. It is called... Disworld.
See the Discworld. See a continent. See a country. See a city. See a university. See a library.
See a girl.
"But I didn't _know_ he was a Black Ribboner*!"
Annabel Curry, part time student at the Spiteful Sisters of Seven-Handed Sek Charity school, full time Vampire Slayer, slammed her hands down on the desk. Around her, the books fluttered their pages meaningfully. Some of the more dangerous ones clanked their chains. ((Keep it down,)) they seemed to be saying, ((some other mildly sentient beings are trying to sleep here.))
Her Watcher looked at her disapprovingly. "Ook," he said, because he was an orangutan**.
Annabel scowled. "Yes, yes, I know I'm supposed to check. But he was acting really suspiciously! He was... creeping around... and looking at people's necks, and..."
The Librarian went, "Ook," indicating that this was not only a perfectly reasonable way of behaving in the Shades, but also an uncommonly wholesome one.
"Oh, shut up," she said, grumpily. "That's not the worst of it, either. Have you seen the Times lately?"
She did not wait for an answer before throwing the offending newspaper down on the table. "Just look at this, will you?" she said accusingly. "Demon lobby groups. Equal rights campaigns. They're thinking of creating a guild. A sodding _guild_."
The Librarian ooked unhappily to himself as he scanned the article.
MARCH FOR EQUAL RITES
The Campaign for Undead Rites reached a high point last night as hundreds of its members took part in a march down Short Street, demanding the formation of a Guild for the Undead.
Well-known undead spokesman and member of the City Watch Reg Shoe was Quoted as saying "It is about time sommbodie realised the extent to which our demonic brethren are discriminated against. It is a travesty of the law and shall not be Stood for."
He closed by yelling the Slogan of the march, to whit "Undead yes, unperson no!"
Commander Samuel Vimes, Duke of the Ankh, had no comment for the press but would like it known that he Glowered in a most ferocious manner.
"Can you even imagine it? They get a guild and they'll have quotas of people they'll be allowed to kill. Allowed to kill! And if I even try to lift a finger and stop someone from dying they'll have me down in the City Watch cells for assault!"
The Librarian shrugged and offered her a somewhat squished banana. Annabel snatched it away from him and stormed out into the dusty hallways. Huh. Black Ribboners. Demon unions. Bloody _politics_. Being the Slayer was shite.
* A colliqual term for a vampire perspicacious enough to realise that while slaughtering the innocent makes for a fun hobby, it doesn't do much for your survival chances. They usually meet every week in a hired hall to share experiences, drink bad coca and sing jolly songs about how they don't miss drinking blood at all, no sir.
** A minor drawback to being a Watcher, and one which had certainly made convincing his young charge that she was a vampire slayer more difficult than one would expect.